Chapter 39
CHAPTER 39
LUKE
I just can’t catch a break.
All I want is a moment alone with Jessy, but fate is conspiring against me. As I hand out mulled wine while Morgana follows with mince pies, I’m reminded what a charade my life is. This whole scene is staged, much like my life, and it doesn’t sit well with me exploiting good people to do the devil’s work.
I fully consider reality TV the devil’s work because if there is any actual ‘real’ at all in the title, it’s the fact the ‘real’ is misspelled and meant to be ‘reel’. It reels in the viewers to believe other people actually live like this. That they have the perfect lives, making the viewers’ ones appear dull in comparison without realising the whole thing is staged.
Morgana laughs at something the villager is saying and yet despite my mood, I raise a smile. I love her so much, but more as a sister than anything. It was easy to agree to further her career while protecting mine, but now I want one person to know the truth and my fake life is stopping me from doing that.
An interminable age passes before the villagers decide to head home and leave us to clear up and for once I’m thankful for the production crew who take everything in their stride. Since they arrived, they have worked tirelessly to transform Granthaven Manor and its grounds into a scene from a Christmas movie.
They even deposited fake snow near the lake where I have shot endless scenes with Morgana as we walk hand in hand around it, stealing kisses and expressing how much we already love the place to the cameras thrust in our faces at all times.
We are recreating the magic of Christmas and weaving an impossible dream. I have no doubt this show will be a success because of all the ingredients set in place. Perfection comes at a price many can’t afford to pay and must settle for watching other people live the dream instead.
But are they? I’m still to be convinced of that.
I keep my eyes sharpened on Jessy because if she tries to slip away, I will prove why I am paid so much and sprint after her, my training having reaped huge rewards as I attempt to get back in shape while sifting through my problems.
As soon as her family make to leave, I head over and say casually, “Jessy, I’m sorry to ask, but I could use a word about the business plan.”
“What now?” her mother raises her eyes. “But it’s nine o’clock – at night.” She exclaims and her father says in a deep voice, “Prosperity never sleeps, Portia. That’s why men like Luke are successful.”
Portia nods, seemingly accepting his explanation, and turns to me.
“Well, if you could make sure she gets home, okay. I expect Wilf will be out searching for his Christmas dinner and I don’t want that to be my daughter.”
“His Christmas dinner?”
I’m confused and Jessy laughs softly. “Anything that moves, flies, or walks. Rabbits mainly, but they are probably safely tucked up in their burrows. I doubt he will be successful anyway and will resort to his neighbour dropping off turkey with all the trimmings on Christmas day instead.”
“That’s kind of her.”
Portia smiles. “It’s what we do, Luke. We care for our own and make sure everyone is okay and not on their own, especially at Christmas. Wilf prefers his own company but is still one of us and an extra meal is not a lot to give, but he appreciates the kindness.”
“It’s a special place.” I concede as I look around me and register the happy laughter of the villagers as they head off into the night sky, their phones lighting their way once they return the lanterns to the crew.
I don’t believe I have even met my neighbours in Cheshire. I think Morgana has, but I keep away from any social interaction if I can help it, preferring instead to train and spend time with the team rather than anyone not connected to football.
I love how Jessy’s parents hug her tightly before they leave, issuing instructions not to be long and to make sure the door is locked behind her when she returns and I picture my parents far away in Florida, not even calling to check I’m okay.
They have always been like that, accepting that my life is football and from an early age I was sent to live with another family close to the academy while they carried on travelling without the burden of looking after me.
Morgana and Steven are my family now, and even that is a contrived one. We love one another but lie to protect our own interests and I am not prepared to do that anymore.
I want to start again.
To discover who Luke Adams really is and to share my life with somebody who loves me and not for what I can give them. Team Adams if you like. Two people who love one another and work together to make life meaningful. To raise a family and cultivate the next generation with love and kindness and a whole lot of fun.
As Jessy watches her parents leave, I picture her as the woman of my dreams, by my side forever. It feels good, right even, and strengthens my resolve. It’s time to put my needs first for once and go and get my girl.
The commotion inside the manor reminds me we aren’t alone, and I turn to Jessy and sigh heavily.
“We should head somewhere quieter.”
“Okay?”
I can tell she’s nervous and I suppose it was a strange request, but I couldn’t let another night pass by without coming clean to Jessy and telling her exactly what’s on my mind.
We head to the room I’ve been using to train in. It’s the one nearest the swimming pool, if you could call it that. I wouldn’t actually jump in that water if I was on fire because it’s unheated and has a green tinge to it. It’s just another thing that requires money thrown at it and I am still undecided if it will be my money that saves this place. I have a perfectly good swimming pool at home in my mansion, heated to the perfect temperature, with comfy loungers set around it. I don’t need another one, although technically I already do because back at home I enjoy the luxury of an indoor and an outdoor pool.
“I hope the evening was a success.” Jessy says with laughter in her voice and I resist the urge to hold her hand as we head towards the other end of the house.
“It will be.” I assure her. “Jasper will dub over the frankly excruciating singing and when you watch it back, it will resemble the scene from a movie. There will be no wailing and notes out of tune, just smiling faces enjoying the magic of Christmas.”
“That’s sad.” She shakes her head.
“Why? Isn’t that what everyone wants to see?”
“Not really.” She shrugs. “People love to see failure. They laugh at the things that don’t go according to plan because it’s real. Social media is awash with people staging things that go wrong because it raises a laugh and gets the most views. If anything, it makes people feel better about their lives by reminding them that everyone makes mistakes. It’s an acceptable form of madness and far more entertaining than watching someone getting everything right.”
She laughs softly. “What is perfection, Luke? It’s kind of boring, don’t you agree?”
“I do.”
We reach the makeshift gym and her eyes widen when she sees the room I spend most of my day in.
“Why here?”
“Because it’s private and my personal space away from the madness. The only other place in this house is my bedroom, and I’m sure you agree that wouldn’t be appropriate.”
Her face blushes red and I groan inside because being around Jessy is the sweetest form of torture. When you want something you can’t have so badly, it becomes the most important thing in your life and I want Jessy Potter more than I want to return to the game. She has become the game and I intend on winning and so I nod towards one of the bench presses.
“Sit with me, Jessy.”
She appears nervous and I say with determination.
“There is something you should know.”
As she sits gingerly beside me, I can tell she’s nervous and for some reason so am I. I’m not sure how she will react to what I’m about to say and if I’m honest, I probably shouldn’t be about to open Pandora’s box, anyway.