Chapter 18
RYLAND
“This looks stupid,” Rowan declares.
If it was anyone but my brother, I would say he pouts while he surveys the room.
“No, it doesn’t,” I assure him. “Just because we didn’t get her thousand dollar nesting blankets doesn’t mean this somehow looks bad.”
We’ve turned the kitten’s room into Blair’s unofficial room, too. It may be wishful thinking on our end, since she hasn’t even kissed either me or my brother, but if she wants to nest here, she can.
“I shouldn’t have put up the shelves,” Rowan sighs. “What if the kittens jump on her head while she’s sleeping or something?”
Josie, Posie, and Rosie now have different platforms that they can roam around on in the room. Some are taller than the cat tree, and give them room to explore.
The bed has a thick, plush mattress topper, designed especially for Omegas in their Heat cycles. Thick blue and teal blankets cover the bed with white fluffy pillows sitting on top.
Before we met Blair, this was just a spare bedroom for the kittens to stay in.
But now, it’s furnished with a desk, armchair, and dark-grain wood bookshelf.
It’s polished and practical, but also comfortable.
I clap Rowan on his tense shoulder. “It’s perfect,” I tell him. “Stop spiraling. Everything is fine.”
But Rowan is twitchier than normal. We came up with this plan together—drop off some donations at the rescue then ask Blair to come over tonight.
Travis has had more than enough time with her, yet Rowan and I have barely spent a full day with Blair.
There’s so much more to learn about her, and for her to learn about us.
And once Rowan had noticed her video game collection, he knew the three of us had something in common.
“She’s going to think we’re nerds,” Rowan adds, beginning to pace.
“Hey—hey. Row, we’re good.”
But my brother is spiraling, and it can be hard to pull him out of it when it happens.
I’ve learned that he mostly has to regulate it himself. But sometimes, a little nudge or reminder that he’ll be alright can help.
“I creeped her out the other day,” he mutters. “I tried to take her duffel bag away so she wouldn’t leave.”
“So don’t take her stuff anymore.”
“I’m going to fuck this up, Ryland.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I’m going to mess this up for us.”
A light tinkling of a bell interrupts us, and Josie trots in with her pink collar on, her white tail vibrating in anticipation at seeing Rowan. My brother crouches to pet her, and the tension in his shoulders fades.
Ash and the three girls have been incredible for the atmosphere of the house, and especially for my brother’s racing thoughts.
“That’s not a rational way of thinking,” I remind him, and he nods.
“Yeah, I fuckin’ know,” he grumbles, scratching Josie under her chin. “Doesn’t change the feeling.”
We’ve been having this same conversation since we were kids. Where I was the quiet, confident child, Rowan was the explosive loud one.
He channeled that nervous energy into writing stories—and the older he got, the darker they became.
A lot of those stories turned into plots for some of our best-selling games.
His panic, however, is not a game.
“Hey. Do this.” I place my hand to my chest, pressing gently against my sternum.
He copies me, and exhales softly.
“Sorry,” he mumbles after a moment. “Fuck…she just means a lot to me. And it seems like I already messed up with her.”
I nod. “We’re going to mess up. That’s how life is. The goal is to not screw up so badly that it damages the relationship.”
Rowan makes a face. “How the fuck do you always know the right thing to say?”
I shrug. “Facts and logic? Critical thinking? I don’t know.”
My brother shoves me playfully. “Yeah. Just, thinking about what she went through, it’s amazing she trusts us enough to let us in.”
I nod. “She and Travis have a lot in common, too. I’m just not sure he’s told her what he’s been through. It took him years to tell us.”
“He’s an idiot, then. Blair, of all people, would understand.”
“Probably.”
Blair’s story is heartbreaking—but I know that none of us can change how she sees herself or her belief that she was responsible for what happened to her ex-pack.
I wish I could, but doing that would be like trying to convince my brother that everything will be okay.
They’re not wired like that, and I can respect it, even if it’s frustrating and heartbreaking as hell.
Posie and Rosie trot in, and the three of the kittens break out into a brawl. Ash comes in behind them, sitting in front of my feet and surveying the chaos of his sisters.
“Come on.” I motion to Rowan. “They have a babysitter now. Let’s leave them alone and get ready.”
Hopefully, stepping out of this room will help him snap out of his spiral, too.
We have a lot to be excited about.
Our scent match is visiting.
By the time the doorbell rings, I’m antsy.
Rowan and I sat on the couch, waiting like high school kids for our date to arrive.
