Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Sandy plops down on the couch next to me while Stella naps. “Wow, this is stunning! Is this how it’s going to look?”
“This will be the barbecue area and the fire pit.” I show her the photo before scrolling to the next one. “And this will be the pool area.”
“Once it’s done, I’m never leaving this place.”
“You barely ever do.” She hits me with a pillow when I smirk at her.
I love that she’s here all the time. It was one reason we moved to this small coastal town, away from the city. I also know being a mom of a newborn can be lonely, so I love being her excuse to get out of the house.
“How are Ash and Liv holding up?” Her legs take up most of the couch, so I prop my feet up on the coffee table.
“Surprisingly well. Ash loves it, because it’s new, which I expected.
But I think Liv found a friend she really likes.
She mentioned her a few times and almost got embarrassed afterward.
” Liv’s interests are unique, and she’s anything but your average ten-year-old girl.
In her old school, she had a hard time fitting in .
“Mentioned her a few times?” Sandy gasps. “That’s practically a love declaration coming from Liv.”
“Yup. I plan to reach out to the girl’s parents and see if they can hang out here. She’s happy with her new room, so I think she’d love to show it off.”
“Look at you, killing this single mom thing.” She bumps my shoulder.
I can’t help my chest filling with air. Knowing that my kids are happy, even though the circumstances are less than ideal. That’s all I could want.
“I want to hang out with them more,” she adds.
“We should do a kid swap. I’ll take care of Stella, and you can take them to the movies or something,” I suggest.
“Yes! We’ll make it happen.” She claps her hands. “When we’re on the topic of making it happen, hope you haven’t forgotten my marvelous idea from the other day.”
“Ugh,” I groan, though a part of me can’t wait to hear what she came up with.
She reaches into the diaper bag, pulling out that same sheet of paper and a pen.
“I really don’t know how you planned this to work.”
“It’s simple. We’ll find you dates that fit these tropes until you find the one .” She looks at me like I’m the crazy one.
I chuckle because the whole idea sounds … lunatic.
And fun.
“Now let’s see what we have here.” She clicks the pen on her chin before tracing it on the paper. “Seems doable.” With how she angled the paper, I can’t read anything on it.
“Give me that.” I grab the paper from her hand and skim the tropes.
“Second chance?” No fucking way.
Sandy chuckles. “Fine, we’ll cross that off.”
“Morally gray MMC? You realize this is real life?” I take her pen and cross off a few items. “No stalkers, no kidnappers, and definitely no serial killers.”
She’s laughing out loud now. “Fine, but I won’t let you cross off mafia. It’s a favorite of mine.”
“You know I love a good mafia romance, but how do you expect this to work? Should I set my Hinge bio to ‘looking for made men’?”
“Don’t be so literal, sis. We don’t have to go out looking for each of these men. Some might be a lucky coincidence.” She shrugs, her eyes gleaming. “For example, small town romance. You live in a small town now. Some romance is bound to happen.”
I ignore her optimism and continue, “Unrequited love? Been there, done that.” I cross off another item. “Accidental pregnancy? No, thank you,” I scoff. “Reverse harem? I don’t think so.”
“Your loss.” She shrugs.
“Come on, Dee. My own husband couldn’t love me. You honestly believe that I could make multiple men fall madly in love with me?” It was supposed to be a joke, but the truth of it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
The corners of Sandy’s eyes drop slightly before she rolls an arm around my shoulder. “You’re in denial, Sadie baby. You don’t see how incredible you are. But let’s leave this to me. I’ll handle it. Just be open to the experience.”
“You have a newborn baby, Dee. You’re not responsible for my dating life. Matter of fact, I’m paying for your maternity leave.”
“Well, it turns out Stella is an A-plus baby and her mommy is used to juggling a million different things. And maybe she would prefer to be useful, rather than be just a mom, even though she loves it.” My breath hitches, her words surprising me. “Let me do this. For both of us.”
“Ok.” I kiss the top of her head.
“Ok? Really?” Her ears perk up, like a dog who hears the word ‘treat.’
“Yes, really.” My lips turn up into a smile.
Tiny twigs crunch and snap beneath our feet as we take another step on the nature trail just outside the town. We weren’t used to it in the city, but here, the nature is breathtaking. Since it was a lovely sunny Saturday, I decided we should make an effort to try new things.
Asher was thrilled with the possibility of seeing a snake—I really hope he doesn’t get his wish—and Olivia shrugged her shoulders, which for her is the equivalent of jumping up and down with excitement.
