2. Chapter Two
Chapter Two
Mariella
“ U h-huh,” Father Josef pauses, his voice pulling me from my thoughts.
Umm, what?
“Mariella, please face Renaldo,” he says. The stern look on his face tells me he’s repeating himself.
No, no, no! I can’t do this.
Still, somehow my body turns, my hands fisting the soft silk of my dress.
I fix my eyes on Renaldo’s tie. Each second drags on. The pressure in my temples mounts with every passing moment.
My heart races, pounding in my chest. My blood pressure must be off the charts. I try to take a calming breath, but my lungs are locked.
Oh God! I’m choking!
Hyperaware of every sensation, I feel the adrenaline surge through my veins. My fight-or-flight instinct finally kicks in. Everything buzzes.
How do I escape this doom?
Fight or flight?
Perhaps both?
My legs, are they there? I can’t feel them.
Think, think, think.
An image of Ella, our Don’s girl, flashes in my mind.
Although she was in love with him, she never bent to his will. I had a front-row seat to her defiance. Not once did she sit back and accept her fate.
So why should I?
She got away. Surely, I can too. Even if it’s at the last possible moment.
What would Ella do?
The question echoes in my mind.
I close my eyes, trying to channel the courage of the woman who’s become a friend, and since her escape, my hero.
She’d be the first one to tell me it’s never too late.
“Now, to the vows.”
Father Josef’s voice sends chills down my spine.
“Renaldo,” he inclines his head to my fiancé. “Mariella.” He smiles sympathetically at me. “Please join hands.”
Think, Mariella! Think!
My stomach churns as panic grips me.
Renaldo lifts my trembling hands into his.
A cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. Each breath is labored, and I can barely swallow past the lump in my throat.
I can’t do this.
My legs feel unsteady.
My anxiety peaks.
Merda! Just think of something!
The nausea in my stomach intensifies, becoming a relentless, churning turmoil. The heavy, knotted ball twists tighter and tighter.
My gaze shifts to Renaldo’s. When our eyes lock, all I see is indifference.
It’s sobering, and the fog in my mind clears.
A new resolve grips me.
I refuse to be chained to a man who doesn’t care for me.
God, our wedding night would be a nightmare, one that would be repeated over and over until I bear him an heir.
The thought of having sex with him brings on a fresh wave of nausea. My heart races, pounding erratically against my ribcage.
I can’t throw away my life like this.
It’s beyond last minute, more like last second.
But I make my decision.