Chapter 15
When Kenna found out Skylar never watched Family Matters , she knew she had to remedy that immediately.
Over the past couple of weeks, that was pretty much all they did.
Kenna made sure Skylar did all her schoolwork.
It helped that she was home schooled, but the rest of their days were spent lounging in bed and watching old sitcoms.
They didn’t talk much, but their bond had grown to be rock solid.
A therapist might say it was an unhealthy attachment built on trauma, but Kenna didn’t look at it that way.
All she saw was herself when she looked at Skylar, and she knew she was the only person that could help her come out of this trauma better.
Better than she had. She wouldn’t allow Skylar to wallow indoors for much longer.
That pattern was the one Kenna fell into, and since meeting Damien, she realized how unhealthy that was. No, Skylar would be better than her.
Now, she had to mentally prepare for that because if she was going to force Skylar to start living life again, then she knew she would need to too.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Skylar spoke just above the low volume of the TV. “Mommy said you survived a school shooting.” Like Kenna said, she and Skylar hadn’t done much talking, so her statement rendered Kenna speechless. “Is that how you knew what to do?”
Skylar turned to face Kenna. They typically bounced around between Skylar’s room and Damien’s room. That day, they were in Damien’s room lying on their backs with their heads propped up by pillows.
When Kenna finally tilted her head to look at her, she felt a lump form in her throat. “I guess,” she muttered.
Skylar nodded. “I never apologized.”
Kenna’s brows pulled in and she sat up while muting the TV. “What do you have to apologize for?”
Skylar fidgeted with her hands, and Kenna’s heart sank. She recognized that tick. It was one she developed long ago. Of course, many people did that when they had uncomfortable conversations, but something about Skylar doing it made Kenna’s heart ache.
Skylar sighed. “I was trying to get you in trouble with my dad. I mean, I liked Big Len…” Kenna watched patiently as Skylar’s eyes misted over while she struggled to continue, but she finally did.
“I really did like him, so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. I thought if my dad found out you brought me to that theater to meet a boy…”
“He might break up with me,” Kenna finished for her before letting out a long sigh. “Skylar?—”
“Thank you,” Skylar interrupted, “and I’m sorry. It was my fault we were even there…”
Kenna surprised them both when she laughed. “I’m sorry.” She covered her mouth, but another laugh escaped her. “It’s not funny. I’m sorry. I just…” Another giggle fell from her lips, and it didn’t take long for the funny bug to infect Skylar too.
Before long, they were both rolling around on the bed laughing, and then their laughing turned into pained cries. The switch happened so suddenly for them both, but their tears felt therapeutic as they released from their souls.
Finally, Kenna was able to pull herself together enough to put her arm around Skylar, who easily found comfort in laying her head on Kenna’s lap.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Kenna’s voice sounded hoarse after laughing and crying so hard. “Sometimes, God uses shitty situations to teach us lessons. I don’t know what yours is, and you may not know yet either, but one day you will.”
Skylar was silent for a moment before she asked, “What was your lesson?”
Kenna stilled. Her mind went straight to her brother. She envisioned his smile. His laugh. The way he used to act like he was the older sibling. Anger filled her first, but then a small smile played on her lips as a couple of fat tears fell from her eyes.
She had a lot of time to think about why her trauma had to be hers. Even with this new level of trauma, she knew the lesson was an extension to the first one.
“My brother died in the school shooting, and I was never the same after.”
Skylar shifted and looked up at Kenna. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. How old was he?”
“Fourteen.”
“Not that much older than me,” Skylar commented sadly.
“No,” Kenna agreed in a whisper.
“I was angry for a long time. I think that’s okay—to be angry.
I messed up when I allowed my depression and anger to take over my life.
That day all those years ago was a lesson for me, but I didn’t understand it until I met your father.
” Kenna softly smiled down at Skylar. “It took too many years to understand that I should have been cherishing life, Skylar, and loving the people who loved me extra hard because life is short. I know people always say that and it doesn’t truly resonate with a person unless they’ve lost someone, especially when they were young, but it’s true all the same.
