Chapter 6
SIX
Lainey
Sixteen Years Ago
“ I t’s always been you. And, Lainey, it will always be you.”
It had only been a few seconds since Rhett had spoken those words to me at the party where we were upstairs in one of the bedrooms, sitting on the bed. And as his stare covered me, his words echoing in my head, I could feel my face turning beet red, my lips pulling into the biggest grin.
I was doing everything to stop myself from melting.
Why was he so achingly sweet?
Why was I wiggling, unable to sit still, no matter how hard I tried?
It was the always part that was tripping me up. It meant so many things.
And it meant, if I was understanding him correctly, that everything I’d feared while I was in New York was just in my mind, scenarios that wouldn’t make it further than my imagination. And if I was reading him right, it didn’t matter that I’d left or how much time had passed; Rhett cared about me.
But I still wanted to confirm, so with his fingers spread across my cheek and his thumb on the side of my mouth, I said, “You never stopped thinking about me, the same way I never stopped thinking about you, huh?”
“I sure as hell didn’t.”
I could smell beer on his breath. A scent that wasn’t bad at all; it was actually really hot, especially since it was mixed with something minty, like gum, which he must have tossed before I arrived at the party.
“So, you’re saying your feelings haven’t changed?”
His eyes were fiery while they focused on mine. “Not even a little.”
Wow .
I’d convinced myself that I’d handled everything all wrong, that I should have called him, that I should have somehow persuaded my parents to let me go back to LA—at least for a visit. So, I’d prepared myself for the worst.
“Do you want to know something?” I waited for him to nod. “I didn’t think things were going to play out like this. The kiss in the janitor’s closet on my first day back, the way you called me the last couple of nights, or that the minute you saw me, you brought me up here so we could be alone. When I’d planned this all out in my head while I was still in Manhattan, I had been so worried …” My eyes closed as my voice drifted off.
When I felt movement, my eyelids opened, and Rhett was pulling back a little, as if he needed to get a better look at me.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You were the most popular freshman in our school, so I figured, by now, you’d be the most popular guy in the entire school. With that title, along with being a football star, comes all the girls.” I shrugged. “I assumed you’d be dating one.”
“Dating? No. I haven’t done much of that at all.” I could tell he wasn’t done talking. “I’m not going to lie to you and say you’re the first girl I’ve kissed. There were others—and other stuff happened.” He took in my expression. “I’m not saying this to hurt you. I just want to be honest. You deserve that.”
“I understand.”
Even though I hated it and the thought made me hurt, I couldn’t exactly expect a guy to have kept his lips and hands and whatever else to himself when I hadn’t even talked to him for over two years.
He held my chin. “Those girls are nothing to worry about. It was what it was, and it was over.” His voice softened with each word. “They weren’t you.”
“Are you the kind of guy who just doesn’t date at all?”
He laughed. “What would make you think that?”
“You didn’t date any of them. You just did … whatever.”
“Lainey”—he gently pressed his lips against mine, and I felt him breathe me in—“I wasn’t into dating them. You’re a different story.”
The tingles were flitting from my stomach to my chest, like they were attached to wings, hitting the walls of my insides the higher they got. “What kind of story am I?”
“What kind would you like to be?”
My shyness definitely took over, and I was almost too afraid to give an answer. “Rhett, I don’t know …”
“Yes, you do.”
If I had been red before, I now looked like I’d just run a marathon. “How about you tell me what kind of story you want?”
He smiled. “I asked you first.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I set the rules.”
“That’s not fair either.” I took a deep breath, debating how real I wanted to be with him, even though that was what this conversation was about. I held in the air I’d just taken in and gradually released it. “I want everything.”
“What’s … everything ?”
“Everything when it comes to you.”
“You’re saying you want to be my girlfriend?”
I was squirming on the inside. “Yes.” But then my stomach began to hurt as I thought of our conversation just moments ago. “But from what you said, it sounds like that’s something you don’t do.”
“It’s something I didn’t do with them. You’re different, remember?”
I wanted to feel relief, but it wasn’t there yet. “Why?”
He smiled as he moved his face toward mine. “When it comes to you, I want everything too.”
“ Everything , everything?”
He nodded. “As much as you’re willing to give me. Whatever that is, I’ll take it all.” He brushed the hair out of my eye. “And this time, you’re not leaving me.”
I sighed. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make me feel these wild, nutty things. Like, I can barely even breathe right now.”
“What if I kiss you?” His gaze dropped to my mouth. “Will that make it better or worse?”
I rubbed my lips together, as though his had just left mine. “Technically worse, but ultimately better.”
He slowly came closer until our mouths were pressed against each other, and his tongue slipped between my lips. I wasn’t just smelling the beer; I was tasting it, and for a drink I didn’t like at all, I loved it on him.
