21. Rorin
Rorin
She fell asleep almost instantly once I crawled under the covers. The curve of her backside is barely nestled into me, I flipped back over once I heard her breathing even out and I knew she was out, now I’ve been staring at her for the past two hours painfully waiting for someone to disrupt us. My fingers reach over to trace the imprints they left behind. I fucking choked her. Dammit . How ironic that we are in the kingdom of healers and I can’t even fix the damage I caused.
One. Breath. Two. Breath. Three. Breath . Four.
I’ve fallen into a routine of watching the rise and fall of her chest. I’m not sure when exactly it started but with this being the second time I’ve inflicted an injury on her - intentional or not - I’ll either need to sneak a healer mage, that isn’t under my father’s thumb, in here to fix the bruises or she won’t be able to show her throat for several days.
I fucking choked her…if it weren't for that same fucking dream. It hasn’t haunted my mind in years but since her…it’s like her presence brings out the very demon in me I’ve worked so hard to suppress.
“An omen if there ever was one.” The man's grating voice echoes around in my head. I am broken. My Wield is broken. I am a dishonor to this kingdom. The chant goes on a loop as my chest aches with guilt. She shifts, her body inching closer to mine if that’s even possible. And another pang of guilt spears through me as I add a verse to the chant.
I am a dishonor to her.
It’s been a few days now since that night. The guilt never subsided, but we got into a routine. She didn’t wake me from any of the other nightmares and other than the moments where we share a bed, we’ve been narrowly avoiding one another every time we are alone. The only words we’ve uttered were when I suggested to her that she should wear a high neck for those bruises. Her response? “We’ll call it foreplay.”
No one else has said anything yet to us. For the most part she’s stayed holed up either in my room or in Axel’s. She thought it was best if she told her men our plan alone. Based on the looks they’ve laid on me every time I am near them, they didn’t take to the idea well.
By the morning of the sixth day, her bruises had begun to fade and there was still no word from my parents other than to say I am currently not required to be at any council meetings. Which means one of two things:
One - my mother has chosen to not say anything to the council or my father for some undisclosed reason, but knowing my mother, I am sure it serves her in some way.
Or two - they know and they’re biding their time, waiting to see how Eveera reacts when cornered .
A soft knock sounds at the door followed by Millicent walking in holding the new linens. She makes her way around me and strips the bed. She must think I don’t notice the reason she is doing housekeeping as a lady isn’t just for good housekeeping but in hopes she’ll find something of interest on Eveera’s bedside. The little sneak. She shuffles behind me - carefully sifting through the drawers. I laugh while lacing my sparring leathers up and grabbing the dagger sheath from the top of my wardrobe. “Millie - if she catches you doing that, I won’t stop her from putting you in your place.” Her incoherent grumbles are the only response I get but she makes sure I understand, prick , come out of her mouth. I pull my boots on last and move to my desk, rifling through the notes of importance on it.
“Any summons yet?” I jump at the proximity of her voice.
“Gods, Mil don’t you know not to sneak up on someone?”
She raises her brows at me, “didn’t know you scared so easily…what are you looking at?” She asks while snatching the document from my hands.
“Sure help yourself…” I mutter, my arms crossing over my chest.
Millie’s brows furrow as she flips the paper over. “These are all just updates on the border outposts.” I nod. “Hmph, well, guess that’s better than a summons from daddy dearest.”
I scoff. I think I would rather it be a summons. All these notes updating me on Bair and Piram are grim at best and if Will and Bennett haven’t seen them already then I’ll have to brief them with hopes that we can get word quickly to the troops.
Permission from my father be damned.
“Mil, let the others know I’ll be in the sparring room. We have to adjust the plans. ”
“You’re going sparring?” Eveera's voice floats over from doorway of the bathroom. She’s clad in only a towel that is very loosely tied around herself and it's as distracting as the first time. She looks around the room before her eyes land back on Millie, “you went through my stuff.” A statement, not a question.
Millie’s cheeks turn pink, quickly she drops the paperwork and scurries from the room. I grab the missives from where they scattered and extend them towards Eveera. Her expression quickly sours as she reads the newest updates. “Hopefully the girl will have the good sense to grab my men too.” I nod grimly. “Although, I can’t commend her subtlety when snooping.”
She reaches for her fighting leathers and weapons and when I don’t move fast enough out of the room she turns back around to me, “if you’d like to see a naked woman, I suggest you go to a whore house.”
