Chapter 28
Clover
King Lix’tuk is kissing me.
For a moment, that’s all I understand. Not the speech. Not the broadcast. Not the red light blinking in front of me or the fact that half the world may have just heard my voice.
His lips are firm and as rough as he is. He rarely shows any gentleness where anyone can see it, and this could be the closest he comes to it. He’s touched me in ways that made me forget how to breathe. This is the first time he’s touched me like he genuinely cares about me.
I melt into his embrace, his enormous arms holding me against him while he kisses me like he can’t get enough. Our tongues intertwine and his wraps around mine possessively, claiming me without a word. I groan into his mouth, lips brushing against his tusks as he continues to kiss me.
When he finally pulls away, we’re both breathless.
“You kissed me,” I whisper, dazed.
“And I’m going to kiss you again,” he growls, his hand squeezing my ass. “But first, I need to meet with the war council and see how your speech was received.”
“Can I come with you?” I ask.
“No, go wait in my… our bedchamber,” he orders, walking to the door. “I’ll be there shortly.”
He walks out of the room and I mouth, “Our bedchamber.”
That hits me almost as hard as the kiss. It’s no longer just his bedchamber. I’m no longer an unwanted guest. My place is… beside him. Maybe that’s been my place longer than I realized, and I’m the one who is just figuring that out.
I step out of the room and while I’d like to go straight to our bedchamber, I’ve sweated so much I’m in desperate need of a shower. I should have time, considering how these war council meetings go. But I’ll wait as long as it takes, if it means he’s going to kiss me like that again.
Once I’m in the shower, I start reflecting on my speech. I was scared I would get in front of the camera and forget everything or stumble over my words. Somehow, I managed to find strength I didn’t know I had. I just hope it was enough.
After my shower, I walk into the room where my clothes are kept and find a nightgown that shows a lot of skin. There was a time I would have picked the most modest gown and hoped he didn’t notice me. Tonight, I want him to notice everything. I don’t even feel uncomfortable when I put it on.
When I get to our bedchamber, I lie on the bed.
Directly in the middle, doing my best to look alluring.
Attractive. Kissable. Maybe even irresistible.
Truthfully, I don’t know how to be any of those things.
I move around the bed. Change my position.
Try to figure out where my hands should go.
After almost an hour, I start feeling a little ridiculous.
I don’t think alluring women rearrange themselves every three minutes.
I’m still moving around when the door slides open, so I throw myself on my side, supporting myself on my elbow. Just one of many positions I abandoned along the way.
King Lix’tuk walks in and raises an eyebrow when he sees me. Not the reaction I was hoping for. He begins removing his armor, so I roll over on my stomach.
“You’re quiet,” I say nervously. “I hope that doesn’t mean the speech was received badly.”
“So far, everything we’ve seen has been positive. We’ll know more tomorrow,” he answers, hanging his armor on the rack. “I’m quiet because I’m questioning a few things.”
“About letting me talk to everyone?” I ask, feeling a twinge in my stomach.
“No,” he says, turning to face me. “About kissing you.”
“Are you regretting it?” I ask apprehensively.
“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I thought I would regret it,” his voice is husky as he walks closer to the bed. “I’m regretting not doing it sooner.”
I don’t have to worry about being alluring. King Lix’tuk reaches down, slaps my ass, and pulls me into his arms on the bed. His lips immediately find mine and he holds me in a tight embrace while he kisses me.
The kiss lights a fire inside me, especially once I’m pressed against his thick muscles and hard cock. We sink to the mattress, our lips still seared together. My hands move across his chest and along his ribs. His hands slide over my legs and move higher, every inch of skin he touches sizzling.
I’ve never wanted him more. I know why we can’t go further than we have, and I’ve come to terms with that, but it feels like our relationship has changed now.
I’m not a pet or a slave or a decoration at the foot of his bed.
He’s holding me the way I always imagined men held women they loved.
Kissing me that way, too. When our lips finally part, I’m breathless in the best possible way.
“I know we can’t, but I really want to,” I groan, grinding against him.
“I want you so fucking bad, Clover,” he sighs, kissing my cheek. “It’s just too risky. If something happened to you, I would never be able to live with myself.”
“Medical technology has to be better now than it was back then,” I whimper. “And even if it isn’t, there’s contraceptives. Birth control.”
