Chapter 8
Eight
Scott
You're just more emotionally constipated than I am.
I didn't mind following Mackenzie up the steep trail. Not one bit. It was still fairly chilly, especially at the higher elevation, so she wore thick leggings that gave me an unprecedented view of her magnificent ass. I wanted to bite it but managed to keep my teeth in my mouth and my hands to myself.
But I was only human. I could only resist for so long.
Between this incredible view and the full smile she greeted me with this morning, I was done for.
"The rhododendrons are looking good."
Not as good as you. I cleared my throat. "Uh, yeah. They are."
The ground leveled off and she stopped for a second to catch her breath when a bevy of deer decided to crash our date. "Well look at them." I stood behind Mackenzie, wanting to put my hands on her and just feel.
"I used to ask my mom if I could keep one as a pet."
Mackenzie rarely talked about her mother without an edge to her voice, so it caught my attention. She seemed wistful instead of sad. "And what would she say to that?"
"That deer were too big for the house."
"Very practical." The animals watched us but mostly stayed busy with their food, nibbling away at the vegetation.
To my complete shock and utter satisfaction, she leaned back against me. Her shoulder on my chest, her head on my shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut because this was it. The kiss had been huge, but this was everything. I tentatively put my hands on her hips. "Is this okay?"
She hummed and nodded.
One of the deer cocked its head at that sound. Yeah, I like it too, friend.
"It's like we're the only two people in the world. I forgot it was like this out here," she whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
We had our deer friends about thirty feet away and of course the birds, squirrels, and insects, but no humans. We hadn't seen any since we left Lost Creek. Not even at the trailhead. My truck was the only one in the tiny parking lot. "It's still early for tourists to venture up this way. Or at all." This was mostly a locals trail. You had to know to even look for it. Every once in a while Travis got someone desperate for a unique adventure and he'd bring them up here, let them experience the complete isolation, but other than the height of summer, this trail was usually a perfect spot for solitude.
The wind raced through the fresh spring leaves creating a shimmering sound. It also made Mackenzie shiver. So I wrapped my arms fully around her. She was soft and warm and I never wanted to let her go. "Better?"
"Much better."
We stayed just like that while the deer ignored us. For all our touching I'd never had the chance to feel the whole of her body against mine before last night and feeling her again was short-circuiting my brain. I couldn't identify anything specific about her softness or the way we fit together that was just so right, only that our bodies belonged together, and when they touched, pleasure gripped me from the inside out.
Unfortunately the deer decided to move off leaving me with no excuse to keep her in my arms in the middle of an empty trail. "It's not too much further."
"Where are you taking me anyway? Why all the secrets?"
I reluctantly let her go. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not the most talkative human being on the planet."
"And yet you say many things to me." She shot me a sassy smile over her shoulder.
"I like talking to you. Just like always." Sometimes we didn't talk at all. We just sat together, and it was the same as when words came from our mouths. Some people needed the constant stream of thoughts to communicate what we did with existing in the same space.
"Well then where are we going?"
"It's one of the reservoir lakes the power company uses to supply the main plant. Excellent fishing and no one usually bothers me."
She paused and turned. "Are you taking me to your secret fishing hole?"
I waved for her to continue. "It's not secret. Just...under appreciated. And yes."
"Yes, it's your secret fishing hole?"
"The best fish I've caught have all come from here. When it warms up we can come back and swim."
Mackenzie missed a step but caught herself and kept going. "My, my. You do enjoy making big plans."
"Only way to live when you know what you want."
She turned to face me, hands on her hips, eyebrow arched. "Out with it. All of it. Confess, Scott."
"I think I've made myself pretty clear."
"Then repeat yourself. I don't recall hearing anything about swimming this summer until just now."
Damn she was adorable when she got all sassy. I stepped into her, our bodies just barely touching, her neck craning to look up at me. "I want many things, Mackenzie. First, I want you to move in with me. Immediately. I don't see a purpose to us taking anything slowly. We already know each other better than most couples. Move in and we can start to deal with your father's house. Together. Second," I didn't give her a chance to interrupt, "we are a couple. Call it whatever you want, but you're mine and I'm yours. Third, we live our lives. That includes secluded hikes and skinny dipping in lakes. We will cuddle and watch movies and read books naked in bed. I will cook for you and you will bake for me and we're going to be so fucking happy, Mackenzie."
"Just like that?" she whispered.
"Just like that. No reason to make it more complicated for no reason." I cupped her face. "I dare you to tell me you don't want it." I knew she did, but I held my breath anyway.
"It would have been nice to be asked instead of told."
