Chapter 2 Always #2
“You were unconscious for some time and Rhalyf had to perform a magical spell that he’s never done before. Though he is massively skilled, still it was his first time undoing a very elaborate enchantment,” Aquilan said.
“Yeah, did he say… did he think…” Declan blinked rapidly.
“What, Declan?”
“Was it there to protect me? Or to protect people from me?” Declan asked.
Aquilan’s eyes widened. “To protect you. Keep you safe and hidden until you were brought to me.”
“Brought to you. All this time. We were supposed to meet.” Declan shook his head. “But something went terribly wrong.”
“Yes. Do you… remember?” Aquilan asked, extending his hands to the side as if that could encompass all of Declan’s past.
Declan shook his head. “No. I mean… pieces. I have these dreams where I remember certain things. A few moments really. I was an orphan. No, I was told I was an orphan. Lied to. By my mother and her Blood Knight Vulre Vultorus.”
“She lied to you?” Aquilan’s brows drew together. His own mother had told him his parents were dead? He supposed that was one way to keep Declan’s existence a secret.
But it is a cruel way.
Declan began to pace. “I was living in a place called the Venomthorn. It is a training facility for Kindreth who will become Blood Knights. Those are elite soldiers and bodyguards for the great Houses of the Kindreth.”
Aquilan nodded. “And you were being trained to become one of those? Or ostensibly so?”
And this would be an excellent way to ensure Declan’s safety. Train him and teach him and make him strong.
A sharp nod. “Yes, but while I was a skilled warrior for my age, I thought I was a Null. Someone without magic. It was only at the last moment–just before we had to flee–that I used my magic for the first time.”
“Clearly, you are very magical.” Aquilan blinked. “I cannot imagine how anyone could think you a–a Null, was it?”
“Yes, but like my father before me, evidently, I was a late bloomer.” A flash of a sharp smile on Declan’s face. “And my magic was beyond my control. Maybe well beyond my control.”
Declan’s hands worked together in front of him as he paced. His anxiety was building like magma in a volcano. It was the last thing that Aquilan wanted for him. This was supposed to be a peaceful evening.
“I do not understand–”
“Finley says it isn’t my fault. But I need to tell you something. I can’t… can’t not.” He rubbed his face with both hands almost convulsively. “You must make up your own mind if you think I am the responsible one. Yes, that is the only way.”
Aquilan lifted his hands as if to physically stop the words from coming. He wanted Declan to rest and relax. To recover. But this was not the way for those things to happen. “Whatever it is, it will be fine. Let us go eat–”
“No, no, I have to do this. I have to tell you this. I told Vex I couldn’t have been responsible for what happened,” Declan said, not making any sense, but so anxious that Aquilan’s hands ached to stroke his tense shoulders. “But after I saw my dad… my dad’s body in the nest…”
Aquilan’s forehead creased, not understanding how seeing Vex had caused that distress. And when had Declan seen Vex in the nest? Surely it was before that… “Your father?”
“Not Vex. Tyler Wilde. My adopted dad. He… the Leviathan took him…” Declan got out. “That first day of the war.”
“By the gods, no,” Aquilan breathed as he understood who the cocooned figure had been.
A nod. Sharp and broken. “You saw what I did to the nest after that. It was easy. Easy, Aquilan. So I am capable of… Aquilan, there’s a crater by where the wards are anchored.”
“A crater? But what does that have to do with–”
“Vex asked me if I did it. I told him no, because I thought I wasn’t capable of that. But I am. You saw.” Declan stopped pacing. “I might be responsible for weakening the wards. For letting the Leviathan through to Earth. For the losses to humanity and to your people. The war might be my fault.”
Aquilan stared at him silently. His words weren’t what was causing Aquilan to freeze.
Not exactly. His mind was racing. He was thinking back to the group of Kindreth that had come to the Lieren Plane, specifically, the one who had wanted to tell him something of great import…
He had thought it was just about Declan, but what if it was something more than that?
Declan dared look up at him, but then quickly away. The young man shook himself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I mean… I should have left immediately when I woke up. Of course, you don’t want me–”
“Your fault?” Aquilan blinked at him. His mouth was finally working, but the wrong words escaped.
Declan grew tense and let out a ragged sigh as he confessed, “Yes. We were attacked by the Leviathan when we escaped to Illithor. And I think I must have used my magic. Things must have gotten out of hand. My mother was attempting to weaken the wards already to let us through so that might have allowed what I did–”
“Declan–”
“This is likely all my fault so I’ll go–”
“Declan!” Aquilan had Declan’s shoulders.
