Chapter 14 – Hannah
I decide to take a chance at figuring out what Tatum’s issue is with me while Greyson is busy helping his dad with dishes after we’ve finished eating. He’s sitting by himself on one of the loungers outside. His hands are back behind his head, his eyes closed, only a slight scowl on his face. How these two are related, I will never know—they’re night and day.
“Can I sit?” I ask hesitantly. One eye pops open and meets mine, his face pulling tight. I’m met with silence. Sighing, I take that as a sign he isn’t going to talk to me. Regardless, I sit in the chair next to him, placing my arms on my knees and lean forward. “What have I done to make you not like me?” I ask, not expecting an answer.
“Don’t know you enough not to like you.” Frustration creeps up; I feel like I’m talking to a wall.
“Okay then, why are you so cold towards me?” Trying again because, dang it, I’m going to get an answer out of him.
His eyes fly open, and he moves to face me so fast that I recoil. “Like I said, I don’t know you enough to have an opinion. I don’t care to know you; I told my brother I didn’t like whatever was going on between you two. I don’t support it. I don’t know what your end game is, but I’ll figure it out.”
Suddenly, I wish I hadn’t asked; my stomach plummets to my feet. I’ve heard this before, but it's a different voice; I know all too well how it feels to be looked at like you’re the problem. I used to see this very look in my dad’s eyes like I was a disappointment just because I existed. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I push forward. “We’re just friends, Tatum.” It’s whispered, and all the fight I had in me b led out when I heard he didn’t “like” this.
He glares for way longer than comfortable; I’m fighting every instinct I have to curl in on myself to hide from his intensity. I can’t look away; if I do, it feels like I’m giving him control over me. I can’t do that. Not again. “Does he know that?” He snaps, his voice strikes like a snake, every word a painful bite. “Because he doesn’t look at you like a friend. He’s got way too big of a heart; he falls way too fast. And to be honest, I don’t think you’re good enough for him.”
I want to push back, to tell him just how wrong he is, but I don’t. The truth is, I’m terrified he’s right. I’ve always been terrified of not being enough for someone, of being abandoned when they see the scars that lay beneath the semi-polished exterior.
Without another word, he pushes off the chair and walks into the house without sparing me a second glance. The hot Florida sun seems to be twenty times hotter than it was when I first came out here. I feel the tears building behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I tip my head back and let the brutal sun dry them where they are. The desire to run has amplified tenfold.
I look back at the house where Greyson and his brother are having an animated discussion. I lose the fight to my intrusive thoughts as I take advantage of the moment and quietly walk through the side gate.
Once I’m through it, I take off running in the direction of the main street. Making it to a gas station, I pull out my phone and order a ride. My bag is still at their house, and I feel awful for not saying bye or thank you. But there’s something about being somewhere where I know I’m not wanted th at makes me want to flee.
Sure, I’ve come to terms with my feelings being more than friendly. I know his are, too. We just crossed that line, and now I’m running. More than likely ruining everything before it even has the chance to begin. They’ll realize you aren’t worth the headache; then you’ll be all alone. UGH! Why am I like this?
I’ve been fighting for love and acceptance for so long I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to be what gets between Greyson and his family; he was made to feel like he had to choose between them and Kara. I won’t be that way. Better to nip this in the bud now than to get too deep and have it destroy us both. But damn, it freaking sucks.
Abby is bouncing on the balls of her feet when I walk in the door. “What are you doing?” I sigh.
“I need the deets, duh. What happened? Where’d you go? You’ve been gone for like nine hours.” Has it been that long? I peer down at my watch and see that it’s 5:43 PM. Dang, the day flew by.
“Can I shower and change first?” Her eyes narrow as she realizes I’m not matching her enthusiasm.
I need a minute to regroup. Harley is lying on my bed under the covers, with her head on the pillow like the spoiled posh princess she is. “Hey, noodle girl. How was your day?” I walk over to nuzzle her neck and rub the spot s he loves right behind her ears before heading to the bathroom. My phone lights up as soon as I get back to my room; grabbing it, I sigh when I see who it is.
Greyson: Hey. Where’d you go? My mom wants you to try her cheesecake.
Greyson: Kitten, did you leave? Did something happen?
Greyson: Hannah, where the heck are you? Are you okay?
Greyson: Screw it, I’m coming over.
––––––––
Dang it, that last one was sent a few minutes ago. Maybe if I text him back, he’ll stay away.
Hannah: I’m fine; I just got overwhelmed. I’m sorry, Grey, but I think we need to keep our relationship professional.
Greyson: Professional? What the heck happened between the lighthouse and now to make you say that?
Hannah: Please.
Greyson: No, start talking.
