Prologue
Urgent Notice: Termination of Account
Dear Miss Georgia Grey,
We are writing to inform you that your account with The Office Guest app is officially terminated as of today.
Due to repeated violation(s)—some of which are addressed below—you may no longer browse our stellar candidates or request temporary stand-ins for business and familial occasions.
As a reminder, you are not allowed to ask our “guests” to show up to your job for you, “stand outside [your] bastard boss’s window and throw up a middle finger while blasting that ‘I Don’t F*ck with You’ rap song,” or “deflate the tires of whatever overpriced sports car is parked in the CEO spot.”
Please revisit our terms & conditions.
You may reapply for access after one (1) calendar year.
Sincerely,
The Office Guest Team
P.S. Your “secret” accounts—Bee Bee Grey, Georgia on Your Mind, & Please Help Me (I Hate My Boss & My Life)—are terminated as well.