21. Sadie
Chapter 21
Sadie
Sloane
I’m running late
Sadie
When are you not?
Sloane
LA traffic is a nightmare
Can you get me a coffee?
Sadie
I’ve barely landed in LA
Shouldn’t you be buying me coffee?
Sloane
What are best friends for?
Sadie
Coffee and late airport pickups, apparently
I spot the light blue Prius amongst the sea of cars crammed in at Los Angeles International Airport arrivals and instantly beam. Sloane Akari is the definition of bold. She pulls up to the curb diagonally, not bothering to fix her park, as she hastily clambers out the door and bounds towards me. Within seconds, I’m engulfed by her silky, black hair and sweet, raspberry perfume as she squeezes me into a hug.
I choke from the force. “I love you, but are you trying to squeeze me to death?”
“Shut up. You like my hugs.” She pokes my shoulder, grinning as she lets go.
“I do. But I’ll never like this airport. Why’d you have to move to LA again?” I roll my suitcase to the back of her car as she presses the button for the trunk to open.
“You know why I moved here.”
“Ah, yes. For a guy,” I sing, wiggling my eyebrows teasingly as she fake gags. I had told her countless times I didn’t think it was a good idea, but she was “following her heart” and ignored me.
“Hurry up and get rich already. I want to feel less sorry about how Takis guy dumped me after I sold all my things, moved to LA and got locked into a lease. Anyway, so, how was the first city of the tour?”
I give her a wry grin as I slide my new violin case in, pausing for a moment to marvel at it and all the memories that float from Chicago, all the time I spent with Jaxon. Sloane catches my look, quirks her brow but doesn’t say anything as we wrap around the car and jump into our seats.
Sloane is the sister I never had but always wished for. She’s the type of best friend who put up with my late night violin practice in college and claimed it as her study music. Our personalities just matched. Sassy with a bite.
Sloane breaks off the curb just as a car almost sideswipes us to get the free, open pickup space. She slams on her brake and car horn and yells, “Watch where you’re going, jackass!”
“Always the rager, Sloane.”
“If you lived in LA, you’d yell at the traffic, too.” She gives me a knowing glance and I chuckle.
“So, which era are we in today?” I turn the volume knob up in the car to catch a Taylor Swift song playing. Fearless era, it seems.
“Jade wants friendship bracelets for her birthday party, so I figured I’d listen to some songs to get in the mood. I put the playlist on shuffle for a vibe. I told her you’d be playing pop songs in a concert and she’s super excited to watch now.”
I laugh. Jade is Sloane’s teen sister that her parents accidentally had years after they’d already had kids. I said, “Good for them for still getting it on.” Sloane said, “Gross,” but deep down, she truly loves her little sister, especially since her older ones don’t pay her any attention. I think that’s why we clicked in college, but in all honesty, I don’t know who needs who more, me or her.
“I’ll make sure to get you both good seats,” I say.
“Thanks.” She slumps back in her seat as we speed up onto the freeway. Without missing a beat, she asks, “So, are you gonna tell me how Chicago went or do I just guess what the shiny new thing is in my trunk?”
My cheeks blush. “Oh, that?”
“Yeah, that . I don’t remember you having a violin case like that. You’ve always complained about how expensive they are.”
“Yeah, they are…” I trail off, scrambling for purchase. “It was, uh… a gift.”
“Gift? Who gave you a gift?”
I swallow and avert my gaze. I know the moment I mention his name that there’s no way I will ever live this down.
“It was just a gift.”
“Yes, hon. You said that. Are you keeping secrets from me?”
I roll my eyes. “That’s what you instantly jump to? Me keeping secrets from you?”
It’s not that I was keeping it from her, it’s that so much happened and we hardly had any time to call while I was away. But Sloane remains unfazed. Instead, she makes circular motions with her hand, gesturing for me to continue.
I sigh. “It’s from Jaxon Tanner.” Her head whips in my direction and she stares long enough I have to shout, “Keep your eyes on the road!” as the car yells at us for leaving the lane.
“Wait, what ?” she cries. “Is this gift some sort of bribe? Is he trying to fuck you?”
“Sloane!”
“Oh, my god. Are you smiling?” Her grin widens and I feel my cheeks turn red.
