Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
Mei: Sorry to interrupt practice, but there’s something weighing on my mind. When you said Ghost Hunter’s International wasn’t real, you were joking, right?
I whoop to the sky, then spin and run across the soccer field to high-five my teammate, who expertly kicked my amazing pass into the goal. It couldn’t have been more perfect, and all the coaches were watching. “That was INSANE!” I call to him, and he flashes me a grin, running to meet me.
“Stanford’s never seen this duo before,” he says, high fiving me with both hands. “This season’s gonna be unbelievable.”
Riding a high, we run toward center field, and he smacks my arm and points at the stadium gates. “Looks like we’ve already got ourselves a fan.”
My knees lock, jerking me to a stop. Mei is on the other side of the fence, her fingers gripping it. Her face is red and swollen, and I try catching her eye, but she won’t look at me.
Panic sweeps through me, leaving me light-headed, and dread creeps across the grass to yank my feet into motion. But the grass is sludge, holding me back from the reason she’s here, looking like she’s falling apart.
The earth pauses in its rotation, smothering the yells and whistles of the scrimmage behind me. I shove through the fog in my brain, easing into a run that turns into a sprint.
I skid to a stop at the fence, gripping the rail to steady myself. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
Tears well in her eyes, and her hand goes to her throat. I kick my toe into the chain link, swing myself over it, and pull her into my arms. Her shoulders tremble. “Talk to me.” My voice shakes as I cradle her against me. Her fingers grip the front of my shirt that’s pasted to my chest with sweat. The longer she stays silent, the faster my heart beats until finally, I hold her at arm’s length and duck to meet her eyes. “What is it, Mei?”
“He’s here,” she whispers. “I was walking the dogs and stopped in at the market to get them treats. It was less than five minutes.” She swallows, choking out the next words. “I crossed the street toward campus, and he was there. Just…staring at me.”
“Whoa—hold up. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Who’s here? My dad? What did he say to you? I swear if he?—”
She shakes her head quickly. “No…not your dad. I wish it was him, but it wasn’t. I saw him, Marcus—he was following me. He saw me.” Her voice breaks, and she drops her head, but I catch her chin between my fingers and tilt her head back so she has to look at me.
“Who was following you?” I press.
The answer swims in her eyes, sending ripples of fear through me.
I don’t let go of her. “Did he hurt you?” I search her face, which is definitely swollen but only from tears.
She shakes her head. “I ran to Poppy’s. She brought me here.”
“How? It’s not even possible for him to be here. He’s locked up.”
“It was him,” she chokes. “He found me.”
The night she stood in my room, bloody and bruised, flashes through my mind, and anger lights me up. I curse, letting go of her, my hands on my head as I visually sweep the field, my team—all there in a huddle. With one exception because here I am, once again, dealing with the aftershocks of Nick. Dealing with another mess he’s making in our life.
“I’m calling my dad,” I say, whirling around to face her. “We’re not gonna do this. We’re not gonna run or be afraid and let him?—”
“No—we can’t. I can’t. You know what will happen, Marcus. And now Nick knows we’re here.”
Frustration boils in my chest, its heat rising in my throat. “Then what do you want me to do? Just let him find us? Let him rape you? Kill you? What, Mei? We never made a plan for this. Never talked about what we’d do if Nick found us here. Because he’s supposed to be locked up.” Even though…Dad asked me what I would do if I found out Nick was out. But Dad was just trying to scare me. No way Nick’s out of jail.
She shakes her head and won’t look at me. “He’s not in jail. He hasn’t been for a while.”
“How do you know that?”
Tears roll down her cheeks, and I reach out and hold her face between my hands, wiping the tears away with my thumbs.
“The night you told me you got back into Stanford,” Mei whispers. “Right before you came into the restaurant. My mom called. She told me Nick was out. There wasn’t enough evidence to keep him in custody. I should have told you. I know I should have told you, but you were so excited about Stanford. I couldn’t ruin it.”
I stare at her. Wait for understanding. Swear. “Not enough evidence ?” I let go of her face. Step back, hands gripping the back of my head. Give myself some space. “How is that even possible? You called the cops. Told them what went down.”
