Chapter 2 #2
The music only lasted a few seconds longer before his guitar and voice trailed off and the room erupted into cheers.
I caught movement from him, which was probably the singer taking a drink, so I used the opportunity to slide up to the corner of the bar and smile at the blonde woman who was punching something angrily into her computer.
“If you’re here to ask how long your drink is going to be—” she began.
“No, uh…I got sent from the kebab shop,” I said.
She rolled her eyes, and as she turned toward me, I could see massive amounts of glitter smeared over her eyelids. “Seriously? Is Hasan fucking kidding me with this?”
Hasan must be the guy who owned the shop.
I shot her an apologetic grimace. “I’m really sorry. I’m on duty right now, and my partner is going to murder me if I don’t bring her a Diet Coke.”
Her eyes narrowed angrily. “Cop?”
I held up my hands in surrender. I got that a lot these days, and considering the state of the country, I didn’t blame her. “EMT. I’m just trying to keep her awake for the inevitable bullshit on the roads once the parties end.”
She sighed and sagged forward. “Okay, that’s fair. Give me two seconds, babe.” Then she was gone, and I leaned against the bar, tapping my fingers and praying that my radio didn’t go off while I was waiting.
My gaze strayed back to the guy onstage, and eventually, I gave up and pulled my glasses out of my pocket.
I’d been storing them to avoid the film that was fucking impossible to get off during snow season after the city salted the streets, and Gracie was always the driver, so no one was at risk of me succumbing to the glowing trails of my astigmatism.
When the room became clear, I blinked at the starburst of lights on the stage, then focused on the singer. He was…well, fuck, he was gorgeous. He had wavy black hair and a button nose, full lips, and a five-o’clock shadow that seemed more neglect than him trying to look rugged.
He was wearing a sweater that went all the way down to cover his palms, only his fingers sticking out over his pick and guitar strings.
And he looked…well, he looked sad. Not that I was the best at reading emotions on strangers’ faces, but something about him said this was not a good night. That this show was not something he wanted to do.
Or maybe he did, but not because he was full of New Year’s joy.
“Play ‘Backstabber’!” someone called.
“Play ‘Over Your Moon’!” another person shouted.
That last one had the poor bastard wincing. He swallowed, then leaned in toward his mic. “Will you forgive me if I avoid some of those songs tonight?”
“So it’s true! Did he…is there…are you guys really over…!” A cacophony of voices rang out, questions piling on top of other questions.
The guy onstage—what did Hasan say his name was? Ambrose? No…fuck. I took a breath and heard Hasan’s voice in my head. Atlas. It was a hard name to forget once I said it a few times to myself.
Definitely more interesting and unique than Ryan.
Atlas glanced to the side, drawing his fingers down around his mouth, then he shrugged and said, “Shit happens, but we’re not here to talk about that. And this next song is untitled, but I think that might be a good name for it.”
He began to strum his guitar, and the sound rippled up my spine. It was gorgeous. And then he began to sing. His lyrics were about constellations and the endless universe and feeling insignificant when looking up at the stars.
“And when you saw me, I was nothing, in your eyes. And when I saw you, you were everything I could not deny. But it was all an illusion, lost in the arm of the galaxy crossing the mid…night…sky. I was wrong, I was right. Desperate days, darker nights. I wanted you. I needed you. But I was nothing in your eyes.”
My chest ached, and my throat went a little hot.
How was that so fucking powerful? There were no words. His voice was strange, like a man born in the wrong decade trying to make himself heard. I closed my eyes and swayed, lost to the sound until I felt a tap on my arm.
“I got you two.”
Oh. That was Alice with the Diet Coke.
I turned and smiled at her, curling my fingers around the cups. “Thanks. How much?”
“On the house. Just promise me you’ll save some lives, babe,” she said with a wink.
She started to turn away, but I knocked my fingers on the bar and dug into my pocket for the five I had left in there and pushed it toward her. “This guy? You know him?”
Her gaze cut to the stage, and she sighed. “We went to school together.”
“He’s famous?”
“Whatever the fuck fame means these days,” she said quietly. “He started a band with his boyfriend in college. The guy was an absolute fucking narcissist. I’m talking textbook, you know?”
I did know the type. I’d dated a few in college, which was why, at thirty-two, I was still painfully single.
“Raleigh was always getting caught fucking around on Atlas. I don’t know what happened, but a few weeks ago, it all crashed and burned. Atlas left the tour and agreed to play here tonight. Sucks to have all these people being dicks, but the money’s amazing.”
I realized she wasn’t just the bartender. She owned this place. “I hope you make a mint.”
She laughed, pitching her voice just barely over Atlas’s final verse. “Thanks, babe. Come back and see me, yeah?”
I nodded, though that was probably a lie. I had too much of my own shit going on. But Atlas’s voice followed me out the door. It haunted my steps, tormenting and taunting me with this feeling like I was on the wrong path. That I was betraying myself.
My heart was aching by the time I got through the snow and back to the ambulance, and I knew right then something had to give.
Gracie was chomping down on falafel while glaring at me as I slid into my seat. “I thought you died or something. You were gone forever, and I was without caffeine!”
“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, handing her both cups. “Their machine was down.”
“You’re fucking lucky he was hot and that he asked for my number.”
I stared at her, then rolled my eyes. “Whatever makes you happy.”
“Happy work wife, happy life,” she said with a sniff, then took down half the first Diet Coke in one go.
I leaned back, feeling an ache in my chest, wishing I could still hear the music Atlas had been playing.
There was something so profoundly touching about it.
It was sad, but it was also a revelation.
It had nothing to do with me, and yet for that moment, it felt like he was singing directly to me. Like I was the only man in the bar. I hated that I had to leave, even though a man like that probably wouldn’t give me the time of day. But the fantasy stuck with me.
I pulled out my phone while Gracie began to bitch about being boxed in by the cars and the snow, and I nodded along while I looked Atlas up.
It didn’t take me long to find him and his band.
Tender Fracture, they were called. The most recent videos posted were of him and some tall, dark-haired guy leaving his last show before it began.
Rumors were posted all over Reddit that something big had gone down and Atlas left Tender Fracture for good.
Someone posted a long conspiracy theory about Atlas and some guy named Raleigh—the lead guitarist of the band, apparently. And, as I quickly learned, Atlas’s boyfriend. Though with the way he was singing tonight, maybe that was his ex?
Raleigh was infuriatingly good-looking, with piercing green eyes that were probably contacts and sweeping light brown hair in a style that made him look like he was chasing his youth.
In every photo, he was wearing a leather vest with no shirt or a deep V that showed off his nipples and chest tattoos.
He smirked, he didn’t smile. And there was a coldness in his eyes that made me feel wildly uncomfortable.
He didn’t seem to suit Atlas at all. I didn’t understand how a man like Atlas, who poured what seemed like half his soul into his songs, could fall for a guy like this. Not that I knew him, but my gut told me I wasn’t wrong, and I always trusted my gut, even if I didn’t always follow its advice.
“Hello? Are you ignoring me?” Gracie demanded, dragging me out of my head.
I dropped my phone in my lap and attempted a grin. I had no idea how long we’d been sitting there, but it felt like either minutes or hours. I cleared my throat. “I could never ignore you, my darling.”
“Good, because we have a call.”
I blinked at her. Shit. I missed it. “Where?”
Her gaze turned toward the crowd of cars in front of us, and she sighed. “Right here.”