37. Simon
“Are you going to tell me what is going on?”
“What do you mean?”
I look over to Shane, who is keeping his eyes suspiciously on the road. “You never want to go golfing. Ever.”
“That’s not true.”
“Tell me the latest time we went golfing.”
“It was…I don’t keep track of that shit.”
“You can’t keep track of shit that’s never happened.”
“Just shut up. We’ll be there in five minutes and then you can talk all you want.”
“Fine,” I say, grabbing my phone from my pocket. “I need to check in with Charlie anyway.”
“She’s fine,” Shane groans. “She isn’t having the baby today.”
“And how do you know that? Are you Dr. Shane now?”
He shakes his head. “Because I wouldn’t be that lucky to get out of this shit…”
I ignore Shane’s comment to text Bug. She all but kicked me out of the house today when she heard Shane ask me to go golfing. She claimed that she was going to nest today. She had the diner covered and there were some things she wanted to get done with the baby’s due date being two weeks away.
I told her to rest. She told me to go golfing and to get the hell out of the house.
Simon: How are you feeling?
Bug: Pregnant. Uncomfortable. Did I mention pregnant?
Simon: Do you want me to come home?
Bug: Absolutely not.
Simon: Why do I feel like you’re kicking me out?
Bug: Are you at the course yet?
Simon: We’re about to pull in.
Bug: Well then you’re about to find out why you can’t come home. Have a fun day Daddy =)
As soon as I look up from my phone, I see nothing but pink and white streamers and balloons waving in the air attached to golf carts.
“What the hell...”
I exit Shane’s truck and walk over to the decorated golf carts. Now, my friends and I have a guilty pleasure of decorating for special occasions. Wes’s divorce. When Oliver ended up married. Shane and Amelia’s first engagement.
And apparently now Baby Bug’s expected birth.
“Welcome to your Baby Stag!”
I laugh as Oliver comes over, handing me a box of cigars and a brand-new sleeve of my favorite golf balls. “Baby Stag?”
“You heard us right,” Wes says as the rest of the group gathers around. Of course Wes, Oliver, and Shane are here. Emmett is standing in the back next to Amelia’s son, Luke, who’s next to Connor. My dad’s here. Hell, they even invited Stella’s fiancé Duncan, who I really don’t like, but hey, apparently it’s a party. “We know showers are traditionally for women.”
“But we also know that you’re Simon Banks and that a celebration is definitely needed for the fact that you’re going to be become a father,” Oliver says.
“So welcome to your Baby Stag party. Eighteen holes of golf followed by Beers, Brews, and Diapers Too at The Joint.”
“Guys…wow,” I say, speechless. “Thanks, but I’m not sure. Charlie is…”
“A few weeks away from labor?” Shane interrupts. “Yes. We know this, which is why Amelia, a trained and talented—not to mention beautiful—nurse is staying with Charlie all day in case something happens.”
“Okay,” I say, excited, but also weirdly guilty. “But we shouldn’t drink too much. In case I need to get back.”
“That’s why I’m here,” Luke says. “I’m your designated driver for the night. I’m your personal Uber.”
I start to open my mouth again, but not before my dad steps forward. “Son. I’ve taught you a lot of things over the years. Most of them you’ve done. But there is one important lesson that you need to know now that you’re about to become a father.”
“What’s that?”
“When the mother of your child kicks you out of the house and tells you to go golfing, you get the hell out of the house and go golfing.”
I laugh as Oliver hands me a beer. “If you say so.”
Everyone grabs a beer except Luke, who is seventeen and clearly the most responsible one of us today, before my dad makes the rest of his speech. “To Simon. Most days you think everything is about you. Today it is. And for good reason. You are about to be blessed with a little girl who is going to change your life. And we couldn’t be more happy for you. Salut!”
“Salut!”
We all take a swig of our beers before loading into the overly decorated golf carts. As we drive to the first tee, I hurry and grab my phone.
Simon: Thank you. I love you.
Bug: I love you too. Have a fun day. You deserve it, Daddy.