“I am not.” Fuck, am I?
“That’s it. As soon as we get home, you’re telling me everything that happened in Chicago. I want every detail.” Her tone is so serious, I burst out laughing because not only is she already flipping out, but she doesn’t even know half the story—the one I’m still wrapping my head around—where after my parents had me crying after our performance, Jaxon gave me a gift, danced with me on a stage, and kissed me slowly in the dark.
A kiss that has me questioning everything I know about him.
“You’re being ridiculous.” I slide a letter S bead down the clear elastic cord of the bracelet I’m making.
“Nope. This is a thousand percent necessary,” Sloane calls from the kitchen where I hear the final pop pop of the microwave popcorn before her feet come padding over. The smell of butter wafts in the air as she places down a giant bowl between us with a glowing smile.
I glare at her. “I just don’t understand why you’d make popcorn when we’re not even watching a movie.”
“Honey, why would I need to put a movie on when I get to listen in on your life? Please. Entertain me. I have nothing fun going on.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” I say distractedly, looking for a gold bead.
She glares, then pulls out her phone from her hoodie pocket and, in three swipes and several taps later, she flips her phone to me.
“Meet Brad. He’s thirty, recently got dumped by his fiancé, and sleeps on the floor in his best friend’s spare room. He wanted to—” she flips the phone back to her face to read out their text conversation. “Take me out to dinner and?—”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“—and sneak into his old house while his ex was out so he could bend me over their bed and fuck me so hard until he forgot about her.”
“ Oh. ”
“You want a Brad?”
I grimace, tying a knot in the bracelet I just made that reads FEARLESS. “And this is why I have no faith in dating apps.”
“And this is why all my faith is in you and your life, because by the sounds of it, the universe is trying to ship you and Jaxon Tanner.”
I scoff. “That is not true.”
“Tell me you don’t find him hot and I’ll believe you.” She raises her dainty chin at me, chestnut brown eyes sparkling. I shake my head, grinning. Sloane points at my expression and giggles gleefully, black hair cascading over her shoulders. We’re in our pajamas—if oversized hoodies and socks count for pajamas—sitting on the floor with our backs leaning on the couch rather than sitting on it so we don’t break our spines bending over to the rainbow plethora of beads laid out on the coffee table. She nudges me with her knee with a knowing smile.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes, he is hot, and he likes me so much he gave me a trillion-dollar violin case .” She bats her eyelashes and leans in to grab a letter bead. I throw a piece of popcorn at her in response. “Hey! Don’t waste food or I won’t cook for you in the morning.”
I laugh. “It’s not wasted if it hits its mark.” I plop a kernel in my mouth before tying a new knot for the next bracelet I make.
“Sadie, come on.” She looks up from the beads before her with bright, eager eyes. “Tell me what happened in Chicago. Please?”
I sigh. My mind races through all the moments in the past four weeks—the flight, the hotel room, the incident, the concert, the kiss . So much was packed in such little time, I don’t even know where to begin. I slide a black bead down the line, followed by a green one. No matter how hard I try to focus on the task at hand, my mind replays the kiss over and over instead.
Soft lips against mine. Stealing each other’s breaths. Strong hands trailing down my back. Cedar wood and mint wrapping all over me.
“Look.” Sloane steals the letter D bead I had just dug out, interrupting my thoughts. “You’re on tour with him for three whole months. Something’s bound to happen.”
We share a look, and with a sigh, I confess. “We shared a room.” Sloane’s eyes widen with glee. “Actually, we shared a bed one night, too.”
“Okay, and? Did anything happen?”
She is way too excited about this. I steal the letter D back and push the box of alphabet beads for her to dig into. “No, nothing happened!”
“Sadie!”
“What? It’s not what you think. He—” I cut myself short. Jaxon’s voice from that night is loud in my head. Please don’t tell anyone. I purse my lips and stick to my word. “It was just one time. Nothing happened.”
“You’re telling me you shared a room for four weeks and you only shared the bed once ?”
“Well, the day after…” My throat swells, immediately choking on all the words as memories of Smith trying to touch me resurface. Sloane’s gaze pinches. Sh e instantly picks up on the change in my expression, but just as she’s about to speak, her phone rings.
