Chapter 5
Five
Mackenzie
You deserve to have meals made for you.
I scooped up the basket from my back seat and steadied my breath. I was nervous and I didn't know why. Everything I learned today was chaotic but good. Scott and I were still friends. I hadn't been forgotten or swept under the rug with old high school memories.
But the rest? It was hard to reconcile. In my mind, my crush was unreciprocated, but now I knew that wasn't true. Not at all. It was more than a crush. It was full blown interest.
I slammed the car door and looked up at the house. Scott stood on the porch looking lethally sexy with his hands on his hips. "You didn't need to bring anything. You know that."
I clutched my basket tighter. It was filled with armor in the form of food. My barrier between my nerves and whatever this was becoming. "I wanted to bake you cookies."
His eyebrows shot up. "You want to bake for me?"
When he said it like that it sounded old fashioned. "I need something to do and you love cookies?" I shrugged.
He nodded once and met me at the foot of the steps to take it from me. "I'm glad you came. As promised, Piggy is playing video games in my living room."
So we weren't alone. A breath of relief escaped me. As much as I liked Scott, I needed an on-ramp. Some time to make my version of our past lineup with all this new information.
His other hand came to cup my elbow. The light contact sent a shiver over my skin and my belly swooping. "Welcome to my home."
I wanted to sway into his side, tuck myself there like it was where I belonged. He pushed open the door and I stepped into a short foyer that led to a soaring living room with wooden floors and large windows. A fireplace with gray stone dominated the far wall and a modern kitchen sprawled across the rest of the space.
Jasper—I refused to call him Piggy—sat in one of two low slung chairs in front of a large television playing something with enormous swords and ugly green creatures.
"Hey Jasper."
"Hey Mack! Long time no see." He didn't look away from his game and I didn't expect him to.
Scott set my basket on his large gleaming kitchen counter. It was a well laid out design which I should have expected from someone who made food his lifeblood. But still, I was a little surprised by all the smooth lines, the modern feel, and the gray. Scott had always been a flannels and jeans kind of guy and his wardrobe hadn't changed much, but apparently some other things had. In a way, I almost expected Scott's house to mirror the Shaw Homestead of our childhood, which was an older cabin-style home with wood everything and bright colors and ancient furniture.
"What do you think?" Scott asked, watching me examine his home.
"It's lovely. I didn't peg you as a lover of gray though." A staircase tucked into the corner led up to a loft and what I assumed was at least one bedroom. It was all so very grownup, another reminder we weren't kids anymore and a lot had changed.
Scott shoved his hands in his pockets. "Digger is all about modernizing the mountain aesthetic." Digger earned his nickname because as soon as he was allowed to, he started working the bulldozer for his father's construction company.
"You should see his place!" Jasper called out as his thumbs worked the controller.
Scott shrugged. "Digger went completely modern for his place. If you ask me, it sticks out like a sore thumb. I like this blend better. This doesn't feel like my parents' house or like I'm stuck in a time loop, but it still has that warm feeling you get from wood beams and roaring fires."
"I agree." Although I wanted to add a little more color and some softness.
Not that it was my place to do so.
"You're living back home, right?"
My gut twisted. "Yeah, for now." Some people wanted the memories, wanted nothing to change, but that wasn't me. I felt like I was stuck. Dad's room was just that. I slept in my old room and avoided the wall of pictures. I barely used the kitchen and ignored everything else.
"You should move into that fancy cabin," Jasper called over his shoulder. "What do they call it? Golden Hour?"
I'd thought about it for a hot minute before renting it out. But it was just too something . Too posh? Too isolated? Yeah, that was it. That fancy cabin up on that mountain all by itself. That was the last thing I needed. "I actually rented out that property for the summer. I think I might sell it after that."
Scott's eyebrows jumped. "I thought Digger was on board for developing it?"
I started unloading my basket, laying out my ingredients in the approximate order I'd use them. Without missing a beat Scott produced cookie sheets and mixing bowls.
"The plan is solid and it's a good property for something like that." Dad and Digger planned to add five cabins to the property. It would still give each one privacy and it would make it less isolated, but it would also mean ongoing construction for a couple of years. It was hard to sell a private luxury vacation in the peaceful mountains if there were chainsaws and nail guns running all the time.
"But?" Scott prompted.
I shrugged. "There are a few reasons. One of which being I don't have the bandwidth right now. Part of me just wants to focus on our current inventory of cabins. I could keep renting out Golden Hour and leave the rest of the property untouched, or I could sell it and take the injection of cash to balance our books better."
Scott hummed. "That makes sense. Joanne says you've been working nonstop to get to this point."
I welcomed the work. It was good to be busy, otherwise I might have crawled into bed and not gotten out. But at some point I would burn out.
" And it would be easier to take you out if you weren't working all the time." Scott covered my hand with his and squeezed before letting me go again. "Plus Digger would be all up in our business and no one wants that."
Yeah no, absolutely not. I liked the guy well enough to hang out with him, but Digger had opinions on sex and didn't feel the need to hold back.
The front door swung open and the man himself walked in with Logan Finn. Digger held up a six-pack. "Hey Mack!" He gave me a quick hug. "You remember Huk's brother?"
