28. Hayden
28
HAYDEN
A nother day has come and almost gone, again. I simply cannot bear much more of this never-ending waiting, this unshakeable longing for Cagan to return home to us. The little ripple of doubt and anxiousness I felt inside of me when he left has now grown into a raging sea of endless worry and hopelessness.
I pace the length of our small home, my steps echoing off the barren walls. How many more sunsets must I watch alone, staring endlessly at the horizon for any sign of his hulking form lumbering towards home? He said he would only be gone for a very short time, yet many days have already passed since his departure.
I know Cagan has always put his family and people first and I always understood his sense of duty. But now he's been gone longer than either of us expected. What if something happened to detain him against his will? What if he doesn't come home at all? My chest starts to tighten as my mind races uncontrollably with these horrible thoughts.
Or worse yet, what if he simply doesn't want to be a father and this lengthy absence is his way out? No, I shake my head against that notion. He was overjoyed when he discovered he was a father. I still remember the sparkle in his golden eyes when he first held Amira in his arms. He would never abandon us.
Yet, my paranoia continues to fester as the hours drag on. What if he never returns and I am left alone to raise Amira without him? What if some ill fate has befallen him out there in the wilderness? I shake my head sharply once more, banishing those dark thoughts. I cannot travel down that bleak path right now. I must keep faith that he will come back to us. To consider anything else would break me entirely.
The sun finally sinks below the horizon, vanishing from sight. I am beyond distraught as I stare out the window into the empty darkness – still no sign of Cagan. He was meant to be home yesterday! As night slowly descends, enveloping our home in shadow, the knot in my stomach twists even tighter.
With each minute that passes, my hope diminishes. Where is he? Why has he not returned? Ominous possibilities creep into my thoughts, like tendrils of smoke seeping through a cracked window. I try to push them away, to keep faith, but it grows harder as the blackness of night closes in.
Cagan, please come back to me , I plead silently, blinking back tears. I do not know how much longer I can endure this agonizing wait.
Just as hopelessness threatens to swallow me whole, the wooden door suddenly swings open. I gasp as Cagan's massive frame fills the entryway. He's home! In an instant, I am in his arms.
"You're back, you're finally back! Welcome home!" I gasp excitedly, burying my face into his chest. I start sobbing uncontrollably as relief floods my entire being.
Cagan strokes my hair tenderly. "I know I worried you, my love. The journey took longer than expected. But I am here now."
I cling to him, afraid if I let go, he might disappear again. "I thought...I thought something dreadful had happened. When you didn't return on time..."
Cagan cups my face in his hands, staring intently into my eyes. "Hayden, nothing could ever keep me from you and Amira. No matter the obstacles or distances between us, I will always find my way back to you. You are my heart, my guiding light. And our daughter is the most precious gift I could dream of."
He pauses, his golden eyes boring intensely into mine.
"I told my father and sister outright that you and Amira will always come first for me. Our little family is my priority now."
His voice rings with such conviction and I feel the truth of his words resonating to my core. My lingering doubts and fears seem to melt away under his ardent gaze. We are his home now - nothing will keep him from us.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. "Come now, you must be famished," I say, taking his hand and leading him to the table.
As we eat, he recounts his travels to visit his family and ensure their safety.
Between mouthfuls of stew, he continues, "I know my place is here with you and Amira now. But I owed it to my family to ensure their safety after everything we endured."
I nod, understanding his sense of duty. Cagan has always put his family first. It's one of the qualities that drew me to him, despite my wariness of his kind.
Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Cagan goes on, "I told my father he could come meet his granddaughter.” He searches my face. “But only if you are comfortable with it, my love."
My eyebrows raise in surprise and uncertainty. "He...wants to meet Amira?” I hesitate. “But your father..."
"He is still set in the old ways at times, I know." Cagan sighs. "Yet even he cannot ignore an innocent new life, blood of his blood."
I bite my lip, conflicted. The thought of Cagan's stern father holding our delicate Amira unsettles me. And yet, I know family means so much to Cagan.
Sensing my tension, Cagan gently adds, "My father and sister will arrive in one week's time, if you'll permit it."
"One week? Why so fast?" I cannot mask the anxiousness in my voice.
Cagan's brows furrow as he chooses his next words carefully. "When I spoke to my father about you and Amira, he said I must not waste any more time. That I should make things right between us immediately."
Make things right? My pulse quickens as I ponder his cryptic meaning. "What...what did he mean by that?"
Taking both my hands in his, Cagan meets my eyes. He slowly sinks down onto one knee before me, still clasping my hands. Sudden understanding rushes through me even before he begins to speak the words.
"My radiant Hayden," he begins, his voice rumbling with emotion, "from the very first moment I stumbled upon you in the woods, I knew in my soul that you were destined to be mine. In you, I found my missing piece. And now, we have built a warm, loving home and family together."
Cagan presses a tender kiss to my knuckles, his tusk lightly brushing my skin. The sensation sends a shiver up my spine.
"I should have done this long ago, the moment I realized I could not live without you.” He meets my wide-eyed gaze unwaveringly. “Will you make me the happiest orc in all the land and agree to officially be my mate?"
Joy surges hotly within me, momentarily stealing my voice. I had never dared to let myself hope that Cagan would ask for such a formal mating bond between us. It was more than I ever dreamed was possible.
Swallowing the lump building in my throat, I finally find my words. "Cagan, my heart and soul belong to you. I will gladly be your mate now until my final breath."
With a joyful rumble in his chest, Cagan sweeps me into his arms and claims my lips in a fierce, passionate kiss. Happiness washes over me in waves as we seal our commitment to one another.
As we slowly part lips, I smooth my hand over his cheek, looking deep into his penetrating golden eyes. "It was a little sudden, but also perfect. I am ready to stand beside you as your mate, now and always."
A flutter of anxiety still runs through me at the thought of meeting his family, but I feel a sense of peace now knowing that Cagan will be faithfully at my side forevermore. I nestle into the solid bulk of his chest. Cagan's muscular arms envelop me in their strength and warmth. At this moment, I feel so deeply loved and safe.
We have endured so much hardship together already - pain, loss, uncertainty. But we persevered through the darkest nights, finding solace and hope in each other's arms. Our bond grew from the ashes, forged by adversity into something unbreakable.
Where there was once only scarcity and sorrow in my heart, now there is an abundance of hope, fulfillment, and light. Cagan has walked this winding path with me, transforming my life in ways I never dreamed possible. With him by my side, I know I can weather any storm that lies ahead. As long as we have each other, the future shines bright for our family.
Still enveloped in the warmth of each other's arms, I gently rest my head on his broad, sturdy chest. As I listen to the powerful, steady beat of his heart, I know that I am exactly where I belong.