“Liv, I was thinking. Maybe I can get Kayla’s mom’s number, and she can come to our house one of these days.”
She shrugs again. Yes ! “She lives with her dad; I don’t know where her mom is.”
“Oh, her dad’s number, then.”
“Sure.” Is that a hint of happiness I detect in her voice?
“What do you guys think of the forest?”
“There are no snakes,” Asher notices with mild disappointment, but by the way he’s skipping through the trail, my guess is he likes it.
“It’s fine, I guess,” Liv responds. “I would prefer to see some snakes, too,” she adds with a smirk.
“Of course you would.” I playfully tussle her hair, which she love-hates.
An hour later, I’m a sweaty mess, finally seeing our car.
But Asher also spots an ice cream shop on the other side. “Please, Mom! Can we have some ice cream?”
Even Olivia shoots me a hopeful look, tipping the scales in their favor.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Ocean’s Harbor is mostly a tourist town, coming alive in the warmer months. Though the tourist season isn’t in full swing yet, there is a good amount of hustle and bustle on the streets. Sweet little shops adorn the main street, not a franchise in sight.
This place is truly beautiful. Asher gets to the ice cream shop first, and the door chimes, announcing our arrival. Colorful pastels cover the walls, the counters lined with jars of sprinkles, candies, and sauces. Asher glues himself to the glass display, hungrily eyeing rows of ice cream flavors.
“Hi. How can I help you?” A cute guy roughly my age asks us with a bright smile.
Next to him stands a black-haired girl, looking bored out of her mind.
“Kayla!” Olivia exclaims in a tone I haven’t heard since she was a toddler.
The black-haired girl looks up, her face transforming into a grin. “Liv.”
“What are you doing here?”
“This is my dad’s shop,” Kayla responds, side-eyeing her dad.
“You must be the girl my daughter hasn’t stopped talking about,” the dad says. “How about I give you some ice cream and you can both sit down and chat for a bit?” His gaze lands on the booths, and Liv nods excitedly.
One tropical blast and two cookie crumble ice creams later, the kids slump into the booth.
“Sadie Summers,” I say, reaching my hand out. His hair is honey-colored, and so is his neatly trimmed beard. His warm brown eyes are boring into me with something like interest in them, despite my current, definitely unappealing, looks.
“Will Carter.” His hand is big and warm, his handshake the perfect amount of pressure.
“This was a lucky coincidence.”
“It’s a small town. They were bound to run into each other.”
“Well, I was just talking to Liv about asking Kayla to come play at our house.” The ice cream is slowly melting in my hands, but it feels comical to lick it right here in front of this guy I find attractive.
“She’d love that. Maybe we should exchange numbers so we could make that happen.” His tone is hopeful, but he doesn’t sound creepy.
“Sure. ”
I recite my number, he gives me a quick call, and I save his contact. My hand is a sticky mess by the time we’re done, so I rush to finish the rest of my peanut butter swirl. He’s cute and nice, and it might have been for the sake of our kids, but it felt good to give someone my number.
A wave of hopelessness washes over me, drowning the thrill. How pathetic am I? Getting my hopes up after an innocent three-minute conversation. Am I so desperate for attention that even a crumb of it made my day? By the time we get home, my shoulders drop, and my eyes are watery.
I do my best to keep Asher and Olivia from noticing, though they’re probably already used to it.
Scalding hot water pours over me as I take a shower to wash off the sweat from the nature walk and pull myself together.
The divorce has been a rollercoaster. My poor little heart swells with joy and hope of a new beginning, only to be crushed by the deadly weight of my sadness a few seconds later.
It’s not missing David. Not really. But it hates the fact I let myself be invisible for so long. The fact he was able to not see me for so long. The fact he didn’t even want to see me.
Now, being seen is a temporary comfort, followed by the crippling fear of blending into the background again.
Sandy would have a field day with this. She would list a hundred reasons why what I’m feeling is bullshit, but I don’t think it is.
David knew me better than anyone (another thing Sandy would object to). He was by my side when my mom died while I was pregnant with Liv. He watched me birth two of his children. He was there, supporting me when I started my author journey. And I still became invisible to him.
The bathroom fills with fog, and my skin turns red before I shut the water off. The burn grounds me, helps me gather my thoughts as I put some clothes on and exit the bathroom.
One look at Asher and Olivia laughing on the couch is enough to make my heart swell again.
It’s fine. We’re going to be fine. I’m going to be fine.
Right?