Chapter 20 #2
Ryland rocks gently behind me, running a hand down my back. “Whatever you need, sweet girl.”
With their subtle movements, another release rips through my body, and I shake with tremors.
They rock me until there’s barely space inside me for their knots.
Ryland continues the soothing touches, and Rowan purrs for me, his vibrations quieting the chaos in my heart.
I breathe both of them in slowly and close my eyes, relaxing against Rowan’s chest.
The guilt I normally carry doesn’t linger this time.
My mind is quiet.
“You look different,” Maeve announces the next day.
“Huh?” I wrinkle my nose while I clean up one of the litter boxes. There are seven crates left to do, and it’s my least favorite chore.
Sweet Maeve offered to help, but I can’t stop feeling her watching me.
“You’re glowing.”
“I’m scooping cat poop, Maeve.”
“No, like everything inside you is lighter.”
I feel different, as well.
After our…activities yesterday, I woke up surrounded by blankets and pillows on the Alphas’ living room couch. I had passed out with them inside me, and when I finally came to, I was met with two sets of anxious eyes.
Ryland and Rowan had worried what we had done was too much for me at once, especially after my emotional reaction.
After giving them many reassurances, I stayed wrapped in the blankets, cozy and warm, while we continued playing video games.
It was the most fun I’ve had in ages.
Fun.
I forgot what it was like to have fun without shadows of shame lingering over me.
Is this how Piper feels, now? Liberated from her constant doubts now that she has a pack that supports her?
Maybe this is how life is supposed to be.
I toss the small baggie into the trash and do a quick mental scan of my body.
“I am lighter,” I murmur in surprise.
I didn’t know how much emotional weight I was carrying inside me.
Wow.
“Looks like all it took was a good dicking down,” Maeve chuckles.
I shoot her a dirty look. “That is not what happened.”
But my cheeks burn, and I know my flush has given me away.
“Who got dicked down?” Piper asks, armed with a giant bag of cat litter.
“No one,” I snap, and Piper pauses to look at me.
“Oh. You did.”
I glare at her. “I’m not talking about this while cleaning a litter box.”
But Piper is delighted, and it’s hard to keep from smiling when she and Maeve are so excited for me.
“Stop making those faces,” I laugh. “You guys look ridiculous.”
“Uh-huh. Also, what time are you off today?” Piper moves past me to pour litter into the freshly cleaned box.
“I’m here until five. Why?”
Maeve suddenly turns her attention back to the kennels, humming to herself.
Piper places the bag of litter on the floor and motions for me to follow her out of the room and back to the reception area.
“Remember that time last year when you told me to go home because I was perfuming everywhere?” she asks quietly. Alvin jumps onto the counter and nuzzles my hand while I frown.
“Yeah, I do.”
“And I went home, because you were right, and because I was so close to my Heat?”
I don’t like where this conversation is going.
“I feel fine. I took some scent blocking gummies and my suppressants.”
“That’s great for you,” Piper says. “But you’re still perfuming.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
It must be from everything I did yesterday with Rowan and Ryland—our scents have merged, and suddenly, I’m stinking up the entire building.
But I quickly do the math in my head and flinch at the realization.
Sure, my womb is lightly cramping and I’m wearing slick pads, but my Heat isn’t due for at least another week. If I’m pushing it, maybe two.
At least, I thought it was.
But the chaos of the last few weeks has thrown me off.
I whip out my phone and open my Heat tracker app.
“Oh, fuck,” I mutter, staring at the screen. “Oh, fuck.”
It’s due this week. Likely tomorrow.
Piper raises an eyebrow. “Haven’t there been signs for you? You have symptoms, right?”
I’m so embarrassed.
“I thought they were just the normal ones when you find your scent match,” I whisper in horror.
I’m not prepared at all for this Heat.
I need to wash my blankets, fluff my nest, pick out some candles…
And I haven’t even asked Travis or his packmates to help me through it.
“Go home right now. When it starts, I can take care of Marlin and Mervin,” Piper whispers. “Maeve and I got this.”
I shake my head. “I have a shift at Scents tonight.”
Piper levels me with a look. “You’re out of your fucking mind. Call out like a normal person,” she says.
“Travis is working tonight,” I mutter, my stomach flipping.
“Reckless and horny doesn’t sound like a good way to go into work, Blair. What the hell has gotten into you?” Piper looks delighted and horrified at the same time.
I shrug. “Two knots, so far. Aiming for three.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself.
“Holy shit! Who is this new Blair? What have you done with the old one?”
I have no idea, truthfully.
But something my friend said makes my brow furrow. “Wait. Why are you offering to take care of the cats? I’m able to feed them during my Heat. It sucks, but I manage.”
Piper crosses her arms and leans against the reception counter. “So, you’re bringing them to the packhouse?” she deadpans. “You and your pack are going to have six cats to take care of while this happens?”
I huff. “You’re assuming I’m not spending my Heat by myself.”
But I can sense the heaviness of the lie as soon as it leaves my mouth.
Of course I’m not spending this Heat alone.
There’s no point in pretending I am.
“You’re an idiot,” Piper says. “Which is insane, because you’re the smartest person I know.”
“That’s a reach, but I appreciate the compliment.”
“Go home. Get your stuff together. And go to Scents, I guess.” She shrugs. “You’re perfuming so hard I’m sure you’ll get a ton of tips. Then, you can ask Travis to help you, Blair-Bear.”
I scowl. “Let me wash my hands first.”
But the door jingles behind me, and Mari walks in.
“Girls!” she exclaims. “It’s so nice to see you!”
That’s my cue to go. Mari is kind and loves cats, but is also obsessed with gossip and being in everyone’s business.
She does make the best cookies, though.
But unfortunately, there is no tray of cookies in her hands when she stops in front of me and wrinkles her nose. “Oh honey,” she says. “You should go home.”
Piper bursts out laughing as I storm to the bathroom to wash my hands, mortified.
Maybe there’s still pet odor spray in there that I can use.
I’m sure Piper would get a kick out of that.
After my hands are clean, my phone vibrates with a notification and snaps me out of my excitement. My stomach churns when I read the text message from the number I recognize.
Praying for you. Hope all is well.
Justin’s mother, Annette.
Annette, who never liked me, but pretended she did with her tight, fake smiles.
Annette, who made it clear she thought I wasn’t good enough for her son.
She wanted someone for him with ambition, not just an Omega that chooses to slum it with cats.
Justin defended me every chance he got, but his mother’s distain for me was always there.
After the accident, she let it be known that if I had just told her son to stay the night at my place, he would still be alive.
My womb painfully cramps, and tears fill my eyes.
Now is not the time for this.
I should have blocked her number forever ago—but I keep the string of messages as a sick little reminder of my past.
The guilt comes rushing back, and I’m bombarded with memories.
I grip the edge of the bathroom counter, inhaling and exhaling slowly.
Please, not now.
Annette is wrong.
She’s wrong.
I’m not the reason the Alphas are gone.
I’m not.
With a final exhale, I place my phone back in my pocket and head to the front of the building.
I won’t let her ruin this for me.
I’m having a Heat, and I won’t be spending it alone.