She nods, stiff and tense. “And when they got there, they found Nick in a puddle of his own blood, and he blamed me for it. Said I went crazy on him. Stole from him. Mama told me to stay away from San Francisco because he was asking about me. He’s been looking. But after seeing how excited you were, I decided to be excited with you and hope and pray he would never find us.”
Dad knew. He knew, and he didn’t warn me. The thought turns to boiling rage. “No. No, no, no!” I curse to the sky, raking one hand through my hair. “We have to call the cops. We have no choice. We can figure out how to keep you in the States after Nick’s in custody, but?—”
“It doesn’t work like that. The moment they know where I am, it’s over. I’ve seen how it works. I’ve watched it. I’m on their radar for assault. They’ll send me straight back to Taiwan or put me in jail here, so I’m leaving before they can. Nick knows people who will make sure I don’t get out. But you don’t need to come with me this time. Stay here. I’ll find somewhere to?—”
“Are you insane ?” I burst, grabbing and squeezing her hands. “You’re not going anywhere alone. If anything?—”
Someone yells my name, and my head snaps over my shoulder, my focus going to the head coach who’s staring at me, chomping his gum, hands on his hips. He already took me aside and talked to me about the day Dad showed up. Said I need to keep my personal life and soccer life separate and stay focused.
My legs tense, ready to hop the fence and run back to him. Instead, I yank Mei toward the bleachers, calling, “Be right back!” to my coach, and steer her around the corner and out of sight.
“I’ve gotta get back to the team. Hang out here. You’ll be safe, and then, after practice, we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a solution, I promise.” I search her eyes, but they fill with tears.
“It’s only a matter of time before he shows up here, Marcus. He won’t stop.”
No way am I walking away from Stanford and giving up everything when there has to be another choice to ending this game of hide and seek. But is there really a choice? After what Dad said and now Mei…I’m not so sure anymore.
“He’ll stop if he’s locked up. It would take one phone call. You get that, right?” I wait, hoping she says yes to reassure me.
“There is no evidence to hold him. All the bruises are gone. There’s nothing I can say or do that will keep me here with you. I have to go. And I won’t ask you to give up everything to go with me. Never again.”
“It’s not about asking me to give it up. We’re in this together. Remember our plan? Stanford’s a big part of it. I can’t just walk away. We can figure this out, I swear.” I glance over my shoulder at one of my teammates running toward me and pull Mei to me, my mouth on her ear. “Hang out here, and when I finish practice, we can decide what to do. We’ll figure out why he’s following you. Come up with a plan to stop him. Please.” I lead her around the bleachers to a bench. “Be there in a minute,” I call to my teammate.
“Coach is flamed, dude. You can’t just walk away.” He shoots a look at Mei, then back at me, shaking his head. “He told me to tell you that if you walk away again, kiss your season goodbye.”
“Yeah. Got it—I’m coming.” I turn back to Mei. “Stay here. He won’t do anything with all of us here, and if he tries, that’s the perfect way to get him locked up. It’s only a couple more hours before we take a break, and then we can talk. Stay right here where I can see you. Yeah?”
Mei meets my eyes but says nothing. Finally, she nods. I let out a frustrated breath and run across the field to take my position. But the corner of my eye catches movement by the bleachers, and I look over to see Mei disappearing around the corner.
I take off at a sprint, focusing on her, ignoring Coach’s yells for me to get back into position. I yell Mei’s name, but she takes off running, so I yell louder and run faster, grabbing her arm when I catch up to her. I spin her to face me.
“What are you doing ?” My chest heaves.
She’s sobbing. “I can’t do it. I won’t. It’s always going to be like this as long as you’re with me, and I can’t live knowing I ruined your life. The guilt will crush me. It’s already started. You’ve got everything you need here, and I’m not going to hold you back anymore. I ruined your relationship with your dad and made you run away from your life. I love you so much, but I can’t keep doing this to you, so…call your dad. Tell him everything. Just give me a head start so I can disappear.”
I swear and grab both of her arms, pulling her closer and holding her in place. “No—stop, Mei. You’re not even making sense right now. I can’t even…” I curse again and let go. “What are you saying, Mei?” I squint at her like I can prevent the words she said from sinking in too deeply.
