Chapter 16 #2
Regret crested over her when she realised she’d been doing it the entire time and just hadn’t known. But I can’t help her without it.
What was worse? Reliving it for a few moments or remaining asleep forever, never finding new memories to replace those that were abhorrent and detestable? Carwyn didn’t think she’d be able to answer such a question if it was presented to her.
Her breathing finally eased, no longer shallow and panting, and exhaustion took over. I’ve never felt such cold. It barely snowed where she lived, only dropping a few snowflakes on the chilliest nights of winter.
Her eyes squinted with tiredness; she was surprised shivering and shaking could drain her of so much energy.
He... he smells nice.
She’d never been this close to him for such a prolonged length of time before. Had never been smothered in his scent, covered in it, bathed in it. It’s... subtle. Warm. Masculine. Earthy.
It was nice to breathe in. Soothing even.
She trailed one of her fingers down over his lower ribs. His scales are such conflicting textures. Their overall pattern was rough and sharp as a collective, but each one on its own was smooth. They feel nice.
And she was touching them directly, with her bare and ungloved hands, just like she’d been wanting to since she discovered she could without experiencing his emotions. Skin to scales, with no barrier.
Against her forehead, the lightest tapping resonated, and it drew her in. She probably shouldn’t – he probably hated it, or perhaps he didn’t even realise what she was doing – but she turned her face and pressed her ear against him.
Her eyes closed in tenderness. His heart sounds so large, so strong.
Feeling his scales against her hands and cheek as she took in the thumps through touch and sound... she realised she’d never experienced anything more calming and intimate than this moment.
A moment she’d always wanted to share with another person... although she’d longed to do it naked with them and properly intertwined.
A profound, yet confusing sensation overwhelmed Kier when the little female pressed her ear to his chest. He didn’t move, even when he had the urge to cover the tip of his snout when his face warmed.
Is she... listening to my heartbeat?
Why would she want to hear his heart, of all people? He was her captor and he’d been unkind to her. He was using her to free his sister from the entrapment of her mind, even though it brought danger to her.
He didn’t deserve such affection.
And blasted, why the hells did he like it? His damn face had even heated while his gut tightened. He worried she’d hear his heart pick up speed all of a sudden.
If she noticed the difference, she didn’t react.
He shouldn’t like it. She was his enemy – although he’d long stopped thinking of her in such a light. She wasn’t a dragoness; it shouldn’t stir something in him.
But the longer he lay there, unwilling to part from her even though she’d thoroughly warmed now, the more he noticed little intricate things about her.
Her soft heat, and how it was gentler than his own, like she’d constantly need warming.
The way her hair tickled his scales like a whispering caress, while her eyelashes twitched against him like the fuzzy wings of a moth.
How tiny and fragile her heartbeat was as it fluttered in his ears and against him, so easily destroyed.
She had no chest plates or scales to protect it, like she needed something or someone else to do that for her – which brought on strange thoughts, as he could easily do it.
Her light breaths ghosted over his chest, barely distracting him from her gentle scent that was wholly feminine and sweet. She was... so soft against him.
He’d never experienced that before. Under him, maybe, like a pillow, but not alive, not sheltered under his wings. Not breathing and pushing malleable breasts against him on each rise. Even her thighs were thick with softness, pressing against his groin between his legs.
His thoughts were growing more and more conflicted.
Now that she was sufficiently warmed, he should be breaking away from her. Or she should be extricating herself from his embrace. Yet he remained, unwilling to part from her, basking in the feel of her instead, like some weird revelation was on the tip of his tongue.
I only came to lie with her because she was shivering.
What Carwyn didn’t know was... Kier had been here every time she’d cast this spell upon his sister, since he’d learned of her ability.
His illusions made it easier. She never saw him small while he lay on the shelf of one of the stone recesses.
She’d even placed a chalice right next to his head after offering Selene water to drink.
He’d been... watching over her.
Sure, Selene as well, but mainly the witch.
He was ready to intervene in case she was delivered a fatal wound he might be able to save her from should he be quick enough. He didn’t want her to be alone or unprotected while she was so vulnerable.
Her words the previous night had stung in an inconceivable way. Hearing how frightened she was of him discovering her – terrified of him fucking eating her, as if he was a monstrous creature – had been harrowing. Dragons did, in fact, eat her kind, as well as humans.
The fact that she’d thought he’d do that to her after all her efforts... Then again, what reason had he given her to trust him? None.
No. He’d been cold, unfriendly, and untrusting towards someone guiltless regarding his pain.
He’d mocked her, sneered at her, thought lowly of her, and shunned her company – even though they’d been forced into proximity with each other because she’d wanted to help.
Not to mention the fact that she’d suffered through most of the process.
He’d been backtracking ever since, trying to earn her forgiveness while offering sincere apologies through wordless actions for even allowing her current sacrifice.
Which was why he was going to pretend she hadn’t seen his face.
He thought he’d touched her lightly enough and his temporary sleep spell would be enough to keep her eyes closed. He still didn’t understand how she’d broken through that. Her power was nowhere near strong enough to fend off dragoncraft, yet she’d startled all the same.
Even when he’d deepened the spell, she’d remained lucid.
His gaze landed on Selene’s sleeping form. Had I known she understood my pain... He may not have been so indifferent to her.
At some point, he would have to tell her he was willing to remain patient for her to find the answer on her own if it helped assuage her worries about bringing other dark witches here.
How long his sister lay there bothered him, but he’d wait if need be.
A few days, weeks, even months to a dragon meant little.
He’d once slept through a whole year out of boredom, and because no one had come to disturb him.
He’d started wanting to bring this witch comfort.
And the sentiment grew thicker roots from the tiny caresses she gave to his scales. She didn’t pick at them, as though she wanted to steal one. The brushes of her fingertips were inquisitive, tickling. Gentle, like her. Brave, like her.
Perhaps she doesn’t think the worst of me.
Kier could be tender; he could be kind. He could be thoughtful, even.
He used to laugh freely, back in the days when all his siblings still breathed, and even a little after that. Even when... he’d become the oldest, despite being the last to hatch of his clutch, and only until Selene became the youngest, despite being the eldest of hers.
Until the games ceased, and the wonderful choirs of giggles that had surrounded him lost their harmony one by one and turned into empty silence.
Until violent play became a wound prodded at, rather than courtship. Until looking at his own sister reminded him of all he’d lost, and he found it difficult to look upon her, be near her... to the point he’d almost lost her as well.
As if she could sense his distressing thoughts, the female, not in his arms but under his wing, drifted her hand up to rub his sternum. The tenderness of that made his chest ache, hollowing it while offering it a balm to soothe the edges of the chasm.
Kier tentatively placed his paw on her side as he asked, “Are you still cold?”
Her body tensed against him, yet somehow curled closer.
“Yes,” she clearly lied, and his heart swelled.
He slipped his arm down, crossed it over her back, and dug his fingers between her side and the cold ground.
He shifted his other hand and clasped the hip she wasn’t lying upon to bring her into a proper embrace.
One that was tentative and confused on his part.
One she didn’t deepen by returning, but also didn’t push away from.
He didn’t understand why it didn’t feel wrong. All he perceived were the pains he had hidden inside him and her softness, the way she moulded against his scales, how her gentle scent surrounded him... and how he found none of it abhorrent against his flesh.
“Thank you for all you are doing for us. You are safe here, Carwyn. Truly,” he admitted quietly, realising he’d never uttered such words to her before.
They were long overdue.
She said nothing in return. Instead, she pressed her ear more firmly against the pounding of his heart, and it doubled in pace for her. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep to its rhythm.
In his very arms.