Chapter 5
River
Once I’m in my room, I go straight to my nest and hit the button on the tiny battery operated light I have on the wall inside.
I pull the door shut and scoot back as far as I can into the corner.
I didn’t lock my door. There’s no reason to.
My father would just take it off the hinges if I did, and I’d never have a barrier from him.
It’s a small price, but at least if he comes in, I’ll hear him.
“This can’t be happening.” I sniffle. “How can a father sell his own child to pay his debts?” I wipe away the tears falling. “Why me? Did I treat someone horribly in another life? Is this my penance?”
With each thought, my heart races, and I pray Storm can find the items I need so we can run.
Far away from here. Even if he doesn’t, staying here isn’t an option for me any longer.
Those men are dangerous and vile, and I haven’t even met the third one yet.
The one who knows how I smell. I shudder just thinking about it.
Sweat beads on my forehead, and I gasp for air.
I need to escape, and I only have one way to do it right now.
Pulling back the carpet, I find my razor blade, holding it tightly between my fingers.
I breathe, needing to calm down just a little so I don’t cut too deeply.
This takes control. It’s the only control I have in this wretched house, under my father’s wrathful eye.
I pull my dress up, letting my legs fall apart, exposing my creamy thighs and the raised white scars they hold.
Just one cut, maybe two. It’s all I need to just calm the turmoil raging within me. To quiet the pain I’m feeling and replace it with something else. Relief.
My hand trembles as I place the sharp blade against my flesh, pressing down, gritting my teeth as I pierce my skin and dragging it downward as blood runs down my thigh.
A calm begins to take over, but it’s not enough.
I need more. I repeat the steps until all my anxiety has drifted away, and I let my head fall back against the wall.
“Storm, please hurry and come home.” I whisper to the wind, before cleaning the razor blade and storing it back in its hiding place. If those men are my future, then I firmly plan not to have one if I can’t escape.
Sliding down in my nest, I pull my blanket over me and roll to my side, pressing my stuffie close to my chest and drift off to sleep.
“River, wake up.” A firm hand shakes my shoulder as Storm’s gravelly voice fills my ears.
My eyes open slowly. “You’re home.”
“I am, but we need to go. Come on. I have your bags packed already.” His smile beams at me, and I take hold of my stuffie and crawl out of the closet.
“Dad’s selling me to a pack,” rushes from my mouth, but with the way he’s looking at me, his brows furrowed, eyes full of sadness, it’s clear he knows.
“That's why we’re leaving. I’m not going to let that happen.” He grips my hand in his as he leads me from my bedroom. I can hear Dad’s snores from here. Storm turns to face me, placing a finger over his lips, warning me to be quiet.
We tip-toe past him, and it’s not until we’re outside that I realize I’ve been holding my breath.
“Where are we going?”
“Far from here.” We rush to his car, and he opens the passenger door and helps me inside before heading to the driver’s side and getting in. “I have something to tell you.”
“What?”
“I found my pack. We’re going to meet them now, and they’re going to help me keep you safe.”
He found his pack. We’re leaving. Finally, life is going the way it should.
“Where are you bitch?” My father’s angry voice slices through my dream, waking me.
It was a dream. I’m still stuck here with the monster I call my father.
I could stay quiet, hoping he’d tire and go look for me somewhere else or drown himself in a bottle of whiskey.
“If you don’t get your ass out here now, I’m going to beat your ass.” He growls and I can’t help but whine and crawl out of my hiding place. “Get over here now!” he orders.
I stand and scurry across the room, stopping when I’m right in front of him, head down and hands clasped together in front of me. I bite my lip, tensing my body, preparing for whatever he’s about to do to me.
“How dare you embarrass me like you did tonight.” His hand shoots out, gripping my hair, causing me to lose my balance and fall. ‘That’s right, bitch, bow at my feet like you should.”
“Dad, please.” I beg. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” I cry.
“Lies. Nothing but lies ever comes from your mouth. You'll wish that you’d learned your place soon enough. The Hartman Pack will take great joy in breaking you.”
“What?” I blurt before even realizing.
“There’s no what. They will be your mates, and I will be free of the debt I owe them. Why they even considered you as payment is beyond me. You’re nothing but a worthless bitch.”
“Please, Dad… Don’t do this.” I beg him, gripping onto his pants as he pulls on my hair harder.
He just laughs. One so bold and taunting, I feel my body begin to shake.
“It’s done, and why wouldn’t I? I’m going out and want dinner cleaned up.
” He releases my hair and turns, taking a couple steps to the door, then pauses, looking back at me.
“Don’t think about leaving this house. If you do, being mated to the Hartman Pack will seem like a gift compared to what I’ll do to you.
” He slams the door shut behind him, leaving me a crumpled mess on the floor.
I take a few minutes and cry for the life I’ve been given.
The one to come. A small part of me just wants to end it now.
It would be so easy to just take my razor blade and go into the bathroom.
I’d strip, fill the tub, then climb inside and slit my wrists.
It would be scary, painful, and I’d probably have regrets, but all this pain would be over.
Storm wouldn’t have a reason to stay here any longer.
Everyone would be happy, and my father would get what he deserves.
Storm. Sweet and caring Storm. My death would gut him, but he’d get over it, eventually. He’d move away from this godforsaken town and find happiness.
