Chapter 19
Nineteen
Claire
I don’t know where I am but whatever I’m holding onto is like my own personal heater. Lifting my head up, I see Seth, looking at me, Scream playing in the background.
“You made it about fifteen minutes and slept through the rest of it,” he teases me.
I try to look at the clock to check the time, but there’s nothing. The room is quiet besides the sounds from my laptop—ominous early 2000s music from the soundtrack to be exact.
Like he can read my mind, Seth says, “No power. Generator went off. Jess came up and said someone will come and get it right by the time tonight rolls around. Good thing we charged your laptop, huh?”
Damn. I don’t know what’s more surprising: that I took a nap or I missed someone at the door.
When was the last time I took a nap? Couldn’t tell you. Being manager for one of the biggest celebrities in the world doesn’t lend itself to taking many breaks.
My body sinks into Seth, his arm around me, the smell of vanilla still on our skin.
The grin that hits me is almost embarrassing, thinking of us in the shower.
Him cleaning me up after practically becoming feral with seeing his release on my skin.
And then the flip to taking care of me, even rubbing my shoulders, the knots still present from tumultuous travel days.
How is this man single?
My stomach growls and there’s nothing to muffle the sound.
Seth laughs as he offers me a plate. “Jess brought up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches… all from scratch. They make the freaking peanut butter.” He shakes his head while I sit up and take the plate.
“You’re lucky I like you enough not to have eaten both of them. ”
You’re lucky I like you.
The rush of his words wash over me, like his hands did earlier. My head feels like it floats while my skin touching him grounds me to the moment. And if that wasn’t enough, his hand rests on the top of my thigh and squeezes.
“Yahtzee!” I yell, seeing the five dice match. Threes have been hot this game.
Shaking his head, Seth grabs the dice. “You might win this one.”
We’re downstairs in the lounge, playing games in front of the fire. There are a few candles lit and a battery powered lantern, making it easy enough to see. Seth won the first game we played and I’m about to take the second.
According to Jess, she wants to wait until we’re almost ready for bed to run the generator. The weather hasn’t let up and part of me wishes I had boots and warmer clothes so we could play in the snow. How often could you say you built a snowman before Halloween?
It’s alarming how we’ve slipped into this couple facade. Like, his hand grabbing mine when we walk down the stairs, or the thigh squeezes, or the fucking way his eyes look when they land on me, more green than hazel today.
We sit fireside in matching crewneck sweatshirts, playing games and drinking hot toddies.
Jess promised they were her specialty and she isn’t wrong.
I’ve had this cocktail before, but there’s something different—I can’t quite place it—and I know I’m right, because she’s been teasing a secret ingredient.
All I know is they’re delicious.
A grandfather clock in the room squawks and tells us it’s 5 PM.
Back home, it’d kill me to not know where my day went.
My brain would be screaming at me to be productive— don’t waste it.
But I think orgasms and hot showers in an October storm, followed by a divine nap plus the end of my favorite scary movie is anything but wasting a day.
We tally our scores as Jess leaves a tray of fresh bread, fruit, pretzels and butter. I love how unbothered she is by this whole thing. She’s so sweet and has been doing anything she can to make us more comfortable. It makes me want to come back to The Fable Inn but as an intentional destination.
The fire crackles and I know I beat Seth by the way he’s tilting his head, glancing at me as I finish my score.
“We’re tied. Have to do best of three.” Seth claps his hands, rubbing them together. “But you won, so you get to ask me two questions. Anything you want.”
The terms we set before we started rolling any dice was the winner got to ask the loser two questions. Seth’s first win resulted in me sharing the celebrity I can’t stand to see when I’m working (I hate that he was in Parks and Rec) and my favorite childhood cereal (Captain Crunch).
Now, it’s my turn.
“Your tattoo. The numbers. What do they mean?” I ask as I take my first roll.
His face dulls for just a second, almost like something slipped. He takes a deep breath, sighing it out, and answers. “It was for my station. When I was a firefighter. Got them with a few of the guys.”
“Do you still keep in touch?” I quickly burn my second question.
He pauses for just a second as I finish the last roll of my turn. Seth takes the dice and shakes them, before continuing, “We try. Hard when they’re in Michigan and I’m in New York but we try to get together at least once a year.”
“I love that,” I say, thinking of Seth getting loud with a bunch of his friends. Before this getting stuck together situation, I could’ve never pictured it.
I’m the one who doesn’t have many friends by choice.
Especially with my job, it’s hard to know peoples true intentions and I’ve been burned too many times to hand out chances like I used to.
The thing it’s taught me is how much I’m okay with being alone.
Sometimes, you need to learn to sit and love yourself in silence before expecting anything else from anyone.
The fire crackles as Seth rolls the dice.
Maybe it’s time to let someone fill that silence.