Chapter 13
Thirteen
ATLAS
As exhausted as I was, I didn’t sleep, which meant my body was less than cooperative in the morning when I tried to roll out of bed.
All of my joints were stiff, and my legs were heavy and on the verge of numb.
Tension always made it worse, and the cluster anxiety attacks I had after Tollin and Tarik fucked off to their rooms were telling.
I knew the talk with my brother wasn’t going to be good, and that pissed me off even more.
“You look upset,” Ryan said as he sat up and scrubbed his hands down his face.
I sighed. “I don’t want to deal with my brother today.”
There was a tiny look of mischief in his eyes when he leaned down and said, “Want to run away from home? Pack lunch boxes and go live in a tunnel somewhere?”
I stared, then burst into laughter and dragged him on top of me, kissing him soundly. His mouth tasted like ass, and mine wasn’t much better. But the kiss was still perfect. “Okay. Do you know any tunnels around here?”
“There are a couple rock formations that have some caves. But they tend to flood during high tide.”
I dragged a touch up his thigh. “We could go be mermaids.”
“You would look so hot with a tail and two dicks.”
My tongue felt like it was trying to choke me as Ryan rolled on top of me and straddled my thighs. “Two dicks?”
“Yeah. I’m guessing you don’t do a lot of shifter porn when you jerk off.”
“Uh…no. But we’re definitely putting that on the list of things to show me when we aren’t being invaded by my family.”
Ryan grinned down at me sharply, rocking his hips over me. His smile didn’t last. “Am I…is this bad?”
“Bad? What do you—oh.” Shame hit me. “I, uh…I don’t think I can get hard today. I have some Viagra,” I told him quickly. “I have it for struggle days. But by the time it kicks in, my brother will be expecting us.”
He looked down at me, eyes half-lidded. “Was it from yesterday? Were we too enthusiastic?”
I snorted and tugged him down into another kiss. “Not even a little bit. It’s the stress and tension. I have walking paraplegia, so there are going to be days when my body doesn’t do what I want it to.”
He dragged a touch over my chest. “What would you like from me on days like this?”
“Let me make you feel good,” I told him.
His eyes darted to the side. “Oh—uh. Well…” He gasped when I cupped his dick. He was almost all the way hard and thrust against me when I palmed him. “Are you sure? I—uhg. I don’t…I mean…fuck, I can’t think.”
I stopped playing with him. “Sorry.”
His eyes narrowed. “You so aren’t.”
I couldn’t help a small laugh. “What did you want to say?”
He let out a slightly shaky breath, and I could tell he was trying not to squirm. “I want it to be fair between us.”
I felt white-hot desire rushing through me. Fuck, he was so…much. But in the best way. “Being able to make you feel good seems pretty fair to me. And you can return the favor,” I added when he sucked in a breath to argue with me, “as soon as I’m feeling better.”
He swallowed heavily. “Okay. How do you want me?”
I stared for a long beat, then shuffled down a little further on the bed and gave my chest a pat. “Right here. I want you to fuck my face.”
He groaned loudly, his head falling forward, nails digging into my pecs. Rocking his dick against me for a long, indulgent moment, he finally went up on his knees and shuffled higher. Higher until I could wrap around his waist and hold him by the ass.
Reaching down, he pushed the slit of his pajama pants to the side, his dick popping free. It smacked me in the lips, and I pursed them, giving the head a kiss as it dribbled precome.
“Fuck,” he gasped. “I’ve never…this is…” He swallowed thickly. “This is new for me.”
“I love that I can be your first for something,” I murmured. I laid my fingers against his cock and dragged my thumb up the shaft, up and down until he started moaning.
“You’re my first for a lot of things,” he whispered, almost like the words were a secret.
I had so much to say—so many things I wanted to ask. Instead, I opened my mouth, then gently guided the head of his cock past my lips. With a soft moan, he thrust gently past my teeth, along my tongue, stopping just short of my throat.
Humming, I urged him deeper. He hesitated but then thrust a little harder. A little deeper. My eyes watered as I swallowed him down, sucking hard, guiding his hips with my hands.
“God, god. Atlas,” he gasped. He spoke my name in two very distinct syllables—At-Las. I swallowed again, and his hips picked up speed.
Groaning, I felt desire stirring in my body. It was nowhere near my limp cock, but warmth pooled in my chest, my nipples tingling from the friction from his thighs, a sort of soul-deep pleasure rushing through me at knowing that I was taking him apart, bit by bit.