I smile as Oliver drives the cart down the path. The April sun is beaming down, and the breeze is just enough to make the air not hot. It’s the perfect day for golf.
And honestly, it’s just a perfect day.
I’m with my boys. And I’m in such a good mood I’ll even call Duncan one of my boys even though I think he’s a douche and not good enough for Stella.
And when I get home tonight, I’ll fall into bed with the love of my life, who’s about to have our baby.
Life doesn’t get much better.
It’s been more than a month since Charlie found out about the diner—and since then, things have been smooth sailing. We redrew the lease to reflect her intent to buy it, with portions of the rent going toward that. The diner is booming, and she has her maternity leave plan in place. Now that she knows about Magnolia Properties, I’ve been able to go all in on a few projects around Rolling Hills that I was hesitant to start. Between Emmett running my properties and me buying and selling them, we’re becoming a well-oiled machine.
Life is good.
I don’t know how it could get much better than this.
“Simon!” Duncan yells from the first tee box. “How about a shot before we get going?”
I let out a low groan. “Why did you invite him?”
“Your dad asked if we could,” Oliver says. “And I might be thirty-six years old, but I’m still scared of your father.”
I shake my head, grab my driver, and head over to the bar, conveniently next to the first tee. “Sure, but only one.”
“I’M HAVING A BABY!”
Everyone at The Joint cheers and holds up their drinks as I throw back another shot of whiskey.
“Round’s on me!”
Porter rolls his eyes as he takes the empty shot glass away. “It’s an open bar, asshole. Quit making everyone think you’re buying each round.”
I slam my hand down. I didn’t mean to. It just weighs a lot right now. “An open bar is the least I can do. Did you see how many diapers they got me? There are soooooo many diapers.”
“I did,” Porter says, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m drunk, but he seems annoyed with me. “Never did I think I’d have five thousand fucking diapers in my bar.”
“Well, you do!” I yell, grabbing another beer. “Because I’m going to be a daddy!”
I stumble away from the bar to head back to the party. This part of the day is a little more rowdy than golf. And a few more people are here. Everyone was invited—no girls allowed, of course—but there was one rule: You had to come with a gift of diapers.
All sizes. Didn’t matter how many. But apparently the invitations said: “Simon will be changing diapers for the next few years. Let’s help him with that.”
The men of Rolling Hills did not disappoint.
“There he is!”
I’m nearly knocked over by Duncan, who I don’t know why is still here. Dad left after golf, and I’d assume he’d take his future son-in-law with him.
No such luck.
“Hey, Duncan.”
“What’s it like?”
“What’s what like?”
He throws his arm around me, which for a guy that’s barely five-foot-seven, still has a punch. “Pregnancy sex? I heard it was nuts.”
I’ve never liked Duncan. When he first started dating Stella, I called him Duncan the Douche. But I was told by my sisters, mother, father, and Stella herself, that she loves him, so I better get used to him being around.
But right now I want to fucking lay him out.
“Hey, guys. Sorry. I need Simon.”
I’m pleasantly surprised when Emmett steps in and drags me away. Literally. I’m not walking great right now.
“Thanks, man,” I say. “I hate that guy.”
“I met him today, and I get why. He was asking me if there were going to be strippers here. When I told him there weren’t he asked if I could hire some.”
“Asshole,” I say. “Not you. Him. You’re not an asshole. You’re my friend.”
“You’re my friend too. And you want to know what friends do?”
“What’s that?”
“Shots.”
I point to him because that’s the best idea I’ve heard all night. “You’re right!”
“Guys! Picture!”
I drunkenly turn toward the sound of Oliver’s voice, who’s pointing his phone at us. I don’t know what pose Emmett and I make, but I know it has to be reminiscent of photos we took together freshman year at Tennessee. Our chests puffed. Holding a beer like we’re fucking cool. Only thing different is my hair is better and I can actually grow facial hair.
And oh, I’m going to be a daddy.
