CHAPTER 20 #2
“It really is you,” Diego murmured, staring at Victor so intently that Victor wondered if he had something on his face.
“Of course it’s me.”
“Yeah, but… it’s really not.” Diego gave Victor a once-over. “Jesus christo, you’re…ah.” Diego cut himself off, looking away and shoving his hands in his pockets. How typical of him to avoid conflict by not saying what he meant.
“I’m what?”
“Dios mio, no te enojes. I’m just… shocked, that’s all. You look so different. I barely recognize you.”
“Really? What’s changed?” Victor asked sarcastically.
He probably shouldn’t give Diego such a hard time, but he was still hurting after Diego rejected him.
Even after Victor cancelled the wedding, they’d tried to make it work.
Diego had insisted upon that, at least until the reality of Victor’s transition really hit him.
Victor was not going to change his mind, and he wasn’t going through a phase.
Victor really did want a beard, a low voice, and top surgery—several things Diego could not handle when all he’d wanted was a pretty wife.
To his credit, Diego seemed pained by Victor’s attempt at conflict.
His gaze briefly bounced toward Victor’s chest, then back up.
Victor hoped he got his confirmation that Victor had really gone through the procedure that Diego had said was a dealbreaker.
Fortunately they’d broken up long before Victor could afford the surgery.
“Part of me wondered if you’d change your mind,” Diego muttered.
“Clearly I didn’t.”
“I don’t get this. I never did.”
“You don’t have to.”
“But you were so pretty. I don’t—”
“We are not rehashing this.”
“Okay, okay.” Diego threw up his hands and took a step back. “I know how you are. Once your mind is made up… I guess I just…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I still think about you sometimes. I was wondering how you were doing, if you were still involved with horses. Last I heard, you were in LA.”
“I train horses in Oklahoma now. I inherited my aunt’s farm after she died.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear about that. Your aunt, I mean. You were close to her, right?”
“As close as I could be when we lived so far apart.”
Diego nodded absently, reaching out a hand to rest briefly on Blitz’s forehead.
“You still riding?” Victor asked, as if this were just some normal conversation with a man who hadn’t ground Victor’s heart into meat paste.
“Por supuesto que sí. Couldn’t stay away if I tried.”
“That’s good.”
They stood in awkward silence for a few seconds, both staring at Blitz as if he were the most interesting thing in the world.
Victor caught a glimpse at Diego’s profile, hating the pain that shot across his chest. It shouldn’t have hurt so much this long after they’d broken up.
Didn’t they call them wounds for a reason?
Wounds were supposed to heal. Instead Diego felt like a broken bone that was never set right.
What burned Victor the most was that while Diego stopped being attracted to Victor, Victor never stopped being attracted to him.
Victor often wondered how he’d feel if Diego had been the one to come out instead.
Would Victor have stuck around even though he typically had no interest in women?
Probably. For Diego, Victor would have done everything in his power.
“So, are you married now?” Victor had to ask.
“Oh, um, yeah.”
“Camila, right?”
“You heard about that?”
“Saw it on Facebook.”
“Yeah, she’s here with me. She ran off to get some food.”
Victor nodded, feeling very tired. He’d probably hate her, even if she didn’t say a single word. Did Diego ever tell her about him? Did she know who had Diego first? She probably didn’t care. Victor was no longer a threat to anything she had.
Suddenly a hand clamped down on Victor’s shoulder from behind, and Victor jolted, spinning around a bit too quickly and almost losing his balance. He found himself face to face with a Carhartt jacket, so he craned his head back to look at Johnny, who had appeared seemingly out of thin air.
“Heya there,” Johnny said brightly, hand feeling heavier than usual on Victor’s shoulder. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Huh?” Victor’s brain stuttered for a second, then roared back to life like the engine of an old motorcycle. “Oh. This is—this is um, Diego. We grew up with each other in California.”
Johnny turned to Diego. “Right, yeah, Diego.” He stretched out a hand to shake. “Name’s Johnny Stearns. I’m one of Vic’s friends.”
“Stearns? Wasn’t that the name of the girl who rode Blitz this morning?” Diego asked, slightly baffled as he shook Johnny’s hand.
“My niece. Wasn’t she great? She got second place.”
“Not a shocker. Blitz is an awesome horse, and Vi-ctor is a talented trainer,” Diego said, saying Victor’s name like he was trying to speak around something stuck in his teeth.
“Sure is. If Taylor had her way, Victor would adopt her and she’d have access to the horses 24/7. Ain’t that all ten-year-old girls though?”
