Chapter 41 #2
I grin back. “Only one loss, so I’d say we’re doing pretty good.
But,” I grow serious again, “that’s not what this is about.
I called this conference because I’m tired of being scared.
I’ve spent months pretending that Sam and I aren’t married.
Months pretending that I haven’t been falling for her with every moment I spend with her.
But the truth is…” I swallow and gather my courage, only to find I don’t need to.
Admitting my feelings for Sam, it turns out, is incredibly easy when I no longer care about the consequences.
I lean closer to the microphones. “I love her. I love her so much that it hurts. Like, a physical pain.” I touch my chest. “Any of you feel like that?”
A few people’s hands raise, and I smile.
“Glad to know I’m not the only one, then.”
“This is so sweet,” Amy says. “But you’ve got a lot of apologizing to do.”
“Indeed I do,” I say, straightening. “So. Any questions?”
I spend the next fifteen minutes answering questions, but declining to name the player who harassed Sam.
I know enough that if Sam wants to say something, she will.
It’s one thing to punch the asshole, but it’s another to take Sam’s agency.
On the other hand, I will absolutely be reporting him to USA Rugby.
Today will be the last day he wears a rugby jersey.
When it’s over, I stand, thanking everyone and adjusting my tie, grateful for the bright lights being turned off as I step off the dais.
“Colin.”
A shiver runs down my spine. Because there she is, the woman I’m desperately in love with, dressed in slacks and a dark pink top, almost as tall as me in heels. But it’s the tears in her eyes that stop me in my tracks. “Sam.”
She sniffs, looking around the room that now holds only the two of us, along with Neesha, Amy and Sullivan Adams. “Did you really mean all that?”
“I did.” And then, because I see the way she’s trembling and fighting to keep it together, I murmur, “Please don’t cry.”
A single tear tracks down her cheek at my command. I close the distance between us, thumbing the tear away and blinking back my own.
“You love me?” she asks.
I cup her cheeks, determined to have as much of her as she’s willing to give. “I love you. You deserve so much more than those words, but of course I love you.”
She leans her cheek into my palm, her hands coming to rest on my forearms. “How long?”
“How long have I been utterly head over heels for you? Or how long have I been a complete and total ass who didn’t realize what a gift you are? Not that it matters. Because the answer is the same.”
She studies me, her ice-blue eyes shining. Another tear escapes and I thumb it away. “And?”
“Since the night we met, Samantha.”
Her eyes flare wide. “What?”
I nod. “You were my fantasy come to life. Beautiful, brave, and utterly fearless. Trusting and loyal, even though I’d done nothing to deserve it.
We both broke our rules that night, but what I did by leaving you the next morning?
That was unforgivable. I’ll never be able to apologize enough.
And I don’t expect your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. ”
She silences me with a kiss. It’s so unexpected that I go still, unsure of what’s happening, before returning the kiss. With enthusiasm.
She giggles, her lips curving against mine as I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her tight. “Easy, Coach,” she warns. “People are watching.” Her eyes sparkle as she takes my face in her hands. “Reporter people, actually.”
“I don’t care,” I murmur, leaning to nuzzle the spot just behind her ear that always smells like the beach. “You kissed me. You’re letting me kiss you. Nothing matters.”
A throat clears behind us.
Sam giggles again, gently pushing me away from her.
“Coach Thicke.” Neesha’s voice breaks through the haze of sunshine I’d been lost in.
I turn, keeping my arm wrapped around Sam’s waist. My heart fucking soars when she notches herself in, locking her arm around my back. “Neesha. Hi.”
She raises a brow, but there’s a smile hidden behind her stern expression. “I received a call from Scott on our way over here.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“He wanted to know why you fired Frank. He also wanted to know why he was finding out that you and Sam were married via a live press conference that he wasn’t aware of.
And he was very curious to hear why you referred to Sam as the head of the team’s physical therapy department before he and I got to tell her privately.
” She looks at Sam. “I think that was the gist, yes?”
Sam nods and gives me a soft smile.
“Last thing first,” I start, still aware that Amy and Sullivan are off to the side, listening.
“I’ve been working with Neesha and Scott on getting you that position for a month now.
Your insights and training regimen are far better than Bill’s.
He’s been given a nice severance package. I think he was relieved, actually.”
Sam gapes at me. “Seriously?”
I nod. “Seriously. This was a business decision all the way. You’re better qualified for the job. Period. Although if you turn it down – because that’s your right – then we’ll figure something out.”
