Chapter 36
It had been four days without Evelina. That was sufficient time for his wife to have space to gather her own thoughts and to decide how she felt about him.
Stephan forced away the lump in his throat and smoothed invisible wrinkles down his jacket.
He stood in front of Evelina’s house. It was like any other townhouse in Mayfair, pristine and elegant with well-groomed gardens.
Never before had a woman’s townhouse seemed so intimidating.
Stephan grimaced. When he had first resolved to come to Evelina’s house, he had told himself that he could not make the situation any worse than it already was. Now that he had actually arrived, Stephan was not entirely certain that was true.
At least, he could tell her that she had been right about the forgery.
That was something small to offer, a proverbial olive branch.
But Evelina was a clever woman. If Stephan told her that there was no stipulation in the contract which required either a wife or an heir, she would realize that there was no reason for them to remain married.
He grimaced and forced his feet to move toward her door, even though his limbs were leaden.
If Evelina no longer wished to be married to him, the gracious thing to do would be to respect her wishes.
Did he have it in him to be so gracious, though?
Without the contract and Her Grace looming over them like a malevolent specter, they could just be two married people who learned to love one another.
The door opened as he reached it, Evelina’s butler bowing deeply. “Your Grace.”
Stephan smiled awkwardly. Had Evelina told her household about their argument?
The thought that she might have was unsettling.
He cleared his throat, the will in his pocket burning like a branding.
The only thing that drove him more than the memory of that will was the possibility that he might see Evelina once more.
He was prepared to do whatever might be required to enter her good graces once more.
“I have come to see Evelina,” he said.
The butler’s expression hardened, and Stephan knew in that moment that Evelina had told her staff about the argument.
Or if not, the servants had already gossiped with one another and spread the word.
There was no other reason for Evelina’s butler to glare at him like that, as if Stephan was something disgusting that he had found on the bottom of his shoe.
“Regrettably, Her Grace is not here,” the butler said.
Stephan’s breath caught in his chest. “Where did she go?”
“I am uncertain that she wishes for you to know, Your Grace.”
Stephan crossed his arms and glared at the butler, who seemed entirely unintimidated. “I am her husband.”
“Indeed,” the butler said. “And as Her Grace’s butler, I answer to her. She has gone, and I will not reveal her whereabouts until she provides me with some indication that she wishes for you to know where she is.”
Stephan narrowed his eyes, trying to read the meaning of the man’s words. “Did Evelina expressly indicate that she did not wish for me to find her?” Stephan asked.
A tightness burned inside his chest, so painful that he found it difficult to draw breath. She could not remain angry at him forever, or so he hoped. Maybe he would deserve it.
“Was she…” Stephan trailed off, his face burning with shame. “Was she distraught when you saw her last?”
The butler sniffed. “I should think so, Your Grace.”
Stephan nodded and looked away. He scoffed quietly to himself.
How was he supposed to confront Evelina when he could not even endure the cold gaze of her butler?
He had done a terrible thing. Stephan had hurt Evelina deeply, and now, she did not even wish to see him.
It was maddening! How could he have been so foolish?
Why hadn’t he understood how valuable Evelina was and how dreadful he would feel at having driven her away?
“Well,” Stephan said after a while, “I suppose that I will have to find her on my own. Thank you for your aid.”
“A pleasure, as always.”
The butler bowed again and closed the door with more force than was necessary, which Stephan took as an indication that this butler had been in Evelina’s service for a long time. He did not fear losing his position after insulting the Duke of Rothbury. So brazen!
Stephan shook his head and returned to the coach, where his footman gave him a rueful look. “Where shall we go next, Your Grace?”
Where, indeed?
Stephan frowned, considering the question.
If Evelina was not at home, where might she have gone?
After leaving her, Stephan had gone with Murrayton; that was a chance meeting, but Stephan had appreciated it.
He had wanted companionship, someone to help him perceive things differently.
Would Evelina have made the same choice in those circumstances?
“To her sister’s house,” Stephan said at last. “Perhaps, she is there.”
There was something uniquely humiliating at admitting that he did not know where his own wife was.
Stephan grimaced, deciding that he would do well to be accustomed to humiliation.
Evelina’s sister would not be a sympathetic party, and he had no doubt that the woman would tell him precisely how she felt about him.
That was deserved, though. Evelina had not deserved everything that Stephan had said and done to her. She deserved to be loved more than any woman he had ever met, and Stephan was a failure for not ensuring that she knew just what a treasure she was.
“Yes, Your Grace.”
The footman bowed and opened the coach. Stephen climbed in and sat, his mind racing as he anticipated the coming encounter. If he could survive the Dowager Duchess of Rothbury, he could survive Evelina’s sister.
Probably.
* * *
Theodora, the Duchess of Hawthorne, had agreed to see Stephan.
He had been invited into her drawing room without hesitation.
She was there, bent over what seemed to be some manner of scientific text.
