Chapter 9 #3
“You know,” she said, leaning her arms on the rail, “when I first came into their lives, I was technically unconscious.”
I turned to her, wide-eyed. “Right. Nick told me. The car accident.”
She smiled faintly. “Yeah. Not the ideal way to meet your future boyfriend. I came in through the ICU and never really left.”
“Do you… ever feel like you don’t belong? Like they have this whole rhythm, and you’re just kind of trying to keep up?”
Lilly was quiet for a second. “Sometimes. I think we all do, in our own ways. Even Nick.”
That surprised me. “Nick?”
“He’s close with all of them, sure. But he also keeps himself a little removed. Like there’s still some part of him that doesn’t believe he’s allowed to be happy. Or… clean.”
I nodded slowly, heart thudding. “He told me he almost drank a few days ago.”
“Did he tell you I was there?”
“He did.”
She looked at me then, a little sharper, like she was searching for something in my expression. “Nick has never once talked about a girl before. But he mentioned you that day. You were the true reason he walked away
I swallowed hard. “We had one really good night together. You know in movies where you meet a stranger and stay up all night, talking and walking… that’s what happened. But we weren’t supposed to see each other again. Until I went to get a tattoo, and he happened to be the one doing it.”
“He’s different around you.”
I bit into the inside of my cheek. “He scares me sometimes.”
“Why?” She tilted her head.
“Because I think I could fall for him really fast. And that’s terrifying. My brain doesn’t do gentle. It does obsession and panic and overanalyzing. I either care too much or not at all, and with Nick, it’s like… I already care too much.”
Lilly’s voice softened again. “That’s not a bad thing, Mya. You just need someone who doesn’t run from it.”
I looked down at my shoes, a little overwhelmed. “What if I mess it up?”
“You will,” she said gently. “So will he. But if it’s real, it won’t matter. You’ll fight, you’ll fumble, but you’ll stay.”
The floodlights flickered overhead, and I realized my hands were shaking just slightly. Tiny tremors from too much stimulation and too many emotions compacted into one night. Lilly noticed. Without a word, she gently reached out and held my hand.
“You’re doing great,” she said quietly.
That was the thing I hadn’t realized I needed to hear until she said it.
Not “you’re perfect” or “you’re amazing.” Just, you’re doing great. Like I was allowed to be messy. Loud. Fidgety. Overwhelmed. And still be doing okay.
“Thanks for coming out here with me,” I said finally.
She smiled, squeezing my hand. “You’re part of the family now. We don’t let the new girls flounder alone. And I know that because Ava and Emma made me feel so welcomed. It was my turn, and when Ben finds someone… Well, you can have fun with that.”
I let out a laugh, lighter this time. “That’s dangerous. I’ll get attached.”
“Good,” she said. “So will they.”
We had just started heading back toward the main doors when a voice cut through the cool night air.
“What the hell, Harper? Seriously?”
Lilly’s eyes flicked toward the side parking lot, and I followed her gaze.
There stood Ben, sweaty from the game, still in half his gear, hair sticking up in every possible direction, and next to him, a tall girl in knee-high boots and a bright red not-Ben’s jersey.
“Who is that?” I whispered.
Lilly shrugged, lips twitching.
“You’re wearing Phillips’ jersey?” Ben looked personally offended. “He’s our rival, Harper. That’s like showing up to my funeral in a Bruins hoodie.”
Harper rolled her eyes. “Relax, Ben. It’s just a shirt, and last I checked, we weren’t together.”
“That isn’t the point. It’s that I invited you and you showed up wearing that,” he said dramatically, yanking off his knee pads and holding them like props in a bad soap opera.
I clapped a hand over my mouth to muffle my gasp.
Ben finally caught sight of us. His expression froze. “Oh God. How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” Lilly said dryly.
Ben groaned and dropped his forehead into his hands. “Kill me.”
Harper looked like she wanted to disappear.
I tilted my head at him. “If you want her to wear your jersey, maybe try being the guy worth rooting for.”
Ben gawked at me. Lilly snorted.
And before he could recover with some dumb retort, Lilly looped her arm through mine and tugged me toward the doors. We left him standing there, red-faced and speechless.
“Was that mean?” I asked, biting my lip.
Lilly grinned. “No. That was perfect.”
The sound of the crowd swelled as Lilly and I stepped through the doors, the arena lights washing over us again.
The buzz of leftover adrenaline hung thick in the air.
Beer, sweat, popcorn, and the remnants of a big win.
My brain jittered trying to hold it all, every voice, every flicker of motion in the crowd, and the sudden shift from the quiet parking lot to full sensory overload.
I tried to focus on the rhythm of my boots on the concrete floor.
On the way, Lilly’s arm was still casually linked through mine like she wasn’t almost a complete stranger still.
She slowed when she saw Nick and Sean, standing just off to the side of the rest of the family, half-shielded by a column.
Nick leaned back, one hand curled around a bottle of water, the other running through his hair like he was trying to calm down after something.
Sean had a hand on his shoulder, in that older-brother way.
“…you know she’s it for you,” Sean said, his voice low but firm.
Nick didn’t speak. Sean bumped his shoulder. “You don’t let someone like that walk away.” He winked, then, “Remember when you said that same thing to me about Lilly?”
My breath caught in my throat. Nick nodded once, slowly. Lilly gently let go of my arm, giving me a second to pull in air again.
I didn’t know what Nick said next, or if he said anything at all. But when his eyes lifted and found mine across the lobby, everything else fell away.
The noise dulled. The crowd blurred. My brain stilled for just a beat. He smiled. And it was different than before. It wasn’t guarded. It wasn’t teasing. It was like he was letting me see him fully.
And in that moment, I knew exactly what Sean meant. You don’t let someone like that walk away.