Chapter Nineteen
T he Great Hall is too hot. The scents of food and wine and sweat are heavy in the air, and my dance with Blake has made my skin feel tight. When I can’t find Callum, I decide to get some fresh air.
I navigate the shadowy corridors, walk through the entrance hall, and slip out of the castle into the small courtyard. My breath mists in front of my face, and I rub my arms over the long sleeves of my dress.
I stand here for a few minutes, before the big arched door swings open behind me. Claire steps outside. She’s clasping a goblet of red wine, and her dark hair tickles her face in the wind.
“Aurora. I didn’t know anyone was out here.”
Her stare is assessing—as if she’s sizing up whether or not I’m a threat. I don’t know if it’s because I’m the daughter of her enemy king, or whether it’s because of my relationship with Callum. I hold her gaze, equally wary of her.
“Callum is looking for you,” she says. “Although he just got cornered by Ryan, so it could be a while before he finds you.” She leans against the wall by the door and sips her wine. “The lad thinks he’s going to storm Madadh-allaidh by himself.”
“Oh dear.” An awkward silence hangs between us. “I like your coat.”
“Thank you.” She nods at my dark-blue dress. “Nice dress.”
We continue to stare at one another.
“Are you on our side?” I ask.
“I could ask the same of you.”
“I’m on Callum’s side. I have no love for my father, if that’s what you’re asking.”
She nods. “If you want to know whether I’ve picked between James and Callum, I have not.”
“You were on your way to Madadh-allaidh before you came here.”
“My clan is based in the north, close to Highfell, where the nights are getting darker. An old threat seems to be returning.” Her expression darkens. “There is something coming. We can sense it, and I want to move my people as far south as possible before it arrives.” She swills the wine in her cup. “I’ll respect whoever wins the challenge. James or Callum, it makes no difference to me.”
“I heard you had a... history with James.”
Her jaw tightens. “That was a long time ago.”
“What happened between you?”
She bites her cheek. “My uncle was alpha then, and James and Callum’s father was king. As a way to form an alliance, we were invited to Madadh-allaidh, and they agreed for James and me to marry.”
My eyebrows raise. “The match was arranged? Did you wed?”
She laughs. “No. It never came to that. When I found out I was being offered up like cattle, I was furious. I stormed into James’s bedchambers, slammed him against the wall, and put a blade to his balls. Told him I’d cut them off unless he put a stop to it.”
A faraway look appears in her eyes, as if she is enjoying the memory. “It turned out he knew nothing about it. He fought against it, but his father was a prick. We began fighting publicly with one another at every opportunity we had. We pretended to hate each other, so everyone could see how difficult an alliance would be with us at the heart.” A coy smile plays on her lips. “Secretly, though, we’d begun courting one another.” She shrugs. “The ultimate act of defiance, I suppose. Until we realized... it’s complicated.”
I suck in my bottom lip. I want to ask about Callum, but I know it’ll come across as insecure. I don’t want her to think I feel threatened by her. Her brow creases, as if she’s trying to decipher my emotions.
“Go on,” she says. “Out with it. What do you want to know?”
I exhale. “Lochlan said you had history with Callum, too.”
“Lochlan’s a shit-stirring arsehole.” She shakes her head. “I suppose we do, in a way. It was about five years ago, but it’s not what you think. Callum didn’t know I was courting James—we hid it well. Like everyone else, he thought we despised one another, and that I had a miserable future ahead of me. He could see his father wouldn’t relent.” She shrugs a shoulder. “He offered to take James’s place.”
I feel as if I’ve been doused with cold water. I thought he’d tried to bed Claire, but this is much harder to stomach. “He offered to be your husband?”
Claire rolls her eyes. “It wasn’t like that. Callum... he’s an honorable male with a weakness for a damsel in distress.”
Her words don’t make me feel any better. They’re an echo of what Lochlan said. Callum rescued me, once. Is that the main reason we’re together?
She shakes her head, her expression solemn. “He thought he was saving me from misery. He didn’t realize I was never rebelling against being with his brother, but having my future decided for me by others. He wanted to rescue me, not marry me.”
I look at her, taking in her curves, her bright eyes, and her delicate features. “I’m sure he didn’t.”
“You were betrothed yourself, at one point, weren’t you?”
“Sebastian was not as pretty as you.”
She laughs, and her stare becomes curious. “There are rumors that James killed him at the battle. Callum said James is lying. He says you were the one who did it.”
Adrenaline swirls like wind in my chest. I clench my fists to stop my hands from shaking as the memory of slitting my betrothed’s throat flashes through my mind. “Yes.”
She must hear my pounding pulse. “I’ve had to kill in order to become alpha. It’s never easy, and always leaves a mark on one’s soul. You shouldn’t regret it, though.”
“I don’t.”
“Good,” she says. “I’m glad you killed that bastard. He committed many atrocities against my people. Although I hear they have a new lord now, who is just as bad.”
