Chapter 9
Napa, California
Unlike all the previous times when Ella returned from San Luis, she did not call Ben when she arrived at home.
Instead, she sent a quick text letting him know she had made it there safely and was tired and going to bed.
Her phone immediately started ringing, but she ignored it.
She had used all the energy she had talking with him during the day.
That was the first time since they met that Ella went to bed without hearing Ben’s voice telling her goodnight.
It was childish on her part not to answer, but so be it.
That trend continued for the next three days.
When Ben would call, Ella would text that she was working or busy or tired. She was out of words for him.
Given that the previous two weeks Ella had spent most of every waking hour on school work and now that she was done, she was catching up on all the sleep she had missed.
Of course, she had still not told her parents about having completed her projects or being done with school.
When they asked if she needed time for school work, she would say that she was good.
Her mood was low all week. Luckily for her, no one in her family ever addressed anything of a serious matter, so no one even asked her about it.
Her family always acted as if everything was normal, smiling and pretending all was good.
It was how they dealt with things—or rather, how they did not deal with them.
The minute Ben woke up, he listened to Ella’s message.
He wanted to call her back and talk, but by then, she was already working the early shift at the diner.
He knew her father did not like her taking personal calls during work.
So he contented himself with the fact that Ella sounded like herself for the first time since Sunday morning.
He had missed her. He had felt frozen out by her and had no idea how to deal with that.
Luckily, he seemed like he would not have to.
He sent a happy emoji and asked her to call him when she could talk.
Later that night when Ella called, Ben answered on the first ring. “Hello, beautiful. I have missed you.”
Laughing, Ella replied, “I have missed you too. How was your day?”
“Not as great as yours apparently”
“You are right. I have never been so happy to get my period in my whole life. I never want to go through that again. The whole thing totally freaked me out.”
“Understood,” replied Ben. He too was relieved, but something about how vehemently she did not want to have a child rankled him. Was it any child or just his? “I know what you said about your plans for grad school and after, but just for clarification, you do want to have kids someday, right?”
“Of course,” replied Ella quickly. “I want kids someday, like ten years from now. But a baby now would ruin everything.”
Ben could not help but think of his own mother and how she was the exact same age as Ella when she got pregnant with him.
He wondered if she had thought he ruined her life.
If so, that would make him very sad. Thinking of his mom, Ben said, “Not saying I wish you were pregnant or anything, but you know my mom was your age when she had me. It can work out.”
Ella was quiet for a minute. She was not sure how to respond to that.
After a second, she said, “Well, from what you told me, your mom had someone who supported her and provided free babysitting while she finished her school and developed her career. I don’t really see anyone signing up to go to Michigan with me in the fall to support me and watch a kid while I pursue my dreams, so it is really not the same thing. ”
“Lucky for us, that is not an issue,” replied Ben.
He wanted to add something to the conversation but had no idea what that should be, so he let it go.
Instead, he said, “I know this might not be the best time to talk about this, but there is something that has been bothering me all week, and I would like to talk about it.”
Unlike Ella, Ben had grown up in a home where everything was discussed.
If someone had an issue, it was addressed.
If someone was upset about something, they sat down and talked it out.
Unaware that was not how Ella was raised, Ben said, “I really did not like how you froze me out all week. From the minute I screwed up last Sunday, you have been acting really weird toward me. You distanced yourself from me and did not take my calls. I know you were upset, but we could have talked about it. We could have worked at finding a solution if one was needed.”
Without addressing what Ben was saying, Ella cut in and said, “Well, good for us, we don’t need a solution, so let’s just forget about all of that.”
Ben wasn’t ready to do that. Instead, he said, “I agree, but what if something like this happens again? We need to talk about it now, so we are better able to address it in the future.”
“That is never going to happen. I have a doctor’s appointment to get an IUD. We have one more weekend together before that. I am going to get some sponges before I come. We will use them both. We will never have to have this conversation again.”
“I don’t mean the pregnancy scare conversation. I mean the part about where you froze me out. Refusing to take my calls. Basically ignoring me.”
Getting defensive, Ella said, “I never refused to take your calls. I texted you every day.” She caught herself before adding, “And stop being such a baby.” She knew that would not go down well or be very nice.
It was true that she had ignored him, but she did not want to talk about that.
She was not looking for a fight. She just wanted to talk to him and enjoy their time together without a big to-do.
“Okay, I will let it drop this time. But, the next time I go three days without hearing your voice because you are dodging my calls and only texting me, I am driving up there and demanding to know why. Remember, we talked about this on Saturday night. This is one of those parameters we talked about. My time spent talking with you is the best part of every day. I am not willing to give that up. If you are worried or upset, okay. I can handle that. Not talking to you, not knowing what you are thinking, I can’t. ”
Ella was left speechless by Ben’s words.
What he was asking was so foreign to her.
She was not sure she could give him what he wanted.
It was a big ask. She wanted to be all he needed.
She desperately wanted to be his girlfriend and be open and honest with him about everything.
But how did one learn to become something one had never been.
Not sure how she should respond, she said, “Okay, I hear you. Now can we talk about something much more interesting?”
“Sure,” said Ben laughing. “What would you like to talk about?”
“Tell me how much you missed me.”
A roar of laughter boomed over the line, “That, my sweet Ella, I can do.” And that was exactly what Ben proceeded to do for the better part of the next two hours.
A couple of days before Ella was to meet Ben, she decided she was tired of borrowing Julia’s things.
If this was going to be an ongoing thing, it was time she got her own lingerie.
She and Julia spent a long day at the outlets, shopping for new clothes.
Until now, Ella had lived in jeans, T-shirts, and sundresses.
They were all church appropriate and did not make her feel sexy or grown-up.
Given her new college graduate status, she wanted a more sophisticated look.
While they were out, Ella also ran by the pharmacy.
She told Julia she thought she would need some sponges because condoms alone were not enough protection as her research had proven.
By the end of the day, Ella had purchased several new outfits, including two new lingerie sets, one in black and one in red, some new heels, and some toiletries for the weekend—all of which she stored at Julia’s until her trip on Friday.
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San Luis Obispo, California
On Friday, Ella again hitched a ride from her friend she had been ride-sharing with for three years.
He had elected to finish the class with the new instructor.
She got to the hotel around 3:00 in the afternoon.
Ben was not there yet, but he had again reserved a room.
When he rolled in around 5:00, Ella met him at the door with a big, sloppy wet kiss.
The rest of the afternoon was spent much like the previous one minus the shower issue.
Ella felt better about having double protection.
Both Friday and Saturday nights, Ben took Ella out for nice dinners.
She enjoyed dressing up in her new sexy dresses and heels.
She typically wore sandals and tennis shoes.
Wearing the three- and four-inch wedges she bought to go with her new clothes gave her some much needed height and boosted her confidence.
Gone was the wall that had separated Ben and Ella the last time they had been here.
The conversation never stopped, and Ella felt very secure in their relationship.
On Sunday, when it was time to leave, Ella had to fight back tears.
Leaving Ben felt like she was leaving a part of herself.
Even though Ben assured her they would see each other in a few weeks, Ella could not help but feel a sense of foreboding as she rode away from him, thinking that the carefree days they had enjoyed were somehow coming to an end.