But there was more.
The way he was holding me. The way he was kissing me, like he was starving for me. The way he was exhaling, the sounds he made each time.
Or maybe those noises were coming from me.
Because the tingling wasn’t even tingling anymore. It was exploding. My insides felt electric. Rhett had flipped some kind of switch, and everything was on and blazing.
That was something I’d felt during the nights I was in New York, alone, thinking about Rhett and how badly I wanted to get back to him. And then again the first time his lips had touched mine. But none of those occasions were as strong as this.
This … had me breathless.
When he separated us, he stared into my eyes. “That right there is something I love about you.”
“What do you love?”
“That you look at me like it’s never enough. That when I pull back, you make me feel that too. That if you could, you’d kiss me forever.”
My smile returned. “It’s true. I would.” My fingers dived into the side of his dark hair before lowering to his neck and then his chest. There had been muscles there when we were younger; they just weren’t as defined or hard. They hadn’t made me want to unbutton his shirt and see what they looked like when uncovered. “You know what I love about you?”
“Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at me in class or we pass each other in the hallway or I’m walking into a party, your stare never changes. You look at me like I’m the prettiest girl in the room.”
“More than the room, Lainey. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”
I turned into his hand when his palm shifted to my cheek. “You make me smile so hard. An obscene amount. Just thinking about you makes me smile. It’s like I can’t stop.”
“I don’t want you to. Not ever. Promise me that.”
“Promise I’ll never stop smiling?”
“Yeah, and when we’re old and gray, I want that smile on your lips to always be for me.”
I grabbed the back of his hand and laughed. “That’s an eternity from now. We have to make it through the rest of our junior year and the summer and our senior year and then college and …” I turned silent when I considered all the time ahead, like college, which could create more distance between us.
“You don’t need to worry about any of that.” He pulled at my waist, dragging me closer to him. “Or about us.”
“No?”
“Fuck no. I told you, you’re not leaving me, so I don’t plan on ever letting you out of my sight again. I hope you don’t get sick of me because you’re going to be seeing a lot of me.” He winked.
I was sure he was just playing when he said that, but to me, that was a statement I’d dreamed of hearing for far too many years.
I still had to ask, “What about college? Will you be going somewhere to play football?”
“No.”
“Why not? You’re certainly good enough.” I giggled. “I might have checked your stats while I was in New York.”
“I like that you did that.” He brushed my chin. “If I were interested in going into the NFL, I’d play college ball. That would be my window in. But my dream is for my brother, sister, and me to take over my dad’s hotel business. I’ve worked there every summer for as long as I can remember, and I’ll go to work there full-time when I graduate college. Some of the dudes who went on to play collegiate ball have told me how much work it is, balancing practice and traveling and games and off-season workouts while maintaining a certain GPA to keep their scholarship. I don’t want that.” He shook his head. “I want to have fun before work becomes the majority of my life.”
“So, if you’re not going after a football scholarship that could take you anywhere in the US, does that mean you want to stay in California for school?”
“I’d like to.”
Relief finally flooded through my chest.
I didn’t know why. College wasn’t for another year. But we would need to start applying this coming fall, and with this school year ending, that didn’t feel like much time at all.
“That’s what I want too,” I said. “Stanford. USC. University of California, Berkeley. Those are my top choices for nursing school … I think.”
“Not NYU?” He smirked.
I rubbed my hands over my jeans before I rested them on his shoulders. “That’s Penelope’s top choice. She’s all about the East Coast. Me? I’m good right here.”
“Excellent decision.” He pecked my lips. “Do you know what I’m picturing right now?”
“No. What?”
“The two of us at USC, walking hand in hand to class. Moving in together after two years in the dorms. We can get a place just off campus that’s big enough for a golden retriever.”
My eyes widened. “You want a dog? In our college apartment?”
He laughed. “Out of all the things I just said, the dog is what stood out the most?”
I covered my mouth and laughed even louder than him. “Are you kidding? I’m dying over what you just said.” I dropped my hand. “Don’t you see my smile?” I paused. “But considering the way college students party and that you want to have all the fun before you go to work for your dad, being responsible for a dog sounded kinda funny.”
“I can understand that, but isn’t that the kind of dog you want?”
I searched his eyes. “I don’t remember ever telling you that.”
“You didn’t have to. I saw it on your face way back in the day, when we were at the pet store and you were playing with the golden retriever puppies.”
My inhale was slow and deep. “Rhett …” I swallowed, my saliva only adding to the pool of mush my body was turning into. “Yes, it’s my dream dog.”
“Then, I’m going to make it happen—whether it’s our junior or senior year or when we graduate and buy our first place together.” He positioned his lips over mine. “Lainey, I’m going to make every one of your dreams come true.”