I brought my other hand to her face and held her gently. "Mackenzie Howard, would you like to live your life with me? I have a charming home, a driving need to feed the people I love, and a burning desire to worship at your feet. I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I love your heart and just about everything about you."
"That sounded an awful lot like a proposal."
I hummed. "Maybe it was. Or maybe those were my vows and we're already married."
"This is insane. You're insane."
"What about this is insane? We're spending the rest of our lives together. No sense in dragging our feet."
She pulled away and paced with her hand on her forehead. "We knew each other years ago."
"Have you changed? Fundamentally? Because you were my favorite person back then and I've seen nothing to change my mind in the last few days."
"No, I haven't changed!" She threw her hands in the air. "You don't go into a life pact after a couple of days!"
I could keep pushing the issue but I was afraid if I pushed too hard she'd turn and jump right off a cliff. "Then let's go to the lake and get busy getting to know each other." It wasn't going to change a damn thing but until she knew that, this conversation was pointless.
She turned and stomped down the trail. Five minutes later we were at the lake. Not a word was spoken as I laid out a blanket and assembled my fishing gear. I offered her the pole, but she shook her head.
"I don't have a fishing license."
"I do and there's no one here but us." I wiggled the pole, but she refused.
"You fish. I'm going to stare at the clouds and figure out which alternate dimension I slipped into."
"That's easy, it's the one where you're deliriously happy because you let me love you."
"You know, some people can't say that word at all and you're out here peppering it at me like candy."
Like me loving her was somehow inconceivable? "I love you, Mackenzie. I know it and you know it; you're just more emotionally constipated than I am, and for good reason. If I'd been through what you have, I'd be more cautious with my heart than I currently am. So until you catch up, I'll do the loving. I love you. It wasn't a slip of the tongue or a saying. I. Love. You. Now enjoy your cloud gazing while I prove my worth by catching our dinner."
"Crazy, foolish man," she muttered as she laid down and crossed her arms, scowling at the sky.
"Rather be a fool who took his shot than the fool I was before." I wasn't sure why loving her was foolish when it seemed like the most logical thing in the world to me, but I'd give her a few minutes to process.
Little Lost Creek Lake was a dammed creek turned into a small lake that was so secluded there were stories of the power company's crews getting lost on the way to do maintenance. Which was why they now included someone born and raised in these mountains on every crew. In the summer there would be families having lake days up here. But until it warmed up we would have the place to ourselves, most likely. It's why I enjoyed coming up here when I needed to clear my head and think.
The sky was a hazy blue today with clouds refusing to burn off. I had two decent sized fish by the time Mackenzie came to stand beside me. "It really is peaceful here. We live in a magical place."
"You've traveled a lot more than I have."
"The gorge, the mountains, the clouds, the rain...we live in a fairytale. I'm glad it's hidden away and most people don't know how beautiful it is."
"I didn't realize you were so selfish," I teased.
She shrugged. "I can be with the things I love." She gulped and that driving ache returned to my chest. I wanted to be old married people already, and every minute she made me wait felt like an extra ton pressing down on me. "I can be very selfish actually."
"Do go on. I am dying to hear what you're thinking."
She huffed, bounced on her toes. "If...if I say yes to this madness, that's it. You're mine. I don't share. I don't cheat. I will go absolutely feral if you so much as glance at another woman."
Which was the best damn news I'd ever heard. I set my pole aside and turned to face this magnificent, jealous woman. "Babe, if I am looking at a woman it's because she's ordering something from my menu. Trust me, there's no one I will look at and appreciate but you. I'd rather gouge my own eyes out."
She made a noise in the back of her throat.
"I like this territorial side of you very much. It's good to know we're feeling the same things."
"You're territorial?"
"I've been pissing a circle around you for years. Every man in this town knows not to touch you. Why do you think I'm trying so hard to lock you down?"
She nibbled the corner of her lips, going all shy on me again. "Oh."
I hooked my arm around her waist and kissed her. It was every bit as life-altering as the first. My center shifted and my body was no longer mine to control. It wanted to mark and claim. "I'm yours. Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Whatever you need, it's yours. I will make this work." I will make up for lost time.
I didn't want to dwell on the years we spent apart, the years we hypothetically could have had together. We didn't. But I also didn't want to waste another minute of my life without her.
"Have you proven your manliness yet?"
I growled. "No. I need at least one more trout. The bluegill are hiding today."
"Well then I'll get back to appreciating how sexy you are while you do it." She slipped her hand into my back pocket and squeezed.
Maybe this was the key with Mackenzie. Be direct. Be clear. And then stand back and wait for her to catch up.
If that was the case, we were going to be just fine.