I don’t move. And I don’t get my blade. I can’t do that to him.
Making him sad isn’t something I want to do.
The Hartman Pack isn’t taking me anytime soon, so I have time to make a plan.
I just need to clear my mind, keep my head down and keep my dad happy.
Storm should be home soon anyway, and he’s already planning for us to run.
I just need to hold out a little bit longer.
“You need to be strong, River. You can do this,” I whisper, trying to convince myself every word I say is true.
Slowly, I get on my knees and stand. Blood is running down my leg, and small crimson stains adorn my dress.
I carefully pull it over my head and add it to my dirty clothes.
I’ll handle those tomorrow. Opening my dresser, I get out some pajamas, then tiptoe over to my door, opening it just a little and listen. It’s quiet.
“Dad,” I shout, then wait for an answer. It never comes. He has to be gone already, or just passed out. While both are great options, I’m hoping for the first.
I rush out of my room and straight to the bathroom and clean up before dressing. Once I’m done, I creep down the hallway, just in case I was wrong and he’s here. But he’s not. The lights are all on, and the table is still covered with the remnants of our dinner.
“Of course he couldn’t clear the table.” I mumble as I pick up the plates, carefully stacking and juggling them as if I were in a carnival, and take them to the kitchen. I thought he could at least do that much.
It’s a tedious job, but after thirty minutes the table is cleared, leftovers are put away and the dishes are washed and in the strainer. Opening the refrigerator, I get a can of soda, then turn off the lights, double check the door is locked, and head to my room. I’m ready for this day to end.
I close my door behind me when I enter my bedroom, making sure to lock it. If my dad comes home in a rage and wants me to be his punching bag, at least I’ll have time to protect myself and lessen his blows. The loss of the door seems insignificant at the moment, versus not being hurt.
Knowing I have school tomorrow, has me sick to my stomach. I wish Storm was here.
Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I pick up my phone, my fingers hovering over the message button. Do I bother him? I debate on it, but finally give in.
Me: How are things going?
I sit there, staring at the screen, waiting for him to answer. A minute passes and nothing.
“He’s busy, River,” I say softly. A tear rolls down my face, dropping onto my screen at the exact moment it vibrates in my hand.
Storm: Good. Better than that. I have so much to tell you.
My fingers hover over the keyboard on the screen when I see another message from him pop up.
Storm: I’ve found my pack. And there’s a beta, she’s… fuck, she’s everything. I know she’s not an omega, but none of us care.
He’s found someone. All the dread and fear in my heart turn to happiness. I can’t have him come back to me. Knowing that he’s finally finding the happiness he deserves. Him trying to save me will only ruin that.
Storm: They can’t wait to meet you. I’ve told them all about my amazing sister.
Another tear falls, and I don’t even try to wipe it away. A sniffle softly, almost as if I’m afraid he’ll be able to hear me through the text.
Storm: Are you okay, River?
Me: Yeah, I’m fine. Tired.
Storm: Have you been staying away from Dad? Has he started anything? Hurt you?
Do I lie? Tell the truth? He’s found his pack. If I tell him what’s going on, he’ll rush back here. I can’t have him give up anything more for me.
Me: Yeah. It’s all peachy here. I’ve been busy at school and staying in my room when he’s here.
But I kind of wonder when he’s coming back.
Me: I’m so happy you found your pack. You should stay with them.
I don’t have to wait for him to respond because my phone starts ringing. I’ve got to get myself together because he’ll know something’s wrong just by my voice. I press the button to answer, but don’t have time to say a word.
“River, are you okay?” I can hear the panic in his voice.
“I’m fine. I…I just miss you.” Then, needing to change the subject, “You found your pack. I’m so happy; that’s amazing.” My voice lifts, a mixture of true joy and covering my sadness of losing Storm.
“I did. And you’ll meet them. I’d be home already to get you if I didn’t have to wait for the supplier to get the suppressants and blockers we need. It’ll be another week. Can you wait that long?”
A week. He’s going to be gone another week.
“Okay. Yeah, I can wait. Dad’s been away from the house a lot, so it hasn’t been bad.” Not true, but it’ll make it easier for Storm if he isn’t worrying about me. He doesn’t need to know that Dad sold me like cattle.
“It’s just so hard. The Foundation is really making it hard to get the items.”
“I understand. We’ve just never been away from each other this long.”
“One week, River. One week and I’ll be home. We’re going to need to talk though. Now that I have my pack, I want to bring you back here with us.” Another tear rolls down my cheek.
“We’re getting a house, and it’ll have room for you.” He pauses, and I can hear him take a deep breath. “Can you finish school here? I don’t want to be away from here for long, and I’m not leaving you. If I have to make a choice though, I’ll be there. With you.”
I shake my head, knowing he can’t see it. There’s no way in hell he’s giving up his pack for me. Not now. Not ever.
“I want to be with you too. I’ll be ready to go when you get here.”
“One week. I promise.” I wipe the tears from my eyes as his voice drifts through the phone again. “I love you, River. Just stay away from Dad and I’ll be home soon.”
“I love you too, Storm. One week.” With my last word, I end the call and plug my phone back into the charger. I curl up on the bed, pulling the covers over my head, and cry myself to sleep.