“I’m saying, if you stay with me, it’s never going to get better than this. Wherever we go, Nick will find us. You can’t have Stanford and me. And I will never make you choose.”
I take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly. “I just need you to sit on the bench and wait until after practice. Everything is happening too fast, and we’re not gonna make any more last-minute decisions.”
“Every decision we’ve ever made was last minute. Your team is waiting,” she whispers but it’s a hurricane, blowing everything apart, hurling it away from us. “Go.”
“And if I do?”
“You’ll win your season.”
“With or without you?”
She looks at the ground and brings her tear-filled eyes to mine. “Without me,” she whispers. “It has to be this way.”
My heart pounds in my throat, ice water running through my veins, starting in my chest and flooding my limbs. “You’re gonna leave ? Like…you’re walking away? From us? And me?”
Tears spill over onto her cheeks. “If I go, he’ll follow me and leave you alone. If I don’t, we’ll both get hurt. Or worse. I love you way too much to let anything happen to you.”
She’s talking, but her words are droning through my head like a language I don’t understand, and I turn my attention to my only available possibilities:
Chance of losing Mei if I call the cops: 100%
Chance of losing Mei if I turn and run back to practice: 100%
I look down, expecting my body to be half-submerged in the thick darkness of the decision, the weight from the atmosphere pounding me into the ground.
Mei’s leaving.
Instead of figuring out a plan, she’s walking away.
Without me.
My head snaps up. “So let me get this straight. If I call the cops, I lose you. If I let you run that way, and I run that way”—I throw my thumb back at the field—“I lose you. Am I right? Is it safe to assume that my only option is losing you?”
“For the last two months, I actually thought…” She shakes her head, swiping tears from her cheeks. “The last two months have been a dream, Marcus, but Nick just woke me up.” Her whole body shrinks—folds in on itself, leaving nothing but her eyes, which deliver the ultimatum: “I love you, but I have to go.”
My mind goes blank as I stare at her, my ears tuning in to the thud of someone’s cleat connecting with the ball, my teammates calling to each other, their voices riding the breeze toward me, tugging at me. A plane drones overhead, and I wish I was on it, completely oblivious to the wreckage below.
A car horn blares and jerks me back to the moment, the ground opening between us, the gap filled with intentions and emotions and terrible, last-minute plans.
But am I gonna jump across that gap to Mei’s side this time? The ground behind me is solid—turf and dreams and future. But on her side…
Uncertainty. Failure. Giving up. But also…Mei. I chose her once without Stanford, not knowing I’d ever get back in. Stanford didn’t matter then. Why does it matter so much now?
Because I wanted Stanford way before I met Mei. It used to be everything before she took that spot.
But she’s in that spot now, and Stanford could never fill the hole she’d leave. I gave up Stanford once. For Dad. Could I do it again for the one person I’ll love forever, here or anywhere else? The girl I promised I’d love forever, no matter what. Is this included in “no matter what”?
Dad asked me what I would do if Nick showed up, and I told him I’d run. I’d stay with Mei, choose her every time. Does that mean he knew Nick was out, and it was his way of telling me?
The whistle blows, and I know my time’s up. Now or never. Do or die.
Do.
I turn and haul myself back to the bench for my soccer bag, keeping my eyes on my feet. I count the steps to avoid the soccer field that will forever remain stuck between my cleats and in the past.
I throw the bag over my shoulder as Coach strides toward me, his mouth moving, but my roaring thoughts drown his words. “There’s an extra spot on your team,” I call and walk away.
Mei is already across the parking lot. I stop, watching her, second-guessing my decision and wondering if I can handle this being my last memory of her if I turn and run back to my team.
Them or her.
Me or her.
Us.
She stops at the curb, waiting for passing cars. If she crosses the road, there won’t be an us. That road will forever be our dividing line.
I take off running, my bag bouncing against my hip, and slide onto my motorcycle. I rev the engine and peel out of the parking stall. Pulling up to the curb beside Mei, I put one foot down. Her eyes roam my face, but she makes no move. “Get on,” I say, my voice squeezing through my tight throat.
“Marcus, go back to?—”
“Get on the bike, Mei. We have to go.”