“Tempting.” I say, her eyes widening and then darkening at my comment. For some reason I have a feeling that if I chose the whore house option, she'd skin me alive.
I wait outside in The Glass Hall for her. She comes out of the room still tying her hair up into a tight braid on top of her head and keeps her eyes straight forward as we walk through the halls. I look over to her and there’s about a foot of awkward space inbetween us. “Stand closer.” I hiss into her mind.
“What?”
I reach for her elbow in an empty stretch of walkway and haul her into my side, securing her hand tightly into the crook of my arm. "Someone is always watching. Play your role remember?” She growls through the seal at me while keeping a neutral expression onto her face. Most heads stay down as we pass them. Finally we round our way into the empty sparring room and Eveera wastes no time breaking away from me .
Picking the weapons she plans to use from her belt and a bow off the wall she moves onto the floor. Her golden glare finds me again as she empties out her arsenal into the target, hitting her mark every single time. The hate filled stare deepens as she moves to retrieve the weapons and start again.
Slowly our men trickle into the room, keeping their distance from the queen as they do. The brothers, Max and Orem, step onto the empty section of the room meant for sword and hand to hand combat. The two of them moving swiftly in time together each parrying and blocking the blows of the other with their broadswords while Armond is off to the side refereeing their fight.
Bennett comes in next, making his way to me reaching for the missives in my hand. He flips through the pages, turning them back to front a few times to make sure the words he’s reading are correct, while shaking his head in disbelief. At one point his fist lands in the cork wall behind us drawing everyone’s attention.
“Your father isn’t even bothering to stop these deaths.” He snaps quietly. His voice is strained showing me just how much control he has to exert over his anger. I have a feeling if he let it all out, there would be more damage done than just a dent in the cork. He crumples the page, casting it down onto the floor.
Will’s jaw drops. “I wanted to read that!” He whines.
“Too fucking bad,” Bennett snarls, snapping his head in Will’s direction. “Will, if you don’t stop pacing I swear to the bleeding gods I’ll ask the resident psychopathic queen to shoot her next arrow through you.” I’m stunned, I haven’t seen Ben this angry in awhile, he’s not usually one to bite the heads off of others .
SWISHH! THWUMP! Will ducks as an arrow whizzes overhead of us sinking into the cork next to the dent Bennett made. He shoots a scathing look in Eveera's direction, who can’t be bothered to apologize.
“Careful now” I send through the seal. Bennett’s tantrum persists as he stamps a foot onto the crumpled piece of paper almost as if its destruction will put an end to the ever present war. But it won’t. The war is on our doorstep and my parents have us here, playing courtier with the rest of the lazy noblemen and women. The Valen Celebration is almost comical to have at this point when there may not be a Valen in a matter of weeks.
I unsheathe my sword and motion for Ben to take up a weapon and use some of that anger a little more constructively. Will acts as our referee signaling for the match to begin. Bennett is an exceptional fighter, just as good as me if not better. Growing up training side by side it was no question who would become one of my commanders, Bennett was an easy choice. His moves are precise and sharp. The only problem is after sparring with him for the past twenty some odd years, he has become predictable.
He lunges to the right extending his sword forward, a blow I narrowly dodge. We continue this dance for a while, I swing and he ducks. He comes for my side and I go for his neck. Will eventually calls it when I knock Bennett flat on his ass and pin him with my knee.
“Oh shit.” He mutters while standing to dust himself off, his eyes locked on something behind me.
“What?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.
Eveera and Axel are locked in a hand to hand fight on the adjacent mats. Blood is pouring from both of their faces. “ Damn woman.” I growl through the seal but her focus remains honed in on her guard. Her movements are quick and defined against Axel. She pauses to crook a finger towards Maxwell and just as I think she is going to tap out he joins Axel in the spar. Two against one.
They throw every combination of punches and kicks I can think of. They land more than half of them on her body. I step up to intervene, thinking they’ve taken it too far, but her face has a broad and bloodied smile stretching ear to ear. She’s enjoying this.
From the corner of my eye I see sparks popping at Max’s fingertips.
“Reign it in Abrams.” Armond snaps, a warning in his voice. Max pulls back his Wield and uses that warning as an opportunity to remove himself from the fight and tag another into it. Ezra enters the floor, taking up a place next to Axel. He stares her down, before turning and tapping Axel out.
