Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
CLAIRE
What the hell am I doing?
I don’t do things like this. I don’t have one-night stands with strangers in hotels. I don’t peel back my skin and reveal the raw, unvarnished truth about what I crave, not even to myself.
And I definitely don’t give voice to the darkest, dirtiest corners of my desires.
But here I am, perched on the edge of surrender, my heart pounding like a war drum.
I shouldn’t want this. Shouldn’t want him.
He’s a stranger I met in a bar, for crying out loud.
And maybe that’s precisely why I should do this.
He isn’t like every other person I’ve been with — small-town guys who lock up the second I ask for anything beyond basic missionary. Who’d look at me like I’ve grown horns if I suggest pulling my hair or biting me.
I’ve spent years pretending I’m content with boring and safe, because anything more makes me feel like I’m asking for too much.
And if I ask for too much, I’m scared I’ll chase them away.
But maybe just for tonight, I can give voice to all these things I’ve kept hidden. I can let myself want. Let myself be greedy. After all, I don’t have to worry about chasing Declan away. Not when I’ll never see him again.
Taking a breath, I push down the fear and let my desire overpower any feelings of shame.
“I want it rough.” The words tumble out before I can stop them.
“Want you to stretch me open with that thick cock.” Heat spreads across my cheeks, but I keep going.
“I want to feel it deep. Feel you everywhere. I want you to use me. Mark me. Spank me. Pull my hair. Make it hurt. And when you don’t think I can handle any more, I want you to keep going.
I want you to fuck me so hard I’ll feel you for weeks. ”
There. It’s out now. Exposed.
And the moment hangs between us like a live wire.
Declan stills, a muscle in his jaw flexing. Something carnal and untamed flickers in his eyes. He inhales like he’s trying to keep himself on a leash that’s already fraying.
“There’s just one problem with that.”
Heat rushes over my cheeks as my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach.
Of course. I’ve scared him off. Gone too far. Confirmed what I’ve always been afraid of.
“It’s okay,” I blurt out, averting my gaze. “I didn’t mean—”
He cuts me off with a kiss that’s anything but gentle. He tastes like lust and desire. And I drink him in.
“I’d love nothing more than to give you every last thing on your wish list.”
I blink, brows furrowing. “Then—”
“I don’t have a condom.” His voice drops. “I wasn’t exactly expecting to spend the night fucking a gorgeous, insatiable woman while in town on business.”
That piece of information endears me to him a little more. Like I surprised him as much as he’s surprised me.
“I’m on birth control. And it’s been a while since I’ve done this sort of thing.”
“Same for me. I’ll still pull out to be safe, if that’s okay.”
“Okay,” I exhale.
“Okay.” He covers my mouth with his, his tongue tangling with mine in a too-short kiss. When his eyes meet mine once more, they’re heated.
Feral.
“Now tell me again to fuck you.”
“Declan…” I rake my fingers through his hair and lean into the crook of his neck, nibbling on his earlobe. “I want you to fuck me.”
An animalistic growl rips through the room as he straightens, pushing my legs wide and bringing his erection up to me. Then, with one brutal thrust, he’s inside me.
I scream. Loud. Unfiltered. My body arches off the bed as he buries himself deep, his cock thick and unforgiving.
“Good girl,” he snarls, grinding deeper, his breath hot against my cheek. “Taking every inch of my cock like the needy girl you are.”
I don’t know how he does it, but he says exactly what I want to hear. What I need to hear.
My fingers dig into his shoulders, every nerve ending inside me lighting up. I want more.
I want everything.
He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, locking me in place. Then he fucks me. Not tenderly. Not sweetly.
Ruthlessly. Possessively. Completely.
“Is this what you wanted?” he rasps. “To be used like this? Fucked until you can’t think straight?”
“Yes,” I moan. “More. Please.”
He releases my wrists only to wrap his hand around my throat. Not enough to cut off air. Just enough to let me know he’s in control. That I’m his to command. His to ruin.
Then he bites me. Hard. First on the side of my neck, then lower, right above my breast. The pain only sharpens everything. My legs wrap tighter around him.
I need him deeper. Harder. I need to be filled and claimed and completely undone.
When he pulls out, I whimper, ready to beg, but his voice goes dark and rough.
“Hands and knees.”
I scramble into position, my legs shaking, mind whirling.