“Shit,” she curses, her face now pinched towards her phone. “It’s my sister.”
“Which sister?”
“Addie…”
Addie the Baddie, that’s what we liked to call her because she was always stirring shit up. I wave her off, thankful that I don’t have to repeat that incident or bring up the kiss to Sloane. Sloane jumps to her feet, but only goes so far so she’s not shouting in front of me. She’s not exactly the subtle type. I can hear her loud and clear from the living room and she’s pissed.
“Addie, I don’t care! You can’t just—you should’ve asked me first—but I already told you— ugh !” Sloane stomps back into the room, ready to fling her phone through the window.
I stare up at her, mildly amused only because I know that Sloane’s older sisters drive her up the wall, but the humor is short-lived.
“Addie broke up with another boyfriend,” she announces, but it’s the way her chest heaves that has the smile die on my face.
“Okay…” I try to assure her. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Because whenever this happens, she—ugh—if Addie’s single, she stays with me. In your room. That is until she finds some other new boyfriend to be with, but basically, she’s already on her way here to move herself back in. ”
My hands freeze. The bracelet I’m making dangles between my fingertips. I almost want to laugh, because it seems all too familiar. Except this time, Jaxon isn’t here to save the day.
“Oh.”
“I’d offer you the couch but—” she looks despondently at the old gray couch with sunken cushions. The other reason we’re not sitting on the couch to make bracelets is because the couch is too uncomfortable to even sit on. And I’m not going to ruin my back and shoulders with the vigorous rehearsal schedule we have coming up. Flashes of Jaxon’s RSI pain flits to my mind and I cringe at the thought.
I smile faintly. “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.”
“Ugh, I’m so sorry,” she groans. “Addie always does this. She never gives me a proper heads up or cares if I—wait, do you have Jaxon’s phone number?” Sloane claps her hands so loudly I almost drop the half-made bracelet.
“Why do I need?—”
“Text him.”
“Who?”
“Jaxon!”
The bracelet drops from my fingers this time as I gape at her. She can’t mean…
“You said you two shared a room for four weeks already. Clearly, you didn’t bite each other’s heads off in that whole time. Maybe you can crash at his!”
My mouth opens, but it doesn’t form words as I try to grasp what she’s telling me.
“No, Sloane. That’s…” I shake my head. “That’s not happening.”
“Sadie. My sister is going to be here any minute and we both know you’re too broke to stay anywhere else. Just… text him and find out.”
“You’re just trying to get me to fuck him.”
“It wouldn’t hurt.” She smirks playfully. I glare in response. “Come on, who else do you know you could stay with?”
“You’re insane…”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. Besides, I’d love to see him in person after all these years.”
I scrunch my eyes, digging the heels of my palms in them as I groan, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” she cries.
And my control over this secret snaps. I can never keep things from my best friend for too long. “Because we kissed and it’ll be awkward!”
Sloane’s jaw drops, as do her bracelet beads, but her eyes sparkle. “Oh, honey.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t oh honey , me. You’re supposed to tell me it was wrong.”
“Why would I tell you that? Do you know how hard it is for me to keep watching you do nothing for your own happiness?”
“Sloane. Happiness has nothing to do with it. We’re professionals. We’re partners. We can’t be… together. It’ll only end badly.”
“Are you saying this because you believe it or because of what happened in the past?”
My eyes shut. Of course, she’d remember. She’s the only one who knows everything about that night six years ago.
But I’m afraid to feel the way I’m starting to with Jaxon.
Happy. Wanted. Loved.
Sloane reaches over and gently squeezes my hand. It surprises me that the gesture feels as comforting as Jaxon’s, which is why I find myself reaching into my pocket for my phone.
I pull up his contact information that I’d stored weeks ago when he first scrawled it on the white paper bag with the sugar-coated blueberry muffin.
My fingers tremble slightly, as does my voice when I ask, “What if he leaves again?”
“What if he doesn’t?” She smiles softly. And it’s enough for me to begin typing. I shoot him a text.
Sadie
Hey, Tanner?
Tanner
Yes, Sass?
He replies instantly. And I can’t help the smile on my lips because as scary as it is to admit, I’m happy he responded.