Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
Rhett
Fifteen Years Ago
I no longer heard the sound of the engines. I’d turned them off—that was the button I’d slammed on the dash. But still, I looked down at the four motors, making sure there wasn’t any water being churned around them. And while I did, the sound of my father’s voice was in my head.
The rule he recited each time I took out the boat.
The rule that changed everything.
The rule I hadn’t voiced today.
With no time to drop anchor, I stood at the stern with my arms outstretched, my hands overlapped and over my head, my heart thumping in a way I’d never felt before.
Words were coming out of me—I had no idea what they were.
I couldn’t hear myself, not with the way my ears were ringing and my heart was thumping.
As I dived off the stern, I didn’t bother to take a breath.
I wasn’t sure I remembered how. I wasn’t sure I even could at this point.
When the Pacific surrounded me, it felt like ice. That was the first thing I noticed—how cold my skin felt despite the rest of me feeling so numb. The second was the feeling inside my body. There was no numbness there. It felt like electricity was shooting from my head to my toes, zapping each muscle and vein.
Those snaps weren’t fiery, like the first time I had seen Lainey and every time I’d looked at her since.
They were like an offensive lineman heading right for me, hoping to cause a season-ending injury.
But worse.
I surfaced, shaking my head to clear the hair and saltwater out of my eyes.
The current had moved me; it had shifted the boat. I needed to get my bearings.
I treaded around in a circle, searching until I spotted her.
Screaming, “Penelope!”
Noticing all the fucking red, a path that led me right to her.
“Penelope!”
I didn’t just feel my tongue and lips move, my throat tightening from the volume; I heard myself too. I felt the fear. I processed the urgency to get to her.
The water had moved her away from the boat, and she wasn’t swimming to stay close; she wasn’t trying to fight the current.
“Penelope!”
She was just … floating.
But away from me and getting farther every second.
Five yards.
Ten yards.
My face dipped into the water, my arms rotating like a windmill, my legs kicking with every bit of strength I had.
I was almost there.
Her arm was within reach, and … I got her.
“Talk to me, Pen. Tell me what’s hurting.”
Nothing.
“Pen!”
I turned her over, and her eyes were closed. There was a gash on her forehead, another on her lip.
And there was red.
It was everywhere—on her face, running down her chest, covering my hands.
“I’m going to get you back to the boat. Come on.”
I wrapped an arm across her chest and side-stroked toward the boat. Each kick felt like I was maxing out on the leg press. The water was suddenly thick, like sand. My lungs didn’t want to take in any air, and my single arm was straining as it reached forward, swiping the water toward me before stretching again.
When I reached the edge of the boat, I didn’t know how I was going to get us on board.
The opening was only large enough for one, and I had to lift us out of the water with just one arm since the other was holding her. The ground was too far away, too deep to use that to push off.
The ladder.
Yes, the ladder.
There was one. I could use it.
I fumbled around until I found the latch, and the metal stairs descended.
“I’ve got you, Pen. Only a few more seconds.”
With my foot on the first step, I pulled our upper bodies out of the water, gravity weighing down and working against me. I fought like hell to add my other foot to the rung above.
“Ah! Fuck!”
I was there.
I just needed one more, and I could straddle the opening and get us inside the boat.
I rocked my lower body in the water, building up the energy to lift my foot off the bottom rung and raise it to the top of the ladder while holding the side of the boat with just one hand.
Every part of me was shaking; even my shouting was strained.
One, two, three—push.
I fully breached the surface.
Now, I had to get us inside.
I rotated off the thin piece of metal that was beneath my foot and stretched my free leg over the opening, my toes hitting the SeaDek. The jump caught me off guard with Penelope’s added weight, and I lost my balance.
Even midair, I knew she couldn’t take it if I fell on top of her. So, I turned us and landed on my shoulder with her back pressed against the front of me. I quickly rolled her onto the floor and knelt beside her.
Fuck. The blood. There was so much.
A wound in her stomach, where the blade of the motor had sliced across the length of her abdomen.
It was deep.
Too fucking deep.
There was another one on her chest, where I could see bone.
I didn’t know how to make her stop bleeding.
I didn’t know how to fix her.
“Penelope!” I shook her arm. Her shoulder. Her face. Why was her skin so pale? “Open your eyes and look at me!”
I needed to do something.
I needed to get her to wake up.
Is she breathing?
I put my ear to her nose.
The softest puff of air hit my earlobe.
I could help.
I could get her breathing.
I’d taken a CPR class in high school.
I knew that I needed to open her mouth and angle her neck back and press my lips against hers. I pinched her nose and exhaled all the air from my body into hers.
I waited.
Seconds that felt like a fucking eternity.
Nothing.
No airflow.
No opening of her eyes.
No waking up.
I gave her a second breath. This one was even longer—I was sure of it because I’d filled my lungs to capacity and let it all out.
Come on, Pen.
Wake up.
Open your eyes.
Open them for Lainey.
I started compressions, counting out loud after each one. “One, two, three.”
“Do you need help?” someone asked. “Should I call the Coast Guard?”
I didn’t know where the voice was coming from. I didn’t know who was speaking.
But I replied, “Yes! I need help! Call the Coast Guard right now!” My hands had frozen while I responded, but they were back to pulsing against her chest. “Four. Five. Six.”
There was more red.
It wouldn’t stop.
It just kept coming.
“Seven, eight, nine,” I counted.
“Mayday, mayday, mayday,” the same voice said. “This is vessel …”
“Pen,” I said, tuning them out, “help is coming. They’ll be here soon.”
Ten, eleven, twelve .
“Pen!”