Chapter Twenty-Five
Silas
The hour's crawl by after Joseph leaves my office. His words echo in my mind, cutting deeper than I wish they did. You have to talk to her. You have to fix this. He’s right. Damn him, he’s right.
I stare at the papers scattered across my desk, but the words blur together, meaningless. My focus isn’t on work. It’s on her. Danae. And the way she looked this morning. She was hurt, tears welling up in her eyes. I can’t get it out of my head. Can’t stop hating myself for doing that to her.
I rub my temples, leaning back in my chair. I’ve spent so long keeping people at arm’s length, especially Omegas. Letting anyone in feels like tearing open a wound I’ve fought years to close. But Danae…she’s different. She slipped past every defense before I even realized it.
Damn. I care about her so much .
I’ve been furious with myself for feeling this way, for letting her matter so much. But maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop fighting it.
Evening falls, the shadows stretching across my office. I glance out the window and see Adriel’s car pulling into the estate. My heart jumps. She’s back. I watch as Danae steps out, her laughter floating up faintly through the glass.
This is it. I’ve got to talk to her.
I stand abruptly, smoothing down my shirt. My hands are clammy, and my pulse is racing. I hate how vulnerable this feels, but I can’t ignore it any longer. I take a deep breath, muttering to myself, “I have to do this now.”
My steps echo through the hall as I descend the stairs. The cool evening air greets me when I step outside. There they are. Danae and Adriel walking toward the entrance. She’s smiling at something he said, her face lit up in a way that makes my chest ache.
But then her eyes land on me, and the smile vanishes.
The cautious look she gives me feels like a prick in my skin. I swallow hard, forcing myself to keep walking.
“Danae,” I say, my voice quieter than I intended. “Can we talk?”
She hesitates, her expression unreadable. The silence stretches, and I feel like the ground might swallow me whole. I try again, my voice firmer this time. “Please. I need to talk to you.”
Adriel glances between us first, then his gaze lingers on me. He pats my shoulder, his touch reassuring, and gives me a small, encouraging nod before walking away. I silently thank him for understanding.
Now it’s just us.
“Walk with me,” I say, gesturing toward the gardens. “Please.”
She doesn’t respond right away, but then she nods, her movements hesitant. I lead the way, the gravel crunching beneath our feet. The air is heavy with the scent of flowers, but it does little to calm the storm in my chest.
I take a look at her, her face unreadable, and force myself to begin. “Danae, I…” The words catch in my throat, but I push on. “I’m really sorry. Not just for the way I spoke to you this morning or the things I said. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you since you arrived here. I’ve been cruel, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”
She stops walking, her eyes widening in surprise. The shock on her face twists something inside me, but I know I can’t stop now.
“The truth is,” I continue, my voice raw, “I’ve lashed out at you for something you had no hand in. Something I’ve been carrying around for years, almost all my life. But it’s time to move past it. I want to move past it. But I need to tell you about it.”
She’s watching me intently now, her eyes searching mine. She doesn’t say anything, but the way she listens…like she truly wants to understand, gives me the courage to keep going.
“There’s a tradition in my family,” I begin, my gaze dropping to the path in front of us. “As with most families here in Howls Peak. The family’s head Alpha always has a butler. This butler serves the Alpha until there’s a new head Alpha. The bond they form is significant.”
I pause, my throat tightening. “When I was younger, the man who was to be my butler was Bernard. He was the son of my father’s butler and ten years older than me. But he wasn’t just a butler to me. He was my friend. An older brother, in every way that mattered.”
I glance at her, and she nods slightly, encouraging me to go on.
“But that bond fell apart. It happened when I was fifteen.”
And as I speak, the memory comes over me, vivid and sharp, and suddenly, I’m there again.
I’m fifteen.