“None have ever been effective for orcs,” he tells me. “Our instincts are too strong, our seed to powerful, and nature still finds a way.”
“What about surgery?” I ask. “I could… I mean, there are ways of making me infertile.”
His gaze darkens and he shakes his head. “I will not mutilate you just so I can fuck you.”
“It’s not mutilation, it’s just a medical procedure,” I say, swallowing hard. “I’ve heard that some women in Concord City get it done after their first child… for obvious reasons.”
“No, Clover. If your speech has the kind of impact I hope, then you will regret it,” he warns.
“Why would I regret it?” I ask.
“If things change in Concord City, I’m not going to force you to stay here with me any longer,” he says somberly. “You’ll have the choice to go back to your family. Where you should have been allowed to stay in the first place.”
I feel a twinge in my stomach. He’s freeing me?
I can see my family again. I might be able to find out what happened to Rose.
When I first arrived, going home was the only impossible dream I still let myself have.
Now he’s handing it to me, and all I can think about is how lonely I will be in my bed without him in it.
It feels wrong. My place isn’t with them anymore. My place is here. Thinking about leaving makes me tear up, and I have to look away.
“Is that why you finally kissed me?” I whisper. “It’s basically goodbye?”
“No, I kissed you…” He lets out a long exhale.
“I kissed you because I have feelings for you, Clover. Feelings I’ve tried to fight, because they go against everything I stand for.
Or what I used to stand for. Now, I’m… not even sure what I stand for anymore.
But that’s not your problem. I can’t right every wrong in the world, but I’m going to right this one. ”
I blink away my tears and look back at him. I’m not sure if I’m showing strength or weakness, but I feel more vulnerable than ever.
“What if that isn’t what I want?”
“Why wouldn’t it be what you want? You were brought here against your will. I’ve treated you… I’ve treated you horribly, Clover,” he growls. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. That’s got your head all messed up.”
“My head has been messed up for a while,” I admit. “You’re not the only one who has feelings.”
“Don’t say that,” he warns.
“I’m not allowed to lie to you, remember? I get spanked if I lie,” I allow a half smile. Taking a deep breath, I look away for a moment before meeting his gaze. “So, here’s the truth, King Lix’tuk… I love you.”
“Clover,” he sighs, shaking his head.
“If you think I’m lying, put me over your knee,” I say. “Get the belt and punish me.”
“I’m not going to do that,” his voice is deep and his eyes are serious.
“Because you know it’s true,” I throw the words down like a gauntlet glove.
“Fuck,” he mutters, conflict in his dark gaze. “Why can’t you just let me do the right thing for a change?”
“Because sending away someone you love isn’t the right thing. It’s just another way for you to punish yourself, like you’ve been doing for two hundred years,” I state with conviction, staring into his eyes. “And deep down, I think you know that.”
“I said I have feelings for you. I didn’t say I love you,” he admonishes, but his expression softens. His jaw tightens. His gaze drops to my mouth like the truth is sitting there, waiting to bite him. “Fine. Maybe I do.”
He kisses me again, pulling me closer. But it isn’t just his lips that take my breath away. It’s what he said. What he admitted. He feels the same way about me as I do about him.
I won’t let him send me away. I’ve found my place and I refuse to give it up without a fight.
I just wish we could go further. I want him so badly.
I know it’s foolish—practically impossible, based on what he’s told me—but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it, nor does it stop the fire from spreading through my core, aching for what my body needs. What I need. Him.
I press closer, wrapping my arms around his neck as much as I can.
He’s too big for me to hold properly, but I try anyway, fingers sinking into the thick black hair that falls around him like a majestic mane.
His mouth moves over mine with more hunger, more desperation, and I feel the shift in him.
Feel the moment restraint starts cracking against the weight of what we both want.
He groans against my lips and the sound travels straight through me, sending another shudder through my core that makes me grind against him.
“Clover,” he rasps my name like a warning.
“I know,” I whisper, feeling his hard flesh pressed to my body, my panties getting wetter as I shamelessly rub against his cock.
His hands slide down my back and settle on my hips.
He grips me there, hard enough to remind me that he could stop me if he wanted to, but he doesn’t.
He lets me continue to grind against him, the ridges on the head of his big, thick cock throbbing.
Every time I feel it, my pussy clenches with disappointment.