Chapter 46
FORTY-SIX
Lainey
Present Day
M om held the coffee cup with both hands, the ceramic balancing on her breasts as she looked at me from the other side of the couch. One of the advantages of moving back to LA was that I got to have breakfast with my mother whenever I wanted.
But this morning, when I’d walked into my parents’ house, knowing Dad would be at work, I’d told her to stop cutting up the grapefruit she’d been carving, that we needed to chat.
Almost a week had passed since Rhett had come to my apartment, and we’d had the conversation about what we wanted. In most scenarios, that was a time frame far too premature to even discuss it with the parents.
Not in my case.
And not when it came to the love between Rhett and me.
There was no question in my mind; this was only the beginning of us.
So, while Mom and I sat on the couch and I held my untouched coffee, I told her everything that had transpired, starting from when I’d seen Rhett in Bangkok to the unexpected meetup at the cemetery. I went into detail about the things Rhett had told me about Pen while we were at the track. I purged everything. I kept nothing from her. And when I finished, I explained the Instagram post I’d made—since she’d seen it—and how I’d shared that photo, knowing it would get Rhett to come over.
There was emotion on Mom’s face when I covered the parts about Pen. When I told her how my sister had acted with Rhett and what had really gone down that day on the boat in comparison to the police report. But once Mom’s tears cleared, she looked at me like my best friend, listening to me pour my heart out.
And when I wrapped up the last bit, explaining the handful of days and nights Rhett and I had spent together, I put my hand on her knee, which was the closest part of her I could reach, and said, “What do you think about all of this, Mom?”
“What do I think?” She drew in a huge breath, slowly letting it out. “As far as your sister is concerned, these are things we didn’t know about. Honey, it’s a lot to unpack.”
“I know.”
“Cocaine?” She put her hand on her chest. “Dear God, that hurts to hear, Lainey.”
“There were times … times she was so messed up that I wondered if she was just drinking or if she was mixing things. I never asked her. And I never saw her doing anything other than drinking and smoking. But the thought was there, especially the nights when she blacked out.” I paused. “Did you know about those nights? Or how much she was drinking? Or partying?”
“When she would come downstairs in the morning, white as a ghost, still three sheets to the wind, yes, of course I knew. But she was such a good kid. She was home on time. She got exceptional grades. She got into NYU. I just …” As she went silent, she sighed. “I turned a blind eye. I know now that I shouldn’t have.”
When I pulled my hand back, she continued, “I have to ask. Is there any part of you that’s questioning whether Rhett is telling you the truth about Penelope?”
“No.” My head shook. “Not even a little. Because toward the end, when Pen was hanging out with the lacrosse team, I knew their reputation and that they were into coke and pills, and I knew she should stay away from them. But instead of learning that lesson, she just got deeper involved with them.” I rested the cup on the couch and stared at the top of it. “I should have done something too. I should have … I don’t know.”
“Carrying that guilt won’t bring her back, honey. There’s a strong possibility we’d still be here now, having almost the same conversation, had you tried to do something about it. Because whether Pen was high or not, she might have still jumped.”
“I know.”
She gave a weak grin. “What I know is that you’re the reason she was home on time. That when you were with her, nothing ever happened. You took care of your sister, baby. But that wasn’t your responsibility, and it’s not something you could have done forever.” Her smile strengthened. “My goodness, didn’t she look up to you? She admired you. And given what Rhett said, she envied you.”
“I envied her, Mom. She could walk into a room and not know a single person and leave with ten new best friends. She wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. She could create a spotlight out of total darkness and have it shine right over her.” I folded my legs up to my chest and leaned my shoulder into the back cushion of the couch. “Rhett waited all these years to tell me. He didn’t think I was ready.” I exhaled. “He didn’t know if I’d ever be ready.” I paused. “He had nothing to lose, Mom.”
“He certainly didn’t.”
I went quiet for several moments before I whispered, “I love him.”
“You always have.” She finally took a sip of her coffee and set the mug on the small table beside her. With her hands free, she moved forward a whole seat and clasped my fingers within hers. “Since you were a freshman in high school, and I knew you going to Europe wouldn’t change that.”