His eyes were closed for a moment, but as his dick thickened, they flew open and held mine. “Oh, fuck. You are so good at this. So good at taking me. I’m…I’m going to…”
I nodded, sucking harder, digging my fingers into the fleshy globes of his ass. Fuck, when he talked to me like that, it was like a tiny orgasm under my skin. The praise he gave me was so honest, so raw, so genuine. I never wanted him to stop talking.
With a single breath, he lifted his hips slightly and began to fuck my mouth in earnest. His dick hit the back of my tongue hard, but I took it. I sucked air in through my nose, and when he pushed in all the way, I held him.
He gave a single tremor, then let out his breath on the edge of a sob as his cock twitched, and then he came. It was heavy and salty and thick as I took it all down. The taste of him was overwhelming. When I breathed in, it was all him.
All Ryan.
I was barely aware when he pulled out, but everything narrowed down to the places he was touching me as he slid down my body, following with a rough, desperate kiss to my waiting mouth.
“You are such a fucking good boy,” he murmured, making my skin heat. “I think I’m…well…”
I understood. Those were forbidden words neither of us had any business thinking, let alone saying.
But they were real—hovering between us like a vicious taunt.
He was everything that I’d ever wanted, but he wasn’t mine.
And still, I was falling for him. I wasn’t sure if it was love, but it was certainly something.
“We should get dressed,” I eventually whispered.
He let out a small breath, then nodded and kissed my neck. “Do you need help with anything?”
“No. I have my crutches by the wall. I hope you don’t mind if I use them—”
“Atlas.” His stern tone made my words die on my tongue. I went silent, and he pulled back to look at me. “I will never mind anything you need to get through the day. Not ever.”
I had no idea how nervous I had been until I heard the honesty in his tone. And fuck, in a handful of days, how was I supposed to let him go?
We made it into the lobby, the restaurant entrance in sight, when I heard a voice scream, “Oh my god, Ryan!”
He froze before I did. We were walking close but not holding hands because I’d needed both crutches, and I resented that now more than ever. Ryan paled as he turned slowly, and I followed to see a woman with very dark hair wearing a flowing skirt with yellow flowers and a red top.
Trailing behind her was a man with thick, short black hair and a very well-groomed beard. He looked slightly embarrassed as she ran, her shoes clicking on the tile. She didn’t stop until she’d thrown herself into Ryan’s arms, and he caught her like he was expecting it.
A thousand thoughts ran through my head, but the loudest was a voice that sounded suspiciously like Raleigh.
“You’ve done it again. You’ve chosen a real fucking winner, haven’t you? This is probably his wife.”
Ryan didn’t look thrilled to see her, but he didn’t seem nervous either. He looked the way I’d felt last night when my brother and Tarik appeared.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Surprising you! We didn’t want you to be alone for the holidays when…” She stopped, her gaze catching mine for the first time. Her eyes went wide. “Oh my god, Atlas Amber.”
I hadn’t heard my shitty stage last name in a long, long time.
Ryan slapped his hand over his face as she slid out of his arms and backed up until she hit the bearded guy’s outstretched arm. “Gracie.”
He’d said that name before, but with the sound of her voice, it triggered a visceral memory of the accident.
“Gracie, honey, how we doing?”
“You were driving the ambulance,” I blurted.
Her grin melted into something softer. “Yeah. Oh my god, I can’t believe he found you. Ryan! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know he was going to be here,” he hissed. “This was unexpected.”
“It’s fate!” she cried. She took a step toward me like she was going to hug me, and I stiffened. Her—partner? Husband?—pulled her back at the last second.
It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy hugs, but I’d had a lifetime of fans touching me without my consent, and having nearly a full year without that happening had been nice. And with my legs feeling unstable today, I didn’t want it.
I wasn’t in the mood to fall in front of a lobby of strangers.
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, taking the man’s hand. “It’s just…I’m so glad you’re okay. And that you two found each other. He hasn’t shut up about you since that night.”
Ryan let out a breath, then managed a smile that looked closer to a grimace. “Gracie, Hasan, this is Atlas. Atlas, this is Gracie, my former partner—”
“Excuse you, best friend!”
“—and her fiancé, my best friend.”
She looked outraged while Hasan covered a laugh. “You’re demoted from man of honor.”
Ryan shrugged. “I can live with it. That’s what you get for stalking me on my vacation.”
I bit my lip. First, my brother and best friend, now this? It was either a sign we had no business being together, or…
“Are you going to breakfast?” Gracie asked. “We can talk about it then.”
“We’re meeting some people,” he said.
“Ooh. Famous people?” Gracie asked, darting a glance at me.