He hadn’t even realized he’d moved. But he had crossed the space between them and grasped his shoulders.
He gripped them probably too tightly. But the thought of Declan going was too horrible to contemplate, but he was still reeling with what Declan had told him. “Describe Vulre to me.”
“W-what?” Declan blinked at him.
“Describe him to me. You remember what he looked like, yes?” Aquilan demanded.
“Y-yeah.”
And Declan told him.
And Aquilan recognized him.
And it all became clear.
“You are not to blame, Declan. I am,” Aquilan breathed even as he held onto the young man.
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you hear me? I may have weakened the wards–”
“Vulre came to the Lieran Plane likely to tell me about you and what had happened to the wards, but I… I killed him without letting him say a word,” Aquilan finally got out.
He knew about the wards being weakened. He knew they would fail. He knew about Declan. If I had not killed him… yet why did he not tell me with his last breath? Why destroy Earth? Yet what did he owe humanity? But what of Declan?
“You killed Vulre?” Declan didn’t sound horrified. In fact, his voice was rather flat. Almost disappointed.
Aquilan’s head lowered. Shame coursed through him. “I–I did. I’m so sorry–”
“No! Don’t be,” Declan said firmly. He shook his head violently. “He was evil. Cruel. A bastard. Hated me. Tried to kill me. More than once.”
“What?” Aquilan’s eyes went wide. What kind of childhood had Declan had?
“I’m glad he’s dead.” Declan’s lips writhed back from his teeth with disgust. “You were right to do that. He snuck into the Lieran Plane, didn’t he?”
“Yes, but if I had let him speak–”
“Who knows what he would have told you. You’re not responsible–”
“And yet, you, as a child were? For defending your mother? For perhaps losing control of your magic when attacked? No, Declan, this is not your fault if that is even what happened,” Aquilan assured him.
“But if I had known I could have done something. I could have gotten to you, at least. Maybe even sustained the wards in some way.”
Or gotten Vex to do it.
“Do you think you could have? Can you now?” Declan asked.
“I don’t know. Vex’s powers are much greater than mine and there is no Sun in the Under Dark, but perhaps… perhaps I could try,” he said.
“My father should fix them. But he seems unwilling to do so,” Declan shook his head.
“Or perhaps they can’t be fixed. But, again, that is not your fault. So many things had to go wrong for this to happen,” Aquilan let out a breath. “And nothing lasts forever. Not even the great Night King’s spells. That they lasted as long as they did says much about them and his skill.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“You are not to blame, Declan. You are not,” Aquilan assured him.
“Maybe not. Maybe I am. I just know… I just know that I have to do whatever I can to keep those I care about safe now,” Declan said with a firm press of his lips at the end.
“And we are all the safer for it,” Aquilan said. “While I do not know Kindreth magic, perhaps I can help you with some simple techniques. And there will be books. I’m sure there are.”
Declan nodded. “I have to get control of it.” His hands fisted at his sides. “I can’t risk losing control and hurting someone I don’t intend to.”
“We will find a way. I promise you that,” Aquilan said.
“You aren’t responsible either, Aquilan. Not about the wards. And you don’t have to worry about what happened to me after you killed Vulre. I actually was the happiest I’d ever been then. He left me with Alexia and Tyler. They were good people. You would have… have liked them,” Declan murmured.
Aquilan saw the deep sadness in Declan. “That was Tyler’s body you found in the nest?”
A nod.
“By the gods, the likelihood of that–”
“I don’t think the gods had anything to do with it. Unless one of them is called Vex,” Declan murmured.
“I know he seems unfathomable, but I can’t believe he would have wanted to hurt you by showing you that–”
“No, it was good. I’m glad to know. Glad to have that knowledge,” Declan said firmly. “To know for certain. And I think he wanted to know what I was capable of. I showed him that. I showed myself that, too.”
“Vex wanted to upset you–”
“So that I would lose control. Give me my dad back. Show me that I’m capable of killing… a lot of people.” Declan’s head hung down. “That sounds about his style, doesn’t it?”
“He is so strange in some ways. But to hurt you like that–”
“He doesn’t care. I mean… I’m not sure that’s true. He’s… alien. Not like us. Not even like you. So old. So distant. Like a star. Cold and beautiful and uncaring. We all look up at it and wonder at its loveliness, but it doesn’t think of us at all,” Declan got out.
Aquilan blinked. “That’s… that’s an incredibly beautiful thought, but sad, too. And you claim not to be good with words.”
“I’m not.” Declan shuffled from foot to foot.