Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
DECLAN
I should be asleep.
Instead, I’m nursing my second scotch at a bar on the outskirts of Sycamore Falls, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
I came here to get out of my head. To stop thinking about Claire. I couldn’t do that in my townhouse. Not when photos of her filled the books Joshua left for me. It shouldn’t have surprised me. It’s obvious how close they were.
How close they are.
But those photos solidified it in living color.
Birthday parties. School concerts. Tree forts. Joshua’s childhood frozen in time.
And Claire was in so many of them.
With grass stains on her jeans and birthday cake on her face. In a soccer uniform, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Joshua, both smiling and red-faced after a game. In a swimsuit at the lake, her arms flung around Joshua, laughing like she didn’t have a care in the world.
They’ve known each other practically since birth. She’s been a fixture in his life for years now. She’s not just a friend. She’s his constant.
And I can’t stop thinking about how goddamn perfect her body felt against mine.
Which is why I needed to go somewhere without the persistent reminders of her and her connection to my son. I figured a bar far away from downtown Sycamore Falls would be safe.
Clearly, the universe has a sense of humor, because this is where she ended up. I should have left the second I met her eyes from across the room.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I stayed, torturing myself and watching her in a darkened corner of the bar like an obsessed stalker. I try to look away as she bends over the pool table, her dark hair tumbling over one shoulder as she lines up a shot. But I can’t.
I’m not the only one who’s noticed her, either. A group of guys lingering nearby are watching her, their eyes tracking her every move. One of them nudges another and jerks his chin in her direction, clearly trying to help him work up the nerve to go over.
He eventually does, despite my muttered curses and threats that he keep his distance. The music is too loud for me to hear their conversation, but it’s obvious he’s asking if they can join their game.
And Claire agrees.
I reach for my wallet, needing to get out of this place before I do something I’ll regret.
Then I hear it. Her laughter floating through the room. It’s bright and unguarded, the kind of laugh that turns heads… Including mine.
When I look her way this time, she angles her body a little too close to the guy in the button-down for my liking.
He passes her a cue, brushing her arm as he does.
It’s casual. Innocent. And yet when Claire tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at him, I’m overcome with a jealousy I’ve never experienced before.
Even worse than watching Joshua touch her. Because I know they’re just friends.
This guy, though? She could go home with him if she wants.
Worse, she could bring him home with her.
Which is probably why I want to break his jaw.
I stare down at the amber liquid in my glass, telling myself to walk away. Be the adult. Be sane.
But then I notice movement in my periphery and watch as Claire disappears down the hallway.
I’m out of my chair before I can think better of it, heading toward the same corridor just as the door to the women’s restroom swings shut.
I lean against the wall and stare at the scuffed floor, trying to pull myself together. Come up with some sort of rationalization for what I’m doing. But there isn’t one.
All the more reason I should turn around right now before Claire sees me waiting outside the ladies’ room.
But I don’t have a chance before the door opens.
Claire steps into the hallway and freezes when she sees me. Her eyes go wide, hand flying to her chest.
“Jesus,” she breathes. “You scared me.”
“Do you want him?” I demand.
Her brows knit together. “What?”
“That guy you’ve been flirting with. Do. You. Want. Him?”
She crosses her arms, lifting her chin in defiance. “Maybe.”
I narrow my eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
She doesn’t respond right away. Just glares at me like she wants to both slap me and kiss me at the same time.
Then her expression softens, showing a vulnerability I didn’t expect. “Maybe I just want to forget you.”
The words hit harder than they should, leaving me momentarily speechless.
“Is that why you’re flirting with him?” I take a cautious step toward her. “To forget me?”
She gives a small nod of her head.
“And have you?” My gaze drops to her mouth.
“No.”
Relief hits me hard and fast. My pulse pounds as I press one hand to the wall beside her, caging her in. The scent of her body wash curls around me — vanilla and spice, warm and infuriatingly addictive.
“But I need to,” she adds, yet doesn’t attempt to retreat. If anything, she leans into me even more.
“Why?”
“We both know why.”
“I don’t think I can ever forget you, Claire.” I edge closer still, regardless of every single reason I shouldn’t be here.
I know this is wrong. Know I should walk away right now, but I hate the idea of anyone else knowing the side of Claire I was lucky enough to have for one night.
“The way you move. The way you feel. The way you taste.”
She closes her eyes as a tiny whimper escapes her throat.
“It’s permanently imprinted in my mind.”
“It was just one night,” she whispers, repeating the same line I’ve heard more times than I can count. The same line I’ve told myself more times than I can count.
But tonight, it doesn’t seem like a reminder.
Instead, it seems like a challenge, especially as her body betrays her words, her hips shifting closer, head tilting back, lips parting like she’s waiting for me to take what we both want.
From the moment I first laid eyes on her, she cast a spell on me. I had a feeling once I had a taste, I’d never be satisfied with anyone else. It wasn’t just the sex. It was the trust she put in me as she shared her deepest desires.
The trust she put in me to give her what she craved.
“It wasn’t just one night,” I growl. “And you know it.”
She licks her lips and arches closer still, her mouth nearly skimming mine. It sends a wave of electricity through me, my body throbbing with need.
Then the sound of footsteps cuts through, snapping us back to reality.
Claire jumps away from me just as Dylan rounds the corner
“Oh.” She comes to an abrupt stop when she sees us. “Declan. I didn’t realize you were here.”
“I guess we have the same taste in bars,” I say, forcing my eyes away from Claire.
“I was just giving Declan a few ideas for Joshua’s Christmas gift,” Claire offers without prompting. “I guess I got carried away.”
“Right,” Dylan draws out, floating her suspicious gaze between us, as if trying to put together a puzzle.
“I’ll be right out,” Claire offers.
Dylan continues to scrutinize us for several more nerve-wracking seconds. Then levels Claire with a look I can’t quite read. “It’s your turn, so hurry back.”
“I will.”
Once we’re alone again, Claire pushes out a long exhale before turning her fiery eyes toward me.
“This…” She gestures between us, “can’t happen again.”
I push out a breath and run my fingers through my hair. “I know.”
Even though nothing did happen. If Dylan hadn’t interrupted, something very well could have.
“I’ll let you get back to your friends.” I increase the space between us, hating to let her go, but I don’t have a choice. “I’m sorry for my behavior. You should feel free to flirt with whomever you want.”
She gives a subtle nod, then spins around, slowly making her way back to her friends. But just before she turns the corner, she glances over her shoulder and meets my gaze one last time. She parts her lips, as if she wants to say something. But she doesn’t.
Instead, she shakes her head before disappearing from view.