Chapter 9
Nine
Mya
My knees were sore, my wrists tingled from the cuffs, and my heart was beating rapidly after that. My skin was flushed, my chest rising and falling as I tried to slow my breathing. Nick’s hands were the first thing to find me. They were so gentle after everything we’d just been through.
He rubbed soft circles where the restraints had been. He pressed his forehead to mine for a second. “You okay, Sunshine?”
I nodded, unable to find my voice yet. My body was jelly, my thoughts even worse. But I wasn’t scared. Not even a little. I felt… held.
He wrapped a blanket around me and went to the corner of the room for a bottle of water and wipes. It felt like protocol but also like care.
“I’m gonna clean you up a bit,” he said, kneeling in front of me. “Then we’ll go home, yeah?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded again. He didn’t say he was taking me home or that he’d take me to his house. He worded it like he was taking me to our home, and that was probably wishful thinking and some fucked-up subspace or something.
He moved slowly, checking in with every touch. Using warm cloths to wipe sweat and slick from my skin, wrapping the blanket tighter around me when I shivered. He dabbed soothing lotion onto the marks he’d left. On my thighs, my sides, my ass.
“This is good for muscles. You’re gonna be sore.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Nick smiled, but it was the soft kind, the one I was learning meant his heart was way too close to the surface.
Once I was dressed again, he helped me stand, still wrapped in the blanket like a human burrito. I leaned against him as we walked out, cheek to his chest, his arm banded around my waist.
I felt his breath at the top of my head. “Let’s go home.”
* * *
I didn’t remember the ride home.
One minute, I was floating in the soft aftermath of everything… The club lights, his voice, the way my body had gone pliant under his hands. The next, I was on Nick’s couch, his hoodie draped over my shoulders, my legs pulled into his lap like they belonged there.
I was warm, but also… trembling a little. Everything was quiet. Too quiet.
His house always smelled like cedar and something earthy, but now there was also the lingering trace of leather and sweat, and him. Master. The word still echoed inside me.
He rubbed my calves in slow, grounding strokes, and his voice broke through the fog. “You still with me, Sunshine?”
I nodded, but barely. My mouth felt dry, and my body buzzed with a strange ache. Not painful, just… sensitive. Open.
“I’m here,” I said, barely more than a whisper.
Nick leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair from my face. “You did so good for me tonight. You gave me everything. I’m so proud of you.”
Those words hit harder than anything else. I blinked rapidly, but the tears still came, slipping sideways onto the cushion.
His arms wrapped around me before I could even feel embarrassed. “Shh, baby. Let it happen. That’s just the drop starting. It’s okay.”
I didn’t fight it. I let my head fall against his shoulder as the tears came soft and silent, my chest shaking even though I wasn’t sobbing. It wasn’t sadness… Not really. There was too much space inside me and not enough at the same time.
He rocked me slightly, his thumb tracing circles on my back. “Your nervous system’s just resetting,” he murmured. “You gave over so much control. It takes a while to come back to yourself. I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of you.”
I didn’t want to move, but I was starting to notice the sting on my skin now. The heat along my thighs and the marks across my hips and wrists where the cuffs had pressed.
Nick must’ve noticed the way I shifted. “Sore?”
“A little,” I admitted. “But not bad.”
“Stay still. I’ve got some different cream.” He disappeared down the hall and came back with a small jar. He unscrewed it, dipped two fingers inside, and the scent of lavender and something medicinal filled the air.
“This will soothe the sting.” He pushed the hoodie off my shoulders and helped me lie on my side with my legs draped over his thighs.
Every touch was soothing. His fingers worked the lotion into my skin, slow and gentle, especially where I’d reddened.
He took his time like he actually cared about me.
I closed my eyes. It was intimacy without pressure. The kind that made you feel wanted without having to prove anything.
“Are you still scared?” I asked quietly, surprising even myself.
He didn’t answer right away. His hand stilled over my ribs. “Yes,” he said. “But not of you. Not of this.”
“Then what?”
“That I’ll mess it up. That I’ll need too much and ask for too much. That someone will give me all of themselves… and regret it after.”
I turned my head, looking up at him. “I don’t regret anything,” I said. “Not with you.”
“I’m still learning how to take care of people,” he said, quieter now. “And how to let them take care of me.”
“You’re doing fine.” I sat up slowly, my body sore and liquid all at once, and pressed a kiss to his jaw. His hand slid to the back of my neck and held me there for a beat, forehead resting against mine.