Eveera’s deranged look only makes her appear more lethal. Despite the bruises blooming on her bronzed skin. The sensible side of me knows this isn’t abnormal for them - even if it is for us . That this woman was raised to be as formidable as she could be if only to make up for her lack in size. But seeing her so small against them as they lunge for her, has a much more primal side of me screaming to stop the fight. Ezra charges after her the glint in his eyes telling me he plans to fight dirty. His swings are wild and uncoordinated. The momentum behind them feeling more personal than it does professional.
His elbow rams into her cheek, sending her head at an awkward angle. “ Ugh.” She yells, spitting blood onto the mat. Another bruise starts to form at the base of her eye and the rune on my wrist begins to warm. Eveera ducks the next blow, sweeping a foot out to trip Ezra and he lands on the ground with a thud. She uses the opportunity to lock his head between her knees.
“ End the bout.” I snap, pushing at her through the seal. The rune heats up past warm when a scream tears out of her, he thrusts his hips up tipping her over onto her back. The change in position putting him on top with her braid wrapped around his hand. I notice her fingers digging into the mat, black magic pooling from beneath her palms.
“Eveera. No magic. You Wield, you yield.” Armond shouts at her.
It may be their rule to not Wield on one another but last I checked that doesn’t apply to me . Another scream tears out of her as she bucks and flails from her position but Ezra only tightens his hold, pulling her ear to his mouth, whispering in it. Her hand flies up and scores down his cheek, Ezra lets go with a wild yelp, shoving her away. The nerve I had to use my Wield vanishes the moment he lets her go just as her will to use her flares, her black magic spilling out of her and wrapping around him.
“YOU YIELD EVEERA!” Ezra barks at her but that doesn’t stop her advance on him. Each of her tendrils twist and tighten against his limbs, effectively mummifying everything but his neck, face, and the hand clutching his marred cheek.
She's turned predatory and whatever humanity hangs on inside of her has completely succumbed to the magic. Her men watch stoically from the sidelines. No one making a move to stop her right now. So I do. Not for him, but for her. We don’t need her murdering her own right now.
I step up behind her, carefully reaching out. “ Nightmare…” I whisper, as my left hand gently wraps around her wrist. My right comes up to close around her throat so that I can pull her flush against my chest. My chin rests on top of her hair, narrowing my eyes at Ezra who's struggling against her magic. “ Whatever he said, whatever he did. We will take care of it. But not this way. Not here.” The palm of my left hand comes to rest over her heart. The muscle beats rapidly against it. “ Pull it back. Pour into me if you need to. But I have a feeling if you don’t let go of your commander, your other men will have to step in.” No response flows back into my mind, but her form starts to melt into me and her magic retreats. Slowly. “ That’s it. Good girl.” I purr running my thumb up and down the column of her throat, feeling her pulse calm under my touch.
I back up with her in tow, thankfully, she doesn’t fight against my grip. Maxwell and Orem fall in front of us, hauling their commander up from the ground. His eyes are aflame with rage. “Traitorous bitch.” He snarls, spitting at our feet.
Axel comes up next to me and I gently shove her into his arms. I take two steps at a time towards Ezra. My hand flies out to grab the nape of his neck pressing my blade against his carotid. I drag his face to me putting my mouth right at his ear - just like he did to her. “You’ve caused problems from the moment I met you.” He jerks against my hold but I dig the blade in harder until copper hits my nose. “Whatever you said to draw that out of her should’ve cost you your life. Next time I won’t be so generous with saving it. Speak to her like that again, call her any more names, spit in her direction and I’ll cut your tongue out myself and wear it around my neck like a fucking trophy.” With a hard push I send his body back into the brothers standing behind him.
“We’re done here.” I growl, grabbing Eveera from Axel to usher her back to my bedroom. Surprisingly she doesn’t protest - not on the walk up or when I sent her to the shower.
She’s been in there long enough now that the hot water has probably run cold. Axel wordlessly joined me on the couch as I waited for her to finish up. I keep hoping with every swig of wine I swallow that he’ll leave me be. If he thinks my ire doesn’t extend to him as well for being a part of that exhibition, he’s grossly overestimating my patience for him.
“You should know—” His voice breaking the silence we’ve been sitting in the sound of it only serving to annoy me more, “—if you plan to play the part of her lover, you should at least be giving the illusion you’re in the shower with her. She takes them a lot, sort of helps recenter her thoughts. It’s also a favorite spot for her to spend quality time with her lovers.” He waggles his brows at me.
