Chapter 31
CHAPTER 31
G raal hunched his shoulders as his heavy boots crunched in the snow. He didn’t know where he was headed. Graal just had to get away from the bakery and Cas and the incubus Cas loved.
At some point, he’d need to find an inn where he’d stay the night. Then he could set out for the mining village tomorrow.
The image of Cas kissing the attractive incubus stayed frozen in place in his mind. Even with his horns, wings, and tail, Xavier did not look monstrous at all. Not even a little bit. He was exactly the sort of being Graal could picture with Cas. Graal couldn’t even begin to compete with someone like that.
And Cas loved the incubus. He’d said so at the Christmas markets. Cas said he’d hoped Xavier would come back, tell Cas he’d made a mistake, and ask Cas back. Seemed like he’d done that. It had just taken the incubus a few weeks.
Graal’s throat tightened. Perhaps Cas could still ask Xavier to bond. And just in time for Christmas too. That would be perfect for Cas the Christmas pixie. He’d be so happy.
Graal closed his eyes as pain lanced through him.
And Graal would be alone for Christmas. Like every Christmas before.
He’d need to write a letter to Cas, telling Cas where he’d gone. He could do that from the inn. He sighed, guilt eating him. He’d behaved terribly not even saying goodbye and thanking Cas after everything. But he just couldn’t face him. Not now. So a letter would have to do.
Cas might not even care. He might be too absorbed with being in love and being blissfully happy to care that Graal had left without a word. Maybe Graal was even making it easier for Cas. Now Cas didn’t have to deal with ending things awkwardly with Graal or any uncomfortableness that might arise from Graal meeting Xavier.
Graal continued to drag his feet through the snow.
“Graal!” an angry voice yelled.
Graal turned and frowned. “Cas? What are you doing here?” He glanced around, but he could see no sight of the handsome incubus Cas had been with minutes before.
Cas hovered in front of him, eyes narrowed, wings fluttering rapidly. “I came to find you!”
“How did you find me?” Graal asked.
Cas gestured to the ground with an angry jerk of his arm. “I followed your footprints.” His aura took on a red tinge. “What the fuck are you playing at, Graal? Jack said you were going to the mining village. That you were leaving and not going to say anything to me.”
Cas paused, breathing heavily, staring at Graal with so much hurt in his pale-blue gaze that Graal had to drop his own. “How could you leave me without even saying goodbye? Do I mean that little to you?”
“I’m sorry.” Graal stared at Cas’s legs hovering above the snow. “I saw you with Xavier. I saw you kissing.” Graal took in a lungful of freezing air. “I know you still love him.” The words were like bile burning his throat.
“And now you have everything you want.” Graal gave a painful smile. “I couldn’t stick around. I couldn’t bear to see you with him. Not when I—” Graal cut off.
Slowly, Cas lowered to the ground. His wings stopped flapping. His red aura returned to the normal pale glow. The anger and pain left his face, replaced by a pensive expression. “Finish the sentence, Graal. When you what?”
Graal shook his head. He shouldn’t have to say it. He shouldn’t have to say that he loved Cas. Not when Cas loved Xavier.
Cas stepped close. He reached out and cupped Graal’s jaw, stroking his cheek, forcing Graal to lock eyes with him. “Graal, why can’t you see me with him?”
Even if there was no hope for him and Cas, even if it wouldn’t change anything, Graal could do nothing but answer truthfully. If Cas asked him a question, Graal would answer. “Because I love you, Cas. And I know you don’t feel the same way, but?—”
Pixie dust burst in the air, and Cas’s lips crashed into his, cutting off Graal’s words. And despite his small stature, the force of his petite body launching at Graal’s caused Graal to step back.
“Why are you kissing me?” Graal asked, breaking the kiss.
“Because I love you too.” Cas laughed, a joyful lilting noise. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to work it out. I was in denial and still so confused and thrown off after everything with Xavier. But this isn’t a fling for me. It hasn’t been for a while. I love you, Graal, with all my heart.”
“No.” Graal shook his head. “That’s not possible. No. Are you sure?”
“Graal!” Cas beamed. “Yes, I’m sure. I love you. ”
“But what about the incubus?”
“Xavi.” Cas made a face. “The arsehole came to the bakery. He told me he made a mistake, that he still loves me, and that he wanted me back.”
“And you didn’t want that?” Graal didn’t understand. “You don’t want him back?”
Cas gave him a lopsided smile. “A few weeks ago, I would have. But today, when he told me he’d made a mistake and when he kissed me. It all just felt wrong. Everything about him was wrong. All I wanted was to be kissing you. I love you, Graal. You. So I pushed him away and told him to fuck off!” Cas laughed.
But then the laughter seemed to drain away from Cas’s face. Cas dropped his gaze. “Honestly, he treated me badly when we were together. I didn’t tell you this, I didn’t tell anyone this, but he cheated on me. I walked in on him fucking someone else.” Cas gave a harsh laugh. “Then he broke up with me and acted like everything was my fault.” He frowned. “And somehow I believed him.”
Graal growled low in his throat. “You deserve better.”
The sadness disappeared from Cas’s face, and he smiled at Graal. “Being with you made me realise that. You treat me so well. I feel safe with you. And you make me feel like I’m always enough. You make me feel loved.”
“That’s because I love you,” Graal said, matter of fact.
“And I love you.” More pixie dust glittered around them. “And you know what else is wonderful?”
“What?” Graal could not imagine anything better than the knowledge that Cas loved him. Which he still struggled to believe.
“We’re mates!”
Graal blinked at him. “Mates?”
Cas nodded. “Briar told me. I was in a rush to find you, so I didn’t really listen, but he read that an orc’s scent and semen are an aphrodisiac to their mate. Did you know that?”
Graal shook his head. “No. But I wasn’t raised by orcs.” He paused, brows furrowing. “I have been told that an orc’s scent attracts mates. But I just thought they meant mates as in someone to fuck. Not like an actual mate or anything like that.” Graal needed to ask Briar more questions. And perhaps Graal should read up on orcs too.
“Well, yours is an aphrodisiac for me. So that makes us mates.” Cas laughed. “And that’s so weird, Graal. Why would semen tell you who your mate is?” Cas shook his head. “But I don’t care, because it means we’re mates! You and me.”
Graal couldn’t speak. He couldn’t fathom that Cas wanted and loved him, and on top of that, they were mates too. So Graal wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed him, never wanting to let his pixie, his lover, his mate go.