Chapter 21 Larissa
LARISSA
This place is amazing,” I said.
We were at a nice pool party in Edina. The house we’d walked through was huge and the whole backyard was transformed to a beach theme. They’d even hauled in sand and put two beach chairs on it for a photo op.
I’d worked catering jobs at events like this. Carried around appetizers and champagne on trays. I couldn’t believe I was actually a guest now.
“So explain to me who this is for again?” I said, looking up at Mike.
“My cousins. The Maddoxes. We all hung out with them growing up. This is my aunt Joy’s house.”
“Are Donna and Janessa coming?”
“These are cousins on my dad’s side.”
“Is he coming?” I asked.
“My dad? Not unless he took a flight from Maui. He sort of does his own thing.”
“Oh,” I said. “And who’s getting married?”
“Jane and Benny. I’ll introduce you in a bit.”
I scanned around. “Look, a dog. He’s missing a leg.”
“That’s Lieutenant Dan. Did you see the parrot? They have a parrot too.”
“They do?” I said, turning to him. “Does he talk?”
“He tells you to go fuck yourself.”
I laughed into the back of my hand as someone walked by with a tray of grilled pineapple.
My stomach growled. I was getting hungry.
I couldn’t eat anything here, though, because there were nuts all over the place.
There were even macadamias in the fruit punch.
The food looked really good. They had pulled-pork sliders and a chocolate fountain.
Maybe I could have some of the pork at least?
I bit my lip while I stared at the buffet table. Even the coleslaw had cashews in it. I deflated.
It wasn’t worth it, too risky.
I’d had a snack on the way over and Mike said we could go for a burger after, but that would be a few hours from now. Mike wasn’t eating in solidarity, which was nice of him. He’d come right from work, too, he was probably starving. I should have planned better.
“Mike, you should eat,” I said, watching his eyes follow a caterer bringing out a tray of tropical rice.
“Nah.”
“Eat, please. I feel bad.”
“If you can’t eat, I’m not eating.” He squeezed me. “Sorry, babe. I shoulda thought of something. We can leave early, okay?”
I nodded and he kissed the side of my head.
“I’ve been reading that book you and Chris had,” he said.
I pulled my face back. “You did? Which one?”
“The reality show thing.”
I beamed. “Mike…”
“I got, like, seventy pages in. It’s good.”
It wasn’t good, but I appreciated him trying to like the things I liked.
I tried to get involved in things he liked, too, but it was a little hard—mostly because I couldn’t go on six-mile runs with him or go mountain biking or any of the other extreme sports he was into.
He wanted to train me. I went once, but by the time I was done working for the day I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym, but I fully planned on cheering for him on the sidelines at the next race and maybe I could take a bike the next time he did the eleven-mile loop.
Pack a little picnic for us or something?
Mike and I didn’t have a lot of overlap in our hobbies. I wondered if he was beginning to notice. Maybe that’s why he picked up the book? Chris and I were reading a fantasy novel right now. Maybe I should tell Mike to read that instead, we could do a book club. Speaking of Chris…
“When is Chris coming?” I asked.
“He had to work,” he said. “Probably later.”
I had a surprise for him that I’d been planning since Mike told me about the party four weeks ago.
“I’m gonna go grab a water,” Mike said. “You want anything?”
“Um, I’ll have a soda.”
I watched him go. He was training for a triathlon so he wasn’t drinking right now. I was silently grateful.
He hadn’t touched a drink since the cabin weekend three and a half weeks ago. He was on a strict high-protein, no-sugar diet and working out constantly, doing the eleven-mile run around the park twice a week. And I was at his house. A lot. Mostly because I couldn’t stand to be at the apartment.
Phil never left. It had been almost a month.
Mom got him to pay rent, so at least there was that, but I hated being home now.
He was a permanent fixture in the living room.
He didn’t work and was always there. The apartment felt cluttered and dirty, and I still couldn’t get the smoke out of my clothes, even though she never did it again inside.
Becca took the space Mike left. “This is cute,” she said, nodding at my corsage.
I reached up to touch the clip in my hair. “Mike got it for me. He brought my mom flowers too.”
“Is she still seeing that guy?” she asked, eating the cherry off her mai tai.