I only recognized him because of the family resemblance. He was a spitting image of Huk from his brown hair to his light-changing eyes, only a little leaner and shorter. "Of course, Logan right?"
He blushed as he nodded. "I've been working with Digger."
"Mack is baking us cookies." Scott said with a pointed glare at poor, young, blushing Logan.
I almost felt bad for him, but I liked that glare far too much to care. "May I use your microwave to soften up this butter?"
"What's mine is yours, Mackenzie." He said it quietly with a low rumble that told me he meant it exactly the way he said it.
Which had the precise effect of turning my insides into butterflies and had my thighs squeezing together. If he said that while between said thighs would that rumble sink into my skin? For the last few hours I'd allowed my thoughts to stray more and more towards our potential chemistry, something I'd never done with much detail because wanting something I couldn't have was too painful.
But now...now I might just be able to have it and it was nearly impossible to think of anything else. If a gentle touch evoked such a strong physical reaction what would a kiss do?
While Logan and Digger joined Jasper in front of the television, Scott stayed with me, watching as I mixed together the simple ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.
"It's not often someone cooks for me these days. This feels...new." He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge, twisted off the caps, and set one in front of me while he settled onto the stool nearby. "But I think I like it."
"Do you bake or just cook?" I dropped the softened butter into the bowl and began mixing ingredients.
"I almost never bake." He swallowed. Hard.
And that sent a thrill through me. I liked that I stumbled into something nice for Scott. I liked even more that he appreciated it so much.
He cleared his throat, but his voice was still rough. "Has anyone been cooking for you lately?"
My nerves disappeared. How could I still be anxious when he sounded so jealous and hopeful and disgruntled at the same time? "No one has cooked for me in a long time. Not until today." I shot him a smile as I mixed the wet and dry ingredients together. "It was really nice."
That disgruntled look multiplied. "I will cook for you anytime. I really wish we'd cleared this up sooner. You deserve to have meals made for you, Mackenzie."
Oh, he was too cute when he got his grouch on. My heart pattered away in my chest while visions of my skin colliding with his danced in my head. "I mean, technically, Annie cooks for me sometimes."
"Visiting the only restaurant in town and ordering off the menu is not what I mean, and you know it." He pointed at me. "I will be doing your cooking. You want breakfast dropped off at the office?"
My brain short circuited on the image of Scott standing in this kitchen in nothing but his boxers making me breakfast. It utterly ignored the office delivery part. "And what would you make me for breakfast?"
In went the chocolate chips. More than my grandmother's recipe called for because Scott liked them extra chocolatey.
"Anything you want. Pancakes, eggs, I'll make you a fucking soufflé if that's what you like. Place your order now because there's no convincing me otherwise."
"What if I don't eat breakfast?"
When he didn't reply I looked up to find him staring at me.
"What?" I shrugged.
"Mackenzie. You pass out two hours after waking up if you don't eat. You need protein and little to no sugar, so the pancakes are out, but I do make a high protein oatmeal pancake tower layered with Greek yogurt and fruit that might pass the test. Do you still hate fruit?"
Oh my. Scott paid attention. A lot of attention. And kept it memorized for years. "I don't mind fruit these days. I really like yogurt, granola, and fruit compote for breakfast. I fell in love with it when I interned in London."
"Shall I bring it to your house or meet you at the office?" He cocked an eyebrow, daring me to refuse him again.
I couldn't unhinge my jaw. The house? The place I barely existed? No. Absolutely not. I didn't want whatever this was becoming, this new and beautiful thing, to be tainted by the time capsule that was my current living arrangement. "The office."
He nodded once. "I'm headed to the city tomorrow to pick up supplies from my distributor, so I won't be able to make you lunch again. Do you need anything from town? I'm happy to pick up anything while I'm there."
The city wasn't the other side of the moon, but it wasn't a quick trip either. He'd be gone most of the day and for some reason that made me sad. I wasn't sure why since I'd be working all day just like always. Maybe it was just knowing he wouldn't be near. "Thank you for asking but I'm good."
"If you think of anything, call me or text me. I mean it." He nodded to the cookie sheet. "Those ready to go in?"
I glanced down, startled. I must have moved on autopilot because all the cookies were laid out in nice rows, ready to be baked. "Oh! Yes."
He took the sheet and slid it into the oven and set the timer. "Hungry? If I don't feed these animals they starve or eat chicken tenders from the microwave, which is sacrilegious."
My stomach growled, answering for me. "I could eat."
His fingers flew over his phone and a moment later it vibrated. "Looks like it's just the five of us tonight. Travis and Joanne have been called to family dinner."
"More for me!" Logan said as he poked his game controller.
Digger and Jasper had their faces scrunched, bouncing in their chairs. An intense battle of some kind was taking place. Nothing had changed in all these years except which video game was being played. Everyone gravitated to Scott, who fussed over and fed them, all while I shrank into a corner and watched it all play out.
Except this time Scott had no intention of letting me blend in. "Help me?" He hooked a hand around my hip and redirected me to the center of the kitchen.
"I doubt you need any help."
