Chapter 17 #3
“I suppose I dangle such a dreadful prospect before myself to concentrate my mind on the alternative. I know I am approaching the years of danger; I must act soon or not at all.”
“I’m not sure I understand you,” said Mary. “In what possible way can you act? Do you mean to go around asking men to marry you?”
“No,” replied Charlotte ruefully. “I haven’t arrived at that degree of boldness quite yet.
But I won’t disguise from you that I’m prepared to do everything I can—within the bounds of propriety, of course—to find a respectable man to be my husband.
If such a one were to cross my path tomorrow, I should not answer for his chances of escaping me. ”
Her tone was light-hearted, but Mary did not doubt for a moment that she meant all she said.
“I sometimes think,” Charlotte continued, “that for some men, especially those without much experience of society, it must be a great relief when a woman throws off discretion and doesn’t hesitate to convey how readily she would agree to become his wife.
It must be a terrible thing not to know before you ask what the answer to a proposal of marriage is likely to be.
The certainty of acceptance must be a tremendous encouragement to the making of an offer. ”
“You say nothing at all of love. Do you really think it a good idea to marry where there is no affection?”
“Well, I am not romantic, you know. The last ten years have cured me of that. I am not Lizzy, who will always be sought after. Women like me who aren’t overburdened with a choice of suitors must learn to discipline their feelings.
I’m sure I would settle now for anyone with a little money of his own who wasn’t positively unkind.
I no longer look for a great love. A comfortable home and the security of a proper settlement is all I ask. ”
She turned to look directly at Mary.
“I hope I haven’t shocked you. I’ve been brooding on these things for so long that it is a great relief to open my mind and speak about them to someone; and for all kinds of reasons, I thought you might understand how I have come to think as I do.”
“You are certainly very frank.”
“Yes, I have spoken very plainly, and not only because it was a pleasure to talk honestly for once of matters which are not usually discussed.”
Charlotte’s usual half smile had disappeared. She was entirely serious now.
“I suppose I also thought you might learn something from my experience and apply it to your own future prospects. I’m offering you advice, if you wish to take it.
So—don’t waste time as I have done waiting for something to happen.
Fortune really does favour the brave, you know.
Don’t believe you can find happiness celebrating the good fortune of others.
An eternity spent smiling and cooing over the good luck of your friends makes the heart sick in the end.
And above all, don’t long for what you cannot have, but learn to recognise what is possible, and when it presents itself, seize upon it with both hands.
It seems to me this is the only route to happiness for those of us born with neither beauty, riches, nor charm. ”
Charlotte reached for the little bag at her feet.
“There! What a collection of portentous observations! I don’t imagine your favourite Dr. Fordyce would approve, but then he has not the knowledge of the world that I have.
” She stood up, all briskness now, and readied herself to leave.
“I am not at all surprised after such a lengthy confession to find myself extremely hungry. I shall go and see if I can hunt down Lizzy and compel her to the supper table.”
She did not ask Mary to accompany her; nor did she look back as she made her way towards the dining room.
For the rest of the evening, Charlotte’s unexpected declaration occupied Mary’s mind.
She thought about it as she sat eating an ice with her mother.
When she picked up the printed programme for the evening, put on her glasses, and appeared to be studying it, Charlotte’s words rang in her ears.
She was still considering them when, to her surprise, she heard her own name mentioned.
When she turned to see who had spoken, she saw Lady Lucas a few footsteps away, eagerly pointing out to Mr. Bingley’s sisters those of the Bennet family to whom they had not yet been introduced.
“And lastly, of course,” declared Lady Lucas, “there is Miss Mary Bennet, the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood.”
Before she knew it, Mary’s eyes met those of the younger Bingley sister, who bobbed the smallest possible curtsy in acknowledgement.
“That is a great achievement, to be sure,” she said, “and one which, judging by appearances, is very much deserved.”
Flustered, Mary stood and curtsied back.
“I honour your commitment to learning,” Miss Bingley continued smoothly. “Study clearly trumps all other considerations in your mind. You are an example to us all.”
Lady Lucas smiled, and the Bingley sisters swept away. It was only once they had gone that Mary realised she was still wearing her spectacles.