Chapter Thirty-Seven
Matt
Communicate with your words, not with your fists.
Justine and I had been working on that.
With the tourney coming up, I’d explained my situation to her and requested semi-weekly appointments for the time being instead of bi-weekly.
I was trying to put in as much work as possible on myself before the tourney.
I had my heart set on playing, and there was no way in hell that I was letting my college career end on a bench.
I hadn’t seen Jade in person in weeks. She’d texted me a few times, and as long as the message wasn’t about Cody, I’d respond.
When it came to Cody though, I’d still been avoiding his ass.
Every time he came into the room, I’d leave it.
Every time he spoke, I’d act like I didn’t hear anything.
I hadn’t even been going to the same bars as him.
Real mature of me, I know. But I’d never been hurt like this before, and I was afraid that if I was in the same room as him for too long, I’d snap.
The rest of the guys were trying to stay out of it. At first, I was a bit pissed at them for it. They all agreed that Cody was in the wrong, yet no one was willing to stand up for me and say it to his face.
Apparently, Jade had told my parents about her and Cody. My mom texted me earlier about it, which made things too official for my liking.
Since our whole family was in on it now, I decided to snip all this in the ass and face them once and for all.
I texted Cody and Jade, asking to talk, and I was surprised by how quickly they jumped on it.
Quite honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to say. I was hoping it would come to me whenever they were sitting in front of me.
El had offered to be there for moral support, but I told her this was something I needed to do on my own.
As usual, the house was a mess, even after Jonah and Jett cleaned it just days ago.
Dirty socks and trash littered the floor, and my nervous instinct was to pick it all up as I waited, just for the sake of having something to keep me busy.
I gave in to the desire, running around and cleaning as much as I could until I heard my sister’s laughter spill into the house.
My adrenaline spiked, and I forced myself to sit on the couch as they rounded the corner, both their smiles vanishing at the sight of me. They sat on the couch opposite of me, and the first thing I noticed was how close they were. Legs scraping against each other. Breathing in the other’s orbit.
My fist was aching to drive itself across Cody’s face, but I stayed put. They both proceeded with caution, their eyes remaining on me like they were on high alert, searching for any sign of danger.
Even though I could feel that anger bubbling up, resurfacing, I wasn’t going to show it. I wasn’t going to act dangerous. A deep, heavy breath rushed out of my lungs as I sat back against the couch.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” Cody said. Jade remained quiet.
“So,” I started, “I wanted to talk.”
“Yeah, we... have been wanting to talk too. For a while now,” Cody spoke.
The discomfort in the room was so thick, I could choke on it. We all stared at each other, the moment of silence eating us away.
When Jade’s hand jutted out, grabbing Cody’s for support, I grew dizzy.
The reality had been smacking me in the face every day since I found that wretched polaroid, but seeing them together with my own eyes was a lot to take in.
“So, you two are together?”
They nodded in sync.
There was sadness wafting from them, guilt even. The only time I’d ever seen that sort of pain in Cody’s eyes was when he spoke about his life back home, and even that was maybe only once or twice.
He was always so confident, so charming. He was breaking in front of my eyes, and I wondered how many nights there had been over the past three weeks where he’d split apart from all this just like me.
I was mad at him still. Hurt. Of course, I was. Slowly trying to accept the source of the pain.
But he was my brother, my best friend. Regardless of how mad I was at him, his hurt made me hurt more. And I’d missed him through all this chaos too.
I asked all the hard, unanswered questions that had been permeating my brain for weeks.
How did this happen?
When did this happen?
Why didn’t you tell me sooner?
They answered every single one with full transparency. Minus sparing me the gross details.
Honesty wasn’t always my strength. And sadness certainly wasn’t my fucking forte. I never cried. I never faltered. I never did it in front of people, at least. Nobody ever saw that side of me, because that side rarely existed.
But right now, I was so uncomfortable from the sound of my own voice, a rough, shaky echo. Yet saying the truth to their faces was like I was somehow washing the lifelong infection of antagonism out of my body.
“Do you two have any idea how bad this fucking hurt me? You were lying to me for months. Both of you,” I stated.
“Matt,” Jade breathed heavily, “we understand.”
“You don’t,” I said firmly. “Jade, you’ve gone your whole life pushing against the rules and going out of your way to do every single thing you knew you shouldn’t have.
And as your brother, I’ve always been there to bail you out.
