Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
J ana’s pulse quickened as she stared at the huge bed dominating the room. The mattress looked far more inviting than their makeshift sleeping arrangements in the forest, piled high with blankets and pillows. But something about having actual walls around them made the prospect of sharing it feel different - more deliberate.
“I’ll take the floor.” Lothar’s deep voice broke through her thoughts. He shifted his weight, not quite meeting her eyes. “There are enough blankets to make it comfortable.”
“No.” The word came out before she could second-guess herself. “We’ve been sleeping next to each other all week anyway. And it would look strange if anyone found you on the floor, given that we’re supposed to be…”
She couldn’t quite finish the sentence. His eyes darkened and he took a half-step toward her, then stopped.
“Are you certain?”
Her heart was thudding against her ribs so loudly she wondered if he could hear it. The bed seemed both massive and tiny all at once. Her stomach twisted in a mix of anticipation and nerves.
“I’m sure,” she said, and was surprised at how steady her voice sounded. “I trust you.”
His sharp intake of breath made her heart skip. She watched as he carefully removed his boots and embroidered vest, leaving him in just his pants and thin linen shirt. The play of muscles beneath the fabric reminded her of his strength, but she wasn’t afraid. Instead there was a flutter of anticipation low in her belly.
“I… I’ll get ready for bed,” she said, and slipped into the adjoining bathroom, her hands trembling slightly as she closed the heavy wooden door behind her.
The space was simple but functional, with a stone basin set on a long counter and a wooden toilet with an overhead tank. There was even a type of shower over a sunken area with a drain in the middle. The plumbing might be a little different, but the amenities were remarkably similar to what she’d left behind.
Her reflection in the polished metal mirror was almost unrecognizable. She looked so different - her eyes shining and cheeks flushed. Happy rather than haunted. This new world suited her.
Because of Lothar.
She washed her face and brushed her teeth using an odd wooden toothbrush, then caught a glimpse of a nightgown hung from a hook behind the door, another instance of Jessamin’s thoughtfulness. The nightgown was clearly meant for a bride - all delicate lace and flowing silk in pure white. Butterflies danced in her stomach at the thought of wearing something so revealing but she stripped off her dress and reached for it.
As she did, she caught a glimpse of the scars marring her wrists, long-healed and barely visible but still a painful reminder of her past. She’d fought so hard to heal, to build a life for herself.
I won’t let it break me again.
She took a deep breath and pulled the nightgown over her head, the delicate fabric whispering over her skin, and took another quick look in the mirror. The gown transformed her into someone who belonged in this world of arranged marriages and ancient magic. Transformed her into a bride.
Before her nerves could take hold, she turned and pushed open the door.
Lothar stood at the window, his broad shoulders rigid beneath his shirt, his hands clasped behind his back. At the sound of her footsteps, he turned sharply.
His eyes locked onto her and darkened, the green irises swallowed by inky blackness. The transformation sent a shiver down her spine - not of fear, but something far more primal. Her breath caught as he prowled a step closer.
“You grow more beautiful every time I look at you, my valai,” he said, his voice rough and deep.
His expression was hungry, but the heat in his gaze wasn’t the predatory stare of a stalking animal - it was the desire of a male who wanted his mate. The air between them crackled with tension as he took another step forward, and her skin tingled with anticipation.
But then he stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.
“I should… I need to bathe as well.”
He strode past her quickly, disappearing into the bathroom. The door closed with a decisive click, leaving her standing alone in the middle of the room, her pulse still racing.
She heard water flowing in the bathroom and her mind immediately wandered into dangerous territory. Heat rose to her cheeks as she imagined water cascading down his muscled chest, over the ridges of his abdomen to…
Her imagination failed her at that point but she still had to press her palms to her burning cheeks.
She cast a nervous glance at the bed, but ended up pacing the room instead, her bare feet silent on the wooden floor. The delicate fabric of the nightgown whispered against her skin with each step, reminding her of how exposed she felt. The soft mattress beckoned, but she couldn’t settle. She paced the length of the room, her bare feet silent on the wooden floor. The delicate fabric of the nightgown whispered against her skin with each step, reminding her of how exposed she felt.
After three circuits of the room, she forced herself to stop. This was ridiculous - they’d shared sleeping space before, even if this did feel more intimate.
She turned off all the lights except the oil lamp on the bedside table. It cast a warm, golden glow across the room, softening the shadows as she climbed onto the bed.
