Gus
‘Oh, yes,’ he said. ‘I thought I’d come and check whether you needed another one re-siting.’
‘Oh, you are good,’ said Cindy. ‘But the one Dr Winters did on Wednesday is holding nicely thanks. ‘You clearly showed her how it’s done.’ She smiled at Violet who was stood perched against the desk.
‘It certainly does.’ Violet was also finding it hard to keep her expression impassive but Cindy seemed oblivious to the undercurrent of chemistry.
‘Right,’ she said. ‘I’m off to check on bed seven’s catheter bag. See you both later.’
‘Are you busy?’ Gus said once Cindy had wandered away. He idly picked up a pile of notes and began flicking through them.
‘I was,’ Violet said, beaming at him. ‘But I’ve just got to the point where I thought I could risk a little break. It is two in the morning, after all.’
‘Shall we head over to the mess maybe?’ Gus was trying to keep his voice casual but, God, it was hard work.
She smelled so good, it was like she was radiating pure pheromones at him.
And he knew she was still wearing his boxer shorts underneath those cotton scrubs, the thought of it had been driving him crazy for the past six hours.
‘Did you not have something important to be doing here?’ she said, laughing lightly.
‘Not really, no,’ he said. ‘I’ve got what I came for. Come on.’
They started walking away from the main ward area into the darker corridor to the exit.
‘Have you been to see Marv?’ Gus asked her, sliding a hand around her back and hooking his thumb into the waistband of her trousers. He could feel the rise and fall of her hip as she walked.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I went straight after handover. He was still awake, but he looked knackered.’ She told him about Marvin’s reluctance to proceed with criminal charges even if the police found the perpetrators and what a mess they had made of his face, but she also said how relieved she’d been to chat to him properly and reassure herself that he was still the same old Marv underneath the bruising.
‘Did you tell him about– about us?’ said Gus, not really sure why it mattered but certain that it did.
‘Of course,’ said Violet. ‘I wanted to cheer him up with some good news.’
Gus stopped walking and pulled her into him as they huddled in the shadows near the ward office.
‘Did you tell him everything?’ He whispered the question in her ear and she giggled.
‘Pretty much,’ she said. ‘Although, not in detail. He’s still recovering from major surgery.’ She bit her lip. ‘He did get me thinking though.’
‘Ye-es.’ Gus slid his hand around her hip and squeezed her bottom. ‘What about?’
‘Well…’ She pulled away from him slightly so she could look him in the eye.
‘He said I should check that things are really over between you and Amelia. I don’t like the idea that you might be keeping something from me– and you have been hiding the break-up from everybody else so…
It sort of implies that you still have feelings for her.
Which is fine, kind of– as long as you tell me. ’
He gave her a curious glance but kept his hands on her waist, reluctant to lose the contact. ‘Would it really be fine?’ he said. ‘If I still had feelings for her?’
‘I would understand,’ she said carefully. ‘I might not like it, but I’d like it a lot less if I thought you’d lied. You were together for a long time. I get it if, you know, it’s hard to let go.’
He nodded and thought for a moment. The last thing he wanted to do was mislead Violet, especially when she’d been so candid with him.
But he still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt.
He didn’t know for certain that he was over Amelia.
After all, she had made the decision to leave him, and months later he was still playing catch up, just about coming to terms with the fact that the relationship was finished.
But if he told Violet that– if he admitted his doubts– then surely she’d run a mile, regardless of what she said now. And he’d have blown his chance.
‘I have let go,’ he said, his voice more definite than he felt.
‘I can see now that there were major flaws in our relationship. And maybe we weren’t good for each other, not as good as we’d initially thought anyway.
’ (This at least was true.) ‘Amelia realised it first, but it was the right decision, to split up. I’m fine with it.
’ He nodded, as much to convince himself as anyone else.
‘I’m over it,’ he said. ‘I’m ready to move on. ’
She raised her eyebrows and he felt a clanging anxiety in his chest. Had that been enough? Was it too much in fact? Would she now feel pressurised? Had he implied that he wanted to move on with her ?
‘Not that I mean anything heavy,’ he said in a rush.
‘I’m not necessarily hunting around for my next fiancée.
’ He groaned, realising that he was in danger of ballsing this up completely, but then he noticed her smile and felt a rush of relief wash over him.
‘Look, Violet,’ he said, cupping her cheek.
‘I’m not saying that I’m entirely without baggage.
Who is? But my feelings for Amelia have changed, completely.
Disappeared in a puff of smoke– pffft .
’ He mimed the end of a magic trick and she laughed.
That was when he knew he’d won her over.
‘I really enjoy being with you,’ he said, feeling he was definitely on more solid ground now, the statement factually correct.
Evidence-based , Violet would have said.
The thought made him smile and he couldn’t help but up the ante. ‘I love being with you.’
Her eyebrows lifted at the use of the L word (perhaps that had been unnecessary) but she nodded, her expression decisive.
‘Well, that’s good enough for me,’ she said.
‘I’ll reassure Marv that you’re not some chancer intent on toying with my emotions– although he’d probably argue that I didn’t have any to toy with.
’ She looked shy. ‘Thanks for being honest.’
Instantly he felt guilty. He hadn’t been completely honest. But if he had been, surely, he’d have lost her.
There were times when it was acceptable to fudge the truth, he told himself, and this was one of them.
After all, no harm would come of it and maybe, after a longer period of time and adjustment, it really would be the case– he’d be over the break-up and have completely forgotten Amelia.
He wasn’t lying to Violet. In effect he was just making a down-payment on the full truth of the situation.
