Chapter 18
Carwyn sighed as she brought the tips of her fingers away from Selene’s cheeks and temples. With all her energy drained, she leaned back to rest, only to flinch forward at the firm, warm lump behind her.
She looked to the side, just as Kier lifted his head towards her from where it lay upon his crossed wrists.
How could such a scaly, spiked face look so surprised when it barely twitched with emotion?
His ruby eyes flicked back and forth, reading her expression as if quietly seeking permission to continue as he was.
Her cheeks warmed as she leaned back against him. She appreciated the support.
She hated that she was so utterly unaware and vulnerable while she dream walked; if she was better at it, she could do it from her own bed.
Most who dream walked could do it from afar.
A part of her believed this ability piggybacked on her empathetic abilities, which was why she needed to touch the person.
Averting her gaze to the side shyly, the flush in her chest grew warmer. This is now the third time he’s done this.
She wondered if he was unsure about lying behind her before she started delving into Selene’s mind, as he was never there when she began the task. He didn’t ask her if she needed or even wanted it, offering his comfort and support silently.
She didn’t want to believe her silly mind that it had a deeper meaning. That, perhaps, he was growing fond of her in some way.
Why would he care for me? He’d made no secret of how much he detested witches. She brought her gaze to Selene’s long inky hair cascading off the side of the grey altar. But why else would he do it?
Other than the first night when she’d been freezing, there was no need for this. Does... it mean something? Or am I being foolish?
Her heart fluttered anyway, shy and bashful at the idea.
Even if it’d just been a momentary glimpse, she remembered his human face; how remarkably handsome it’d been.
It didn’t help that she found this version of him – the one she’d come to know and learned she could touch – handsome as well.
All facets of him appeared to be magnificent, from scales to tanned skin, and she was thankful she didn’t have to deal with the human side.
She might’ve been a teensy bit weak when it came to pretty men.
“You were in there for quite some time again,” he stated softly, not pulling away like she kept expecting whenever they touched unnecessarily.
Actually, just two days ago, he’d pulled her against his side by his long tail, and she’d been so fucking confused she just sat there until the sun went down.
She’d been unsure as to why her heart had raced in elation, only that she’d excitedly pressed her bare hands against him without suffering whatever emotions he may have been feeling.
There had been many moments in Carwyn’s life when she’d used her ability on purpose to feel what the other person was experiencing. She’d like an answer to his confusing actions, but sometimes not knowing was better if it was ignoble.
“I’m trying something different,” she answered just as softly.
“She won’t let me in, and since I no longer need to hide this from you, I’m jumping through her memories rather than attempting to dive for the one I need.
It may take me longer, but if I can stumble upon it instead, it’ll give me a better chance of seeing it. ”
Carwyn hadn’t told Kier the real reason why Selene didn’t want her seeing it. Yes, some of it was pride, but mainly she was terrified to relive it.
She didn’t wish to burden him further, as it’d probably distress him.
“That means the likelihood of you becoming aware of things you shouldn’t will be higher.”
Her shoulders turned inwards self-consciously. “I don’t know how to fight her. If I’m not careful... I’m worried I could damage her other memories.”
Or she’ll kill me, her mind whispered.
Carwyn wanted to help, but not at the cost of her own life.
“Then so be it,” he said, conceding. “Let us hope you find nothing of importance.”
She frowned in his direction, surprised he’d let it go so easily, but he’d already looked away and was staring at the wall.
He’s... never asked if I’ve seen him.
He was all over Selene’s memories.
She softly smiled at the back of his crown of spikes. He loved them all quite dearly.
She’d witnessed him many times be bombarded by playful sisters that picked on their only remaining brother.
She’d seen him comfort them during loss, holding in his own to support them while they’d wept as another of their family died.
He’d somehow found himself in the position of guardian, at the pinnacle of their dwindling family – the one they came to for advice, protection, or comfort – despite being the same age as some of them.
He’s exceptionally strong-hearted and caring to those he clearly adores.
She’d seen him argue with them, hunt for or with them. He apparently had unflappable patience, and she now understood why being called grumpy had bothered him. In the memories, he was quiet, stoic even, but he’d never been a grouch.
