Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
A bout a quarter of a moon passed swimming and boarding The Sterling Mer. Mo was getting used to sleeping on a whale, breaching the surface every now and then, as strange as it seemed. But Noon was surprisingly comfortable, and also incredibly easy to talk to. Despite being a sea creature who couldn’t even talk with humans herself, she had a vast amount of knowledge about them. She said she’d spoken to many a number of merfolk over her years, and learnt great things through their conversations that never left her memory. A whale never forgets, and the saying was true. Which gave Mo the idea to ask her about his great inquiry, despite being the least likely creature who would know the answer…
“Noon, do you know of any way that a mer could become human themself?” he asked one night, laying on his side on her back.
“I do know that it is possible, yes,” she replied.
Mo sat up on his elbows. “Then do you know the process? Of how it can happen? And please, could you confirm to me if the Siren’s Song makes no difference?”
Noon hummed before she spoke. “I do not know the process entirely. I wish I could give you a precise answer. From what I have gathered, the mer needs to have a deep connection with humanity, or it could be with a singular human, for the shift to occur. What that connection is or how one knows when it is there is unclear to me. But I do know the connection must be reciprocated, truthfully, wholly, and completely. To answer your other question—yes. Whatever magic a mer possesses makes no difference. All merfolk carry the ability to become human.”
“A connection…” Mo lay back down and held onto that thought. This astounded him—Noon was the first individual who knew anything at all about making the shift happen. So it was possible. Even as a siren. He always thought it was so, but a connection ? Ever since he was younger, Mo felt connected to humanity in one way or another with his interests. That interest was only made stronger in his relationship with Kent.
Kent Wilson: the human who he cared for the most. Mo was certain that same care was reciprocated. Why else would Kent go through all these great lengths of boarding the ship if he didn’t want to be with him? The way Kent smiled at him, the way he blushed at every gentle touch, the way he was so eager to be even closer, skin to skin, showing the same desire Mo had to be intimate. There was no doubt they shared a strong connection with each other, despite not knowing each other for very long.
But was there something else?
The more Mo thought about Kent, his cheeks warmed up and his heart beat faster. Those pesky minnows swirled in his chest and fluttered their fins, making his whole body feel light even under the pressure of the sea. He’d never felt this way about another being, human or merman. Somehow, with one chance encounter, Kent took center stage in his mind and was all he could ever think about.
“I think I’ve fallen in love.”
“Hmm?”
Fuck, did I say that out loud?
“The… there’s one human man aboard the ship we’re trailing. And…” —he swallowed— “I think I’m in love with him.”
Noon hummed, a joyous little noise. “That is wonderful. Does he feel the same?”
“I…” Did Kent feel the same? He wasn’t sure, and had no idea the proper way to ask. But with everything he knew they felt for one another, he supposed it was possible… “I don’t know. But it’s likely.”
“Is he a human you have a strong connection with? I assume you are asking how a mer becomes human because you have not shifted yourself, and wish to do so.”
“Yes, that’s correct.” He nodded against her back. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be human, but now that I feel this for Kent, I’ve been wanting it more than ever.”
Noon was silent for a moment, swimming along the dark gentle tides, before she spoke again. “I wish I could help you more. I can only tell you what I know, which I have already done. But if you do believe there is a deep connection there, and he reciprocates, perhaps such a reality of shifting will be possible in your future.”
“Perhaps, yes.”
He held onto the wonderful thought, hopeful, as he drifted off to sleep.
The next day, Mo was lifted up by the fishnet again to spend time with Kent and the crew. He took off his carry-bag and left it by the railing of the ship, since he didn’t really need it while on board. With Mo keeping the ship on a clear path with beautiful skies, not much work was actually needed today, so a handful of the crew sat down on the main deck to play cards with each other. Kent tried to explain the rules of the game Faro to him, and it seemed easy enough. Mo joined in for a handful of turns, but mostly just sat next to Kent, watching him play with the others. He gifted any coin he won while he was playing to Kent, anyway.