That made him feel better. Perhaps he should do something tangible, demonstrate just how ‘over it’ he was.
‘Would it help if I started telling everyone?’ he said.
‘What? About the fact that we’ve slept together?’
He laughed. ‘No, about the fact that Amelia and I have split up,’ he said. ‘But I can tell all of our colleagues that we’re having sex if you like? Absolute candour. Should I put a notice up in the mess?’ He paused, seeing her expression, ‘I’m only teasing, Violet, don’t look so horrified.’
‘You’d better be,’ she said. ‘Honesty is one thing, oversharing entirely another. Besides,’ she gave him an arch look, ‘I’ll have to beat half the female hospital staff off with a stick if they find out. I imagine most of them know how amazing you are in bed from personal experience?’
‘I was never quite the lothario you’re imagining,’ he said, not sure whether he should feel a little hurt by the accusation. ‘Not even as a student. I mean, I went out with a few girls but no more than most.’
‘It’s just that Anjali said everyone was in love with you at medical school. She said you broke about a billion hearts when you announced you were engaged.’ Her voice was light and he sensed that now he was being teased.
‘Are you jealous, Dr Winters?’ he said slowly, leaning in to kiss her neck and making her laugh as his breath tickled her ear.
‘Because you sound a tiny bit jealous. And what was it you said? About me being amazing in bed?’ He slid his hands down the sides of her body and felt her jolt beneath him as she took a sharp intake of breath.
God, he loved having this effect on her– it certainly went some way to settling the niggle of guilt in his stomach.
‘Well,’ she said, her voice breathy and high, ‘you’re okay I suppose.’
He kissed her again, burrowing his mouth into the crook of her neck and then trailing smaller kisses up her throat until his lips smiled against hers. ‘Do you think I need to try a little bit harder?’ he murmured. ‘Improve my technique?’
‘Maybe.’ She curved her body against him. ‘You said it yourself with the cannulation the other day, there’s no skill involved, it’s just practice.’
He felt behind him until he reached the handle of the door to the office and they both fell into the darkened room, giggling as they kissed each other.
‘This is enormously unprofessional, Dr Jovic.’ Violet gasped as he slid his hand up her top. The floodlights of the ambulance bay filtered through the metal shutters on the window throwing stripes across her face and neck.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I’ll be reporting us both to the hospital board as soon as we leave.’ He backed her up against the wall of the narrow room, one hand on her shoulder, the other still busy up her top.
‘Should we fill out an incident form?’ She brushed her hands teasingly against him through the fabric of his trousers.
‘Definitely.’ His voice was suddenly tight in his throat.
‘Major incident,’ she said, sliding her hands up. ‘Or minor incident?’ She slid her hands down.
‘Probably best to do both,’ he spluttered. ‘Just to be on the safe side.’ He rubbed his thumb over the lacy fabric of her bra. ‘Don’t suppose there’s any chance I could persuade you to take this off?’
‘No,’ she said, her breath catching as his fingers roamed under the wire of the cup. ‘We really can’t. We?—’
Just then the door burst open.
Violet cried out in surprise and Gus froze in position as a dark figure appeared framed in the doorway.
Before he could register anything else the overhead light was on, illuminating everything in its stark glare: Violet’s flushed face, her parted lips, her dilated pupils, his hand still up her top, a fairly impressive erection tenting the front of his trousers, and the raised eyebrows of their unwelcome guest– Mr Barney Snell.
It was immediately clear to Gus that there was no way of bluffing his way out of this one. He removed his hand from Violet’s bra and stood in front of her, aware that he’d left it a little late in the day to protect her modesty but keen to maintain some semblance of chivalry.
She was the one to speak first, both men seemingly incapable of verbalising their thoughts.
‘Mr Snell,’ she said, coolly brushing down the front of her top as if she had no idea as to how it had come to be up around her armpits. ‘If you’re looking for Mr Adoji’s notes, I think they are up at the nurses’ station.’
Barney’s eyebrows were still halfway up his forehead. ‘Of course,’ he said, playing along. ‘Silly of me to think they might be in the office.’ He stood to one side to let Violet pass.
‘Thank you,’ she said. Remarkably she managed to get out of the door without falling over anything and turned left to leave the ward without a backwards glance.
Gus caught the appraising look that Barney gave her as she walked off and his hands curled by his sides. He knew there was no point in saying anything.
‘She is quite the hot piece of ass,’ said Barney, his attention now returned to Gus. ‘I can absolutely see why you would.’
‘It’s not how it looks,’ Gus began through gritted teeth.
Barney tutted and shook his head. ‘It’s exactly how it looks, mate.’ He laughed. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve got nothing against a bit of slap and tickle in the workplace. I won’t say a word.’
Gus tried to stop his face from registering the combination of relief and irritation at Barney’s words. ‘Great,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’ He made to leave the room, knowing he had to reach Violet and check she was okay.
But Barney put a broad arm out across the doorframe to stop him.
‘I get it now,’ he said, his tone conversational.
‘Why you were all protective about her last night when we were in theatre. If I was banging her I’d have been the same.
’ He nodded agreeably. ‘But honestly, I just don’t get why you tried to dress it up as some women’s rights issue– acting all insulted when I implied that the female medics have their own way of climbing the greasy pole to success.
’ He inclined his head in the direction that Violet had just taken.
‘She knows exactly what she’s doing, that one,’ he said, lifting his arm to allow Gus through, making the power balance clear.
‘But just because it’s your greasy pole she’s climbing doesn’t make you the champion of female emancipation, my friend.
’ He clapped Gus on the shoulder a little harder than necessary.
‘If anything, it just makes you complicit in the whole charade.’