Hannah: Thank you for today. Tell your parents thank you, too. I’ll see you at the rink.
Greyson: Absolutely not. Why did you leave?
Greyson: Hannah, so help me, God. I will show up there. Did I do something wrong?
My eyes start leaking, falling into my bed. I push my face into my pillow and let it all out. He didn’t do anything wrong, and the absolute last thing I want him to think is that he did.
Hannah: No, you didn’t. I just can’t do it. There’s too much riding on this carnival. I can’t give you the time and effort you deserve. Please, Grey.
––––––––
Turning my phone off, I throw it to the side. Letting the words of Tate wash over me. “I don’t care to know you.” “I don’t think you’re good enough for him.” In all honesty, I’m probably not. And I understand why he’s protective of his brother. I'd be the same way with Eli if some crazy woman tried to do what his ex did. That doesn’t mean it hurts any less to hear.
A knock on the door pulls my attention, and I hold my breath, hoping he really didn’t show up here. Abby sticks her head in as she takes a look at me. Her shoulders droop, and she holds up a finger, indicating that she’ll be right back. My eyeballs might as well be sprinklers at this point.
“Oh, honey... What happened?” Her concern is clear as day as she hands me a shot glass and then sits on the end of my bed. Clinking our glasses together, we throw them back, grimacing as the tequila burns on the way down. This time, I don’t think I mind it, though.
“We were having such a good day, and I had to go and ruin it.” I feel like I’ve got a ball of snot sitting in my stomach. I freaking hate crying. Probably because my dad used to tell me crying was for the weak, and he couldn’t love weak people.
“Start from the beginning.” She gives me a pointed look and pours us another shot. I’m going to hate myself even more tomorrow.
I ran through the day's events, smiling as I recounted our walk to the lighthouse and lunch. Shame coats me as I get to the stupid decision I made. “I couldn’t figure out why I was getting the death stare from his brother all day, so when he was alone, I asked him why...”
Rolling the shot glass bac k and forth in my hands, I look up at Abby, who looks like she wants to shove a stake through a vampire at the moment. Her jaw is clenched, and her fingers are tensed against her legs, which are crossed at the ankles. This woman would start a war for me, and that means more to me than most things.
“He told me he didn’t want to know me, that I wasn’t good enough for his brother. He said that he didn’t know what my end game was, but he’d figure it out. But I get it, I mean.” I sigh as I squeeze the bun on top of my head. “Greyson’s ex was a nutcase. But the complete dismissal, assuming I’m not enough. God, Abby. It was like sitting in front of my father all over again.” Her jaw cracks with the pressure she’s putting on it.
“What a colossal jacka—” A knock on the front door has both our heads snapping in that direction. My eyes must be the size of the moon; my breathing is choppy at best as I start to panic.
“I’m not here.” I cry as I pull a blanket over my head.
“What do you mean you’re ‘not here?’” She whisper shouts at me, pulling the blanket off of me.
“I may have run out the side gate without saying anything while he and his brother were arguing.” I fly back under the blanket and hold it tight.
“Hannah freakin’ Lowery! You did not!” The knock turns into a bang this time. Followed by a deep voice.
“Hannah, open the door.” It’s not Greyson; it’s Tatum.
Abby, in all her defensive Mama Bear glory, perks up at the realization. “Oh heck yes!! Mama’s got you, little one.” She chuckles; it’s dark and devious. My favorite beast is pissed off Abby when you hurt someone she cares about.
She leaves my door cracked enough that I can hear but closed enough that you can’t see I’m here. “What do you want?” Abby deadpans.
There’s an exasperated sigh. “Can you get your roommate, please?”
“Nope.” It’s blunt, to the point, and no-nonsense.
“I’m assuming you’ve talked to her, considering you were not this pissy when I was here earlier.” His growing annoyance makes me smile. While yes, I understand the hesitation. What I don’t understand is writing someone you don’t know off as having an ulterior motive. I like to think I have a working moral compass.
“Correct.” She takes his normal demeanor and throws it right back at him.
“Damn it, Abby. I need to talk to her; Greyson’s flipping out.”
“Sounds like a personal problem. You know, the one you created. I don’t know what your issue is, but I’ll be the first to tell you Hannah’s dealt with enough bullies in her life. She’s not going to put up with you too. She’ll just remove herself from the situation, which, news flash, is exactly what she did. So maybe, grow some balls and tell your brother why she ran off instead of feeding him whatever excuse you did to buy yourself enough time to come here looking for her.” With that, she slammed the door, locking it behind her.
She skips back into my room, cracking up when she takes in my shocked face. I launch myself at her, wrapping my arms around her neck. “You’re my hero, Abs.”