“I’ll go join her then.” I snap, abandoning him on my couch that he doesn’t bother moving from. “You’re not planning on staying are you?” I ask my annoyance a little more evident now.
He shrugs giving me a lazy smirk. Great . I shove my empty glass into his hand and stalk off to our bedroom - my bedroom - letting the door slam behind me, Axel’s deep laughter drowning out behind the wood.
I knock on the bathroom door but no answer comes from the other side. Based on how beat up she was I make the executive decision to peek my head in there. The door creaks open under the weight of my hand not allowing me a more quiet entry. The shadow of her small frame leans against the back wall through the foggy glass.
“If you’re checking out my ass I’ll gouge your eyes out with my thumbs.” Her voice is gravelly and low. It sounds a lot like the voice that takes over when her Wield is in control.
“Mm. Noted.” I say to her, deciding to fully allow myself in the room.
“Is there are reason you’re fogging up the other side of this glass?”
I tap my finger against the shower door rhythmically. “Assumed you might need a hand in there. You barely made it up the stairs.”
“Bold of you to assume that I want your hands anywhere near me. And I had a difficult time with the stairs because you practically dragg—”
“Eveera.” She sighs in defeat, relenting much to my surprise as her hand reaches back to slide open the shower door. I guess that’s my invitation in. I step backwards onto the slick tile keeping my front facing the glass instead of her. “Apparently showering with a lover is a favorite pastime of yours.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say to break the awkward tension swirling around us. Why I thought this would be a good idea is beyond me .
Astonishingly she laughs. “I have a lot of favorite pastimes. But you could say showering is one of them. Though, I’d be shocked if you came in here just to fuck me.” The carnal side to me perks up at that idea. To distract myself I look down at my boots, noticing that the water swirling around them is tinged pink.
“You’re still bleeding. You’ve been in here for at least an hour and you’re still bleeding.” I take a deep breath before speaking to her. “Eveera. You have two options here. One - I can turn around and assess the damage while you let me or two - I can…no no there’s only one option.” I say lifting my head and turning around slowly. I keep my eyes looking up to the ceiling, because if I focus any lower... “I turned around.”
She shifts the weight on her legs, hissing at the movement. “I figured as much.” We stand there like this for a moment. “Well aren’t you going to nurse me back to health?” She asks, her tone anything but permissive.
“I think it would be rude of me to do so without your permission.”
She scoffs. “And it wasn’t rude of you to just waltz in here during my very private, very naked shower?” Fair point. “Well go on. Nurse.” Very slowly I drop my gaze and find her facing me already, glowering upwards. Her tattoos have strategically moved to cover the more intimate areas of her body.
“Eyes up here princeling.” She grits out. Her face is puffy; whether from crying or the fight I’m not sure. The more severe injuries ended up being her black eye, the cut in her bottom lip, and the gash in her hairline. Any other scrapes or bruises I take note of are superficial, but the cut in her hairline continues to weep.
She could have easily dodged every one of the punches, kicks, and slaps her men threw at her. She chose not to. She chose to be their punching bag. “You let them get those hits in.”
She shrugs. “Boosts morale. ”
“Fuck that. Allowing yourself to be beaten in a spar you can clearly win, isn’t boosting morale. It’s masochism.” The scars on her legs should be proof enough to me that she savors her own pain. Even if her men tolerate it, doesn’t mean I have to. I grab the rag from the shelf above her to soak under the stream. I bring it up to the cut on her forehead the contact has her wincing slightly before relaxing under the touch. It takes a few dabs at it until the blood flow lessens. It won’t scar but it’ll give her one hell of a headache. I continue the dabbing motion on every one of the cuts, careful not to press on the swelling under her eye. “We ought to get a healer to look at you before dinner. People may question why you look like a human pincushion. And by people, I mean the court nobles.”
Her nose scrunches in disgust and she pulls back from the cloth. “Fuck your nobles.”
“Ha. I wouldn’t recommend it.”
She rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t afraid to wear the collar you put on me. What makes you think I am afraid to wear the marks from a fight?” With her chin raised, she decides she's done and slips past me to leave the shower.
“Eveera I—” The words catch in my throat. Large, puffy, red and white scars peek out of the edge of the towel she’s wrapped around herself. “Eveera . ” I breathe, the words still lost. Her head turns to the side as she peers at me from over her shoulder.
Her puffy, purple eyes are exhausted. “I think that’s enough show and tell, princeling.”