Chapter 8 Aspen #2
My words seemed to snap North out of it. He ran a hand over his face and gave me a sheepish smile.
“I’m sorry, it just took me by surprise. What’s your name?”
“Aspen,” I answered quietly. The shift was wild.
“That’s a beautiful name,” he said with a small smile that changed his face from stoic, to almost pretty. There was a softness to this beta that struck me, almost more omega in nature despite his lack of sweetness to his scent.
Cole stepped in close, tilting my face up to look at him. His scent wrapped around me in a reassuring way as he leaned in close, forcing me to listen.
“I’m sorry, chaos. I promise, none of this is on you. It’s been a while since I’ve been home,” Cole supplied. “We haven’t exactly had a brotherly relationship in a long time.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to give me a chance,” Jack clarified. Then his gaze shifted to North then back to me. “Us a chance.”
“Are you two a pack?” I questioned. The beta still looked like he was in shock, and I was trying not to take offense to his lack of answer.
It all suddenly became way too much, like my skin was itching for me to move, to put space between me and the drama unfolding here.
“I think I need some fresh air,” I said, turning quickly and rushing past Cole and through the door again. There was no hope of finding a back door, so I quickly hurried through the front door and onto the porch. With hurried steps, I followed it around toward the back, out of view.
It was so silly that their rejection hurt more than finding out my last pack cheated on me. They said not to worry, but I could feel the tension. It was thick in the air, rippling between us and placing a wedge that didn’t make sense.
Nothing about my love life had ever been storybook worthy. My last pack barely tolerated me. I see that now. I kind of forced myself upon Cole, and we used each other. At least, that was the plan.
But now that his family was involved, he didn’t look thrilled.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
“There you are.”
The gentle voice had me turning to see North standing next to me. I hadn’t even realized he followed me. I’d been hanging onto the railing, staring at nothing, not even seeing the beautiful landscape out here. Hell, I barely felt the cold.
“Sorry, I just needed a minute,” I said, blinking back tears that were burning my eyes. He seemed to notice, his teal eyes studying me as his frown deepened.
“I’m sorry, Aspen. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he said gently. “I’m not great with words or people. Outside of Jack, but he’s used to my weird ways. So is the town.”
“Like I said, it’s fine,” I said quickly. “I’ll be okay.”
“No, that’s not what I want at all,” he protested, stepping closer so I was hit with that scent again, only now it was warmer, no longer charred.
“I know first meetings aren’t exactly the time for confessions, but I’ve been in love with my best friend for a long time. And I saw you scent-match him, and panicked.”
Whatever I thought he was going to say to reassure me, it was definitely not that.
“What?” I started, then waved it off. “No, I don’t need you to repeat, but why didn’t you just tell him? Does he not feel the same?”
He let out a sigh and joined me, leaning against the railing and looking off, though probably not seeing any more than I was.
“Sometimes it feels like he does. Like he’s the only one that really knows me, and he sees me for more than my faults. And then he just stops himself. At one point, I’d even convinced myself that we were scent-matches. His scent is something I could drown in, but I’ve never seen him react to mine.”
“Maybe he’s not sure that you feel the same way,” I mused. “Sometimes, alphas can be a bit slow to see the obvious.”
I didn’t know what bizarre world I’d landed in that I was giving relationship advice to a scent-match. One I had no idea how he felt about us matching.
“I’m just not sure how to handle this now,” he admitted. “If I tell him and things get weird, then what? Am I supposed to stay in this pack and be heartbroken for the rest of my life?”
“Just for the record, if you guys are meant to be together, you’re meant to be together. I would never stand in the way of that.”
“It’s been so long. I’m not sure I can even say anything at this point.”
“Of course, you can,” I said, not letting him give up that easily.
“Look. I don’t even know you outside of your scent.
You can tell me to shove my advice wherever it goes, but that man did not look like an asshole to me.
He looks like a man that has been hurt that his brother stayed away for so long, but not mean.
I don’t think he’d ever make it weird for you. ”
I turned, my hip resting against the icy railing and arms crossing to keep warm as I stared at him. Something was telling me to not let this moment pass without putting my own stake in it.
Clearly, I had to. They were too much of a mess to see the bigger picture, and I was done being complacent when it came to my love life. I’d let my exes barrel into my life with their pretty words, convincing me that I should give them a chance.
With these men, I felt something different. Something I wanted to explore no matter what.
At the end of this trip, I wanted no regrets. I’d promised myself I was going to live life my way. This was me doing that.
“Whatever you have with Jack is different than what you would have with me. I’m not asking you to come up with a solution right this second, but I’d love to give this a chance. If you want to.”
“I really would like that,” he admitted, his voice shaking slightly. His eyes were wide and open, imploring me to believe him.
North was a gentle beta, the kind that wasn’t outspoken. I had a feeling he also lacked confidence. Years of being in the shadows, not letting yourself feel what you feel, would do that.
That was something we were absolutely going to have to fix.
But first, I had to talk to Cole, and maybe even Jack, and figure out what the hell was going to happen now.