“Color check?” he asked.
“Still green,” I said. “Just… happier now.”
He smiled, and it was real. “Good. Will you stay with me tonight?”
“Yes.” I answered without another thought.
He didn’t need to ask twice. I wasn’t sure I could be anywhere else right now, not after everything I’d let go of. He lifted me off the couch like I weighed nothing and carried me to his bed, set me down gently, and tucked the covers around me like I was made of glass.
When he slid in beside me, I rolled into him. His arms came around me like they’d always known how. And for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn’t feel raw or broken or too much. I just felt like my true self.
* * *
The morning light was soft, barely a glow through the blackout curtains, but I was already awake.
Nick’s bed was surprisingly comfortable. Or maybe it was just him. His body was warm behind me, arm slung over my waist, breath slow against my neck. I could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, and for once, my mind wasn’t racing. It was quiet and calm. Everything felt fucking perfect.
Everything he did to me last night just showed how much he did care.
Yes, the scene was intense, but the way he handled me after?
The way he took care of me. How he was so gentle with me.
He wasn’t just in a scene with another sub.
He was there with me. Mentally and physically.
That wasn’t about him running away from drinking.
It was about being there with me. He held me like I was breakable, even though I’d just let him unravel me completely. And now… here we were.
I shifted slightly and felt his hand tighten, pulling me back into him.
“Mmm,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep. “Don’t move.”
I smiled. “You’re awake.”
“Barely.” He kissed the back of my shoulder, then stayed there a moment like he didn’t want the world to come rushing in yet. “You okay?”
“I’m good,” I whispered.
His fingers slid under the hem of the blanket, resting over my stomach. “Last night… I didn’t go too far?”
“No,” I said quickly, rolling to face him. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were heavy with sleep, but the concern there was real. “You gave me everything I needed. I feel… calm.”
He smiled, soft and almost shy. “Good.”
We lay there like that for a while, not quite ready to let the day in. I traced lazy circles on his chest, and he watched me like he was memorizing every blink, every breath.
Eventually, though, life crept back in. His phone buzzed somewhere in the room. He groaned.
“Let it die,” I teased.
“Wish I could. But if I ignore that many texts, Tyler will drive over and bang on the door like a maniac.”
“Tyler?”
“My brother. One of four.”
“You have four brothers?”
“Yep,” he sighed.
“Oh God, your mother!”
“Why is it always ‘your mother’ and not, oh, poor you?” He laughed.
“Because you were probably out causing shit with each brother. And there’s five of you!”
“True.” He shrugged.
“Do they text you this early all the time?”
He sat up slowly, rubbing a hand down his face. “Only when it involves something important, but it’s probably about Ben.”
I tilted my head. “Which one is he?”
“He’s the youngest. He plays college hockey and has a game tonight.”
I smiled. “You’re going?”
He nodded, stretching. “Yeah, figured I’d go support him. He gets weirdly competitive when we’re there. Thinks it helps him win if the ‘whole damn Brady Bunch’ shows up to cheer him on.”
I grinned. “Are you going to yell embarrassing things from the stands?”
“Only if he misses a shot.” He smirked, then turned toward me, his voice softer now. “You wanna come?”
“To the game?” I blinked.
He looked suddenly unsure of himself, which was rare for him. “I mean… yeah. With me. If you want. No pressure.”
My heart did a little somersault. The casual offer wasn’t so casual. It was an invitation into his world. “I’d love to,” I said. “Sounds fun.”
His smile returned, a little crooked, a little proud. “Good. I’ll grab an extra seat.” He paused, then cleared his throat. “But, uh… heads–up.”
Oh no. “What kind of heads-up?” I asked slowly.
He winced a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Everyone’s going. I mean… all of them.”
“All of them?”
“My brothers. Their girlfriends. My mom and dad.”
“So you’re telling me I’m meeting your entire family tonight?” I stared at him with wide eyes.
He held both hands up like he was trying to calm an explosion. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that! I didn’t mean to just throw you into the lion’s den. I honestly forgot until I saw the texts.”
I laughed, despite the wave of nerves hitting me. “That’s kind of a huge thing to forget.”
“I know, I know.” He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly nervous. “You don’t have to come. I don’t want you to feel cornered.”
“No,” I said before I could overthink it. “It’s okay. I’ll come.”