"Then keep me company. I'm not making anything complicated." He handed me a pot and nodded to the sink.
I filled it and set it to boil on the fancy gas range while Scott sliced mushrooms, onions, and garlic. I was entranced by how fast he moved, how long his fingers were. Would he handle me in such a precise, capable way? "What do they eat on the nights you're at the bar? Where do they go? If you leave them alone for too long, do they go feral?"
He huffed. "More often than not they wind up at the bar so I can feed them and keep an eye on them." His head jolted up. "Hey, no fucking fighting!" Then he muttered under his breath, "It's not a fucking episode of fucking Peaky Blinders ."
Digger shoved Jasper over and Jasper smacked Digger upside the head with a couch cushion but then they righted the chair and went right back to their game like nothing happened at all.
Scott created a simple shrimp pasta that everyone devoured in a matter of minutes before attacking the warm cookies. Not a crumb was left. Then the boys went to work cleaning up and Scott took my hand. "Let me show you something."
"You trust them to do the washing and cleaning?"
He shrugged. "I've trained them well. It's the price they pay for my cooking. Besides, cleaning up is my least favorite part of the process."
Not that there was much to clean besides the dishes. Scott was also very good at cleaning as he worked, keeping the mess to a minimum.
Logan snapped a dish towel at Jasper who howled and vowed to put salt in his next meal. As entertaining as this was, Scott's offer was more intriguing, so I took his offered hand and followed him out onto the deck.
Like the rest of the house, it was sleek and modern and looked into the jungle-like wilderness of the river’s gorge we called home. With the door closed it was quiet except for the wind in the trees and hum of insects switching from day to night. "The bar must be doing quite well, Scott. This is such a nice place." I envied him. This truly felt like home, a place to curl up at the end of a long day and simply relax or have your gaggle of friends over for a big dinner.
"It helps that this land was owned by Digger's family. They divided it up and sold it to us for a steal."
"Us?"
He pointed as he spoke. "Joanne, me, Piggy, Travis. There are still two undeveloped lots they're saving for close family or friends."
"Oh!" I blinked as the information sank in. Joanne had said something about this, but my mind had been too preoccupied with my dad and keeping the business going to fully comprehend what she was saying. "That's incredibly nice of them."
"We've all got plenty of space and our neighbors are all family. We take care of our own in Lost Creek, you know that." The dim lights of the deck reflected in his eyes. "Right?"
Aside from Aunt Sharon, Maeve, and Joanne, I'd done an admirable job of pushing everyone away and hiding. It was easier on my heart to focus on the gossip and forget about the community. It wasn't perfect, but while the outside world fixated on dividends and profits, Lost Creek just wanted every resident to live a good life. "I think I needed to hear that."
"I know you did. That's why I said it. And I'll say it as many times as you need. You belong here, Mackenzie. You're not an outcast and the only thing these nights have been missing is you."
His gaze was too intense. It made me feel naked. My skin was too tight and my lungs couldn't quite expand properly. So I turned to watch the lightning bugs blinking.
"I'm glad you brought cookies to bake. I don't want you to be nervous around me. I want you to use my shoulder as a pillow again. So if cookies help you get your feet under you, then bake all the damn cookies. The boys will make sure your efforts never go to waste."
My breath finally whooshed out and I had to clutch my belly to keep the wild, swirling emotions inside. Scott was right here, so close, and all the things I thought were impossible were right here. He was right here. "What if we kiss and it's awful?"
"It won't be awful."
"How do you know?" I turned my head just enough to sweep my eyes over him.
"Because just being near you makes me feel things I've never felt with anyone before. I think you feel it too."
I gripped the railing because yes, my feelings were having feelings.
"And if you're that worried a kiss could destroy our friendship then I'll just have to kiss you now and put that to rest."
It all happened so fast. His hand cupped my cheek and his fingers threaded into my hair as he pulled me closer, all while he dipped down and pressed his lips to mine.
Scott Shaw was kissing me. My hands froze in midair and then finally settled on his chest as his other hand spanned the small of my back, pulling me even closer to him.
There was nothing awkward about this. Nothing friendly. The way he hungrily devoured me made me feel sexy and wanted. I kissed him right back, memorizing his lips, his soft moans, his gentle coaxing for more.
"Let me take you out, Mackenzie." He pressed his forehead against mine. "If it's terrible, we forget it and go back to being friends knowing we gave it a shot. And if it's as good as I know it will be, then we can start making plans."
"Plans?" I could barely breathe let alone think straight. What was in that kiss? Stardust? Magic?
"For the future. Like how you'll be sleeping here from now on."
My eyes flew open to find his staring right at me, dark and desperate. "I'll be what now?"
His hand slid over my cheek, his rough thumb caressing my lower lip. "You heard me. But first a date. Say yes, Mackenzie."
This morning I thought Scott didn't even know who I was, and now he was demanding I move in with him?
"I want this, Mackenzie," he growled. "I want to prove to you that I've been mad for you since we were teenagers. Now that we've proven this is so much more than friends, I'm going to need that date as soon as humanly possible. I'm dying here."
Grouchy Scott turned me on.
Desperate Scott made me combust. "Then we better make plans."