“I want to be with him.” My eyes were welling with tears. I couldn’t stop the emotion. “I have to be with him—for me. And I don’t know how you and Dad feel about that, especially Dad, but I can’t go another day without Rhett in my life.”
“My girl,” she said so softly. “Over the years, every time we spoke about him, I knew you still loved him. I heard it in your voice, honey.” She released my hand to brush some hair out of my face, holding my cheek and then my chin. “You’re thirty-three years old. You’ve only been in love once, and now, that love is back and …” Her head tilted, an adoring expression spreading over her face. “I understand.”
I didn’t want to ask this question.
It made me sick to my stomach thinking of what her response could be.
But I was extremely close to my parents. It was only the three of us. And I couldn’t go on without knowing how she felt.
“Do you support this, Mom?”
She swiped away several of my tears. “After some time passed, I think it became clear in all of our heads that Rhett wasn’t the reason Penelope died. Sure, he was the captain of the boat, and something happened under his watch, but he couldn’t have stopped her from jumping. He couldn’t have prevented it either. And as someone who now knows far too much about boating without ever being behind the wheel of one, I can say that there was no reason, given the situation, that he should have turned off those engines.”
She looked down for a moment. “It made it easier on our hearts to blame him.”
When she gazed back up, I saw the pain in her eyes. “The way your father treated that boy when he came to our house after the funeral … it was wrong. Your father knows that. I know that.”
Her touch turned so gentle. “Yes, honey, I support you.”
Every time I nodded, a tear fell. “I’m going to marry him, Mom.”
“Are you going to give me grandbabies? Dear God, please say yes.”
Me
I just left Mom and Dad’s house. Mom says hi.
I sent the text to Rhett, and as I was pulling out of my parents’ driveway, I wasn’t surprised at all when my dashboard showed an incoming call from him. I hit a button on my steering wheel to answer and said, “Hi,” once it connected.
“Lainey … we haven’t talked about your parents. Jesus, that’s a topic I wasn’t ready to tackle. I figured I’d approach it in a couple of weeks. You know, after you already moved in,” he joked.
I laughed. “I didn’t want to bring them up either.”
“I was afraid they wouldn’t support us being together. And then that would become a whole other situation.”
I turned off their street, accelerating as I replied, “The thought was in my mind too. I couldn’t obsess over it for a second more.”
“So, you ripped off the Band-Aid.”
I remembered when I’d said something similar to him at the track. “I did. But I only told Mom. I wanted to start with her. She’s the easier one to talk to.”
“How’d it go?”
“By telling her about you, I had to tell her everything about Pen and the day of the accident. It was a lot—saying those words to my mom, watching her process. But fifteen years have passed, and although things are still sensitive in some spots, other spots have healed.” I smiled as I thought of her response. “She wants me happy, Rhett, and she knows you’re my happiness.”
“You’re saying … she’s okay with us?”
“Yes.”
He exhaled. “Was she surprised to find out we’re back together?”
“I think, deep down, she was expecting it. Just like she’s expecting grandchildren.”
He laughed. “She said that?”
“In a roundabout way.”
He was still laughing. “Perfect. We’ll start trying tonight.”
My gasp ended in laughter. “The thing is, you’re serious.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
I came to a stop at the red light. “Maybe we could wait a few weeks?” The smile owned my entire face. “Or say, a year? Or even two? We just got each other back. I want to enjoy this time before we have to share each other with a little one who is going to take up every second of us.”
“Fair.”
I tapped the steering wheel. “Note to self: double up on my birth control when I get home.”
“I haven’t even touched you yet.”
“But when you do, I just have this strange feeling you’re going to get me pregnant.”
“That’s some powerful shit right there.”
I chewed my lip. “For some people, yes. But not for Rhett Cole.”
He went silent for a second. “Lainey, I want to talk to your parents. I think it’s important that they not only hear it from you, but they also hear it from me.”
My eyes fluttered closed, and I silently nodded. “I think that’s a really good idea.”