“Hey! Everyone!” I yell as I awkwardly climb to stand on a table. Will it hold me? I think it will. It only wobbles once. “Can I say a few words?”
Someone cuts the music from the jukebox.
“I just want to say thank you to everyone for coming out tonight. Y’all are the fucking best!”
A quick round of applause hits before I motion for them to stop. “I really want to say thanks to my best friends in the whole entire fucking world. Wes, Oliver, and Shane, I fucking love you guys. Thank you for this.”
The three of them hold up their beers as the rest cheer. Well, Oliver does it before quickly snapping a picture. He’s the photographer of the group for a reason.
“Porter, thanks for letting us have the bar tonight.”
“Thanks for paying,” he says, which gets a laugh from the crowd.
“Least I can do. Oh! And when you’re hungover tomorrow, make sure to go to Mona’s for your fix of hangover food. Think of it as helping to support my daughter’s college fund. Now everyone enjoy the night! I’m going to be a daddy!”
Another round of applause erupts as I jump off the table and somehow don’t break anything.
“Nice speech,” Wes says. “You only swore once.”
“I know. Pretty proud of myself.”
The two of us laugh and collapse into our seats. “I used to say fuck so much I thought that was going to be Magnolia’s first word.”
I laugh. “What was it?”
“Dada.”
That hits me square in the chest. I hadn’t even thought about things like first words. Or first steps. Or first anythings.
“Holy shit. In a few weeks I’m going to have a little girl and pretty soon she’s going to do those things. Am I ready for her to do those things? Do I need to babyproof the house now? I thought I had time to do that since the first few months she’s pretty much unable to move without me or Charlie.”
Wes nods. “Can I give you advice?”
“Please, for the love of God, give me advice. And honestly, the fact that you’re waiting until now to do it is a little rude.”
Wes laughs. “You’re going to want be there for all the firsts. Every parent does. The problem is, kids are on their own schedule and do things when they want, not really giving a shit who’s around to see it.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I missed a first with every one of my kids. And I beat myself up for it. But then I realized it’s not the firsts that are the most important. It’s the rest.”
“The rest?”
“Yeah. The rest. The birthdays. The dance recitals. The school concerts. The games. Board game nights with pizza on the living room floor. Those are the memories. Those are the ones you’re going to want to remember, because those are the ones that you’re making together.”
Damn. Wes really is wise.
“Can I do this?” I ask. “Am I ready to be a dad?”
Wes puts his hand over mine. “I know we give you shit, and most of the time rightfully so, but if I know one thing about you, it’s that you are going to be the best fucking father this little girl could ever ask for. And at the very least, the most prepared for diaper duty.”
I laugh as we look over to the mountains of diapers along the wall. “Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.”
The two of us stand and fall into a bro hug. And just as I’m about to step away, I feel a hand on my shirt pulling me off Wes.
“What the…” Luke is looking at me with a strange expression. “Is it time to go? Just five more minutes…”
“Please, Luke!” Wes whines.
“No. We have to go. Now.”
“Why? The bar isn’t closing yet.”
“Jesus Christ,” Luke mutters. “Charlie’s in labor. My mom just called me. She’s taking her to the hospital.”
I know the music is loud, and I’m still pretty drunk, but I think I heard Luke say Charlie’s in labor.
Oliver comes stumbling over to me, falling into me but somehow doesn’t bring me down. Probably because I’m super strong. “What’s going on?”
“Oliver, please explain to Simon that Charlie has tried to call him every minute for the last hour, his phone is dead, and we have to get to the hospital. Now.”
“Oh my God!” Oliver yells. “It’s time! It’s time! The baby’s coming!”
I’m still confused. And apparently hearing things. “Guys. Why is everyone saying that the baby’s coming?”
I feel a slap across my face I think I’ll feel for months.
And Shane standing right in front of me. Where’d he come from?
“Charlie’s in labor, asshole. Now get your fucking shit together.”
The sting runs through my body, and it takes me another second to…
Holy shit…
I’m going to be a daddy.
Right now.