When Stephan tilted his head, he discerned the drawings of plants.
Her back was to him, and he cleared his throat to make her aware of his presence. Theodora’s shoulders pulled taut.
“So you have come,” she said.
Theodora spoke with gravitas, as if he was Sir Lancelot come to thwart the plans of the wicked Morgan le Fay.
“I had hoped that your sister would be here,” he said.
“Of course, you did.”
At last, she turned to him. Theodora crossed her arms and glowered at him, seemingly with no desire to hide her fury. Stephan had expected that, though. He began to suspect that everyone in Evelina’s life loathed him for what he had done, and Stephan reluctantly conceded that he deserved their ire.
“As it happens, I was not in London when you treated my sister so shamefully that she fled your house,” Theodora said.
“Perhaps that was for the best because ever since I heard of what happened, I have been thinking about how best to tell you what a detestable man you are. I doubt I would be capable of such restraint if I had been present when she arrived in tears.”
Stephan said nothing. He was not a man who took criticism often, but this—this was very much deserved. Maybe if he took Theodora’s fury, it would be enough to soothe his own guilt. He was receiving precisely what he deserved for making a terrible choice.
“You have some gall coming here,” Theodora continued. “My sister is not with me, but even if she was, I would not let you speak to her.”
Stephan sighed. “She is truly not with you?”
“No,” Theodora said, defiantly raising her chin.
Stephan sank into the nearest chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. His breath came out in a huff of air. Theodora watched him warily from a small distance away. “I know that I wronged her,” Stephan said.
“Wonderful,” Theodora replied loftily. “You have discovered the obvious. I am certain that we are all very proud of you.”
“Will you listen?” he asked, his temper fraying.
Theodora waved a hand for him to continue, but her face remained as hard as stone. Convincing her to tell him where Evelina was would not be a simple task.
“Evelina is a good woman,” Stephan said. “I am a monster for not taking better care of her and for not treating her with the respect that a wife deserves.”
“You are,” Theodora agreed.
Stephan sensed the undercurrent of anger from her. It was apparent that Theodora doubted his sincerity. If anyone knew where Evelina was, it had to be her sister. Stephan must persuade her to tell him where Evelina was. If she did not…
If Theodora would not tell him, Stephan would have to speak to Evelina’s other friends. He would have to journey from townhouse to townhouse until he found her, and Stephan did not know if his pride could survive such a devastating blow.
“Please,” he said. “I know that I have mistreated her. Without Evelina, I am in agony. I care deeply for your sister, and I want nothing more than to prove that to her. If you will only let me see her, I can—I want to make amends.”
“I suppose you are worried,” Theodora said. “Your deadline is looming large, isn’t it? Now, you have lost the one woman who might give you a legitimate heir. That is unfortunate, but I—”
“I do not care about the deadline!” Stephan exclaimed. “It does not even matter anymore. There never was a deadline, only a desperate woman clinging to her ill-begotten power.”
Theodora frowned and perched on the arm of the nearest chair. The tiniest of cracks appeared in her stony face. “What do you mean?”
He quickly explained what he had learned about Her Grace’s forgery. When he was finished, Theodora stared at him with wide eyes and a startled hand held over her mouth. “Evelina did not need to marry you at all!”
He recoiled at the words, in part because he had already thought of that himself, and the thought of Evelina leaving him was…unbearable. “I know,” Stephan said. “I know, and I want to remain married to her. I—I do love her. I want to be with her.”
“So why didn’t you tell her that?” Theodora asked quietly.
Stephan clasped his hands together and let his forearms rest on his knees.
“Because I was caught off-guard by the strength of my own feelings for her. I did not expect that I would love Evelina, but I do. The realization frightened me because I never—I never thought I would love anyone. I always resolved to be alone, to never let anyone close to me. And she…I want to tell her that. I want to give her a choice about whether we ought to remain married or not, even if being left by her will break my heart.”
“Oh,” Theodora whispered. “Oh, you…”
“You want her to have a choice, too,” Stephan said. “That is what any sister would want. Please. Just tell me where she is, so I can go to her. I want to tell her the truth about everything. I want her to know that I love her and want to be with her.”
“And if she does not want to be with you, will you truly let her go?” Theodora asked quietly. “Are you prepared to do that?”
She could not have hurt him worse if she had risen from that chair and physically attacked him.
Stephan nodded. “Yes, for Evelina—I am prepared to do whatever must be done. If she does not wish to remain married to me any longer, I am prepared to respect that choice and every other choice she might make.”
Theodora slowly nodded. Her eyes took on a distant look, as if she watched something far away that he could not see.
Then, she took a shuddering breath. “If you have lied to me or if you upset her…I will never forgive you,” she said, her voice trembling.
“I am only agreeing to help you because I believe it is best for her.”
“I understand.”
His heart was in his throat, and as he stood, desperation surged through him.
Theodora nodded. “Evelina is at our mother’s house.”