Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
FINLEY
The next day, Ai set out to help Amelia and her party become more acquainted with The Mystic.
A grand tour and introductions to the crew members.
If it went well, it would take most of their time until they arrived at Garmsby, which gave Finley plenty of time to get caught up with the crew and news of her other ships as well as get Rafe to teach her more about death.
Why she hadn’t thought to work with a follower of Stula like this before was beyond her.
Death was such a large part of her life, it was high time she knew more about it anyway.
She sat at her desk and sighed at the sight of papers stacked like a rickety old staircase in a tower.
Being the captain of the most notorious of pirate ships and being in control of several fleets wasn’t all adventures and treasure seeking.
There was organization and business and management that had to be done as well.
Sometimes Finley didn’t mind those aspects.
It gave her time to gather her thoughts and map out her plans.
Then there were days like this when all she wanted was to be a fish floating outside of the ship listening in on Ai’s conversations with Dusan and Amelia.
She wanted to be out on the deck with the crew listening to their stories and having a drink like they had the night before after supper.
Besides, she had a headache still from all that. They’d picked up barrels of rum while she was gone and saved the best for her return.
But this was her responsibility, and if she wanted The Mystic to continue on in their success and if she wanted her own reach and power to grow, paperwork had to be done.
Finley plopped herself down on the cushioned chair, grabbed the first stack, and propped her feet on the desk to dive into the reading.
She’d been there for almost an hour and finished her coffee when someone appeared on her desk.
Finley swore and yelled and pushed herself away to get a better look. There was Rafe, sitting there as though he had been the whole time, with a wolfish smile on his face. “I was wondering where you were hiding.”
“What are you doing in here?” Finley asked and took in a few deep breaths. She hoped her face wasn’t too flushed. The last thing she needed was for Rafe to think he flustered her. And he didn’t. Only when he randomly appeared on top of her desk.
“I thought you wanted to learn about death.”
“Yes, but not with you barging in when you’re not invited.”
“And you don’t go where you please, when you please, whether people want you to or not?”
Finley’s lip curled. Of course she did. She considered herself an expert at sneaking into places without others noticing and surprising them with her presence.
But it was different when she was on the other end.
She stood and took a large step forward to face him nose to nose.
She was almost as tall as him at this angle.
“Fine. Let’s start with how you got tied to Stula. ”
“And why are we starting there?”
“Because it might give us a clue as to how you’re attached to her and how to break the bond.”
Obviously.
“So helping me is a higher priority than learning more about the zombies? I’m flattered. Not that I’ve agreed to breaking my bond, mind you.”
She scoffed. He hadn’t been putting up much of a fight either which meant she could put that flimsy offer to the side until necessary.
The truth of it was, the zombies made her uncomfortable, especially after the uneasy feeling she had with Dusan.
Death Finley could handle. But once a person was dead, that was it.
They were done. These things were certainly not done. It made her skin crawl.
“I don’t feel like getting my boots dirty today,” she said instead of sharing that piece of information with him.
A sly side smile crept across his face. “Of course. A pirate getting her boots dirty would be a tragedy. But fine. If you really want to know. I was a forest dweller with fae heritage. Part fae part human, so I didn’t have the long lifespan my relatives did.
I envied them and their longevity. So, I evaded death.
Living in Eral has its dangers, and I should have died countless times because I would test myself.
I pushed my body and spirit to see how far I could go without actually dying.
Aytigin and I have that in common. Apparently, Stula didn’t like that.
Then, one winter, I almost froze to death and was starving.
One day I was weak and fell into a river.
Stula found me there and pulled me out, death surrounding me and dripping off my body like a frozen shroud.
I could taste it coming. She must have been a little impressed with how long I lasted because she offered me a bargain.
Go with her to her realm and be done with this life, or bind myself to her as her prince, to kill who she told me to and live forever. ”
Finley hadn’t expected him to answer, and the story caught her off guard. He said it so matter of fact, without emotion. These were facts about his life and nothing else.
“Sounds like you made the right choice to me, and you seem to get some sort of pleasure carrying out Stula’s wishes.”
“It is an honor,” Rafe repeated as he had back in the prison wagon. He propped his foot up on the desk and circled his arms around his knee. “But even I know now looking back how young and foolish I was.”
“But you get to see everything,” Finley said with a scoff, surprised at his words.
For someone so glad to serve the goddess, he sounded positively mournful.
“You never have to worry about missing something because you have the opportunity to see and do anything you want. All gifts come at a price. You wanted eternal life and did what you had to do to get it.”
Rafe let out a dark chuckle and shook his head. “Spoken like a true mortal.”
“So you wish to die?”
The question hung in the small gap between them like a thick fog. She should have stepped back and given them both space. There was no reason for her to be standing so close. But she didn’t. Finley wouldn’t be the first to back away.
“Not particularly. But if the bond were to break, I’d like to live out the rest of what would have been my normal lifespan. Then, when Stula is ready to have me, she can.”
“What if the only way to be free of the bond is to die?”
It took him a moment to give an answer to that, but he looked straight into her eyes and held her gaze. “Then maybe that’s what I deserve.”
Finley swallowed a lump forming in her throat. She should step away. End this conversation and get to what they needed to. “You’re a fool.”
Rafe cocked his head to the side. “And what about you? Why do you want your curse broken? There are people with real conditions that have nothing to do with magic where they fall asleep and need rest, and they learn to manage it and live full lives. There are worse things than needing the occasional nap.”
As if he knew anything about it. Finley crossed her arms in front of her, providing a barrier between their bodies. “Those people don’t get progressively worse knowing that someday they’ll be in an eternal sleep never to wake again.”
“The end comes for us all. I would think you, of all people, would know that.”
Considering his tale, he, of all people, should understand not wanting eternal sleep.
He wanted to live a whole life and experience everything like she did.
If he didn’t, he never would have accepted Stula’s offer in the first place.
She took a step back and busied herself with straightening the papers Rafe had disheveled with his arrival.
“I do know that. But that doesn’t mean I want it sooner than necessary.
I want to see it all. Do everything. Feel everything. I’m not giving it up.”
That was what The Mystic gave her. All those years ago when she stowed away, there was something about this ship that drew Finley in.
When she thought everything was hopeless and would be stuck forever, this ship gave her the freedom to see everything and do everything the world had to offer.
And she would do everything in her power to keep it.
Rafe moved his body to follow her, though.
He remained on the desk but wouldn’t let her get away from him and his questions.
“And what haven’t you seen and experienced Madam Pirate Queen?
” He outstretched his arms at the cabin around them.
“You’ve lived more of life before the age of thirty than most people do in their entire lifetime. What more could you want?”
She slammed her hands on the desk and glared at him.
He didn’t even flinch. “Everything! Don’t you understand what gift you have?
There’s always more to see. More people to meet.
Adventures to be had. Places to see. There are worlds outside of this realm people haven’t explored.
I want to see them. I want to feel every emotion and experience there is in the world. I don’t want it to go to waste.”
“Foolish greedy mortal. You can’t have everything, Finley. You need to accept that.”
Finley moved closer to him again, even closer than she was before. She could see every eyelash, freckle, and spark in his eyes. “Never. And anyone who gives up on that is the fool. Not me.”
“I’ve lived longer than you can imagine, and in time you realize that people are the same no matter how long you live. History repeats itself time and time again, and no one learns anything. Each adventure looks the same. Be grateful for your limited time so you’ll be able to enjoy it.”