Worse , I want to tell her.
She finishes her wine, places it on a nearby window ledge, then walks across the cobblestones to the gates. “It was good to speak with you in private. Perhaps soon, we’ll be allies, if Callum wins his challenge.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
She gives me a terse smile.
“You’re going to visit James, now, aren’t you?” I ask.
“Like I said, I need to make an alliance. But I’ll respect the winner of the challenge.” She disappears into the tunnel.
I slump against the castle walls, and place my palms on the rough stone. Callum asked another woman to marry him. It’s not the idea that he envisioned a future with Claire that bothers me, as such, but his reason for doing it. Does he merely see me as a damsel he needs to protect?
I take a couple of deep breaths, and taste woodsmoke on the night air. I straighten and smooth down my dress, before tucking a couple of errant strands of hair behind my ears. I need to get control over myself. It’s been so long since I’ve let myself feel anything, I fear I’m letting my emotions get the better of me.
It could be the wolf that stirs inside me that makes me feels territorial about Callum. It could be the princess who has never courted anyone—never even had a proper friend—who is scared of losing the one person who has cared for her since she was a child.
Callum has never given me a reason to doubt him. I head inside so I can talk to him. The door on the opposite side of the entrance hall opens at the same time. Ian strolls through. His blond hair is messy, and his eyes a little bloodshot. There’s a red wine stain on his yellow kilt.
He smiles when he sees me. “Good evening, Princess.”
My body tenses as he approaches. I’m not sure if it’s his forced smile that puts me on guard, or the scent of alcohol that radiates from him.
Perhaps it’s because James told him that Alexander wanted me in exchange for his brother.
I subtly reach for the wolfsbane between my breasts. “Good evening.”
He steps in front of me and I curl my fingers around the glass vial.
“Is everything okay, Ian?” Callum emerges from the corridor behind him.
Ian tenses, then smiles. Callum is a head taller than him, and must be twice his width. He folds his arms, emphasizing his biceps.
Ian swallows. “I just wanted to let the princess know we’re lucky to have her here.”
“We are.” Callum doesn’t smile. He looks the younger male up and down, and Ian averts his gaze. “Go on. Back to the feast.”
Ian dips his head. Callum doesn’t stand aside, so the smaller male has to squeeze past him before he disappears from view.
I let loose a breath. Callum turns his attention to me.
Even with the threat to me gone, he seems tense. His jaw is a strong line, and his expression is stony. My pulse slowed at his arrival, but it starts to speed up again. He seems like he’s annoyed with me.
“Is something wrong?” I ask.
“Let’s go somewhere private.”
I fall into step beside him. He threads his fingers with mine, and leads me past the festivities in the Great Hall, and up one of the stairwells.
“I’ll have a word with Lochlan about Ian,” he says. “I don’t like how he was looking at you.”
He opens the door to our room, and we step inside. The fire burns low in the hearth, casting a soft glow onto the leather armchairs and the four-poster bed.
I walk past him, and sit on one of the armchairs—the one facing away from the window, so I don’t have to look at the half-moon that shines over the loch. Callum shuts the door, then lingers by the foot of the bed. There’s something... off about him.
“What did Claire have to say?” I ask.
“There have been some unexplained deaths in a few of the villages in her territory, and people were seen entering an old chapel dedicated to the God of Night not too far from Highfell. She thinks Night’s Acolytes are rising once more. They’ve been talking about someone called the Night Prince. We have enough to be worrying about with Lochlan and James right now.”
“Is there something else? Something wrong?”
He chews his cheek as he leans against one of the bedposts. “You tell me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I...” He drags his hands over his face. “I don’t know. Probably nothing.”
The room is silent but for the odd crackle coming from the fire, and the faint sound of bagpipes coming from the Great Hall. “Do you think I’m a damsel, Callum?”
His brow furrows. “What?”
“A damsel in distress. A weak female who needs saving.”
He folds his arms. “Because I’m going to have a word with Lochlan about a male from his clan who was up to no good?”
“No.” I know I sound petulant, but... “Do you think I’m your equal?”
He frowns. “Aye? Why?”
“You said once that you wanted to be with a female who was equal to you.”
“I do.” He cocks his head to one side. “I am.”
“Yet you feel the need to protect me all the time.”
“You’re very small.” When I don’t return his smile, he exhales. “You told me you did not want me to suppress myself, my wolf instincts, around you. I’m an alpha, and you are my lass, and aye, I want to protect you. What’s wrong with that?”
“I could help Lochlan with Alexander, you know?”
“I won’t risk you.”
I turn toward the flickering flames in the fireplace. “Claire’s an alpha. If you were together, you wouldn’t have to protect her, would you?” I instantly regret saying it. I sound weak. Foolish.
