11. Olanna
11
OLANNA
NOW
“ M y goodness!!! Olanna, are you okay?” Manny’s eyes widen after he responds to my pounding fists against the door. Unable to get my words out, I throw myself at him, tears leaking out of my eyes and my chest heaving as I struggle to get my words out.
“You’re soaked.” He glances over my shoulder at the pouring rain outside. “Please come in before you catch a cold.” A flicker of lightning passes, followed by a rumble of thunder as he helps me inside the house.
Heather rushes to my side and wraps a large towel around my shoulders before rubbing them. I don’t know how I drove all the way down here in the rain and the tears blurring my vision the whole way through. I just knew when I left the office that I couldn’t go back to the empty house after seeing Alex again today.
Rain on my scalp is one of the triggers for my seborrheic dermatitis and I know Wendy—my loctician—won’t be pleased at my next appointment. I can already feel the flakes building up, but that is the least of my worries right now.
Heather and Manny help me sit on a chair in the dining room. “I’m…so…sorry for making a mess in your house.” I point to the puddles of water and mud on the floor. “I promise I’ll clean it up.” My words come out in between the clattering of my teeth and shivers.
“Honey, please don’t worry about that,” Heather says. “Let’s get you into some dry clothes before you catch pneumonia.” She leads me up the stairs into the guest bedroom, which is much warmer. After changing into comfortable sweatpants and a sweatshirt, I slip on some fluffy slippers before making my way back downstairs, where Manny and Heather are waiting for me.
“Here you go, hun.” Heather places a cup of hot cocoa on a stool in front of me as I lower myself on the sofa in the living room.
I take several sips and let the warm cup transfer the heat to my hands while Heather and Manny sit quietly on either side of me. They don’t say a word and they don’t push until I’m ready to talk. After what seems like forever, even for me, I finally open up.
“You remember our new client from HearCare?” I stall to give myself time to steady my breathing.
“Yeah?” Heather and Manny say in unison.
“They sent a representative to work with us for the next three months and…that representative is…Alex.”
Manny and Heather look at each other briefly before realization dawns on Manny, and he turns to me.
“Alex Obeng?” Manny frowns and I nod. “He has got some nerve showing up there after everything he did to you,” he says through gritted teeth and pushes himself up.
“Baby, please calm down.” Heather’s soothing voice calms both Manny and me as she gets him to sit down again before turning to me. “Did Alex say anything to make you upset?”
“No, but he didn’t need to. His mere presence brought back all the emotions I thought I’d buried. I spent fifteen minutes crying in the toilet because I just couldn’t hold myself together when I saw him. He told me it felt good to see me and I had to restrain myself from slapping him across the face. He was the one who hurt me, but he seems to be handling it really well while I’m the one who can’t sleep, or eat, or concentrate because of him.”
Heather wraps her arm around my shoulders and Manny stands up again and paces the room. “Do you have to work with him?” he asks. “Can you ask HearCare to send someone else?”
I shrug. “I suppose I could, but I’m not sure what reason I would give them without bringing up my personal business. HearCare speaks highly of him and his work ethic. They think he is the best person for the job. I have to think about the company and be professional about it instead of letting my feelings get in the way, but I don’t know how I’m going to do that.”
“What interactions have you had with him so far?” Manny continues his line of questioning.
“Well, we had the introductory meeting with him this morning, but because I needed distraction, I invited the other managers in so Alex could give his presentation. I left immediately after the meeting was over and Lerato and I worked out his schedule, so we have as little one-on-one interactions as possible.”
“That’s good. Do you want me to have a word with him?” Manny asks, and I shake my head. With all the pent up anger he has toward Alex, I don’t want him to actually fulfill his promise of breaking Alex’s face.
“No, I don’t think that would be necessary. I can handle it.” I send Manny a weak smile.
Heather clears her throat and her green gaze meets mine. “Olanna, I understand you’re hurt and angry, but…what if Alex asks to speak to you and explain what happened? Would you give him a chance?”
“He had his chance, and he ruined it,” Manny responds for me, and Heather shakes her head at him.
“Babe, please. Just give her a chance to think about it,” Heather says to her husband before turning back to me. “The reason I ask is that I’ve been in this exact position before. When my mom returned a few years ago and tried to explain to me why she left, I refused to speak to her for months because I was still holding on to so much anger. My therapist encouraged me to speak to her and get some closure, and my healing really started when I did.”
I sigh. “Heather, I don’t think this is the same situation.”
“Of course, it’s an entirely different scenario, but it’s very similar. You still have anger and hurt eating you up inside and you need to forgive him before moving on. Do you really think God brought him back into your life for nothing? He is a God of intentionality, remember? Please, all I ask is that you think about it. Not for me or Manny or even Alex, but for yourself.”
A few minutes pass as I consider Heather’s words. I open my mouth to speak, but I don’t even have the strength to continue with this conversation or to think clearly. A tight band of pain squeezes my head and radiates down my neck, letting me know it’s time to rest. “Thanks, Heather, but I think I’m going to call it a night. Is it okay if I crash here tonight?”
“Of course,” Manny says. “You can stay here as long as you want.”
“Thanks, guys.” I finish my hot cocoa and hug Manny and Heather good night.
Back in the guest bedroom, I take a shower, brush my teeth, and change into some pajamas Heather laid out for me. It’s pouring rain outside, so I pull the curtains closed and climb under the comforter. After listening to my daily dose of my audio Bible, I turn on my Spotify playlist of worship songs as I lie on my bed.
When sleep refuses to come, I pick up my phone to respond to my messages. The first one at the top of my list is Dad’s. He has been giving me daily updates about his Lagos adventures, so I don’t worry about him. Yesterday, he had lunch at a restaurant with two of his business partners and he sent me mouthwatering photos of his amala —a staple swallow food served with ewedu, gbegiri and Buka stew. The fantastic presentation of the meal makes me want to reach into my phone and taste it.
Today, he has sent me videos of the places he visited, including a history lesson about the Third Mainland Bridge—the longest bridge in Nigeria, which connects Lagos Island to the mainland. I chuckle at his commentary about Lagos traffic and for a moment, I wish I was right there with him, experiencing the craziness for myself.
To stop my thoughts from wandering far, I close my messages and open my photo gallery. I saved all the photos of Alex and me in a folder because I couldn’t bring myself to delete them after the breakup. Starting from the beginning, I flip through all the photos we took during our nine months together.
I still remember our dates at the arcade, the ferry ride with the Statue of Liberty behind us, and at the sip and paint event. The painting he gave me is still somewhere in a shoe box tucked underneath my bed. He gave it to me as a gift and I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away either.
The smiles on both our faces were so promising. We looked so happy and so in love. Maybe Heather is right. If Alex asks to speak to me again, maybe I should give him a chance to explain himself because I don’t understand why he gave up on us.
He destroyed everything we built and it wouldn’t be my fault for turning my back on him the same way he turned his back on me. Not knowing what else to do, I turn off my phone, bury my head in my pillow, and whisper my prayers to God until sleep finally comes.