So, for you to turn around and lie to me?
Sneak around with my best friend? Did that give you the thrill you always strived for, Jade? ”
“It’s not like that!” she cried.
Regret immediately struck me. Maybe I’d been harsh, but if I wasn’t going to hand it to them with words, then my fist probably would’ve found its way through the wall.
Cody squeezed her with one arm, eyes clenching shut like he was preparing for his own crucifixion.
“And you?” I started, mouth forming a hard line as my stomach churned.
“You know that the two most important people in my life are El and my sister. And you apparently had to have one of them.” I shook my head at him, fighting the demons inside me to remain in my seat and keep my fists from curling.
“We live together. You’ve been looking me in the fucking eye every day before sneaking off at night to see my sister.
You were just going to keep fucking around together until what?
You eventually ghosted her? Broke her heart?
Waited until I left for the league before telling a soul?
Or were you planning on taking to your fucking grave that you screwed me over before hurting someone that I loved? ”
“Matt, I’m sorry,” Cody croaked, the sound jabbing into me roughly like broken glass would.
“I’m sorry I betrayed you. And I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did.
I know I’m an asshole for it, and if I could go back and do things differently, I would.
But I’m not just fucking around. I genuinely care about her.
” Glazed hazel eyes fell to the floor as his mouth opened and shut like he was holding something back.
I inched forward, resting my hands on my knees as I waited, staring at him with anticipation.
His gaze met mine. “Matt, I love her.”
My eyes narrowed at him, looking for any sign of a bluff.
But I couldn’t find one.
Jade remained still, a frail statue with long locks of black hair. It wasn’t just puppy-dog eyes she was giving me— it was an agonizing plea. She wanted my approval, begged for it silently.
I got flashbacks to when we were kids. The way she’d look at me when she wanted the last popsicle. How she needed help reaching things or tying her ice skates or needed me to pick her up when she’d fall.
It was tearing at me. She was a pain in my ass ninety-nine percent of the time, but I’d still take a bullet for her with no hesitation.
Jade had always been tenacious, hard-headed, and strong-willed. It took a lot for her to crack, and as her big brother, my instinct was to make it better.
I turned to Cody, swallowing. “You’re not bullshitting me?”
“No,” he firmly shook his head.
For some reason, I couldn’t look at either of them right now. There was something so beautiful yet unsettling about hearing him say those words. A sliver of relief pierced into me that he was serious about this. He was serious about her. Serious about this conversation.
But whereas our team had seen me in love for years, quietly yet wholeheartedly, I’d never seen Cody in love once.
“You’re not gonna fuck this up?” I raised a brow at him.
“I mean, I’m sure I’ll fuck something up at some point,” he admitted through a playful snort. “But I’m going to try my absolute best not to.”
I could feel that internal simmer finally calming. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I shifted to Jade. “You want to be with him?”
“Yes,” she squeaked.
“And he’s good to you?”
She melted. “He is.”
“Good, I’d beat his ass if he wasn’t,” I mumbled.
“Matt,” Cody interrupted, “we want your blessing. We love each other, so we’re going to make this work no matter what, but we want you to be okay with it.”
Apparently, this was going to happen with or without my blessing.
They were clutching onto each other, both holding their breaths as they waited for my response. Two of the people that I loved most in the world were analyzing me like I was about to enchant them or break them.
I didn’t like how much power they were giving me right now.
Cody was everything that I’d always tried to protect Jade from. Immature. A playboy. A messy asshole and cocky son of a bitch.
But she chose him anyway. And I had to let her.
“Alright,” I stood through a rocky sigh, praying that I wouldn’t regret what I was about to say. “You have my blessing.”
I’d never seen Jade light up so brightly. She dove into Cody, burying her face against his chest.
He stood when I closed the gap between us. Hand outstretched, I said, “Don’t fuck this up.”
“A handshake? Are you serious? Fuck that. Give me a fucking hug.”
His arms were around me in record time. I tensed up for a moment before accepting it and hugging him back.
“I missed you man,” he let out.
I sighed. “Missed you too.”
“Don’t forget about me,” Jade asserted. I hugged her tightly as if she’d disappear in my arms. “I love you, Matt.”
Something about the sound made my heart swell inside my chest. I closed my eyes. “I love you too.”
She may be grown and reasonably old enough to make her own decisions, but she’d always be my baby sister.