Silence stretches between us, and I long for him to fill it. I need him to say something. Anything. There’s the thud and creak of footsteps across the floorboards. Callum crouches in front of the chair and nudges my knees apart to accommodate him. I’m not sure what I expect when I turn back to him. Annoyance, perhaps, or even confusion. It’s not the wide grin that is spread across his face. I hate that it makes the corners of my lips twitch.
“What are you smiling about?” I say.
“So that’s what this is all about.”
“What?”
He slides his hands up my legs, pushing up my skirt, and nips my inner thigh with his teeth. “Fuck, I like that you’re jealous.”
My breathing hitches. “I’m not jealous.”
He kisses my leg, and his stubble scrapes against the sensitive skin. “Oh, I think that you are.” His hands move up and down my calves, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. “Perhaps I’m not the only territorial wolf around here.”
“You asked her to marry you.”
He looks up at me. “It wasn’t like that.”
I take his face in my hands to stop him from distracting me. “What was it like?”
“I was eighteen. My mother had just gone missing. My father was grieving. My brother was distant and distracted. I was far from my home.” He shakes his head. “I was looking for purpose, I suppose. Claire and James seemed unhappy with the match, and I offered to take James’s place. I wanted to prove myself to my father, to my people. It wasn’t romantic.”
“Claire seemed to think you did it to save her from an unhappy fate.”
“I suppose that played into my decision, aye. Does that make me a monster?”
“No.” I huff. “It makes you a good man, a good wolf. Someone who would rescue any woman in distress, no matter who they were. Just like you rescued me.”
He frowns. “You did not wish for me to rescue you?”
“Of course. I’m happy you brought me here.”
“Ah, so you don’t have an issue with me protecting you ,” he says. “You don’t like the thought of me protecting others? That’s what makes you jealous?”
“No. It’s not that, either.”
I sigh. He doesn’t get it. How can he? Callum is like a mountain—solid and strong.
“What is it then?” His gaze is searching, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle.
I bite my bottom lip. I’m not used to expressing my feelings. I’m not sure how to explain that somehow, sometimes, Callum makes me feel weak. Not in the way that my father made me feel weak—with his control, and his dismissiveness, and his scorn if I showed emotion. In the way that he is so careful with me.
I wonder, sometimes, if it’s my weakness that attracts him to me in the first place, when I don’t want to be weak any longer. I want to be equal to the Wolves in this kingdom. I want to be equal to him.
“You’re very... careful with me,” I say, finally.
“I don’t understand.” His brow creases. “You would rather I was rough? Or cruel?”
“No. Of course not.” I brush my thumb across his cheek. “All of my life, I’ve been taught to suppress my emotions and my opinions. All of my life, I’ve felt as if there was a scream building in my chest that I could never let go of. I worry, sometimes, that you suppress yourself around me, because you don’t think I’m strong enough to handle the real you.”
He pulls back slightly, and I worry that I’ve offended him. “My father didn’t suppress his emotions. He was rough, and cruel, and he treated my mother poorly. So I’ll hold back sometimes, because I don’t want to turn into him. And aye, I’m careful with you, because you’re precious to me. Is that so wrong?”
“I suppose not. I don’t know. This is all new to me.”
“Me too.”
“It is?”
“Believe it or not, I’ve never courted a bonny wee Southlands princess, with fire in her soul, who drives me to despair on a daily basis.”
My eyes narrow. “But you have courted other females before?”
His smile is soft but not remorseful. “I have.”
Jealously crashes through me. It has thorns that ravage my insides. My canines ache, and the urge to bite something, to bite Callum, overcomes me. When Callum growls softly, I know he senses it.
“Fuck,” he groans, dipping his lips to my leg once more. “That jealousy of yours makes me want to do some very bad things to you.”
My lip twitches, despite my dark mood. “Do them, then.”
His warm breath brushes close to the place where I’d like his mouth. “My wolf is very close to the surface right now. You want me to stop holding back with you? Let us wait until after the full moon, once you’ve shifted for the first time.”
My jealousy twists into annoyance, then fear. I don’t want to think about my body breaking and changing and my mind not being my own any longer. I want to be distracted.
I bet he’s so gentle with you. So afraid you will break.
I find myself thinking about what Blake would do to get what he wanted. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps, even after the full moon, we should not... act on our impulses.”
“What?” The word tickles my inner thigh.
I rest my elbow on the arm on the chair and put my hand over my mouth to suppress my smile. “You know, as a Southlands princess, I’m not supposed to bed anyone before marriage. I should probably honor that, going forward.” I catch the flash of the wolf in his eyes. “Perhaps I should not bed anyone again, until after I’m wed.”
“No sex before marriage? That’s how you do things in the Southlands?” His brow crumples, and I almost laugh.
“Yes. What do you think?”
I bite my cheek, sure he’s about to pounce on me, sure I’ve won my little game with him. His breath is warm against my skin, and his shoulders brush against my inner thighs when he raises himself up.
“Okay,” he says. “Marry me, then.”