Sweating. Shaking. My skin feels like it’s on fire, my body trembling as the symptoms of my first rut claw its way through me. My pheromones leak out uncontrollably despite my best efforts. This is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
Nothing I’ve ever read about ruts or ever been taught about them could have possibly prepared me for this. We were told how it would change our body, but no one explained this strange urge…
My body feels alien. I feel restless, needy in ways I don’t even have the words for. I feel prompted, pushed to act, to move, but I don’t know what this urge is asking of me.
My body is taunt, and my member bulges hard against my trousers, sending a strange sensation through me. My mind is foggy, my thoughts slipping through my fingers.
Then the door creaks open, and apprehension washes over me. There’s something strange in the air now. I don’t understand what it is.
“Silas,” a familiar voice says softly. I look up to see Madeline, Bernard’s betrothed Omega, stepping into the room. She’s carrying a tray with tea, her movements graceful and calm. “I thought you might need some tea.”
She sets the tray down on the bedside table and steps closer. But as she does, her movements slow.
Her eyes glaze over, and I see her nostrils flare slightly. A bead of sweat forms on her temple, and then she’s staring at me with an intensity that makes my stomach twist.
“Madeline?” I ask, my voice hoarse and shaky. “What’s wrong?”
I have been too young to learn how ruts affected others in school, so I don’t understand what is happening to her.
Madeline doesn’t answer. Instead, she takes another step toward me, and I feel a wave of something primal…something powerful rising within me. A fierce desire, but I don’t know what to do with it. It’s exactly how they said it would be in all the teachings in class, but what’s terrifying is it seems to be affecting Madeline.
“You’ve gotten so big,” she murmurs, her voice breathy. “So strong. You’re a man now.”
My heart pounds against my ribs, fear surging through me. “Madeline, what are you doing? Please, stop.”
“Relax,” she whispers, her voice almost hypnotic. “Don’t you feel it? That urge bubbling just under your skin?”
“This isn’t right,” I stammer, my voice cracking. “I feel weird…”
She steps closer, her hand reaching for the buttons on her blouse. Panic grips me.
“What are you doing?” I cry, my voice breaking. “Stop!”
She doesn’t listen. She takes my hand and presses it against her chest, her skin warm beneath my palm.
I jerk my hand away, terrified. “No! This isn’t right!”
She pushes me, and I stumble back onto the bed. My mind races, my body trembling with confusion and fear. She climbs on top of me, the scent of her pheromones overwhelming my senses.
And then the door bursts open.
“WHAT THE HELL?” Bernard’s voice roars through the room.
Madeline is yanked off me so quickly that I barely register what’s happening. Bernard’s claws are out, his face a mask of fury as he throws her to the floor.
I scramble to my feet, my heart hammering in my chest. “Bernard…I …I tried to stop her!”
But when he turns to me, his eyes are filled with a rage so intense that it makes his face almost unrecognizable.
Before either of us can say another word, my father bursts in. His eyes widen as he takes in the scene.
“Oh my God. You’ve started your first rut,” he says, his voice grim.
“Your pheromones are too strong,” he says, barking orders to Bernard. “Get every Omega off the premises now. And get him some suppressants.”
The memory fades, and I’m back in the present. But the pain from it lingers, pressing down on my chest.
I glance at Danae, her expression a mix of shock and sympathy. “The last thing I remember from that day,” I say quietly, “was the way Bernard looked at me. The fury in his eyes.”
“That’s horrible,” she whispers, her voice filled with emotion.
I nod, sighing deeply. “Bernard understood it wasn’t my fault. But sometimes, understanding doesn’t change how you feel. He could never look at Madeline the same way again. Eventually, he asked my father to release him from his duty. And just like that, he was gone. I lost a friend. A brother.
“That’s the anger I’ve carried around for so long,” I continue, my voice thick with everything I’ve held in for so long. “Every Omega I’ve ever met since then, I see her in their eyes. Every time they come towards me, all I see is the same look she had in her eyes that day. That crazed look, just being mindlessly controlled by pheromones. I hated it. I hated it so much.” I inhale deeply, my focus firmly on Danae as I continue. “And I’ve taken it out on you, even though you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry, Danae. Truly.”