Admittedly, Carwyn was struggling to hold in her sympathy for him and Selene.
There had been warmth and light-heartedness in their gazes when they’d been young, both of their gazes filled with mischievous mirth. Although she’d entered the memories out of order, she’d seen that fire die, swallowed up by pain that only became apparent in their intense eyes.
It didn’t help that Carwyn felt all that Selene did as she waded through those memories with her. The yawning loneliness that’d crept inside the dragoness was unbearably heavy.
But I think for him... Her mind churned as she peeked at him. It’s deeper than that.
Selene had lost her sisters and brother, her parents. But Carwyn had a feeling Kier believed he’d failed them. He hadn’t protected them and, therefore, blamed himself.
From what Carwyn had seen in those memories...
he couldn’t have. For some, he’d been too young.
In others, they’d all been older, and they all had their own caves.
One sister had even just... disappeared during a routine flight.
The only reason they knew her to be dead was because when another dragon attempted to scry for her, they couldn’t see her.
She’d just stopped existing, as if her life force had been eradicated.
Dragons are solitary creatures. They didn’t hunker down together. They lived on their own or with their mates and children before they became of an acceptable age to go off on their own.
Unless he wanted his home overrun by his siblings, it was impossible to monitor them day in and day out. From what I know of Selene now, she wouldn’t have stood for such a thing. A male protecting her, as if she couldn’t protect herself? Selene would riot.
Still, Carwyn had so many thoughts as she knelt there, taking in the warm pressure of him until she could barely keep her eyes open.
She excused herself so she could crawl into her new and very much improved bed. Oddly enough, Kier, remaining the size that brought his head to her chest height, escorted her. A lot of their actions were steeped in silence, as if there was an uncertainty between them that they couldn’t shake.
Unspoken requests and offers hovered just out of reach, too awkward to voice.
She didn’t even say goodnight, even when he lingered at the threshold as she entered her sleeping chamber. His brows came together as she started working on the laces of the blue garment he’d given her, preparing to undress to her chemise.
It was only when she began lowering the unlaced bodice that he left, going up the incline – likely to Selene, who hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since Carwyn began today’s dream walking.
When she woke the next morning, her sight was immediately drawn to her left the moment she sat up. The sigh that fell from her was one of confused annoyance. She flopped back against the pillow that cushioned her completely and threw her forearm over her eyes.
Why does he keep doing this? I have no need for this much clothing.
She lifted her arm slightly to peek at the maroon dress, then groaned at the gems stitched into the lace around the low neckline.
The colour was too similar to his eyes.
Those big, beautiful, spellbinding eyes. She wondered if she was growing corrupt when she stared into them for too long, enrapt and captured, because she had this overwhelming, greedy desire... to pluck one.
Not to aid her magic, but because it was so pretty she wanted to keep it. A ruby would do, though. Perhaps she’d find one in the future to pacify the desire.
Getting up, she stared at the new dress like it would come to life and eat her. I wore one already, and the shoes. Can’t that be enough? But a pile had grown, most practical, and some just plain beautiful – it was daunting.
She cleansed her body with a rag, wincing at the coolness of the water as she quickly wiped herself down, then dressed in her own green garment. She snatched the bowl of water he’d left her, as he did most mornings, and drank it down before discarding it.
With a determined spring in her step, she searched for him.
He’d returned to his hoard of books, finally beginning the task of putting them away on the shelves.
“Good day,” he greeted, glancing at her as he set a book down.
Carwyn placed her hands on her hips. “Dragon, we must speak.”
“Kier,” he corrected pointedly.
She rolled her eyes, since she preferred not to say his name when she was being serious, and tapped her foot against the stone floor.
“Cease with the gifts,” she stated stubbornly.
“You may be the only female I know who doesn’t like such things,” he answered, shaking his head.
“Because all the females you know are dragons!”
His scaled lips pursed, then he shrugged. “Human females have been known to be bewitched by gems and such. Be thankful it is only garments you receive, oh noble witch.”
“Noble?” She scoffed. “I’m not prim and proper enough to be called that, even as an insult.”