“Dammit, Fareham! How the devil do you keep this up?” said Davies while suppressing a laugh, scooching the winnings in Kent’s direction along the wooden floorboards.
“I think I’m fairly good at this, what can I say?” Kent said with a smile.
“A lot of the game is luck, you know. There can be strategy, but you can only do so much if the banker pulls a bad card,” Walker offered, the banker himself.
“Yes, I know, but let me have this win!” Kent chuckled, and Mo did as well with him whilst sitting by his side.
“You sure you don’t wish to try again, Mo? Take his place?” asked Davies.
“You only say that because you think you’d have a better chance against me, since I’m new to this.” Mo smirked.
“That may be one of my reasons for suggesting, yes.”
“I think I’m done for now, though,” said Kent. “Got enough of my fill for the moment.”
“Yes, I think I’m done too,” said Allen, sitting on the other side of Mo. He did fairly well in the game too, all things considered, with how much coin he threw back in his pocket.
“I’m glad Harris isn’t playing with us anymore,” said Davies. “He was a well squinny. The whoreson would never shut up about how he planned to steal us dry of coin, and how much better he’d spend our money. As in, since we weren’t spending it at brothels, he would.”
Mo knew what a brothel was since some merfolk cities also had such establishments. He kept a straight face and said nothing, not wanting to raise anyone’s suspicions on his involvement with the previous surgeon’s disappearance.
“Harris... He was the old surgeon, wasn’t he?” asked Kent cautiously.
“Yes.” Walker nodded. “Whilst he was very exceptional at the technical aspect of his job, he was not an enjoyable person to be around. In his twisted mind, only men were ‘true’ persons, and women were merely sexual objects.”
That made Mo, and everyone else sitting around, scrunch their noses in disgust.
“I’ve met too many men in my time who held similar views as him,” Allen commented, a sneer on his lips. “While it is... unfortunate he went missing, Fareham, I do appreciate your presence much more.”
The rest of the men nodded in agreement, cheering their praises for Kent. “We are so blessed to have you on board,” Mo heard Davies say amongst them.
That all made Kent’s cheeks flush, an adorable warm red. “Thank you, I appreciate you all having me here. I can assure you, with what you’ve said about Harris, I am nothing like him.”
“And I can attest to that,” Mo finally said. “Fareham is the sweetest, most kind-hearted human you’ll ever meet.”
Somehow, Kent flushed even harder, putting a hand in front of his absolutely endearing smile.
Even though they agreed to be done with their gaming, none of them got up from their spots. They simply chatted away like they’ve been doing this past quarter moon, laughing and learning more about each other. Like always, the focus somehow landed on Mo regardless of where the conversation was going, asking him more about merfolk and their way of life. Over their time, they’d already asked him about what he eats, how he sleeps, and even more invasive questions Kent was hesitant to ask in the beginning, such as sex and reproduction. Kent blushed uncontrollably as Mo explained how it worked plainly to them.
Of course, Mo only talked in general terms of a merman and a mermaid. As adorable as Kent was when embarrassed, Mo knew he should keep the details of their ventures private. He’d be too bashful to admit the hot and breathtaking things they’d done together out loud to anyone, anyway. Well, to anyone other than Kent himself (to which, he’d gladly tease him as much as he could).
But they hadn’t had any physical intimacy since Kent boarded The Sterling Mer , and it pained Mo so. Seeing him and talking with him every day, yet unable to touch him the way he wanted. He knew they just had to take their time per Walker’s advice to get to know the crew, but damn , if he wasn’t itching for some more alone time with his precious human.
That being said, the small circle of men here—along with the captain who was elsewhere at the moment—knew the true nature of Mo’s relationship with Kent. They were comfortable with each other, and Mo hoped to say they were all becoming friends. It was strange—how much easier it was to talk to humans than to other merfolk. He felt like he belonged.
What the fuck am I doing killing humans, then?
