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Finley tentatively laid his head against Rhalyf’s shoulder as they left Hope arm-in-arm.
It was still new to feel free to do things like this.
He wasn’t even completely sure that it was all right.
It had been easy to touch Rhalyf during the day, but now it was night and everything was different.
They were going to Rhalyf’s mage tower–and it wasn’t to watch Rhalyf perform magic–so touching suddenly felt much more risky and forbidden. It could lead somewhere now.
Love is a distraction, the professor mused.
Yes, but I believe it might be worth it, Finley answered without thinking as Rhalyf leaned over and kissed the top of his head.
This is all chemicals in the brain, Finley. Chemicals. This first flush will pass and then you’ll see that it truly is not worth it. Not now. Not while you’re mortal in any case and time is limited, the professor answered.
Wait! Not now when I’m mortal? So does that mean there’s a way for me to become immortal? Like Rhalyf and Declan?
Electricity shot through Finley’s veins and it wasn’t only because of Rhalyf giving him another kiss. If he could become immortal then he could learn everything… He could be there by Declan’s side. He could be there by Rhalyf’s side. An equal. A true equal.
Yes, of course! When one masters Death… Well, one becomes Death’s friend. Special friend, the professor said.
Finley blinked. You know a “special friend” means–
Oh, Finley, you truly have ridiculous amounts of romance on the brain if you thought I meant it that way! Though… Here, the professor paused for a moment and then went on, If you become a Necromancer then Death will be closer to you than anyone or anything else. Remember this!
How long does it take to master Death?
It depends how worthy you are, Finley. Remember that.
Finley remembered being worthy meant killing that creature in the Temple of the Necrilem. What might it next mean?
But that thought bled away as he and Rhalyf walked away from Hope.
The electric lights soon faded and there was only the rush and shush of the waves of Calicea and the moonlight.
Normally to be outside after dark like this–especially by the lake–was dangerous.
But with Rhalyf by his side it was perfectly safe.
Not quite like the before times, but close enough.
Or maybe even better in some ways. Because never had he imagined having a lover–or friends with benefits or whatever they were–with someone like Rhalyf.
“I can’t remember the last time I walked on the beach at night,” Finley admitted.
“Oh?” Rhalyf threaded his fingers through Finley’s loosely. His fingers were elegant and cool. Smooth but callused in just the right places. “It’s such a lovely place. The lakes in the Under Dark are not so fine. They’re places of mystery and a quick death if you’re not careful.”
“Uhm, Calicea has become that, too, you know?”
“Not quite so bad, but yes, I suppose you have a point,” Rhalyf chuckled.
“I lived so near the lake for so long. I just accepted it would always be there. That there would always be a chance to walk on the beach and listen to the waves at night. So when there was something else to do, I just said I’d go to the beach another time,” Finley explained.
“Never thinking that time would go away.”
Rhalyf nodded. “I know a little something about that. There was this bookstore at the end of a crooked lane in Nhamashel. Red velvet high-back chairs for readers to sit in tucked into cozy corners. Books on everything and anything piled all the way up to the ceiling. Surprisingly little dust, but that glorious book smell filling the air nonetheless. They even served wine. Sip rich reds and swallow stony whites, turn crisp pages, and lose oneself.”
“That sounds amazing.” Finley could imagine such a place lit by a warm golden glow in the depths of the Under Dark. Safe and cozy against all the dangers there. It was an illusion of course. But it was an alluring one.
“It was. And I was only there once.” Rhalyf let out a soft laugh that was sad.
“Like you, I thought I had all the time in the world to return. But the next day after I discovered that place, Ashryn started her little coup and…” Rhalyf shrugged.
He had to say nothing more. He’d run away. As far and as fast as he could.
“The Leviathan, obviously, ended even the possibility of being here, too,” Finley said. “It wasn’t like I had any elf to simply walk me home at night before now.”
“Any elf? I just qualify as any elf?” Rhalyf flashed him a dashing smile, which was good, because Finley knew half of his mind was on his meeting with Aquilan tomorrow.
Finley pretended to consider this rating. “You rate just above any elf. You’ll do, I suppose.”
“I’ll do? In a pinch?” Rhalyf cocked up an eyebrow.
“In a pinch? Yes. Definitely, in a pinch.” Finley nodded solemnly as if Rhalyf wasn’t the best thing ever. The best elf ever.
