Chapter 5 #2
God, I sounded like I was losing my mind, pining after a total stranger I’d spent less than an hour with. He was no different from any of the other patients I’d saved after terrible accidents, but something about him felt different.
So yeah, an island vacation was starting to sound pretty good right now because I needed to get over this. To get over him.
Hell, maybe I could meet someone—another lonely, sad single trying to reclaim some sense of joy during a solo holiday.
I would settle for a few perfect days where real life didn’t creep in to ruin everything.
My fingers navigated across my laptop’s trackpad, and the next thing I knew, I was clicking the button to book the hotel. Pierce Island only had two, so I picked the one my parents always stayed at when I was a kid, and I felt a little rush of triumph in my chest.
Next came the train ticket to Savannah and the hotel to stay overnight so I could be ready to board the ferry at dawn.
Finally, I booked the ferry ticket—first class, because why not. It wasn’t like I had anyone else to spoil besides myself.
The money exited my bank account, and I allowed myself one single, solitary wince before telling myself that I deserved this. I’d earned it. And if it turned out to be a shit show, well, at least there wouldn’t be anyone there to witness.
“So you’re telling me you’re going to an island full of holiday rejects—”
“Gracie,” Hasan said, offering me a look of gut-wrenching pity as he set a plate in front of me.
His falafel taco, he called it, which was pretty much just a falafel-stuffed pita with tomato and cucumber salad on top.
His Mediterranean pico de gallo, he claimed, in honor of Graciela’s Mexican heritage.
I wasn’t about to correct him on his not-quite fusion cuisine. “Don’t be mean.”
I offered him a small smile. “It’s fine. It’s going to be a bunch of WASP families and then me, and hopefully at least one other man who likes to fuck other men and finds me attractive.”
Hasan gave me a slow up-and-down look before he sat next to his fiancée. “You’re very good-looking.”
“Thank you,” I said, then stuffed half the pita into my mouth and began to chew.
Gracie scoffed. “I’m tired of you playing favorites, mi amor. Ryan needs a reality check.”
“He needs support, habibti. Look at him. He’s got anxiety.”
“Thanks, guys,” I said, mouth still full.
“Look, the truth is, if there is another lonely, sad sack of shit on the island, he’s probably a psychopath, and your body’s going to turn up floating somewhere in the Atlantic.”
“Then I’ll feed the sharks. It’s not a terrible way to go,” I told her.
“Very eco-friendly,” Hasan agreed, and she scowled at him.
I grinned. “Thank you, Hasan. Anyway, maybe he’ll be a psychopath taking a break from his serial killing, looking for long romantic walks by the water.”
“And you want to put your dick in that?” she demanded.
I shrugged. “At this point…”
“No, that’s enough,” Hasan cut in. “I’m sure there will be some very nice men for you to choose from. Don’t panic and let her get into your head. She’s been listening to too many true crime podcasts.”
Gracie was unrepentant. “You’re my best friend, Ryan. You’re not allowed to die.”
“I’m not going to die. I’m going to hopefully get laid, and if I don’t get laid, I’ll at least get some peace and quiet by the beach.”
She groaned and sagged in her chair, crossing her arms. “I want to relax by the beach. Why do I have to work?”
“Because you want to go to Morocco on our honeymoon. And you want to go to Egypt to do the Nile River cruise.”
She sniffed. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll go work my terrible job and save people while Ryan’s sitting on a beach, sipping mai tais with Dexter.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t say no to him,” I confessed.
She flipped me off but softened when Hasan leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. “Promise me you’ll try to have fun. And, you know, do something other than obsess about how horrible your family is.”
“Trust me, that’s the plan.” I wasn’t about to tell her that I was going to obsess about Atlas instead because the last time I’d brought him up, she threatened an intervention. It would be literally her and Hasan, but it still sounded like no fun, so I promised to stop.
That was a lie, but she didn’t need to know that.
Luckily, the conversation turned back to wedding stuff, so I was able to eat, nod along, and listen to the crackling static in my brain until Gracie packed her wedding iPad into her bag and kissed my cheek goodbye.
“Promise me this is going to be good for you.”
“I promise that this is going to be different for me, which is—considering how my life has been going—very good.”
Rolling her eyes, she kissed my other cheek, and then Hasan did the same, squeezing my shoulders as he pulled away.
“I know it’s been a rough year. I know your family—” He stopped at my involuntary wince.
Taking a breath, he nodded like he was giving himself an internal pep talk.
“I know how it is to have complicated family. They’ve never liked my choices, but I wouldn’t be where I am today with Gracie if I hadn’t.
And I wouldn’t have had you as a best friend. ”
My eyes got a little hot. I really liked Hasan.
I hadn’t realized I was his best friend, and now I kind of felt like an ass because I told people I didn’t have one.
“I don’t regret cutting them off. I regret waiting so long to do it.
I regret putting myself on hold for so many years to keep the peace because it wasn’t actually peaceful at all. ”
He kissed my other cheek. “I have a good feeling about that week.”
I didn’t. I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling, but I was ready to get on a plane to Savannah.
I was ready to wake up at dawn and watch the sea-green waters of the Atlantic turn blue as the warmer waters gave way to the tropics.
I was ready to embrace joy—even if it was only going to be for a little while.
And maybe, if I was very lucky, when I got back home, I’d be able to put all of my obsessions to bed.