Mo shook his head, hoping no one noticed how he squinted his eyes amongst the chatter in their sitting circle.
No, no, it’s not the same. I—I’m not just some reckless, bloodthirsty monster, am I? I mainly only target pirates. I have control. I can control the Song.
“Mo, have you ever tried to become human?”
It was Davies’s voice that took him out of his thoughts.
“Human? Oh, I’d love to try, but I don’t know how. Not—not necessarily, anyway.” He wasn’t paying close enough attention to how the conversation got here, but he was very glad it did. Now was finally his chance to ask. “Do any of you know a method? For merfolk to gain legs?”
“No, not at all. Do you?” Davies asked Walker, and Walker shook his head. “That’s unfortunate.”
“I have some books and pamphlets about merfolk, and even those don’t have any solid answers,” commented Kent. “We were… sort of hoping perhaps someone here on the ship knew anything.”
“Hmm, I don’t think Captain Brooks would know, either,” said Walker. The bright sun highlighted his dark skin. “When Lyla was traveling with us, she was a mermaid the entire time. Never human. And when we returned to shore, she didn’t wish to stick around, and went back to her home in the water. Brooks was saddened at the time, but I remember he tried to stay optimistic. That since she was a mermaid, they were too different to maintain a lasting relationship, anyway.”
“But I don’t think that’s true at all,” said Mo.
That got the attention of everyone, looking at him curiously.
He gently grasped Kent’s hand resting next to him on the floorboards, giving him a smile, and then continued, “There must’ve been something else. There’s a common belief in merfolk society for us to stay away from humans, that they’re dangerous, and that’s why we hardly show ourselves to your kind. So perhaps there was something holding her back from continuing their relationship, whether that was her own subconscious beliefs or an external force suggesting she cut ties with him.”
Mo’s answer seemed to surprise everyone, aside from Kent. While Kent already knew of such circumstances with merfolk—and had to deal with external forces of his own, like his father—the other men opened their eyes wider. “I suppose that is possible,” said Walker. “Lyla never talked much about her home life. Actually, now that I think about it, the only one she really talked to at all was Brooks. She didn’t board every day like you do, Mo. You’ve been more social than she ever was, and that’s a different experience for all of us.”
“I see.” So that was why, even after Lyla, the men had remained curious about him. “Well, to get back to earlier, I don’t suppose perhaps another crewman knows something about becoming human? There are a lot of people here on this ship?—”
“I do.”
Everyone turned their attention to Allen.
“You do? Really?” asked Mo.
Allen ran his fingers over the top of his head, combing through his long, loose orange locks. “Aye, in a way. There’s something I’ve never told any of you, but I suppose now is as good a time as any. My father was a merman.”
“What?!”
“Are you serious?” said Davies, sitting up straighter. “This whole time, and you’ve never told us such a thing? You’ve been a part of this crew for nearly two years!”
“I know, but the subject never came up. It never felt right to mention it. It doesn’t change anything about who I am, does it?”
“Doesn’t change…” Davies pouted, crossing his arms. “All right, I suppose it doesn’t. I’m just shocked, that’s all.”
“Same for myself,” said Walker.
“Does that mean you, yourself are a merman?” Kent asked Allen.
Mo’s heart thudded madly as all of this was unfolding. That’s why his hair is so strange. He’s mer.
“I’ve only been a human my entire life,” said Allen, striking Mo even curiouser. “My mother was a full-blooded human. Which would make me only a half-breed, or less, if my father possibly wasn’t full-blooded merfolk.”
“I never realized humans could breed with merfolk. What!” Davies chuckled.
“I hadn’t fully realized either, but I suppose it is possible,” Walker offered. “Because Allen right here is proof, if what you say is true.”
“That was my mother’s word, and I would never call her a liar. She was a very honest woman, always doing everything she could for me.”
“Please, tell me your story. This is so fascinating to me,” said Mo. More than anything, his chest buzzed with anticipation to hear what Allen had to say.