“Well, then I am honored to be there for you in a pinch.” Rhalyf swept into a bow though he did not let go of Finley’s hand.
“If I have no other choices, of course,” Finley said.
Rhalyf goggled at him. “No other–ah! You are teasing me! That is what is happening here! Teasing. Teasing Finley. That’s what you are.”
It was Finley’s turn to grin and give a rakish bow. He didn’t let go of Rhalyf’s hand either.
“I feel I have taught you too well. And not even magic,” Rhalyf observed then grinned.
Finley felt the weight of the dagger and the book in the bag slung across his shoulders.
Rhalyf could not teach him this magic. But that didn’t matter.
“You realize that you can go back to Nhamashel now, don’t you?
See that little bookshop again? Sip wine and read in a red velvet chair?
Your uncle doesn’t believe you were part of the coup.
And, from what I could see, he looked rather fond of you tonight. ”
“Yes, he did. He… is. Maybe.” Rhalyf shook himself. He was smiling at the thought but also looked a little shell shocked by it. “And I might get that chance to see it. Because after tomorrow… I may have no place here.”
Finley’s heart squeezed as if a vise had closed around it. “I suppose…”
“Finley, you’re not being supportive! You look more dire than me!” Rhalyf let out a light and airy laugh that sounded like broken glass. And, for a moment, the mask of the jaded playboy was ripped away and the raw fear of loss appeared on his beautiful face.
Finley’s heart caught. He hated seeing this pain and uncertainty on Rhalyf’s face.
But he’d never been a good liar. He didn’t believe in lying to make other people feel good about things that were bad.
And he wasn’t sure it would help. If he told Rhalyf those things and it was not so when he faced Aquilan tomorrow wouldn’t it be worse?
“What am I supposed to say?” Finley finally asked after the silence had stretched on too long.
“You are supposed to say that there is no chance of that! Aquilan will completely understand my decades of lying to him and hiding my true identity especially after my uncle appears on the scene and tells me to keep silent! Well, I thought he meant that, but he didn’t.
He was just getting back at me. Oh, and I dragged my sister into it.
So! You’re to assure me that all of this means nothing, because Aquilan loves me like a brother.
” Rhalyf paused, “Except not like Vesslan. He loves me far better than he loves Vesslan”
“I think I’ve only met Vesslan once or twice and I completely understand that statement,” Finley responded.
“So are you going to say all those things to me? Tell me that I’m worried about nothing? Aren’t you, Finley? Finley?” He said the rest a little pitifully.
Finley squeezed their joined hands. “I think…”
“Yes?” Big eyes. Gray. Not red. Not yet. They were walking a bit farther away before he opened a rift.
“I think that if anyone can turn this around it’s you,” Finley promised.
“Oh, that’s… that’s… it’s that bad. It really is. Worse than I thought,” Rhalyf laughed. “And I thought it was truly bad.”
He leaned forward and groaned. Finley’s heart clenched again for another reason.
“No, no, that’s not… I’m not good at this, Rhalyf!” Finley flapped his free hand.
“You’re good at everything,” Rhalyf contradicted.
“No, that’s Declan. I’m good at scholarly things and game things and, hopefully, magic things.” Finley lifted his chin.
“I felt you were meant to be a mage from the first.”
“You thought casting a single spell would kill me.”
“Yes,” Rhalyf nodded. “But I thought that would be an awful shame, because you have the soul of a mage.”
“People do have souls, you know?” Finley let out a soft huff of laughter.
“Yes, of course!” Rhalyf shrugged, but then seeing Finley’s expression of wonder as he said it added, “You didn’t… you weren’t sure… of course not.”
“I wasn’t until all of this happened. I was so certain that there was nothing. No souls. No afterlife. We just… ceased to be. Even though I had heard the professor’s voice long ago.”
“Everything changed for you with the Leviathan and what came after… I can’t say that I can completely understand that.
Being with the Aravae–pretending to be one–and becoming Aquilan’s friend changed my understanding of what things could be like.
But your whole world evaporated and then reconstituted,” Rhalyf mused.
“That’s one way of putting it. It was more like a dream made real… after a lot of horror,” Finley admitted. “But the price of magic is always high.”
“It is,” Rhalyf agreed softly.
“Anything worth anything costs something. There’s risks. Nothing is certain. But it’s worth it. Like for Aquilan,” Finley said.
“Meaning? I feel some wisdom is about to be spouted. And I need it,” Rhalyf said with an uncertain smile.