“Yeah. It’s getting a little serious actually.”
“That fast?”
“Yes,” I muttered.
“Do you think they’ll move in together?” Becca asked.
“They already have,” I said. “With me.”
“Ewwww.” She made a face. “You moving in with Mike, then?”
“No. I don’t want to live in the guesthouse behind Donna’s place.”
“Why not?” she said, talking around her straw. “It’s a nice place.”
I blew a breath through my nose. A couple of reasons? Donna didn’t want Woofarine there for one. Mike let me bring him over anyway because if he didn’t on the days I had him, I wasn’t coming. But every time I did, I felt like she was going to say something.
Donna wasn’t as nice as I thought she was. The more time I spent at Mike’s, the colder she got. It wasn’t any one thing, just the energy that came off her. It wasn’t even enough for me to point out to Mike. I just got the sense she didn’t like me.
Becca and I were friends, but we weren’t close enough that I wanted to get into that with her. I didn’t really trust that she wouldn’t tell Jesse and then Jesse would tell Mike.
I did trust Chris that way though, which was kind of funny to say. I could tell Chris and I fully believed he would never say a word to anyone if I asked him not to.
I’d talked to Chris a lot lately. In fact, it felt like I talked to Chris more than Lexi and Mike.
It was mostly when we were swapping Woofarine.
It usually started with whatever book we were reading, but then it would move to something else.
Phil or my mom, or Bergmans or whatever we had going on.
We’d stand in the entry of whoever’s place it was for so long sometimes, it felt like we should sit, but we never did.
Just stood there, one of us holding the dog, catching up until one of us had to go.
We’d text each other book reactions or pictures of Woofarine.
I made him the chicken and dumplings soup he’d asked for when he got sick a few weeks ago and had Mike drop it off.
I think Mike really liked that we got along. I liked it too.
Mike’s friend group was like a family. I got the feeling if they didn’t like me, Mike and I wouldn’t have lasted long. But Samantha and Becca and the guys had all really embraced me.
I still hadn’t told Mike I loved him, but I could kind of see us being together in the long run. I could picture our own engagement party like this one day, everyone there. Chris would be the best man.
Chris would be the best man…
Huh.
Mike came back and handed me a red Solo cup of soda.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a sip. “Hey, can we stop and do a secret shop on the way home?”
“For what?” he asked.
“Fifteen dollars.”
He let out a laugh. “Babe, that won’t even cover the gas in my truck. I’ll just give you the fifteen bucks.”
“I don’t want you to give it to me. I want to make it. It’s on the way.”
He put an arm around me. “What you should be doing is moving in with me. Then you won’t have to work at all.”
I made a face. “Why wouldn’t I work?”
“Because I’ll take care of you.”
“Ha. That’s a nice offer, but no.”
He glanced down at me. “Are you serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I be serious?”
“I mean, that’s kind of my job, no? Pay the bills?”
Becca rolled her eyes. “Have you considered that maybe she’d like to have her own career, Mike? It’s not 1950.”
I edged out from under him. “I’m not doing what my mom did. I want my own income.”
“For what?” He chuckled. “What do you think is gonna happen, babe?”
“What happens all the time to women everywhere?” Becca said.
“You spend decades of your life raising kids and managing the house and then the man cheats or hits you or leaves you with small children and you’re left homeless and penniless without a way to support yourself?
I see it literally every day. There’s lots of ways to take care of someone that doesn’t involve financial control. Try again.”
I looked at Becca gratefully, glad that she said it so I didn’t have to.
I know Mike was well-intentioned, but I didn’t want a man to support me.
I wanted a man to empower me to support myself.
I didn’t want to make the choices Mom made.
I wasn’t going to be a worn-out woman standing in a sliding glass door chain smoking while the alcoholic on the couch pounded beers and flipped through channels on my TV.
I was going to have a way out that wasn’t the door I came in through.
“Working is what makes me feel safe. Okay?”
He put his hands up. “Okay, okay. If that’s what you want.” He pulled me back into a good-natured hug. “You didn’t have to bring your lawyer.” He winked at Becca. She rolled her eyes again but smiled this time.
The subject changed and the party went on. I didn’t bring up the secret shop again.
But neither did he.