I’m up and opening the door before Rowan can reach it, and Blair is there, standing in front of me, radiant and smiling softly. Her eyes, though gorgeous, are still slightly guarded, as if she’s still unsure how to navigate all of this.
“Hey, you,” she says. “Long time no see.”
Her scent hits me then, and I realize something I wasn’t able to catch before.
My inner Alpha stirs to life, inhaling greedily.
She’s close to her Heat.
My scent match is close to her Heat.
Holy shit.
Her pupils widen, and I lick my lips.
“H-hey,” I choke out, clearing my throat quickly. “Good to see you.”
“You going to let me in, or…?” her tone is meant to be teasing, but it’s strained.
I must be staring at her like a creep.
“Yeah.” I swing the door wide and step aside. “Of course. Come in.”
My hands ache to hold her.
I want to gather her in my arms and just—
But Blair is the one to initiate contact.
Blair pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my chest. I’m frozen for a moment, then quickly place my hands on her waist, breathing her in.
She smells like heaven.
She’s in my arms.
My scent match, the one I’ve waited for is finally—
“Sorry,” she murmurs, interrupting my train of thought.
“What on earth could you possibly be sorry for?” I say into her hair, marveling at the violet scent of her golden strands.
But she doesn’t answer, just keeps herself pressed to me.
I savor every second of it.
I can tell she’s breathing me in, too, and I couldn’t be more pleased.
A purr starts in my chest when my brother clears his throat.
Blair pulls away, and I turn to give Rowan the dirtiest look I’ve ever given in my life.
Brother or not, my Alpha instincts are ready to attack him for interrupting my time with my scent match.
Until I snap out it and realize the feral part of me was heading to the surface.
Which means Rowan is experiencing the same thing.
“Rowan,” Blair sighs, and I watch as she goes to my brother and throws herself in his arms. He shoots a quick look of surprise at me before embracing her.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he murmurs to her. She sighs deeply in his hold, breathing him in, just like she did to me.
Her Heat is coming soon; there’s no denying that.
As much as my Alpha brain wants to go haywire and knot her, I need to be sure of what she wants.
I know guilt still eats at her. She’s still slightly guarded, even when hugging us.
When she finally pulls away from Rowan, he’s looking down at her with amazement in his eyes, like he can’t believe she was in his arms and she willingly chose to touch him.
“So,” she says, her voice a little breathy, “I heard you wanted to show me some video games.”
My cock is about to burst through my pant seams.
I choke out an awkward laugh. “Yeah. We have everything set up in the living room.”
Rowan places a hand at the small of her back and leads her to the setup.
“This looks cozy,” she says, amused. “You guys outdid yourselves.”
We could have done more.
The couches are topped with extra pillows and thick throw blankets, and a giant cream-colored bean bag sits in front of it.
All of it screams comfort and relaxation.
Rowan found a weighted plush cat that looked remarkably like Alvin from the rescue and picked it up on a whim. It sits at the far end of the couch, leaning against the armrest.
“Yeah, well,” Rowan shrugs, “if you want anything else, just say the word. I’ll make it happen.”
Blair shakes her head and chuckles. “It’s more than enough, guys. It looks comfy.” She sits next to the plush Alvin, smiling softly. “This is great.”
Rowan beams, his eyes bright and earnest. “Anything else you want, babe—”
“Rowan,” Blair reminds him. “I know. But this is what I want.”
He’s so terrified of messing this up, yet everything is going better than we expected.
I’ve never seen my brother look so vulnerable before. His eyes rarely leave Blair, and he looks as mesmerized by her as I feel.
I join her on the couch, sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around the backrest. Rowan gives me a dirty look, but I simply smirk at him.
It’s not my fault I got to the couch before he did.
Blair’s scent is everywhere, making my head spin and my cock ache.
“So. Video games.” I turn to her, meeting her gaze. “Talk to us.”
Rowan sits on the other side of the L-shaped couch, facing Blair. He leans down and rests his elbows on his knees, staring at her.
She laughs. “Look, I used to play those simulator games. I’ve had to build and run restaurants, manage family drama, all that stuff. I just haven’t played in years.”
“So, no horror games?” Rowan asks. “Just more cozy type?”
“Something like that.”
“Was there a reason you stopped?” I ask cautiously.
“As ridiculous as it sounds, I had bad memories associated with them,” she says slowly. Then, she looks to Rowan. “But I’m open to playing games with you two, at least for tonight.”
Rowan looks thrilled. “Really? If you’re not comfortable, we don’t have to.”