Chapter 17 – Hannah
Getting out of bed on a Tuesday morning never felt more like a chore than it does right now. The past couple of days were heavy in the mental load department; my head was a bit of a mess. I lack direction; I don’t even want to go to work today. But I can’t get out of some of the meetings I have scheduled.
One is with the current head of Sports Marketing; she’s leaving to go work with a team in New York where her husband got traded. I don’t know what this meeting is about, but it showed up on my calendar yesterday. Who am I to question it? It could be another step towards my goal.
My phone rings right at 9:02 AM as I pull my shirt over my head, swipe it off the dresser, and smile at the name. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, sweetheart, I haven’t heard from you in a few days; I just wanted to check in. You normally don’t disappear like that. Well, from me, at least.” I check my outfit in the mirror before grabbing a pair of kitten heels that perfectly complement the black pencil skirt and light green top I have on. I braided my hair after I got off the phone with Greyson last night, so it now flows in waves down my back. I gotta say, it’s one of my favorite looks.
“I’m okay, Mom. I just have a lot going on at the moment. The carnival is this weekend, and I’m trying to tie up all the loose ends and make sure it goes off without a hitch.”
“Are you overworking yourself?” Her sigh shakes the foundation of doubt I’ve been slow to examine over the last few months. The doubt that I’m not really doing this for myself, that she and Abby are right and one day I’ll look back on this and realize I gave up so much of my life with nothing to actually show for it. Is this really how I want to spend the rest of it? Running the rat race with no end in sight, there will always be something bigger, better, and shinier. Does it really end with this promotion?
I can’t answer that.
“Probably, but after the season, I have some PTO I can use. I’ll come see you and Eli or something.” I miss home, but the memories that were made there, haunt me. I haven’t been back since Dad died. But maybe that’s what I need; I need to be reminded of who I am. Who the real Hannah is, not the one who's been reduced to nothing, constantly trying to prove herself to a dead guy.
“I wish you’d take better care of yourself. This isn’t healthy, Hannah. You can’t keep putting your career above everything else. I don’t want you to be fifty with eight dogs.” Gosh, this woman is something else.
“I know, I know. You want grandkids minus the tails and fur.” I clap back with every ounce of sarcasm I can muster. Her laugh calms my frayed nerves; my heart softens a bit. I know she’s right; I’m stubborn. What can I say? My entire personality is a trauma response. I don’t even know who I am without my job. That might be an underlying issue. It looks like I have something to talk to Megan about next week during therapy.
“Gotta go, Mom; I need coffee before I get to the office. I love you.” She tells me she loves me and then hangs up. With my hands braced on the kitchen island, I hang my head in front of me. Mentally, I’m exhausted. I’m questioning everything. Everything but Greyson’s words about a family last night. For some reason that I can’t explain, those words brought as much peace as they did shock.
I think maybe he'll be the one to help me rebuild what was broken in me. He’ll be the one to prove me and my dad wrong. He’ll be the one who helps me see my own worth and who loves me for me. Scars and all. Yeah, I think I’d give it all up for that. I just hope he catches me as I fall.
“Nora, what’s the policy on dating players?” I blurt it out as soon as I step inside her office, I can’t hold it in anymore. I want to know what I’m up against. Her eyebrows shoot up as she looks over her laptop at me.
“What player?” Her voice is slow as if she’s trying to piece it together before I tell her.
“We’re not dating, but we’ve both decided we want to see where it could go. He said he’d wait until the season was over before we took it past friendship if that was an issue. I don’t want it to ruin my chances at this promotion. But, I think he’s worth that risk.” She takes her glasses off and puts one end in her mouth as a smirk takes over her face.
“I’ve been waiting for this day for almost five years now. I’m not going to ask who it is, but from what you’ve said, I assume it’s one of the Hawks players?” Her smile grows, and I don’t know if I should feel relaxed or concerned.
“Yeah, it is.” Twistin g my hands in front of me, I wait for the fatal blow I’m convinced is coming. Because there’s no way on God’s green earth, she’ll be okay with this. I’m not that lucky.
“Just let HR know when it gets to something more than friendship. If you’re just exploring right now, I have no qualms with it as long as it doesn’t affect your work. Don’t favor him over other players, and we’ll be golden.” I feel like my jaw is on the floor like Roger when he first saw Jessica Rabbit. What?
“Oh, come on, Hannah. You’ve been single and boring since you started working here. If someone has finally caught your attention, I’m not going to be the roadblock. Just don’t let it come between you and your job. Now, let’s go. Melanie is waiting for us.” I’m going to ignore that backhanded comment. I am not boring. Right?
Coming to my senses, I turned and hurried after her down the hallway toward the conference room. Once inside, we sit across from Melanie and a few people from her team. “Can you run me through the carnival? All of it, from its budget breakdown to projections, please?” She asks as she shuffles some papers around in front of her.
I wasn’t prepared for this today. Who schedules a projections meeting less than twenty-four hours before and then doesn’t put that in the notes?! “Umm, sure, let me just pull it up.” Scrambling to get my laptop out of my bag, I knock over my water bottle, sending it to the floor with a loud clunk. Luckily, I brought the bottle with the spill-proof lid today.
“Here is a list of the items that have been donated so far. Based on what these items are going for on the internet, the projected profit from the auction items is roughly $600,000. Which is more than enough to sponsor the original two hundred kids if their seasons are $2,000 or less. ” I continue with what I believe to be the outcome of the carnival and how we’ve managed to stay under budget. The Sports Marketing team sits quietly, nodding their heads and asking questions every so often.
When we’re done, and everyone gets up to leave, Melanie asks me to stay behind. Looking towards Nora for direction, she just gives me a nod of approval before walking out. “I’ll be honest, Hannah. I wouldn’t have thought of this idea, and I wouldn’t have stayed under budget if I had. I think bringing in small, local shops and restaurants was a really smart idea not only in terms of budgeting but in giving them a chance to shine too.” Her smile is warm as she looks at me.
“When I first started this job, I wanted to solely work with sports teams. But one of the most rewarding parts of this position is working the community into the events. You’ve done that beautifully. My team agrees. We had a whiteboard full of ideas for this event, and when Nora told me she had someone she thought would be perfect for this, we were skeptical. But I’m fully on board right now. I would be honored and completely confident in you taking over my position. It’s clear you have a knack for this kind of work.”
Wow, that's not how I thought this meeting was going to go. Definitely not the boost in mood I thought I’d be getting today, but by golly, I’ll take it. “Thank you, Mrs. Nelson. I really appreciate that. I enjoyed putting it together. And I’m looking forward to the kids' reactions on Saturday.”
“I’m looking forward to that, too.” She reaches her hand across the table, offering it for me to shake. I grab hold and give her a small squeeze before shaking it; we drop hands as we stand and head out of the conference room. I can’t wipe the smile off my face the entire way to my desk. When I get there, it only grows. Sitting on my desk is a teddy bear dressed like a sailor and an iced coffee from Beautiful Pour. There’s a card tucked between the bear's arms and legs; grabbing it, I pull it out and begin to read.
“ Thank you for giving me a chance to woo you, Kitten. I miss you already. When I get back, you better be ready to say ‘yes.’ I won’t accept any other answer. See you at the carnival.
-Love, your extremely handsome, devilishly charming Bulldozer.
This. Freaking. Guy.