He slams into me from behind, one hand fisting in my hair, yanking my head back as his other hand smacks my ass. The crack echoes through the room. My walls clench in response.
“Say you’re mine,” he snarls.
“I…” I trail off, struggling to catch my breath.
He spanks me again, and the pain pulls the words from me.
“I’m yours,” I gasp. “Fuck. I’m yours.”
He growls like a beast unchained and pounds into me harder until I’m shaking with the force of it. I’m dripping. Desperate. Falling apart beneath him.
“You’re close, aren’t you?”
“So close,” I pant.
When he pulls out again, I nearly sob.
“Ask for permission first,” he grunts, teasing me with the head of his cock. “Only good girls who ask permission get to come again.”
God, he’s going to make me say it. I should be embarrassed. Should hate being at someone’s mercy. But I’ve never felt so damn alive.
“Please let me come.”
“That’s not exactly asking permission, is it?”
“Please, Declan. May I please come?”
He slams into me so hard I cry out. I barely last a few seconds before my orgasm crashes into me like a tidal wave. My entire body convulses, legs shaking uncontrollably as I squeeze around him, clenching and releasing, completely wrecked.
But he’s not done.
He pulls out again and flips me onto my back. I blink up at him, dazed and shaking, my breath still coming in shallow bursts.
“Tell me where you want it,” he demands, stroking himself over me.
My mind reels as I consider the possibilities.
“Now, Claire.” His words are almost a plea as he struggles to hold on to what little control his has left.
I could just tell him my stomach, like every other guy I’ve been with has done.
But I don’t want tonight to be like every other sexual encounter. I want this to stay with me forever. So I give in to my baser desires.
I part my lips, not saying a word. Just open my mouth and stick out my tongue.
His eyes darken. “Fuck.” He fists himself harder, his face scrunched almost in pain. The pleasure covering every inch of him is a sight to behold. Unhinged. Unabashed.
Beautiful.
It doesn’t take long for hot, thick spurts of cum to explode from his dick, painting my tongue, my cheek, my chin. It’s messy and raw and so goddamn perfect.
“Swallow,” he orders.
I eagerly obey his command, savoring the salty taste of him.
“Does my good girl want more?”
I nod.
“Open for me.”
Again, I follow his command and part my lips.
He leans in and swipes my cheek, collecting every drop. He presses his fingers between my lips, and I suck them clean, never breaking eye contact.
“Good fucking girl,” he groans.
I swallow everything, my body still trembling, my brain a haze of endorphins and aftershocks.
“I’d get a towel,” he murmurs, “but I want you to sleep with my cum on your face tonight.”
I try to smile, but it’s shaky. Before I can stop it, that old, ugly feeling creeps back in. The shame. The part of me that thinks there must be something wrong with me for wanting these things.
I drop my gaze, suddenly very aware of my nakedness. Of how I must look to him. Of what he must think of me now.
But he notices. Of course he does.
He tilts my chin up, gentle but firm.
“Hey.” His voice is softer now. Tender. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I try to laugh, but it comes out brittle.
He brushes his knuckles along my cheek. “Act like you should be ashamed of what you like.” His eyes hold mine, and I can’t look away.
“There’s nothing wrong with what we just did, Claire.
Nothing. It’s normal to want this. Exploring what turns you on doesn’t make you depraved or broken or whatever’s going through your head right now.
It makes you honest. Real. I’d rather be with someone like that than someone who tells me what she thinks I want to hear. ”
Tears burn behind my eyes, and I fight to blink them back.
This man is a complete stranger, yet he sees me more clearly than any other man in my life ever has.
“And if I didn’t need to get on a plane back home tomorrow morning,” he continues, dragging his gaze down my body with quiet reverence, “I’d spend a lot more time helping you figure out what else you like.”
A small smile finds its way to my lips. I’ve never been with anyone like him before. Maybe that’s been my problem. Maybe I need an older man, one who’s experienced enough to know how to please a woman.
And Declan most definitely knows how to please me.
“Well,” I murmur, dragging my fingers through his disheveled dark hair. “My flight doesn’t leave for another ten hours.”
His brow arches. “Oh yeah?”
I give a few slow nods. “Yeah.”
“And how would you like to spend those ten hours?” He inches his lips toward mine.
I hook a leg around his waist and roll him onto his back, grinning as I feel him start to harden against me again.
“I have a few ideas.”