I wasted a lot of my life not understanding that lesson, but your dad woke me up.
This time—at the theater—I learned the lesson a lot quicker. ”
Skylar looked completely invested in what Kenna had to say. “What is it? What’s the lesson?”
“That it’s not enough to live life and try to forget.
Remembering, not only because these events are a part of my life and shape who I am, but also because remembering can be a superpower.
If I don’t let the trauma debilitate me, it can build my instincts and my confidence as I walk through life.
I have this internal warning bell when it comes to danger.
I heard it at the theater, but I ignored it.
If I hadn’t… well, you’re not the one only one that should be sorry.
I knew better, and I still allowed it to happen.
” Kenna rubbed Skylar’s hair. “Yes, the day I lost my brother is exactly why I knew what to do at the theater, but it never should have gotten to that point.”
They allowed themselves to fall into a deep silence as they watched the TV screen with no sound coming from it.
Eventually, the bedroom door opened, and Damien walked into the room. Over his shoulder, he called, “Found them!”
A moment later, Jendaya walked into the room too. They stood just inside the room with their arms folded over their chests.
“Uh oh.” Skylar groaned. “They mean business.”
“What’s going on?” Kenna asked with her brow furrowed.
Jendaya walked over to the bed and jumped on it, kissing Skylar on each cheek and then patting Kenna’s leg.
With anyone else, Kenna would have found it odd how comfortable Jendaya was in Damien’s home and especially with Damien’s…
girlfriend who wasn’t his girlfriend. The thing with Jendaya was that she had been solid since day one.
She treated Kenna like an old friend and never wavered, not once.
When Kenna tried apologizing for bringing Skylar to that movie theater, both Damien and Jendaya made it clear that they didn’t blame her and that Skylar had already come clean about what really happened. Jendaya was more than Damien’s baby mama. She had quickly become Kenna’s friend.
“We’ve decided that you two need to get out of the house,” Jendaya said.
Kenna chewed on her bottom lip and looked at Damien, who stared her down intensely.
She quivered as nerves bounced around inside her.
The love she felt for him had been building over the past few weeks.
They found stolen moments for intimate conversations and cuddle sessions, but they hadn’t had sex since the shooting, nor had they been together alone for long stretches of time.
She knew before either him or Jendaya said anything what they were up to.
“Mommy—”
“No,” Jendaya cut Skylar off. “No, baby. You and me are overdue for a girl’s day.” She lifted Skylar’s hand. “You haven’t had a manicure in weeks.”
Skylar looked up at Kenna. “Will you come too?”
Kenna looked at her sadly. It wasn’t lost on her that Skylar looked at her as some kind of protector.
Kenna also understood that she needed to break that dependency early on.
She couldn’t go with Skylar everywhere, and Skylar needed to get comfortable being back in public soon so she could lead a normal life.
Being afraid of her own shadow wouldn’t do her any good.
Before Kenna could respond, Damien’s deep voice cut through what had been girl talk up until that moment. “She can’t, baby. She has a hot date tonight.” He grinned at Kenna. “That is, if you accept my invitation.”
Kenna’s heart did a somersault. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the thought of being alone with Damien or the thought of going out in public.
She hadn’t stepped foot from this house since the shooting.
Her job granted her a leave of absence after finding out what happened, and that was all she needed to insert herself into seclusion.
Kenna gave Skylar an encouraging smile, though she didn’t feel very encouraged herself, and whispered, “You will be just fine. You hear me? Plus, I’m sure security will be with you two.
They can protect you better than my lil ol’ self can.
” Kenna cracked a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Skylar nodded slowly, and Kenna’s smile brightened genuinely at her courage.
“Good. Because I have a hot date, and I would hate to miss it.”
Kenna knew putting on a brave face would be hard, but when her eyes found Damien’s again, for a split second, she felt invincible.