“All right.”
Everyone huddled in a bit closer, as Allen spoke softly.
“At first, the person my mother had met had the appearance of a human man. She had no idea he could be anything other than that. He was a fisherman, or so he said. He had no home, so Mother took him in to shelter him and soon enough, they spent time together, and then they had me.
“But they were not married, and things being how they were, Mother insisted on it. She said Father was incredibly hesitant, and that’s when he revealed the truth. That he wasn’t human at all, and was actually born a merman in the sea.”
That got a few gasps out of everyone in their circle. “So he already knew how to shift into a human before he and your mother met?” asked Mo.
“Apparently. With having me, and the prospect of getting married in the human realm, it frightened him. That’s how Mother described it. That he felt incredibly guilty for leaving his ‘true home’ in the ocean, and he felt a calling to go back. So, not long after I was born, Father abandoned us. I’ll never forget how Mother told me how she watched him shift into a merman on the beach with her very own eyes, holding me in her arms, as he swam into the sea, never to come back.”
“Oh, wow… I—I’m so sorry that happened to you,” said Mo.
Allen shrugged, giving a lopsided smile. “It’s all right. Since then, my mother married a full-blooded human, and had more children—my half-siblings. My step-father provided for us well. But I’ve always had a strange relationship with the sea because of my biological father, and… I don’t mean to offend you, but I’ve been wary of merfolk in general. With what I explained, I hope you can understand.”
“Yes, yes, I understand.” Mo looked down at his lap. That explained all of Allen’s curious glances, how there was something in his green eyes that seemed to know more. He did. Mo’s heart felt for him, twisting.
Yet this story contradicted what Noon had told him about the human-merfolk connection needed for the shift, and every other tale that told of such a thing. Despite the fact of a merman shifting between one form or another, it still didn’t answer his question as to how .
“Even though you have mer-blood then, you have not been able to become mer yourself?” asked Mo as he looked up.
“No, but at the same time, I’ve never desired to. I enjoy the water, enough to become a sailor myself, but living down there? I could never.” He gave a lighthearted laugh.
“I just had a very strange thought,” Davies interjected. “You don’t suppose that… I was thinking of Lyla and Brooks, but you don’t think perhaps that while she was on board, he,” —he hushed his voice to a whisper— “he impregnated her? And that to have his child, since she wasn’t human herself, she needed to stay in the water?”
“Now that is a theory I’ve never heard, but it does sound very plausible,” Walker agreed.
“This is all so fascinating,” said Kent, a smile full of wonder on his face. “But Allen, what strikes me still so strange is how you said—your father somehow was a human when your mother met him. That meant he was able to shift before he’d ever met her.”
“I’m wondering about that too,” said Mo, looking back to Kent. “K—Fareham, last night, my friend Noon told me something valuable when it comes to becoming human.”
“Really? What did she say?”
“That in order for a mer to become human, they must have a deep connection to either humanity, or a single human. And that human—or humans —must reciprocate that connection back. But that was all she knew, and couldn’t go into further detail.”
“A deep connection?” Kent’s face flushed red again. Mo’s face felt hotter as well, knowing just what Kent was thinking—what their connection to each other was like, and talking about it when all these other people were near. “Well, I see. But if what Noon said is true, then…”
“Then how was Allen’s father able to become human, and yet wanted to return to the sea?” Davies finished Kent’s thought. “I’m sorry, but I’m following along with everything you all are saying, and it’s so very interesting to me.”
“No need to apologize,” said Allen. “I’m not so sure as well. If he felt the need to return to the sea, I doubt he felt a strong enough connection to humanity, like your whale friend said.”
“Then it must be something else,” said Mo, pressing his lips into a fine line. “If breeding between humans and merfolk is possible, perhaps your father had human blood in him as well, from his parents? Therefore, he was both human and merfolk, giving him the ability to shift.”