Too nervous to lie down, she settled against the pillows, drawing her knees up to her chest. The sound of running water stopped, and her heart skipped a beat. Time slowed to a crawl as she waited. Each small noise from the bathroom made her jump slightly - the clink of a cup being set down, the rustle of fabric. She caught herself holding her breath and forced herself to exhale slowly.
She’d never felt this combination of nervousness and anticipation before. Part of her wanted to flee, but a stronger part wanted to stay exactly where she was and see what happened next.
The bathroom door finally opened and her breath caught in her throat. He emerged wearing only loose sleeping pants, his deep green skin still damp from the shower. A few last droplets of water traced paths down his muscled chest, catching the lamplight. Her mouth went dry as she watched him move across the room with his natural predatory grace.
He ran a hand through his damp hair, now loose and flowing down his back, as he studied her face.
“I can make a bed on the floor,” he offered again.
Her heart hammered against her ribs, but she held out her hand.
“No. I…” She swallowed hard. “I feel safer when you’re close.”
He hesitated a moment longer, not touching her outstretched hand, giving her time to change her mind.
Another drop of water trailed down his chest and she found herself following its path to where it disappeared beneath the waistband of his pants. The unmistakable ridge of his erection flexed beneath the thin fabric and heat flooded her cheeks as she realized she was staring at him.
His fingers caught her chin, lifting her eyes to his.
“Are you sure? I will never do anything you do not want me to do, but you should know I want more. I want you, my little valai.”
More heat flooded her body, but it wasn’t the kind of panic she expected. Instead there was an answering spark inside her. She wanted more too, but she wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.
She managed a shaky nod, and he slowly lowered himself to perch on the edge of the bed. Even sitting, his massive body dwarfed her, and the lamplight highlighted his powerful muscles. She should be afraid of his strength, but she knew to the depths of her soul that he would never hurt her.
Her fingers trembled as she reached out, placing her palm against his warm skin. The contact sent tingles up her arm. His muscles tensed beneath her touch, but he remained perfectly still, as if afraid any movement might startle her.
“Would you… I’d like to kiss you again.”
Her voice came out barely above a whisper, and his eyes darkened again, turning from green to black. The intensity in his gaze made her stomach flip and her hand slid up to his shoulder, feeling the coiled strength beneath his skin. Despite his size and power, she wasn’t afraid. Not of him. Never of him.
“Are you certain?” His voice was low and rough.
Instead of answering, she shifted closer, the silk of her nightgown whispering against the sheets. Her other hand came up to trace the line of his jaw, fingers brushing against his tusks with careful curiosity.
Her fingers curled around the back of his neck and she rose up on her knees, bringing her face level with his. Her heart was hammering against her ribs, but she could still feel his restraint despite his obvious desire. He wouldn’t do anything until he was certain it was what she wanted.
He remained perfectly still, waiting.
She brushed her lips against his and the gentle contact sent sparks along her skin. Her lips parted, deepening the kiss, and he made a small, tortured sound before his arms wrapped around her, gently pulling her closer. Her skin felt too hot, and she wanted more. She pressed against him, seeking more contact, and the feel of his muscled chest against her was enough to send tingles dancing along her skin.
The kiss deepened, his lips claiming hers. One hand tangled in her hair, and the other slid down to cup her ass. She shifted onto his lap and the position made her suddenly aware of his erection. His enormous erection. Her momentary flash of panic was gone almost as quickly as it arose but he noticed and pulled back.
“Are you sure about this?” His voice sounded harsh, strained with the effort of maintaining control. “My Beast… he wants you. I don’t want to frighten you.”
“You don’t frighten me,” she said honestly. “Not in any way.”
“I’m glad.” His grip tightened possessively. “Because he’s never going to let you go.”
She froze, his words hitting a nerve. The last man who claimed her wouldn’t let her go. The one she’d married. She hadn’t chosen him, hadn’t wanted him.
“Stop,” he whispered, his hands moving up her back, tracing gentle circles against her skin. “I can see your thoughts turning dark. You’re not there anymore. You’re here, with me, and you’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.”
She blinked back tears and nodded.
“It’s just… old memories. I want this,” she promised, and it was the truth.
He didn’t push for more, simply continued the slow circles on her back. Each caress eased her fears a little more, and her desire began to build again. She found herself shifting against him, the movement pressing her core against his erection.
A low, guttural sound escaped his throat and he grabbed her hips, pulling her tighter against him, then immediately releasing her. She rocked against him again and a shudder ran through his body.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “That feels good.”
Encouraged, she repeated the movement, savoring the heat of his cock through the fabric.
“So good,” he growled. “Do you want more?”