“I want it,” she says, a note of shock still in her voice.
“You deserve it.” I hope she knows how much I mean that.
Then I turn to Neesha. “And Frank’s a prick.
I told him Scott gave me permission to fire him whenever I wanted.
Which wasn’t true, but I am not working with him any longer.
He’s holding the team back at best, and actively working against us at worst. Kari deserves the job, not him. ”
Sam’s jaw drops even more. “Who are you, and where did you hide Colin?”
Neesha laughs quietly and gestures for Amy and Sullivan to follow her. “I think we’ll leave now.”
After the door closes behind them, I turn back to Sam and pull her hands into mine.
“I’ve spent the past six months trying to control everything.
Trying to control my feelings for you. Trying to control people not learning our secret.
Focused on controlling all the wrong things.
But I realized the only thing that control was doing was ruining me.
Ruining us.” My voice cracks. “It was never my intention to make you feel like you weren’t worthy.
And I think I might have done that. Did I? ”
She nods, biting her lip and looking away.
I tip her chin to get her to meet my eyes once more. “You are the most incredible person in the world. I was an idiot to hide you. I should have been screaming about you from the rooftops, no matter the consequences. Because you are everything to me, Sam.”
She sniffs again, but holds my gaze. “You made me feel small.”
The words are delivered quietly, but they might as well be a knockout punch. My knees wobble. “Fuck,” I choke out, shame spiraling through my gut. “I’m so sorry.”
She takes a deep breath. “I believe you. And I forgive you. But.”
I close my eyes. This is where she’s going to tell me she still wants the divorce.
“I…I don’t want to go to the courthouse.”
My eyes fly open. “You don’t?”
She swallows. “No.”
This time, my knees really do buckle. They hit the ground as I utter an “Oof,” throwing my hands out to keep from faceplanting.
“Colin!” Sam kneels before me, panicked. “Are you okay? Should I call everyone back in here?”
I blink away the darkness that threatens to overtake me, shaking my head and trying to breathe through the relief that courses through me. “You don’t want a divorce?” I look up at her.
“I don’t,” she whispers.
“Thank fuck,” I croak. Then I straighten and go onto one knee as I reach for my jacket pocket and pull out a ring box.
“Um,” Sam says, looking at the closed box, then me, then back to the box.
I open it.
She gasps, tears immediately springing to her eyes once again. “My necklace?”
I nod. “I didn’t know I had it when I left. And by the time I realized I had it, I was already back in Atlanta. Then I saw you, and –”
I don’t get to finish before she’s tackled me, knocking me onto the carpet and sending the box and necklace tumbling out of my hand.
“You asshole,” she whispers, smiling as she leans to kiss me.
I take the kiss, trying desperately not to get hard as she wiggles against me. “Sam,” I grunt.
She leans up with a bashful laugh. “Sorry. But that necklace.”
“Means a lot to you, I know. I’m sorry I kept it so long. I was a coward and I had no right to keep it like I did.”
She rolls off me and grabs it, gazing at it with such longing that I almost feel like I should look away. Then she holds it out to me. “Put it on?”
I scramble to her across the floor, taking it and opening the clasp while she gathers her hair and holds it to the side. I pull it around her neck and close the clasp, then kiss the skin right below it, inhaling deeply.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I pull the other box out of my jacket pocket, the one she might have thought I was grabbing the first time, and open it.
The sound catches her attention, and she whirls around on her knees. “Colin,” she breathes.
“I bought this last week,” I tell her. “I swear, I was in some sort of trance. I’d watched you put these giant ruggers through their paces in the weight room, and all I could think was that you were my wife.
My wife. And that I’d messed up so badly.
But I had to try. I had to believe that maybe, just maybe, I’d somehow convince you to stay married to me.
This ring is proof of my idiocy, maybe, but also…
” I swallow back the lump in my throat. “Hope. Hope that you’d forgive me.
Hope that you’d let me spend the rest of my life putting you first. Out loud. ”
Her only answer is to bite her lip as tears stream down her face.
“So,” I say as a feeling of absolute weightlessness takes over. “Samantha Abigail Nash, will you do me the honor of remaining my wife?”
She nods, smiling through the tears. “Yes.”
I smile, plucking the sapphire and diamond ring out and sliding it onto her finger, where it fits perfectly.
She looks up at me. “I love you, Colin.”
My smile broadens. “I love you, too, Sam.”
Then I pull her to me for a kiss.