“But what of full-blooded merfolk?” said Davies, following along the facts carefully. “Perhaps there’s more than one way for merfolk to gain legs, whether they have human blood or not, like the whale said—if they’re full-blooded mer, they need to have a connection to humanity.”
“Indeed.” Allen nodded. “If my father was a half-breed himself, that would mean I have even less mer-blood, and may be why I’m not able to become a merman myself. I’ve always considered it a possibility.”
“Yes, and I agree with Davies,” said Kent. “Mo, whether you have human blood or not, there still must be a way for you to become human.” He looked dearly at Mo, smiling. “This is all quite muddling in my head, with all this new information. But with everything we’ve heard and known, all the tales, and now with what you mentioned Noon said, I believe we’re closer than ever to finding it possible.”
Mo smiled as well. “Yes, I believe so too.”
“Don’t you already have a connection with Fareham, though?” asked Davies. “Or is there something I’m missing?”
“Davies, you always are so nosy.” Walker gave him a light swat on the back of the head, causing Davies to yelp. “This is something they have to figure out. Don’t make it harder on them.”
“I was only trying to help!” He winced, rubbing the spot on his head Walker hit.
The others laughed aloud, and Mo’s chest continued to flutter. “Walker is right, though,” he said, laughing as well. “We have to figure this out, and we will.” He looked at Kent who was blushing madly, holding a hand in front of his face to (unsuccessfully) cover up his redness. Yet Mo saw him peek through his fingers, catching a glimpse of his beautiful brown left eye. “I know we will.”
“How is everything this day, lads?”
Captain Brooks made his appearance, standing tall over everyone sitting in the circle. The sun was bright behind his head, haloing his long blond hair in a shimmering glow, hatless today. He stood with an air of confidence, yet with a friendly smile on his handsome face—one hand on his hip and the other giving a gentle wave.
“Doing good!” answered Kent, lowering his hand and smiling back at him.
“I’m very glad to see everyone’s been getting along with our merman guest here.” He gestured toward Mo.
“Yes, indeed,” Davies chimed in.
“Have you been enjoying yourself on The Sterling Mer , Mo?” Brooks asked him.
“Absolutely.” He nodded.
“You haven’t been belowdecks with Fareham yet, have you?”
“Oh, no… I’ve not. I wasn’t sure if it was proper for me to…”
Brooks rubbed his chin, looking around to the men in the circle. He then pandered his gaze around the rest of the ship, back and forth, finally landing his eyes on Kent. “Would you like him to go down with you?”
“Yes. Yes, please, by all means, Captain!” Kent said quickly, beaming a huge grin.
“Then, I don’t see why not. I believe everyone here has taken a liking to Mo, to where I don’t think they’ll mind. Right, lads?” He looked at the sitting crewmen in their circle, to which they nodded in agreement. “Fareham, you’ve no other duties here today unless something unexpected occurs. So, do however you’d like.”
“You mean it, Captain?”
“Yes, of course.” He laughed, his broad shoulders rising as he did. “And please, call me Brooks. Allen, would you be so kind as to help see them down?”
“Aye, Brooks.” He glanced at Mo. “Are you ready?”
Mo nodded. Every day thus far, usually it was Allen’s burly arms lifting him where he needed to be. As much as he’d much prefer to have Kent’s hands touching him, Kent was also a bit physically smaller than himself, and Mo would hate to see Kent strain those lean, beautiful muscles carrying him any more than need be. Allen, however, had the muscles of two men, possibly three. He put his hands under Mo and lifted him high without breaking a sweat.
Kent led the way down into the ship as Allen carried Mo with them. While Mo had been through the rooms of a ship before, it was never like this—in the air. Countless, countless times, he’d scavenged the ships he’d sunk with his Song underwater, swimming around their corridors with ease. There was also one other stark difference that churned his stomach at the disturbing thought: every human on this ship was alive. Mo brushed the thought out of his mind. Now was not the time to think of that. He was with Kent, and once Allen left, they’d finally be alone together again.