Chapter 29 Larissa #2
“Donna and Janessa were talking about it.”
I drew in a slow breath. “It’s not a big deal. My mom is moving to South Dakota with her boyfriend.”
“They didn’t ask you to come?”
“They did. I’d rather sleep in my car.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “It’s that bad?”
“You have no idea. He’s dirty, lazy. I can’t even sit in my own living room when he’s there. Honestly them leaving is the best thing that could have happened. It’s forcing me to make decisions that I should have made a while ago.”
“Moving in with Mike though? You don’t want your own pad?”
I laughed dryly. “My credit is so bad I couldn’t even get places to reply to my applications.
If I live with Mike, I won’t have to pay rent.
I can finally start making a dent in these bills, get ahead for once, or take an actual day off where I don’t have to worry about financially drowning while I’m gone.
Plus, he’s been asking me to. He really wants it—it just makes sense at this point. ”
“If my sister didn’t need me to help her, I’d have moved in with you in a second. So, how’s the saving-up thing going?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Good. I got the credit card companies to waive half the debt.”
She brightened. “You did?”
“Yeah. Now I only owe fifteen thousand.” I rolled my eyes.
They were going to go after Dad for the rest. I was actually chipping away at the debt now.
In six months if I kept up the graze boards at the rate I was, I could pay them off.
I’d also gotten the ding against my credit removed, so I was recovering that now too.
I could be in a totally different place in half a year. Literally.
“When are you moving in?” she asked.
“Right before Christmas.”
She pressed her lips together. “This is either going to be really good or really bad.”
“His place is a million times better than the one I’m in. His mom has a gym and a pool. The neighborhood is nice.”
“Yeah, but you gotta live next to Donna and Janessa.” She made a face. “I don’t know, girl.”
“We’ve been together nine months, Lexi. I’m sleeping at his place half the week. It’s not even going to be that much different. He’s been begging me to move in for a while. And I didn’t tell you because I don’t need the lecture. We both know how you feel about me and Mike.”
“Okay,” she muttered. “Fair.”
She dropped it and I went back to my side work. But what she said earlier niggled at me.
If Mike wasn’t going to be a plumber, what was he going to do? Because if things worked out between us, if moving in together pushed our relationship to where I hoped it did, we’d eventually get married. Have kids. And I was not doing that in the house in Donna’s yard.
I wanted independence. I wanted a partner who wanted that too.
It was one thing to lean on family while you got your legs under you, while you saved, or paid off bills, or went to school—or waited to take over the family business that you said you were going to take over.
But if Mike wasn’t doing any of those things, then what was he doing?
Just… living at his mom’s? At thirty years old? Working fifteen hours a week?
I didn’t like this. At all. It reminded me too much of Dad. The way he was always barely employed, Mom having to be the breadwinner and us always struggling.
And there was another thing.
It wasn’t just Lexi I didn’t tell about moving in with Mike. I also hadn’t told Chris.
Part of my reasoning was I figured Mike would tell him, and I hadn’t seen Chris much lately. But it was more than that.
Talking about Mike with Chris just felt…
wrong. I couldn’t explain it. It just did.
We never talked about Mike. Ever. Maybe because they were best friends and I felt like Chris wouldn’t like to know something he might feel like he had to tell him?
Or maybe I wanted to respect Mike’s privacy and not talk about him to the person who’s closest to him.
Let him tell his best friend his own stuff, when he felt like it.
I just didn’t want to put Chris in a position.
He probably didn’t want to put me in a position.
We just wanted to keep our friendship compartmentalized. That’s all.
But it didn’t feel like that was all.
If I was being really honest with myself, I didn’t tell Chris for the same reason I didn’t tell Lexi. Because he’d be disappointed by it—which was absolutely ridiculous.
Why would Chris be disappointed if I moved in with my boyfriend, his best friend? He would be happy for us. Mike’s place was closer to his, so it would be easier to swap Woofarine. Chris would come over all the time—it was going to be amazing.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling I was doing something wrong. Making the wrong choice. I don’t know why. And I hadn’t told Lexi because I didn’t want her chiming in and reinforcing the uncertainty I was already grappling with.
If living with Mike didn’t work, I could find somewhere else. Moving in was the next step in our relationship, it made sense.
So why when I think of living with Mike do I only think of Chris?