“If they’re raised right,” Diego replied. He paused, giving Johnny a quick once-over. “Sorry, I’m just re-thinking your last name… you wouldn’t happen to do rodeo, would you? Are you that Johnny Stearns?”
Johnny blinked before his grin grew wider. He’d already had a run-in with a fan yesterday, according to his own re-telling. This was probably the place where he’d be most likely to be recognized, considering the rodeo running every night.
“That’s me,” he said with a smug smile.
“Wow, okay.”
“Since when do you follow rodeo?” Victor asked Diego, bitter he didn’t know this.
“Camila’s into it. We watch it together.” Diego turned back to Johnny. “Last I heard, you were recovering from an injury. Is that right?”
“Yeah, that injury retired me.”
“Shit, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Nature of the sport, I guess.” Johnny slid his thumbs inside his belt and shrugged. “Had a helluva time while I was in it.”
“So you won’t be riding the rodeo tonight? I think they’re doing saddle bronc, because they were doing slack this morning.”
“Nah, just watchin’. I’m gonna get lunch with some of my old rodeo buddies so we can catch up. Actually, that’s why I came back here.” He turned to Victor. “Can you look after Taylor for a few hours?”
“Uh, sure.”
“You got any old embarrassin’ stories about Victor from the old days?” Johnny asked Diego with a sardonic twist in his mouth. “I wanna know what nonsense you two boys got up to back in California.”
“I—you…” Diego’s eyes bounced from Johnny to Victor.
Victor’s blood ran cold, wondering if Diego might tell Johnny the truth just as a final fuck you to finish off their turbulent relationship.
He mouthed please don’t, and he knew Diego caught it because their eyes met.
Diego sucked in a breath and his expression smoothed over.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but Victor’s always been the dignified one.
I was the one showing my ass all the time. ”
“Sounds a bit like how we are, eh, Vic?” Johnny nudged Victor with an elbow.
“Vic’s always gettin’ me outta one situation or another.
Shame he wasn’t around in my rodeo days.
Man, I should tell you about the time I woke up in the back of somebody’s—aww, well, I won’t keep ya.
Looks like your lady friend’s found us.”
Indeed, someone who looked awfully a lot like Diego’s wife walked up behind him carrying a paper plate full of fries and a tray with two drinks.
She was much shorter than Diego, maybe five-foot-two, which Diego probably liked.
She was a pretty woman with manicured nails and a face full of make-up, neither of which Victor had ever mastered or enjoyed.
Victor allowed himself a moment of grace and decided they were good together.
She was what Diego had always wanted from Victor.
“Oh, Camila.” Diego’s face turned a shade of pink as he looked between his wife and Victor. “Uh, I was just chatting with an old friend from California and—”
“Johnny Stearns, is that you?” Camila asked with a growing grin. “Oh my God, Diego, you know Johnny Stearns?”
“Well, um—”
“Nice to meet you, young lady,” Johnny said, again thrusting his hand out with one of those shit-eating grins he only ever had in the presence of pretty women. “Johnny Stearns at your service.”
Victor felt like he’d officially entered hell, because now his ex’s wife was shaking hands with the man Victor whose hands currently held Victor’s heart.
Camila thrust the food she was carrying into Diego’s chest and went looking in her purse for something she could have Johnny sign, then insisted Diego take a picture of them together, remarking with a laugh at their height difference.
Apparently she’d been following Johnny’s career for years, and she proceeded to tell him how she’d always liked his goofy good humor when so many others were what she called scowlers.
Johnny asked if she was attending tonight’s rodeo, and she responded, “Of course!”
“Y’all can sit with us if you want,” Johnny offered, oblivious to Victor’s sudden and violent reaction.
“Really?” Camila replied with apparent relish.
“Uh, we don’t want to bother them,” Diego quickly interjected, eyes darting between his wife and Victor. “We’re sitting with my cousins, remember?”
“They’re welcome, too. The more the merrier,” Johnny said. “I mean, ain’t you and Vic two old buds? Surely you’ll want to catch up—”
“I’m actually busy at that time,” Victor said a bit too loudly. “But thank you for the offer.”
“Busy with what? Ain’t you comin’ to the rodeo?” Johnny asked.
“Yeah, but I’ll be on a, uh, date.”
“A what?” Diego and Johnny said at once. Diego’s was more inquisitive, but Johnny seemed offended, and the perturbed look on his face gave Victor a pure vindictive thrill.
“Yup, a date. So whatever you guys wanna do, that’s up to you. But I’ll be otherwise occupied.”